by Mj Fields
���Well, no ��� I���m not insane. But if you don���t think she could take care of him, then maybe you could get custody.���
���Fuck you Tessa ��� I���m eighteen years old. I was raised by a lush whose head I pulled out of the toilet almost every night from the time I was three, on. I know nothing about taking care of a kid,��� he yelled at her.
���Lucas, yes you do, you took care of yourself, and you can do this.���
She looked for his keys and saw his pocket bulging, great she thought.
���Hey, Lucas would you come here just for a minute.���
He walked towards her, she pulled his head down and kissed him, and he moaned and grabbed one of her breasts and squeezed it hard. He took the other, shit she thought, she reached under his shirt and rubbed is stomach. He groaned as she reached into his pocket.
���Oh, fuck baby,��� he reached down low and rubbed her hard.
���Lucas don���t,��� Tessa whispered.
���Come on baby, I need you right now, you love me right?��� he asked. She didn���t reply.
She grabbed his keys and whispered in his ear, ���I do, and don���t be mad at me, please.��� She turned and she walked away.
���Get back here baby,��� his nostrils flared.
She kept walking; he ran up and grabbed her.
���Lucas I love you, please be nice to me,��� she hugged him, ���I���m so sorry this happened to you.���
He didn���t hug her back, he was pissed, ���Give. Me. My keys Tessa.���
She let go of him and looked up, ���Nope.���
���I have shit to do, Tessa,��� he growled.
���What do you need to do?���
He grabbed for the keys and she took off running. He stood there with his arms crossed, she turned around.
���If you can catch them, you can have them,��� she lifted her shirt and put his keys in her bra.
Lucas shook his head and took off after her. She ran for the woods as fast as she could. He was right behind her, she ran harder and turned up the field and headed back towards the farm. Eventually, he slowed down and then walked. He looked up, and she was smiling tapping her wrist and beckoning him with her hand to come on.
Lucas was pissed and flipped her off. She laughed out loud. She walked into the barn and sat on a bale of hay. He walked in breathless and looked at her, she was smiling and laughed.
���I never thought about it before, but quarterbacks don’t run very much, do they?���
���Enough to catch your buddy Ben���s ass before he made a touchdown,��� he snapped.
���But not as fast as me.���
���Fine, you win. But I���ll go after them if you don’t hand them over.���
���No, you won’t.���
He walked towards her and stopped and looked at her.
���Tessa? Are you scared of me?��� he asked and she walked past him.
���No,��� she walked out towards the house.
He walked in the door several minutes later.
���You look better. Your eyes don’t look like someone poked you in them, buzz gone?��� she asked.
He shook his head yes, and he looked tired.
���Do you have the Munchies?���
He smiled softly, and she told him to sit on the couch. She made popcorn and turned on the TV and handed him the remote. She rubbed the back of his head and ate. He leaned on her shoulder and eventually he fell asleep. She scooted out and laid him gently down and covered him up, she grabbed the bowl and cleaned up a little. She sat in front of him on the floor and watched him sleep. She wanted to scream at him, and she wanted to kill Sadi, but regardless, the situation was not going to change and she needed to help him get through it.
* * *
Tessa gathered together marinated steaks, started twice baked potatoes and grabbed frozen corn from their field out of the freezer. She texted Jade, Tommy, Phoebe and Ryan and asked them to come for dinner, they all accepted. She was baking when he woke up.
He walked into the kitchen, ���What are you doing?���
She smiled, ���Good nap?���
���It was nice.���
���I am making dinner, Tommy, Jade, Phoebe, and Ryan are coming over. Does that sound fun?���
He looked at her, and she couldn’t read his face, ���Sure.���
���Lucas I just thought you would want the people who love you around right now. I’m sorry.���
���I appreciate it. Could I please take you out tomorrow? Alone?��� He asked her face froze, ���as my friend Tessa.���
���Of course,��� Tessa blushed and turned around to continue preparing dinner.
Tessa made a big salad and Lucas helped. He turned on some music hoping she would dance around the kitchen. As usual Tessa started bopping around. Lucas smiled a bittersweet smile knowing this be the last night he spent watching her dance while she cooked for him.
* * *
They all started coming in, and Tessa tried to allow Lucas ample time to talk to the boys about what had happened today if he wanted to. Tessa got out cards, and they sat around and played five card draw.
Lucas watched her laugh and smile and nothing else in the room mattered. He had broken and shattered her, and that didn’t work, she still loved him. He didn���t look forward to what was to come.
That night she woke him up at 2:30 in the morning again. He knew she would, he made sure of it. She was much harder to calm down. She was angry and hurt and scared, he regretted it almost immediately. She sobbed and begged him not to go, he couldn���t tell her he wouldn’t. He kissed her each time she cried until finally, she fell back to sleep.
