by Mj Fields
As soon as his finger touched her skin, millions of tiny little Goosebumps appeared and she arched her back.
She cleared her throat, ���Thanks,��� and stepped away from him. She grabbed her belongings and started to walk out of his room.
He lightly touched her arm, ���You can get ready in here. I���ll leave.��� Lucas grabbed his shirt and walked out.
Okay, she thought get it together you can do this, see? It���s fine. She dried her hair, applied makeup and left his room looking back reflectively before shutting the door to her first love���s room.
When she walked down the stairs, she saw Molly.
���Are we telling anyone yet?���
Molly smiled and rubbed a hand over her belly, ���Not today, tomorrow.���
���Good because if I dare say so myself ��� I know how to put a shower together,��� Tessa laughed and hugged her sister.
Tessa and Molly walked outside into the back yard. Tessa watched as Landon, Audrianna, and the girls walk in through the gate. Ally and Alexandra ran up to her and hugged her.
Tessa smiled and hugged them back, ���Princesses you have both grown.���
���Where���s Lucas?��� they asked in unison.
���I���m not sure, but I know he���s here somewhere,��� Tessa stood and smiled.
���Help us find him,��� Ally said jumping in her arms.
Alexandra grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the house.
They walked in and Lucas stood in the kitchen smiling, ���Three beautiful Princesses.���
Ally jumped down and ran into his arms.
���Tessa group hug,��� Alexandra smiled.
Tessa took a deep breath and walked towards them, ���Sounds fun.���
���Thank you,��� Lucas whispered in her ear.
���Alright, I have to excuse myself,��� Tessa curtseyed before making her escape.
Tessa brought food outside and handed a package of hamburgers to Jack and John, who manned the grill. She hugged herself literally holding herself together.
Audrianna smiled as she walked towards Tessa, ���Can I steal you away for a minute?���
Tessa followed her into the house and to the empty living room, and they sat down.
���Tessa, how are you?���
���Fine thank you. How are you?��� Tessa asked politely.
���I���m good. Tessa I know what happened with you and Lucas, and I���m sorry.���
���Well… me too,��� she felt her eyes heat up but smiled.
���Is there a way to get past this? He loves you,��� Audrianna asked.
���Well, I love him very much too, but I just can���t keep getting hurt.���
Tessa words were more self- talk than an answer. An affirmation she had repeated to herself several times in the past few weeks.
Landon walked in the room, ���He screwed up Tessa, and he���s nineteen. He���s skipping classes and not playing all that well, my son is a mess.���
���With all due respect Landon, I���m nineteen and not his parent,��� Tessa stood and started to walk out.
���Tessa, please sit. Landon ��� enough,��� Audrianna said firmly.
���Audrianna ��� he loves this girl and has proved that by the way he has changed this past year. Now he���s slipping and screwing up the biggest chance he���s ever had. I don���t feel like it���s too much to ask,��� Landon said. ���She has stuck by him through much worse. If she loves him, this should be a non- issue. He gets through this, and she won���t have a thing to worry about, ever.���
���Landon,��� Audrianna scolded.
���I wasn���t raised that way. Nice seeing you both,��� Tessa walked out the door.
Lucas walked in the house and smiled at Tessa, tears fell down her face, and she turned and ran upstairs.
Needing to be alone, she opened the door to the room she had just said goodbye to; the one she would now seek comfort in. Tessa buried her face in his pillows and cried. She couldn���t believe his father. She thought to herself: how could Lucas ever even have a chance with someone like him as a role model? Landon was an ass.
���Tessa, are you okay?��� Lucas asked from the doorway. She shook her head no. ���What���s wrong baby?��� she felt him sit next to her.
���I���m fine,��� she sat up putting her head in a pillow.
He sat behind her and hugged her.
���Please don���t touch me, Lucas,��� she said quietly.
���Why not?���
���Because you can���t.���
���I���m sorry,��� he whispered.
She leaned into him, taking comfort in his embrace, and he breathed out deeply. He didn���t move, and she didn���t either.
���What are you two doing?��� Jade asked smirking as she walked in the room.
Tessa sat up and got off the bed.
���Sorry ��� is it time for gifts?��� Tessa asked trying to smile.
���Sure,��� Jade and Tessa started walking towards the door.
Tessa turned around, and Lucas still sat on the bed looking lost.
���Come on Lucas,��� Jade grabbed his hand and pulled him up.
They walked outside, and Audrianna looked at her apologetically. Once Lucas was no longer behind Tessa, she approached her.
���I didn���t tell Lucas anything, you can tell Landon I think he���s a jackass, and I do care for his son. Maybe he could get over himself long enough to realize that it���s not my job to parent him,��� Tessa whispered.
���That’s not what I was trying to do,��� she said.
