by Mj Fields
���My parents split a month ago, so I guess I���m emotionally disturbed now as well,��� Tessa said and they both laughed.
���Hey Tessa, Carly,��� Lucas said from behind them.
���Hi Lucas,��� Carly said. ���How are you?���
���I���m well. Are you three still trying to kick my girlfriend���s ass?���
���Well I���m good; the other two are red carded,��� she said and laughed.
���You okay, baby?��� he asked Tessa and she looked away.
���Oh you���re mad at me? You asked me to apologize to her and I did,��� he said.
���Holy shit,��� Carly said laughing, ���Lucas Links is in love.���
Lucas laughed at her, and his face turned red, ���I am,��� he said and pulled Tessa into his arms. ���Sobriety and Tessa have been good for me,��� he laughed and kissed Tessa���s head.
���Well Lucas I���m happy for you, truly I am,��� Carly said, ���It���s a work in progress but I���m getting there too.���
Tessa looked at her and smiled, ���I think you���re my favorite so far,��� they laughed.
���See you in a few minutes Ross, so I can kick your ass up and down this field,��� she said walking away.
Tessa looked up at him, ���You���re not mad at me?���
Lucas laughed, ���I didn���t say that,��� and he kissed her.
���Your Mom���s here,��� she said beaming.
���No shit Tessa, you are my little ray of sunshine,��� they walked over and said hello to his mother.
The game ended 3- 1, and they all walked back to the school. They met in the parking lot after showering and changing, and Tessa ran to Lucas and jumped into his arms. She kissed him wildly.
���Slow down, crazy girl,��� he laughed.
���I love you, Lucas. I was so scared you were pissed at me,��� she said, kissing him.
���Let���s get something straight; I am pissed at you, or was, it hasn���t sunk in yet, but I love you anyways,��� he winked and kissed her head. ���So you threw up after our fight?��� Her face turned red. ���Wow Tessa, I have some effect on you don���t I?���
���Yep and it STILL scares me.���
He looked past her and stiffened. Tessa turned and looked, B1 and B2 were behind her. ���So Lucas you love this girl, huh?��� B1 asked.
���Well hello, Madison and Jamie,��� Lucas said.
Tessa looked up at him. ���It���s like the movie Scrooge. So we have four down and how many to go?��� she asked, secretly hoping he would make things right with them too.
He kissed her head and looked at the girls. ���Are you two here to apologize?��� he said directing his attention to the antagonists. .
Alex walked up and Lucas nodded. ���You want to take Tessa?���
���Anywhere she wants to go.��� Alex pulled Tessa off Lucas and carried her to the truck as she tried to wiggle free.
���Oh, so that���s what you���re into now?��� Jamie asked. ���He���s hot. I���ll play with him too.��� Both girls laughed as they checked out Alex.
���Nice ass,��� they called after him.
Phoebe started off after them. Alex grabbed her around the waist and carried her with Tessa to the back of the truck. He plopped them on the tailgate.
Phoebe blushed. ���Wow, you are strong.���
���And you���re feisty,��� Alex said, smiling at her.
She giggled and they stared at each other.
Jade looked at Tommy and laughed. ���Look at them; aren���t they cute?��� Jade said. ���You have a date to homecoming, Alex?���
���Not yet,��� he said, still looking at Phoebe.
Jade smiled. ���Ask her, then.���
���Butt out, Jade.��� Alex eyes never left Phoebe.
She looked confused and then disappointed. Alex never looked away.
Tessa could see something between them already. But her focus moved back to Lucas.
Tessa watched carefully as the two B���s stood in front of Lucas, his hands deep in his pockets.
���He���s her brother,��� Lucas said. ���It���s not like that.���
���So what is it like?��� Jamie said, laughing.
���Yes, do tell,��� Madison said.
���I am sorry for whatever it was we were doing. It wasn���t right of me to treat you all like that,��� Lucas said.
���Oh shit, Linksy, we���re big girls. We loved it. Carly may be out but, there are still two of us that want to play,��� Jamie said, reaching for his waistband.
He moved away. ���Knock it off. I���m sorry if I hurt you in any way. This is done. I have a girlfriend. I love her. And you two are to leave her alone.���
���If we don���t, will you spank us?��� Madison asked.
���We are done here,��� Lucas walked away.
���See you soon,��� Madison called after him.
���Not a chance,��� he yelled, staring at Tessa who was watching him.
Lucas walked up to the truck and grabbed her. He pulled her behind him. He looked wildly into Tessa���s eyes and pushed his forehead into hers, breathing deeply.
