by Mj Fields
���Good morning, Tessa,��� Lucas said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
���Good morning. Did you stay last night?��� she asked, confused.
���I did.���
���Oh, where did you sleep?���
���In the loft,��� he said, looking down.
���Oh,��� she rolled her eyes.
���Did Marie stay?��� she asked.
���Of course not, Tessa. You know I wouldn���t bring her here.���
���Do I?���
���Tessa���.���
���No big deal you should have. That���s too bad. I mean, the connection you two share must be wonderful,��� Tessa said.
���How was your date?��� he asked.
���You should know; you were on it with me,��� she shot at him.
He looked in her eyes. ���Yeah, all the kissing was awesome to watch.���
���Oh, I���m so sorry. Maybe you can go with me tonight so you can watch me give him a blow job, Lucas,��� she said, raising her voice. ���Maybe I can see if he will kick your ass after I screw him.���
���Good morning, Tessa. Hello, Lucas��� Toby said.
���Could we have a minute, please?��� Lucas said through clenched teeth.
���Tessa, is that alright with you?��� Toby asked.
���Sure,��� she said, staring at Lucas. Toby walked away.
���I���m sorry, and I wish you would let me explain the situation you walked into the other night,��� Lucas said quietly.
���Um, well sure, let���s hear it,��� she said.
���I was stoned and drunk,��� he started.
���Why?���
���It was a rough afternoon,��� he said his face blank.
���Because I went to get my nails done?��� she asked. ���Because I wasn���t there to Lucas set?���
���It���s not at all about you.���
���No, it���s not and I���m done here. You hurt me, and you won���t have the opportunity to do it again.��� She walked away.
���Stop Tessa, please. Just one more thing, and I won���t say another.��� Tessa stopped and turned around. ���Can you be my friend for a while? I have some things to work through, and I don���t want you to not be in my life. So can we be friends? Please?���
Lucas was very serious and her heart ached hearing his words. Friends. How? She wondered. He has some things to work through, her head spun as she searched his eyes for an answer. He walked towards her staring into her eyes. She was confused, and she knew he was too. She was breathing deeply and her eyes were tearing up. He grabbed her shoulders and brought her closer to him and he hugged her and she sunk into him. She grabbed his shirt and hung on to him.
���I know I don���t deserve you, Tessa, but please don���t count me out. I have never needed someone���s love as much as I need yours. Be my friend. If that���s all you can give, I���ll take it. I need you to know that I love you, and someday, with some work, you���ll never doubt that again.��� He closed his eyes, breathed in her hair and kissed her head. He untangled his arms and released her. She didn���t move for a few minutes. Finally, she breathed and then lightly tugged at his shirt. She wanted to stay in his warm and wanted embrace, but she knew she couldn���t. She looked up at him and turned and walked away. She took a deep breath and went to find to Toby.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lucas watched as Tessa walked away with Toby. Tommy came out of the cabin and waved for him to come.
He got into the car and sat back.
���How are you doing, man?��� Tommy looked over at Lucas as they pulled onto the road.
Fine,��� Lucas said.
���Answer a question?���
���Sure.���
���Why did you bring Marie to the dance?��� he asked.
���I needed to see her, and I didn���t have a date.���
���You want Tessa back?���
���Yes, very much.���
���Want some advice?��� Tommy asked. Lucas nodded. ���Stop bringing your crazy exes around.���
Lucas smirked. ���Wasn���t like that.���
���Then what are you doing, Lucas?��� he asked. ���Because I���m confused.���
���I���m getting better, Tommy, for her,��� he said. ���And for me.���
Tommy smiled. ���I���m so glad you finally feel you���re worth it. So what are you doing today and tonight?���
���Laundry and cleaning today, not sure about tonight. Any plans?���
���Going to Jade���s to meet the family. Wanna come?��� Tommy asked.
���No, thanks. You have fun with that,��� Lucas said, laughing.
���How about tomorrow? Go to church with me?���
���Sure, what time?��� The car swerved and he grabbed the wheel. ���Watch the road.���
���Sorry, man. Just so we���re clear; you did just say you���d come to church with me, right?��� Tommy seemed shocked.
���Yes, buddy, I did,��� Lucas laughed
���Wow, I think you love her.���
���I do, Tommy. I do,��� Lucas said. ���I just wish it wasn���t so hard.���
���If anyone can win a girl over, it���s you, Lucas. Just give it time.���
���Tommy, the road, please. This is absolutely why I always drive,��� Lucas laughed.
Tommy pulled into Lucas���s driveway and put the car in park. ���Okay church in the morning, right?���
���Yep. nine- thirty?��� Lucas asked getting out of the car.
