by Mj Fields
Ben ran on stage ���I���m here, sorry. A little busy in the parking lot.���
They all cheered.
���Everyone give it up again for, Tess.���
They all clapped. Lucas clenched his jaw and sat at a table near the stage.
���Alright let���s get this place hopping.���
The band played Wonderwall by Oasis, Tessa and Cassidy danced and laughed. Ben sang Everlong by the Foo Fighters: Cassidy and Tessa watched Ben and smiled.
���Sorry man,��� Tommy said to Lucas.
Lucas shook his head and looked at Tessa, ���Not your problem.���
The band sang a few more songs and he gestured for Tessa to come back on stage. He whispered in her ear, she laughed and smiled shaking her head yes. The band played Zombie by The Cranberries. Tessa sang it while she danced with Ben. The crowd went wild and he kissed her. He took her hand and placed it on his butt, she laughed and he kissed her again.
���Hey Tess, have you looked at it yet?��� Ben asked.
She shook her head no and grinned. He undid his pants to a slow drum beat. Tessa laughed. He turned around and slide them down a bit, his white boxer briefs showed and she laughed.
���See it now?��� she shook her head yes and grinned. ���Nice huh?��� he said and she fanned herself dramatically. The crowd cheered. ���You want to come over here and fix them for me girl?��� She laughed and shook her head no, ���I think she likes them off��� he said to the crowd. The crowd whistled and cheered. He pulled them up and zipped them, leaving them unbuttoned. ���Alright everyone��� one last song and we���re out!���
Ben sang STP���s Interstate Love Song and he danced with Tessa as he sang.
They walked off stage and Ben followed Tessa. Cassidy and the crew came over and she introduced them to Ben, she told them that they already knew each other. Jade stood impatiently waiting.
���Okay, so when can I see you again Tess?���
���I don���t know.���
���We play again in two weeks here but on Saturday,��� Ben smiled, ���Can you make it?���
���Yes��� but what about before then?���
���I���ll call you tomorrow. I���m pretty sure I can work something out,��� Ben kissed her. ���See you soon Tessa Ross, the rock Goddess.���
Tessa turned around and Jade and grabbed her hand. ���Let���s go.���
���I rode with them, and I���m leaving with them,��� Tessa yelled.
���Fine I���ll call Uncle John,��� Jade glared at Tessa.
���Seriously!���
She said goodbye to Cassidy. ���I���ll call you when my mother isn���t around,��� she laughed and tossed her head towards Jade.
Tessa followed Jade out to Lucas���s car and Jade opened the front door.
���Get in,��� Jade said.
Tessa sat down and turned on the music.
Lucas looked at her, ���What!���
Lucas reached in front of her and grabbed the seatbelt and buckled it. She gave him a dirty look.
���There are four of us Tessa, don���t be difficult,��� he said softly.
Jade asked Lucas to turn down the radio, ���What the hell was that Tessa?���
���That was me having fun, Jade��� and YOU screwing it up!���
���Really Tessa, ME screwing it up? You need to slow it down. Your friends, Tessa, your real friends want to help you through this.���
���I don���t need your help Jade, I���m good,��� Tessa threw herself back against the seat.
���No, you���re not! Toby has been dead for two weeks. Your Aunt died when you were there alone and you haven���t even talked to me about it, Tessa.���
���What is there to say Jade? They died, and seriously��� why now?���
���What���s that supposed to mean Tessa?���
Tessa turned on the radio, Lucas looked at her and she was looking out the window.
���Lucas turn off the radio. Tessa ��� I asked you a question, what is that supposed to mean?��� Jade snapped.
���Figure it out,��� Tessa yawned.
���No freaking games Tessa, tell me!���
���Okay, I���ve been dealing with a lot of shit lately, and I have dealt with it. Now you want to step in? I don���t think so!���
���What the hell are you talking about?���
���I really don���t want to,��� Tessa said in a snippy tone.
���I really don���t care Tessa!���
���Okay,��� she spun around. ���I go to school and hide from all of you because I don���t want to deal with this. I eat lunch in the fucking library every day while you all sit together. I come home after school and I���m alone. I go to rehearsal and come home���alone. I���ve talked to Toby about everything that I used to talk to you about and then he dies Jade, he was my support. Not you. Now I need to fill that fucking empty black feeling and now you want to step in? I���m dealing with this by myself, the way I need to, and you just keep rubbing my fresh wounds with old SHIT! Now don���t get me wrong ��� I���m happy for you. I love Tommy, but I have been on a fucking emotional rollercoaster over the past few months and I���ve done it alone. That���s the way it is and that���s the way I want it to be. Is that enough for you Jade? Was it necessary to do this in front of an audience?���
���You���re the one who has chosen not to be around us, Tessa! We���re all friends, and this is your doing.���
���Jade that���s enough,��� Tommy said softly.