* * *
The next day was a blur. Sadness and heartache filled the house. By the end of the day, the house was spotless and Tessa had gone for two runs despite the bitter cold air.
* * *
The next morning Tessa had gotten up and made breakfast and left a note.
- I have some things to do. Breakfast is ready, see you all later.
Tessa drove up to camp and went inside and laid down and sobbed. Lucas was moving home today, and she didn���t want to be there. Tessa opened her bag and took one of the pain pills from her ankle injury. She drank it down and fell asleep.
Tommy, Ryan, and Alex helped Lucas move, they were done by noon. Lucas was going to cook for the Ross���s tonight as a thank you. He had bought Prime Rib and googled how to cook it. At two o’clock, he wondered where she was, and by five, he was going out of his mind. He texted her again.
- Tessa we���re all worried where are you?... LL
* * *
Shit, she thought, she had slept way longer than she had hoped, she jumped up and got in the truck and drove home.
���Where have you been,��� Lucas asked as he was checking her out.
Probably to see if I���m drunk, she thought.
���Honestly I fell asleep at camp, your last message woke me.���
���Why were you there?���
���I started to clean up after hunting season. I laid down to rest for a bit and well, I���m here now,��� she smiled.
���Okay,��� Lucas felt her head. ���You���re not sick are you?���
���No, just tired,��� she smiled. ���Did you need help tomorrow with the big move?���
���No everything���s done. Oh, I���m throwing myself a birthday slash New Year���s Eve party tomorrow night. Do you think you and Alex could come?���
���Sure, we can try. You know how busy
our schedules are. Will Sadi be there?���
���No.���
At that moment, he knew what he would do to make this easier for her.
They ate dinner at seven and by nine, everyone was in bed.
Tessa couldn���t sleep and walked downstairs. She decided to read until she fell asleep. Tessa had another dream and woke up as Lucas walked down the stairs. He started to pick her up.
���I���m awake. Sorry, I woke you.���
Lucas sat next to her, ���What was the dream about?���
���An accident, as usual,��� Tessa whispered.
���Can I sit here until you fall asleep?��� Lucas asked, secretly wishing she hadn���t woken up.
���You don���t have to. I���m sure you���re tired, and you have a big party tomorrow. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday Lucas.���
Lucas looked at her, ���Thanks, Tessa.���
He sat back and she leaned over and hugged him. He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her. They both fell asleep.
Tessa woke up, and Lucas was gone. She rushed to the window to see if his SUV was parked in the driveway, and it was. She took a deep breath and started breakfast. She heard the shower and knew it was him.
He walked out in the kitchen and she smiled, ���Happy Birthday!���
���Thanks. I think we already went through that.���
She handed him two gifts. In one package, she gave him a few sweatshirts, one from each of the schools he had talked about attending next year. In the other was a watch, it was the same silver as his necklace and on the back it read YFA TT.
He smiled ���What���s that mean?���
���Your Friend Always and TT is what you���d been calling me when I had that engraved. There���s one more thing, come here.���
She grabbed his hand and took him outside. She opened his hatch, and there was a cooler with a big red bow on it.
���Thanks, TT.���
���Open it,��� she clapped
Lucas opened it. It was packed full of frozen food she had made, each package was labeled, and there was enough for at least a month.
���Tessa, you didn���t have to do that,��� he smiled and hugged her. ���But I���m glad you did.���
���Breakfast foods have green writing, lunch has blue, and dinner has red. I think I got it right. These are the foods you seemed to like the most, and there is enough for you to have seconds. There isn���t side���s, but I think you can boil water, well I know you can especially after last night���s dinner.��� she was looking down.
Lucas lifted her chin and looked in her eyes.
���I���ve been so lucky to have you through all this. I want you to know that Tessa, I���ll never forget it,��� he kissed her, and she kissed him back.
It was not the kiss she was used to and desperately wanted right now. It wasn���t one that begged for more. It was a kiss that said goodbye. She looked in his eyes and knew she was right.
Lucas left an hour later after he said goodbye to the family and thanked them. They were all going to miss him. John told him that he was welcome back anytime and that if he ever needed anything ���don���t hesitate to call.’ Lucas said he would, but Tessa knew better.
Tessa had finally finished crying; she sat down and wrote in her journal. She hadn���t done that since he���d come into her life. She wrote all about him, and how much she loved him. She wrote about what she would do to keep herself busy after tonight���s party. Tessa wrote a long letter to Toby. She finished her letter by telling him how right he was and that her focus needed to and was going to change. She told him that she hoped when she was done with school he may still be there, but understood that falling in love was something no one ever could plan. She sealed his letter and put it in the mailbox.