���Sunday school starts at nine, man.���
���Tommy, you haven���t been to Sunday school in a year. Don���t push it,��� Lucas smiled and then walked into the house. He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone.
He took out his phone and sent Tessa a message.
- I held you today at the same time I let you go. I trust in what I feel for the first time, you���ll be part of me forever. I am forever changed because of you, Day 2 without Tessa Ross sucks, but I can make it right? ���.LYA Lucas
* * *
Tessa got ready for her date. She had no idea where they were going so she hoped jeans would do. She wore her favorite ones with a white blouse and a jacket, and she threw on a scarf to brighten it up. She straightened her hair and even applied mascara and lip- gloss. Jade would be proud. She walked out into the living room and sat and waited.
She heard and knock and then the door opening. Toby walked in wearing jeans and a sweater. He was very handsome. His dark brown hair was cut short and his green eyes where amazing. He was six foot and in amazing shape.
���Hey Tessa, how was church?��� Toby asked.
���Great. How was your morning?��� Tessa smiled as she stood up.
���Crazy, busy, and much better now.��� Toby hugged her. ���You ready to go?���
The kids ran out yelling his name. They loved him, and he scooped them up and twirled them around. He pulled a Star Wars DVD out of his jacket and gave it to them. ���You have got to watch this. It���s a classic!���
They���d already seen it a hundred times, but they didn���t tell him that.
���They���ve seen it, haven���t they?��� he asked.
���A few times,���
she laughed. ���But it was nice of you to think of them.���
���Are you okay with this, Tessa? It doesn���t feel weird, does it?��� Toby asked.
���No, it���s great. Where are we going?���
���Lunch and a movie sound okay?���
Tessa smiled. ���It sounds perfect.���
* * *
They drove to Ithaca and went to the Commons where they ate dinner at a small caf�� while talking about his plans when he graduated in two years.
���What will your job be?��� Tessa asked.
���I am going to be an MD,��� Toby said taking a bite of his lunch.
���So you���ll be a medical doctor?���
���Hopefully,��� Toby said, laughing as he wiped his mouth and then hers.
���Sorry,��� Tessa blushed. ���Will you move a lot?���
���Probably every four years.���
���Won���t you miss your family?���
���Of course, I will. I do, however, get thirty days off leave a year. Four weeks off a year, and I get to travel and help people, and the majority of the military hospitals are on the east coast so it will be just a short plane trip home.��� He sat back. ���Does that bother you?���
���No, I think it���s wonderful. It would just be hard, that���s all.���
���What would be hard?��� he asked. ���Being away from family.���
���Yes, I guess.���
���That���s what some people do, Tessa. But the big picture is pretty awesome. I���ll retire in my forties. If I am married by the time I am twenty- seven and the wonderful woman I marry wants children, we can raise them while traveling and seeing the world if we choose. By the time our perfect little monsters are heading into their teens, we can drag them kicking and screaming back here. I can either work or coach their sports team, ya know, be present. The sacrifices I make today will be huge rewards tomorrow.���
They drove to the mall and talked about their dreams and even about the possibility of a future with the two of them. She was happy when she was with him. She could still feel innocent and desired at the same time. She didn���t have to be someone she never was before. It was nice. But she often thought of Lucas and wondered if he was alright. She needed him to be alright.
* * *
They walked in the mall and held hands. They went to grab ice cream, and she saw Lucas standing in front of yet another brunette. He turned toward Tessa and shook his head.
���Jill; number two,��� he said as he walked past. Tessa looked up at Toby who looked confused. Then Toby smiled and shook his head.
���What?��� Tessa asked.
���You���ll figure it out.���
They ordered ice cream and decided to skip the movie and instead sat and talked.
Tessa was home by two.
He walked her to the door and kissed her cheek. ���Thank you for a great weekend.���
���No, thank you. You have been amazing and have opened my eyes. When will I see you again?��� she asked. He smiled. ���Oh, I���m sorry.���
���You are so beautiful,��� he said, staring in her eyes. ���I���m going to be back in a few hours to shoot. Will you be here?���
���Yes,��� she said.
���See you then, Tessa.��� He opened the door for her to walk in and closed it behind her.
* * *
Tessa woke up to Toby sitting across from her and smiling. ���Tired angel?���
���I guess I was,��� she smiled. ���I will be right out, you go ahead.���
She walked out to the barn and immediately saw Lucas. What the hell is he doing here? Okay, Tessa; forgiveness, your crazy butt just heard an hour sermon on it at church.
���Hey Tessa, these boys don���t believe you can shoot. Will you prove me right?��� John asked.
���Sure let me grab my bow.��� Tessa walked into the small room that held the arsenal they had collected over the years. She came out and smiled. ���Hey Lucas, why don���t you run in the house and grab an apple to put on your head?���
���I don���t think that���s a good idea,��� he smiled.