���No, it���s not, Tommy,��� she said trying not to cry.
���Yes, it is. I���m fucking done with this conversation,��� Tessa sneered.
���Is this about Lucas?��� Jade asked pissed off, ���You two ended it nicely.���
Tessa laughed, ���Yeah we did, didn���t we Lucas?���
He looked over at her, ���Tessa, I���m sorry.���
���Sorry for what buddy?��� she asked. ���Sorry for wanting to share with your friends?���
���What does that mean?��� Jade asked.
���Not now Jade,��� Tommy said, ���We can talk later ��� please?���
Lucas pulled off and stopped at a fast food restaurant, he ordered food for everyone and handed Tessa the bag.
���I���m not hungry,��� Tessa snapped.
He rolled his eyes, ���You will be.���
Tessa turned the other way. A few minutes later she grabbed French fries and started to eat them. Lucas smirked at her and she smacked him.
Lucas dropped Jade and Tommy off at their houses. The radio was playing as he pulled into Tessa���s driveway. Lucas parked and turned off the lights. He sat and watched her sleep. He slowly reached out and touched her curls. He hated watching her tonight but knew what it felt like to need to just lose reality for a while. He still loved her and he knew he would forever. But the reality was he would not let her settle for what he had to offer. She deserved better than him. She deserved better than the band boy too. Fuck. That hurt tonight, he thought. He leaned his seat back and put his arm over her seat and played with her hair.
Tessa woke up and saw him sleeping and his fingers were wrapped around her hair.
���Shit,��� she said as she hit her foot against the dash.
Lucas opened his eyes. He looked at her and quickly moved his hand.
> ���Sorry,��� his eyes widened searching for her reaction.
���Thanks for the ride. You should have woke me up when we got here,��� Tessa started to open the door.
���Wait Tessa,��� he said, sitting up and grabbing her arm.
���What���s up Lucas?���
���Please shut the door, Tessa.���
���Lucas, I���m tired and really don���t think������ Tessa started.
���Don���t think Tessa; just sit,��� he closed his eyes and pleaded, ���Please.���
���Ok fine,��� she shut the door, he turned down the music.
���You���re freaking me out.���
She laughed ���Really?���
���Yes Tessa. You just lost two important people in your life and your smoking pot and acting reckless, that���s not you.���
���It is now.���
���No Tessa, you���re not thinking clearly, you���re not doing this right.���
���Then please Lucas by all means, tell me how I should be dealing with this?��� she rolled her eyes.
���Not by getting fucked up,��� he said, ���You taught me that.���
���Well, look at you now. You got through this, I will too. Are you still getting high Lucas? I could use a hookup,��� she said sarcastically.
���That shits not funny coming from you Tessa,��� Lucas snapped and took a deep breath. ���How would Toby feel?���
���You don���t get to do that, Lucas!���
���I���m sorry Tessa but if he loved you, he wouldn���t want you to be doing this to yourself.���
���Okay, I���m done with this conversation,��� she started opening the door, her eyes were on fire.
He locked the door. ���You need to talk Tessa ��� stop!���
���I don���t want to talk,��� she felt the tears starting. ���Open the door Lucas!���
���No I won���t.���
���Is this because you���re pissed about Ben tonight?��� Tessa asked trying to hurt him.
���Nope actually, it isn���t,��� Lucas answered. ���It���s about you and your loss of both of them. God��� I���m so sorry for everything you have gone through, baby.���
She sat back and looked out the window. ���Lucas ��� you���ve done worse than I���m doing to get through pain. I don���t understand how you can sit back and judge me and my actions.���
���I���m not Tessa, I just don���t want you to go through anymore,��� Lucas said softly.
���You don���t get to say that to me Lucas ��� you don���t get to act like you give a shit! You go all superhero on my ass after what you did to me? Screw you Lucas. Open the fucking door now!��� she started to cry. He didn���t open the door. ���You���re not allowed to act like you care about me and my feelings! You don���t get to act like you know me! You don���t get to send flowers to a funeral that you attended, for what reason I still don���t know. You crush me over and over again and you think you can act concerned about me. I can���t believe you!��� Tessa pulled up her legs and cried into her knees, ���You brought me into a dark room, kissed me and blindfolded me, with two ex- fucks who tried to kick my ass not once but twice and you get to act concerned? I don���t think so!���
���Tessa I���m sorry. I���m so sorry,��� he looked down.
She continued to cry, ���I had a glimmer of hope that night, that maybe you felt just a little bit as much for me as I did for you! Maybe that you didn���t want to be without me. Maybe we could���ve figured something out and you did that to me. I cannot begin to tell you how that felt Lucas. How it felt to know that you wanted to share me with those two��� animals.���
He grabbed her hand. And she pulled it away.