���I know, but HE was.���
Lucas watched her as Jade opened gifts; he watched Tessa laugh and smile being her perfect helpful, happy self. He didn���t mean to hurt her, it wasn���t his fault.
Almost everyone had left the party and clean up was commencing. Lucas and Ryan carried all the larger items up the stairs to the nursery. Tessa stood at the sink doing dishes, singing softly to the music playing on the radio.
���There���s a dishwasher Tessa,��� he said from behind her and reached around opening it.
���And it���s full. Wash your hands and put these away?���
Lucas did as he was asked, gladly. Jade brought in bottles and the new sterilizer. Tessa showed her how it worked and how the bottles went together.
Jade was the youngest of three, her two brothers, twins had died in a car accident four years ago. Tessa had two younger siblings and always enjoyed watching her mother care for them and grew up helping her.
���So only the parts that touch his mouth need to be sterilized, like the nipple and nipple ring��� Tessa explained.
Lucas dropped a plate, and it broke.
���Sorry,��� he said uncomfortable shaking his head.
Jade laughed. Tessa looked at her confused but kept talking.
���So I wouldn���t open the packages yet because you���re breastfeeding,��� Tessa explained.
Lucas mumbled under his breath.
���Everything okay Lucas?��� Jade asked giggling.
He shook his head yes and wiped the floor with a wet paper towel to get all the little pieces he may have missed. He started to unload the glasses from the dishwasher.
���So what are these?��� Jade asked.
���Well, there are different sizes for the different stages. Stage one is when he is brand new, when he learns to suck and is ab
le to consume more he can move up to the next size nipple,��� she explained.
Lucas dropped a glass. Jade laughed as he cleaned up the mess again.
���You guys need to buy plastic,��� Lucas said as he finished cleaning up his mess and quickly left the room.
Jade laughed.
���What���s so funny?��� Tessa asked.
���He���s a bit frustrated, every time you talked about nipples, he lost control,��� Jade said laughing so hard tears came to her eyes.
Tessa laughed too.
Lucas and Ryan were putting the crib together upstairs, a gift from Jack, Jade���s father. Tessa finished up with the dishes allowing a few to soak as Jade walked in with a basket of clothes. She and Tessa washed them in baby laundry soap, it smelled amazing. When they finished, they went upstairs to help.
They laughed as the boys tried to put it together and follow directions.
���Jade can you grab us a beer?��� Ryan asked.
���Are you twenty- one lover?���
���Today I am,��� he winked at Jade.
Jade returned with drinks, ���Here Tessa, you want some?���
���Oh no, I couldn���t I���m driving,��� she said.
���You can stay here and help me wash nipples,��� Jade laughed.
���What?��� Ryan smiled.
���Nothing,��� Lucas shot jade a dirty look.
Lucas didn���t drink, and either did Tessa. She and Jade hung the little clothes in the closet, and the boys stood back and looked at the crib.
���Look at all these clothes,��� Tessa smiled, ���and the little diapers.���
Tessa rubbed Jades belly.
���All for you little guy,��� she said and jumped. ���He kicked.���
���No way!��� Ryan said, ���He only does that for me!���
���Not anymore,��� Tessa laughed, ���You know Aunt Tessa is going to love you forever, huh buddy.���
Tessa was talking to Jades belly, he kicked again, and Jade and Tessa smiled and laughed.
���About two more weeks and we get to finally meet you,��� Tessa smiled.
Ryan kissed Jade and smiled, ���What do you think of the crib Mrs. Brooks?���
���It���s perfect.���
Jade kissed him, and Tessa smiled.
���I will leave you two alone for awhile,��� Tessa walked down the stairs, and Lucas went down to finish the dishes.
���I���ll wash, you dry?��� she asked.
Tessa picked up a big pot to set in it the sink; it slipped out of her hand and soaked them both.
Lucas laughed, ���Was that on purpose?���
���No, damn it ��� I don���t have anything else to wear. Alex took my clothes from earlier, home,��� she said laughing.
He grabbed her hand and she pulled away gently. Lucas smiled, ���Sorry ��� I have something you can wear.���
They walked in his room, and she stood at the door as he walked in his closet.
���You left these in my closet a couple weeks ago,��� he threw her underwear and a bra.
He brought out an SU tee and sweats. ���Here, you can change in the bathroom.���
���Okay, but I���ll get these back to you.���
���Tessa what am I going to do with a bag full of underwear?��� he laughed as he took off his drenched shirt.
���I don���t know,��� she said and stared at him.
He dropped his pants and grabbed his pajama pants. He noticed she was still standing there, and he looked at her confused.
���Everything alright?��� he swallowed hard.
She shook her head no.
���Tessa,��� his voice deepened.
She shook her head no again.
���Do you need help?��� he stepped cautiously towards her.