She stood and loaded the arrow, drew back the bow, and hit a bull���s eye. ���Anyone else want to try?��� Alex was first and he did well, Tommy was a tad bit off but did hit the target. Toby was just outside the bull���s eye.
���Lucas, you want to try?���
He was chewing on a piece of straw and wearing a white hat and jeans that sat on his hips as perfectly as ever.
He walked up. ���Sure, I���ll try it.���
He had never shot one before apparently, because she had to help him, a lot. At one point she heard him breathe in when her head was close enough. She looked at him and whispered, ���Did you just smell me?���
He grinned and shook his head.
She narrowed her eyes. ���Friends don���t sniff friends, unless you���re a dog sniffing another dog���s ass.���
Lucas grinned. ���Tessa are we friends now?���
���Yes, Lucas.���
���Thank you. I think I got this,��� Lucas said. He pulled back and shot. His arrow kissed hers dead center. ���Look at that,��� he smiled.
���No way,��� Tessa said. ���You have done that before, faker,��� she laughed. ���Do it again.���
And he did, four times. She looked at him and laughed.
She shot guns and laughed for three hours with them. ���Tessa, you���re going to hunt with us this year, right?��� John asked.
���Daddy, not in a million years. I���ve told you; give me a bunch of nasty people, twelve maybe thirteen,��� she looked at Lucas. ���I���ll shoot them before I���d shoot a defenseless animal.���
���Wow, Tessa,��� Toby said. ���Wouldn���t want to get on your bad side.���
* * *
���How was dinner at Jade���s?��� Lucas asked.
���It was good. Jade can cook,��� Tommy smiled.
���What were her parents like?���
���Well, her Dad seems cool, very protective. Her Mom is almost as beautiful as Jade, but a complete mess. She left right after dinner. Apparently she hadn���t seen Jade in a year. Jade cried most of the night after she left.���
���Oh?��� Lucas asked.
���Yeah, Jade had two brothers, twins actually that died in a car accident a couple years ago,��� Tommy told Lucas. ���I guess her mom was driving the kid���s home from the movies and another car hit theirs. Jade and her Mom lived, the boys didn���t. That���s why Alex was held back a year in school. He stopped talking for three months, real awful time for all of them.���
���So is that why her Mom is a wreck?��� Lucas asked.
���I suppose.��� Tommy paused. ���Jade said that she started doing drugs and drinking a lot after the accident. Jade���s dad came home a night early from an out of town job to surprise them and he caught her in bed with another guy. I guess they stayed together for a year until he found another guy in his bed.���
���That���s not cool,��� Lucas said, thinking he actually meant it.
Lucas dropped Tommy off and said he would see him in the morning and drove home. Lucas walked into his quiet house and grabbed a snack out of the fridge. He looked at his phone and wanted to call her. Text her something, but he knew he couldn���t. His work was
not done and she probably was still with GI Joe he thought and cringed. He looked at the half bottle of wine on the counter, took it, and went upstairs.
* * *
Tessa and Toby stayed behind when everyone left. ���When do you have to leave?���
���My flight leaves out of Ithaca tomorrow at six, so I need to be there at five,��� Toby answered.
���Can I drive you?���
���I would love that. What time do you get out of practice?��� Toby asked.
���Four.���
���Alright then, I���ll meet you at the school, like, four- fifteen?���
���Sounds like a plan.��� Tessa smiled.
���We could make it a date. It would be our third,��� Toby said with a wink.
���Can I hug you?��� she asked.
He grabbed her and hugged her. ���You don���t have to ask, angel.���
He kissed the top of her head, and she gazed into his eyes. She wanted him to kiss her. He hadn���t last night, and it bothered her. She wasn���t going to let it happen again. She wanted to know before he left tomorrow if she could feel the same desire with Toby that she felt with Lucas. She stood up on her toes and kissed him. He kissed her gently and pulled back.
He smiled. ���Don���t be angry at me, Tess. I���m in no hurry. I don���t want you to be, either.��� She looked away and he laughed. ���Tessa��� don���t be like that.���
���Sorry.���
���No Tessa, not like that either. I want to kiss you. Things need to be clear in your head though. ���
They walked to the house and he opened the door for her. He grabbed her hand as she walked in, stopping her. ���Tessa, you need to know that I find you irresistible. Every part of me wants to hold you and kiss you, and, well, my heart says not yet.���
Her heart beat faster. She grinned at him, ���Good.���
She walked in smiling, and her Dad shook his head.
���I���m taking Toby to the airport after practice,��� she told him. She kissed his head and went to spend time with Kendall and Jake before they went to bed.