* * *
Tessa showered and got ready for the party. Alex had already picked up Phoebe; it was eleven when they left. John and the kids were snuggled up in the living room watching the New Year���s Eve countdown, waiting for the ball to drop.
Alex, Phoebe, and Tessa pulled in and saw all the cars. Most of which she didn���t recognize. They rang the doorbell and a stranger opened the door. They made their way through the crowd to the kitchen where Jade and Tommy were sitting lost in each other���s eyes.
���Hello Jade. Hey Tommy,��� Tessa smiled, ���Happy New Year���s Eve.���
They chatted for a bit and heard loud cheers from the living room. They peeked in, and Lucas was surrounded by a slew of girls doing a keg stance. Tessa watched as he flirted with them, and even kissed one on the mouth.
Tessa turned to walk out, and he saw her, ���Tessa baby, come here!���
Tessa stopped and waited for him to walk over to her. He grabbed her and kissed her. She didn���t reciprocate.
���You look so good tonight,��� he kissed her again. ���What time is it?���
She looked at her watch, ���Five of twelve.���
���Excellent I have a surprise for you, come with me.��� Lucas led her up the stairs and pulled a blindfold out of his pocket and put it around her eyes.
���You trust me? Leave that on ��� okay baby?��� he kissed her nose and slid it on.
He opened his bedroom door and brought her in.
���It���s dark in here Lucas, and you’re messed up, please let me take this off.���
���I think you���ll love this surprise,��� he kissed her and unbuttoned her shirt. ���Okay, Tessa now I want to share something with you. I���m going to turn on the light and remove the blindfold. I want you to promise me you���ll have an open mind. In three, two, one.���
Lucas removed her blindfold and kissed her. He slowly pulled away.
Tessa looked at his bed and saw Madison and Jamie lying there together, she looked back at him, and he was taking his shirt off.
���Is this what you think of me? Are you fucking crazy?��� she yelled as she turned away buttoning her shirt.
He grabbed for her, ���I know you���re very curious and thought you���d love this for your first time Tessa. Was I wrong?��� he held her arm.
She reached up with her other hand and punched him in the jaw.
���Nice,��� he winked and gave her his steamy eyed look.
Tessa pulled free, and Lucas grabbed for her as she turned to run out the door. She tripped and hit her head on his dresser.
Lucas pulled her up and looked at her eye. His eyes changed, he looked less fucked up and more concerned.
���Don���t you ever fucking touch me again,��� she yelled as she tried to pull her arm away again, ���Let go of me or I will scream.���
���Lucas let the bitch go, we are still waiting,��� Jamie said.
���ALEX!��� she screamed.
Lucas let go of her, and she ran down the stairs.
Alex was at the bottom.
���Take me home now, please.���
* * *
Lucas picked up his shirt and threw it on, ���You can leave now.���
���Really?���
From his look, they knew he was very serious.
���You served your purpose,��� he growled.
Lucas walked downstairs and Tommy grabbed him, ���What the fuck just happened?���
���Just doing what needs to be done,��� Lucas laughed and pulled away.
Jade slapped him across the face.
���You should be fucking thanking me, Jade,��� Lucas snapped and walked into the bathroom.
Madison and
Jamie walked down the stairs, and Tommy saw them. He knew exactly what Lucas had done and he knew he couldn���t tell Jade.
~
Alex and Phoebe took Tessa home: not a word was spoken. Tessa went in the bathroom and quietly sobbed. How could he? She thought. She looked in the mirror and her eye was black and blue.
���Shit.���
She washed her face and brushed her teeth and then walked out into the living room past Alex and Phoebe, grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer and put it on her eye.
���Did he hit you Tessa?��� Alex growled.
���No, actually I hit him and then my dumb ass fell and smacked my head on his dresser.���
���That���s good. I would���ve killed him. Tessa, what happened?���
���Nothing Alex and I can guarantee I���m done.���
The next morning Lucas called the Spot and told Josie he wouldn���t be able to work there anymore.
���Bullshit, boy- ��� I need you on Saturday nights. Tessa called an hour ago and changed her schedule. Does this have anything to do with that?��� Josie asked.
���No. Okay ��� I���ll be there,��� Lucas said.
* * *
Break was over on Monday and Tessa walked into school with a black and blue eye. She walked past the boys looking down. Lucas saw her eye and slammed his locker and walked the other way.
* * *
On Wednesday night, she was at her mother���s. She sat alone in a small apartment bedroom and thought about what to do next.
Later that night she helped her mom wash dishes, ���Mom, I want to go visit Aunt Ann.���
���At the Cape?��� Maggie asked.
���Yep, just for a long weekend. I figured I could take a bus. I really need this. We have a three- day weekend coming up, and I could miss a day of school. Can I, please?��� Tessa���s voice broke
