by Mj Fields
She kissed him and held him as she shook. Jade was terrified that they would take him from her. She couldn���t have imagined how much someone could love something so small. He held her heart in his tiny little hands and he didn���t even know it yet. Jade stared at his face as she took deep calming breaths. He absolutely looked like Tommy. Perfect and beautiful. She closed her eyes and knew that the Lane���s hearts must be breaking because hers would never be the same if they took him from her.
���Would you like to hold him?��� She asked Thomas.
Thomas Lane was a calm, gentle man. He reminded Jade of Tommy. The way he looked at his wife, even when he knew she was wrong, love poured from his eyes.
���I would Jade, thank you,��� Thomas said.
He looked at him and smiled. ���Hello Luke, you���re beautiful, your father would sure love you.���
���He would, wouldn���t he?��� Jade fought her tears.
���He looks happy Jade, you’re going to be a great mother,��� Thomas said.
���He���s going to want to eat in about five minutes,��� she said.
���Can I feed him?��� he asked.
���No sorry, you don���t have the right parts,��� Jade blushed.
Tessa made dinner and Ryan invited them to stay. Mr. Lane accepted.
Jade held Luke close and sat next to Mrs. Lane when dinner was at the table. They both looked nervously at one another most of the time.
���I want him to know you. I won���t keep you from him,��� Jade whispered.
By the end of the meal, Mrs. Lane was holding her grandchild in her arms telling him about the son she lost. Jade looked at Thomas Lane several times and each time he smiled softly, appreciatively at the mother of his beloved son���s child easing Jade���s angst and fear, just like Tommy would have wanted.
* * *
CHAPTER SEVEN
The week went by fast. Neither Tessa nor Lucas had class on Wednesday due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Lucas and Jose spent the night at camp with Alex and Ryan. Tessa was going to Jade���s with the girls to hang out with baby Luke.
Tessa left Jade���s at five in the morning to help her mother make Thanksgiving dinner. She got out of the Jeep and threw up immediately. Ben walked out of the barn with a rope.
���Tess��� are you okay?���
���Yes,��� she wiped her mouth, ���I must still have a little bit of a bug.���
���Okay, can I get you anything?��� Concern shown in his eyes.
���No thank you, just don���t say anything, please. I don���t want everyone trying to baby me.���
He looked at her, ���Tess you sure you’re alright?���
���See just like that, I am fine, go I don���t know, hang something with that,��� she laughed pointing at the rope.
���Should I hang Lucas?��� he winked at her and she shoved him in jest.
He got in his truck and pulled out. He watched as she threw up again in his rearview mirror.
* * *
Jade brought baby Luke and Tessa did her best to stay away, she didn���t want him to get sick.
They all ate Thanksgiving dinner swapping hunter tales and chatting about Football. When the guys all went to watch football Tessa helped clean up. She packed up a bunch of left over���s, sweet potatoes, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, and turkey insisting Jade and Ryan take it home.
When most everyone had left, Tessa showered and sat on Lucas���s lap and fell asleep to him rubbing her arm lightly up and down.
Lucas, Alex, Phoebe, Ben, and Jose were watching a movie when Tessa jumped out of a sound sleep.
���You okay Baby?���
���Yes,��� she got up and ran to the bathroom, just in time.
When she was done getting sick, she walked out to the kitchen and made them all popcorn.
���Jose did you kill anything today?��� Tessa asked as she handed out bowls of popcorn.
���No,��� Jose laughed, ���I got a tree though.���
���Good job!���
They sat and talked for a while longer as she fought to stay awake. When everyone finished, she took the bowls out and washed them.
���Tess, are you feeling better? You didn���t eat much,��� Ben asked quietly setting an empty bowl by the sink.
���See what I mean,��� she laughed and shoved him with her hip.
The boys were leaving for camp and Tessa was giving Alex containers full of food. Lucas hugged her, as everyone else walked out the door.
���I miss you, baby.���
���You have fun, I���ll see you tomorrow��� she kissed him.
���I should stay,��� he hugged her tighter.
���No, go have fun with Jose, I get the weekend though,��� she smiled.
���Yes you do,��� he kissed her.
She closed her eyes, ���Go now, please.���
���I love you,��� he smiled.
���I love you, too.���
* * *
Tessa woke up in the morning, leapt from her bed, ran to the bathroom, and threw up again. Ben walked in.
���Hey, I forgot to grab,��� he stopped and looked her up and down. ���Tess are you on the pill?���
Tessa looked at him confused and threw up again.
He let out an exasperated breath, squatted down, pulled her blonde curls away from her face, and rubbed her back.
���Tessa when did you have your period last?��� Ben asked softly.
She looked back at him and wiped her mouth, stood up, washed her face, used mouthwash, and then brushed her teeth. She looked at him expressionless. Ben knew she was scared. He shook his head and walked out, leaving her alone.
Ben walked back in the house fifteen minutes later with a bag and handed it to her.
���Go do this��� now,��� he looked away quickly.
She walked in the bathroom; he sat on the couch and waited. When she walked out and looked at him. He watched her eyes fill up and she started crying.
���Oh God, Tess,��� he hugged her.
He led her to the couch, and she lay on his lap sobbing as he rubbed her back.
���You���re going to be fine,��� he said, and she looked up at him.
���I can���t do this Ben, I never thought for a minute this would be my life. You must be so disgusted by me,��� she began crying even harder.