���Tessa I would���ve never done it,��� Lucas��� eyes began to tear.
���Why would you do that to me? Why were they there? Why would you invite me if you knew they would be there? You know what, I don���t want to know,��� she wiped her face. ���I just want to be alone.���
���Tessa baby��� don���t,��� he touched her hair.
���Lucas, I���ll never trust you again. Maybe someday I can forgive you, but I will never trust you, ever.���
���You can, Tessa,��� Lucas spoke softly, ���I would never���.���
���Lucas I miss Ann, Toby,��� she said and cried, ���and I miss you��� maybe not you but what we were together. You���re an ass! I���m handling this best way I know how.���
���Tessa I���m sorry, and I���m sorry about Jade and the people you need and why the fuck are you hiding in the library? You can���t do that anymore, ok!���
���Understand, that right now, I need to.���
He reached over the console and hugged her. He wanted to tell her what an idiot he was and how he did what he did to drive her away. He wanted her to be with someone like Toby and not a fuck up like him. She cried, and he kissed her head. He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers and looked in her eyes.
���I promised to always be your friend, you promised the same, Tessa. Maybe we shouldn���t be hanging out in your hot tub for a while but both of us are going to be okay. I���ll never do anything like that to you again.���
���Can���t blame it on the hot tub,��� she said softly remembering when he had said that to her, and they both smiled.
���You want me to walk you in?��� Lucas didn���t want to let go, but he had no other choice.
���No, I can handle it. Thanks for the ride,��� she went to open the door.
���Tessa wait,��� Lucas grabbed her hand, ���I���m��� well I just��� Tessa if you like Ben, slow down okay?���
Tessa smiled, ���I���ll take that into consideration. How���s Sadi?���
Lucas forced a smile, ���I think she���s trying, I hope she is for our baby anyways,��� he paused, ���It doesn���t matter just take care of yourself okay? I want you to be happy Tessa, always.���
CHAPTER FIVE
His phone chimed
- Lucas I think my water broke and I���m scared��� Sadi
He read it, and Tessa looked down and saw it too.
���Lucas you need to go.��� He sat frozen. ���Lucas now!���
She grabbed his phone and texted Sadi back.
- Call an ambulance and go to the hospital I���ll meet you there. You���re going to be fine��� L
She dialed Tommy���s number.
���Tommy you need to meet Lucas at the hospital, Sadi���s water broke. OK, see you in twenty minutes,��� she looked at him and was pale.
She reached over him and unlocked the doors. She got out and opened his.
���Come on inside,��� he followed her in and ran to the bathroom.
Tessa woke Alex. ���I need to drive Lucas���s car to the hospital. You need to bring me home, Sadi���s water just broke.���
Alex jumped up and threw on some clothes.
Tessa went down and grabbed a new toothbrush out of the cabinet and handed it to him, he had thrown up.
���Okay let���s go.���
He looked so frightened and she was so scared for him. She took his hand and walked him to the SUV. She opened the passenger side
door, ���Get in, Lucas.���
���You okay to drive?���
���Yep, it���s been what six hours Lucas.��� Tessa shut his door.
���Tessa if her water broke, that means she is going to have the baby… really soon, right?��� Lucas asked, and his voice cracked.
Tessa had read a lot on this and knew it would be within twenty- four hours. She also knew it was way too early.
���Lucas let���s just see when we get there. Would you please call your Mom?���
* * *
They pulled into the parking lot, and Tommy was there waiting. She jumped out and looked at Tommy. ���This isn���t good. Please stay with him.���
Lucas walked over, hugged Tessa, and kissed her head, ���Thank you.���
���Skirt off, Links. Sadi needs you to be strong. Your baby needs you to be strong,��� her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears.
Alex got out and threw the keys to Tessa. ���I���m going to stay here.���
She hugged him. ���Thank you, I love you Alex.���
Tessa got in the Jeep and left. She pulled over and grabbed her phone and went through it until she found Audrianna���s number. She called her and told her what was going on.
Audri thanked her and rolled over to wake Landon, ���Lucas needs you. Sadi���s water broke.���
���Already?��� Landon asked rubbing his eyes. ���That���s not good.��� He got up and jumped in the shower.
Audrianna had called the airport, there was a flight into Ithaca leaving in an hour. Landon would be there in two hours and she planned to drive up when the girls were in school.
* * *
Lucas walked into the room, and Sadi was lying in a hospital bed. Her Mom was there holding her hand.
���Lucas,��� Sadi cried.
Lucas walked over to her and held her hand, ���I���m here.���
The doctor walked in and did an ultrasound. The placenta had torn away, and the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Sadi would have to have surgery. If not, she could deliver the baby and go through that pain without the reward in the end. The three of them cried, and Lucas climbed in the bed with Sadi and held her until the OR was ready. The nurse came in and gave her a sedative.