���I���m supposed to give Phoebe a ride home, Lucas,��� ���Alex I want to take Tessa home, could you give Phoebe a ride home?��� Lucas asked.
���I would love to,��� Alex said smiling. Phoebe blushed and looked down.
Lucas tossed his keys at Tessa, ���You drive please to my house.���
He was acting odd, she didn���t argue, she jumped in the driver���s side and adjusted the seat and mirrors. He leaned his seat all the way back. She backed up as Jamie and Madison watched. ���He���s letting her drive,��� Jamie said
���Well that���s that,��� Madison said sadly.
* * *
Lucas watched Tessa as she drove. He grabbed her hand and held it to his chest; his heart was beating like crazy. He was trying to control his breathing.
���Shit!���
He sat up. ���What was that?���
���A deer,��� she said quietly. ���Lucas, are you mad at me?���
���No, I���m just frustrated right now,��� he said, letting out a deep breath.
���Oh.���
���Would you pull over up here? There���s a turn around.���
She pulled over he turned off the car.
���Baby, I need to tell you what is going on with me right now, and I need you to listen. Can you do that for me?���
���Of course, I would do anything for you.���
���Fuck Tessa, that���s not what I want to hear right now.���.
���I���m sorry, Lucas. I don���t know what you want me to say.���
���Tessa, you know how hard it is for an alcoholic or drug abuser to stop using?��� he asked.
���I���ve read about it,��� she said softly.
He laughed at how damn innocent she was, she looked confused. She even looked hot when she was clueless, he thought.
���To clean up, addicts have to stay away from their drug of choice, right?��� he said. She nodded. ���Now imagine someone was trying to clean up in a bar or frat house, or I don���t know, anywhere that drug is available. Well, it would be impossible. Tessa,
my drug of choice is sex. And I feel like a fucking crack head that has a pipe surgically implanted in his body.���
���How is sex like a drug? I don���t get it.���
���Fuck Tessa,��� he grabbed her hand and placed it on his pants. ���This is what I���m talking about.���
Her jaw dropped and she quickly removed her hand. ���You want them, Lucas?���
���No Tessa, this didn���t happen there ��� it happened as soon as I touched your hand. You are killing me.��� He punched the dash.
���Okay.��� She placed her hand back on him, stroking him outside of his pants.
Lucas groaned and pushed into her hand, then pushed her hand away. ���No, as soon as that happens things will change. I love you, Tessa. I don���t want things to change. You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to love you in a way I never have loved, you have loved me better than anyone ��� not because you have to but because it���s who you are. I want to spend a very long time with you. I���m just scared that it���ll change. I���m not willing to change what we have, and it���s like going through withdrawal.���
���So you���re never going to have sex with me?��� she asked. He laughed out loud and she looked at him confused. ���Lucas, now you need to listen; sometimes I feel like you���re just waiting for this to fail, and I will never feel what it���s like to have all of you.���
He punched the dash again and jumped out.
She followed him. ���Is this a game to you? Do you like to play with my head and make me feel like I���m less desirable than any one of the dirty dozen, Lucas?��� Tessa yelled.
���What are you talking about, Tessa? I���m trying to be better for you. I���m not playing a game!���
���Am I an experiment? A new toy? I don���t know, Lucas. I want you so badly, and you keep acting like you don���t want me. I���m confused. This is all new to me, and if it is going to work with us,��� she said walking toward him, ���it will work because of this.��� She touched his heart, ���The bonus will be here,��� she said pointing towards his erection.
���I know you know that, Tessa, and I wish that I had been brought up to feel that way. I want to change. I have looked four girls in the eyes today knowing they are as fucked up as I am and told them I was sorry because it���s the right thing to do, because in the short time I���ve known you, I have learned that.���
���Okay.���
���Okay what, Tessa?���
���I don���t know,��� she cried. ���I don���t know how to make you feel better. If we have sex, it���ll get old for you. If we try to be friends, I think I���ll die without knowing you love me the way I love you, I don���t know what to say or do. All I know is right now, I feel helpless and stupid and my heart breaks for you.��� He hugged her. ���I would stay here forever with you if I knew that it would make you happy,��� she whispered. Her tears had stopped. She had no more.
She stepped away from him and looked up into his confused, sad eyes. ���I know that I love you, and I���m happy and feel loved when I���m with you, but what just happened��� crushes me. It hurts. I���m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you happy, but it has to be forever, and I know right now you don���t feel like it can work, but if you just try hard maybe it can. I���m not going anywhere.���
���I should get you home,��� he whispered and opened the passenger door for her.