She looked in his eyes and shook her head no slowly.
���You���re sure?��� he asked walking closer.
She looked at his lips and swallowed hard and finally turned and walked in the bathroom and changed.
She walked out of the bathroom, and he was sitting on the bed.
���Tessa can we talk?���
���No,��� tears trickled down her face.
He hugged her, and she took a deep breath and pulled away. She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Breathe and stop kidding yourself. She washed her face and walked back out.
He stepped towards her and hugged her, ���I haven���t looked at you in three weeks Tessa, you look amazing.���
She melted into his embrace; she had missed him so much but had been strong and kept busy, forcing quiet times to the bare minimum. She didn���t allow herself to hurt ��� she had just pushed forward, and now she stood with his arms wrapped around her as her head rested on his shoulder.
���I love you, Tessa Ross,��� he kissed her cheek.
She felt her eyes burning and pulled back, and she whispered, ���Lucas.���
He kissed her, and she whimpered against his lips. Tears fell from her face, and he ran his tongue across them. God Tessa, walk away, she tried to tell herself, just walk away.
She breathed, and his tongue entered her mouth. She stood very still knowing if she gave in she would not ever be able to stop. Jose���s words echoed in her ears. Damn it, she thought. She pulled away abruptly.
���This can���t happen Lucas.���
���Okay,��� he stepped back a little without letting go of her. ���I���ve missed you baby, I���m so sorry. I love you.���
���Don���t,��� she whispered.
And he kissed her again; she kissed him back and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
���Lucas,��� she moaned.
He lifted her up and laid her on the bed.
���Oh God Lucas, I can���t go through this again.���
���I���ll never hurt you again, baby,��� his promise through a cascade of kisses was all she needed.
Lucas pulled her shirt up and unclasped her bra. He caressed her breasts and leaned down and took one gently into his mouth. She moaned and grabbed his hair and pulled it lightly. He spread her legs with his knees and laid between them she felt him against her. She arched her back and gasped. He lay beside her and reached down her front and under the sweats and underwear. His fingers circled her, and she gasped. Lucas entered her slowly, and her hips moved towards him. He kissed her and her head was spinning while his hand continued to pleasure her. He took her breast in his mouth and pulled her nipple lightly with his teeth.
���Oh God,��� she moaned and her whole body burst into flames of desire.
He moved down her body and pulled off the sweats and underwear and kissed her from hip to hip. He ran his tongue slowly down her center and took his time slowing teasing her and bringing her to climax.
���I love you Tessa,��� he whispered against her ear sending shivers down her spine.
He adjusted himself before pushing deep inside her over and over again.
���We have to stop��� I���m not on the pill anymore,��� she moaned.
He sat up and grabbed a condom and tore it open with his teeth and kissed her. He pulled her gently on top of him and guided her up and down on him until finally they both finished together.
Lucas smiled as he rubbed his finger across her cheek as he kissed her, ���I promise baby, I will never let us fail again.���
Tessa didn���t respond she lay in his arms not moving and barely brea
thing.
���What have I done?��� she pulled away from him and started to cry as she ran into the bathroom.
He walked in and turned her towards him, ���I���ll never hurt you again Tessa, and I love you. I can���t be without you do you��� understand? I felt like I was going to die without you. I love you I���ll never hurt you again.���
Lucas repeated his promise and hugged her, his eyes were red and he trembled. He turned on the shower, and they both got in. He lifted her onto him and kissed her as she continued to cry.
She closed her eyes, trying to understand why she had just let this happen ��� again. Only one of the million answers held true. She was without a doubt in love with Lucas Links and knew, good or bad she would love him forever. She wrapped her arms around him, ���Please don���t.���
He pulled her back and looked at her, tears rolled down his face, ���I won���t baby.���
She cried, ���I love you Lucas.���
���I won���t ever give you a reason to stop,��� he promised.
* * *
They dressed and walked down the stairs. Jade looked at them and shook her head smiling.
���All better?��� She asked.
Tessa blushed and looked away, ���Yes, Jade.���
���Are you staying, Tessa?��� Jade smiled.
She looked at Lucas, and he closed his eyes. ���Please,��� he whispered.
���Yes,��� she sat on the couch.
He sat next to her and was obviously uncomfortable. She crossed her arms in front of her and looked at the TV. Jade and Ryan went to bed.
���Do you want to talk Tessa?��� He asked.
���No,��� she said quietly.
���Okay, but I think we should,��� he said as he caressed her hand.
She said nothing and sat feeling anesthetized.
���Are you having second thoughts?��� he asked.
She shook her head yes. He sat back and put his hands on his head and breathed out deeply.
���We are both so young Lucas,��� she whispered.
���But we love each other,��� he sat up and looking intently into her eyes.
���How has that worked out for us so far?��� she asked quietly.