They drove for a while in silence and finally she spoke. ���You okay?���
���I���m better as long as I have you.���
���Remember at the game when I told you to think of something unpleasant when you feel like you���re going to explode? You should do that.���
He laughed. ���Okay I will.���
���Got any ideas?���
���None yet.���
���We���ll work on that.���
He walked her to the door of the farmhouse. He hugged her tight and kissed her head. ���I love you, Tessa Ross.���
���I love you. See you in the morning. Drive safely. Text me when you get home.���
The kids were in bed, and Tessa���s dad was asleep on the couch. Tessa did the dishes in the sink and made lunches for school. She swept and mopped the floor, went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She switched laundry and got into bed.
Her phone chimed
- I���m home safely; I love you more now than yesterday, thank you Tessa for being you���LYA Lucas
- I feel blessed having you in my life Lucas Links, I thought of something���.LYA Tessa
- I thought of something too, losing you���LYA Lucas
- That is so sweet all I could think of was dead puppies:) ���.LYA Tessa
- You make me laugh ���LYA Lucas
- I���m a very funny girl���LYA Tessa
CHAPTER ELEVEN
On Friday he met her at her locker with a bouquet of yellow roses and white daisies. ���Damn Tessa, they were supposed to make you be happy not sad.���
���I am happy.��� She hugged him. ���It���s just that two days ago I was afraid I would lose you, and today you���re here with flowers. I love you. They���re beautiful.��� She kissed him as if they were alone.
He pulled away, put his forehead to hers, and whispered, ���Dead Puppies,��� over and over again.
She laughed. ���Did it work?���
���It did ��� right up until I opened my eyes and saw you,��� Lucas said in a whisper. He kissed her cheek.
���Maybe I should blindfold you before we kiss,��� she said. His nose flared and eyes closed. ���Oh sorry, I wouldn���t have guessed. Dead Puppies?���
���A whole room full of them,��� he said.
* * *
���So,��� Becca said, ���the big dance is tomorrow and we were thinking Mani- Pedi���s and a bit of waxing tonight, the four of us.���
���Sounds great,��� Tessa said. ���After practice?���
���What sounds great?��� Lucas asked, as he sat next to Tessa.
���The four of us going to get waxed,��� Phoebe said, laughing.
Tessa looked at Lucas. ���You don���t mind do you?���
He closed his eyes.
���Dead puppies?��� she asked.
He laughed and shook his head.
���Wax?��� she asked.
He shook his head yes.
���We are going after practice to get Mani Pedy���s.���
���Right after?��� Lucas asked.
���I think so. If we don���t, we won���t be home until midnight.���
���Where are you going?���
���Probably Ithaca.���
���Can I drive you?���
���I think I will ride with the girls. It would be silly for you to drive me.���
���I want to,��� he said.
���Are you upset about this?���
���No, it just means I won���t see you tonight.���
���But I will have pretty feet and nails for the dance on Saturday.���
���I like them the way they are,��� he stuck out his lower lip purposely.
���I want to be beautiful for you.���
He scowled. ���If it gets any better, then you better bring a basket of t
hose puppies with you.
Tessa smiled. ���Why don���t you, Tommy and Alex go to dinner? I���ll text you where we are and when we should be done, and maybe we can hook up after we have pretty piggy���s.���
���Or maybe I will go home and pout,��� Lucas said.
���If you do send me a picture. You���re hot when you pout.��� She kissed his nose.
* * *
After school the girls piled in the car and drove to Ithaca, radio cranked and singing at the top of their lungs. They talked and laughed as they were pampered. Tessa chose French tips so it looked like she actually had nails. Jade went red, Phoebe hot pink, and Becca light pink. They got their eyebrows waxed, and Tessa took a chance on a bikini wax, something she regretted right away.
- Hey baby what you are doing?...LYA.... Tessa.
- Hanging at home���U2���Lucas
- won���t see you for dinner then���LYA Tessa.
- see you at school, have fun���Lucas
���What the hell is his problem?��� Tessa said out loud.
���What���s going on?��� Jade asked.
Tessa read the messages. ���What does LYA mean?��� Jade asked.
���Love you anyway,��� Tessa said quietly.
���Well, what���s that mean?��� Phoebe asked.
���For me, it���s about loving him even though he has a crazy past. His anyways is because I haven���t put out,��� Tessa said laughing.
���Well, let���s drive over and see what���s up,��� Jade said.
���Sounds like a plan,��� Phoebe said.
They went to drive- through and picked up food, they talked Tessa into a milk shake. The girls tried to cheer her up but she was distracted by thoughts of Lucas���s shift in mood.
They pulled down his road.
���His house is the colonial on the right about a mile up,��� Tessa said.
���What do you want me to do?��� Becca asked.