���Tess, you don���t have a choice, and I���m not disgusted. Disappointed maybe,��� he said. ���Why aren���t you on birth control?���
���I was I stopped because��� I was done with him. We���ve used condoms since then, I was going to start as soon as I got it,��� she continued to cry.
���Oh Tess, please stop crying,��� Ben continued to rub her back.
���No, this is insane,��� she said. ���Please don���t tell anyone Ben, I don���t want Lucas to know.���
���Don���t want me to know what?��� Lucas asked standing with his arms across his chest. ���What the fuck is going on here Tessa? Is this why you didn���t want me to stay last night are you fucking Ben now? You know what I don���t fucking care, I���m out, have fun with her Ben!���
Lucas turned and started to walk out.
���This has nothing to do with me. It���s all you Links. Tess, I���m going to leave you two alone. If you need me for anything, you have my number. I love you girl, and you���re going to be fine,��� he kissed her cheek and stood up to leave.
/> ���Thank you, Ben.���
Lucas was livid as Ben pushed past him, ���Do you need to fucking tell me something Tessa?���
���Fuck you! Not when you���re acting like that,��� she ran outside.
He stormed after her, ���You can���t do that, you can���t walk away from me.���
���Oh yes, I can. I should have never stopped last time you fucked me over,��� she yelled.
���Fuck you, Tessa,��� he yelled.
She walked passed him back into the house and went in her bathroom. Lucas followed her in she sat on the floor crying and rocking herself.
He looked at her and took a deep breath, ���Tessa you need to tell me what is going on because right now I am thinking of so many different things, and I can���t do this.���
She threw him the test, she couldn���t look at him, he was going to hate her, and she couldn���t deal with it right now.
She heard him take a deep breath and then he sat next to her.
���Might be wrong right?��� he asked calmly
���And it might be right,��� she hugged her knees. ���How am I supposed to do this? How could this happen?���
���You���re nineteen and moving out in a month. You���ll figure it out,��� he rubbed her back.
���I���ll figure it out? She hissed.
���I didn���t mean it like that, baby,��� Lucas hugged her.
���Please don���t touch me!���
���Oh wow,��� he put his hands in the air.
She stopped crying when she heard Chewy bark.
���I need to get out of here.���
���Where can I take you?���
���You can go, I need to be alone,��� she snapped.
���You���re going to be FUN,��� he laughed.
���What���s that supposed to mean?��� she snapped, ���Fuck you, LUCAS!���
He shook his head and smiled, ���Can we please go somewhere and talk Tessa?���
���Fine,��� she picked up the bag, wrappers, and test.
She brushed her teeth and washed her face and walked out of the bathroom.
���Hi guys ��� Lucas and I will be back soon,��� she breezed past Kendall and Jake and out the door.
They drove to the park and got out and she started walking. They sat in the pavilion.
���What is there to talk about?���
���I don���t know,��� he sat behind her on a picnic table.
���Okay��� so I fucked you after a pretty nasty break up and now I���m a fucking teen statistic. That about covers it right?���
He laughed, ���Sure Tessa, and hey I���m on a full football scholarship and kicking ass I got a girl knocked up does that cover it? Oh, wait that���s three for me.���
���Four if you count the fake one,��� she looked up at him.
He hugged her, ���What a mess.���
���Yeah, I guess so,��� she touched her belly and cried.
He hugged her. ���So that would be next summer right?���
���Yep,��� she tried to calm her breathing
���We can do this Tessa; you���re going to be a great mom. You can stay home until she���s in school, I can work, we can have more,��� he smiled as he kidded with her.
���Lucas you’re finishing school and I���m going to work.���
���That���s not going to happen,��� he laughed and kissed her.
She stood up and paced back and forth, ���Yes it is, you can work summers. We can figure it out, just spend money wisely. I���m still going to school.���
Tessa stopped and put her hands on her hips.
���Let���s not fight about this Tessa. We have time to figure it out,��� he grabbed her and hugged her.
���You���ll finish at SU and play football, or I’m not doing this.���
He laughed rolling his eyes, ���Oh ��� okay.���
���What���s so funny?���
���You and your crazy ass hormones,��� he grinned and looked at her breast, ���I can���t wait till those things get bigger.���
���How am I going to explain this to my parents?���
���I can tell them,��� he offered.
���You���re going to have a hard enough time telling yours��� she smiled a bit.
���Yeah, thank God Mom lives with a shrink,��� he laughed.
���Oh Lucas, will it ever be easy?���
���Sure, after reading those books you gave me and thinking about my youth it should be in about twenty years,��� he laughed and hugged her. ���See Tessa Ross, we���re meant to be together, forever.���
She hugged him and laughed, ���How are you going to go a lifetime without a blow job?���
He smiled, ���How are going to survive a lifetime without giving one?���
���Do you think I LIKE doing that?��� She asked annoyed.
���Yeah, I do��� he laughed harder.
She loved happy Lucas and oddly he seemed very happy, ���Can we wait for twelve weeks to tell people?���
���Yes, I think that���s a good idea.���
���Good, can you stay with me tonight?��� She asked holding his hand as they walked to the Jeep.
���Depends,��� he gave her a shit ass grin.
���On what?���
���Oh, I don’t know,��� he looked down and ran his finger along her lower lip.
���What if I throw up on you?���
���You can lick it up baby.���
She glared at him and stomped ahead of him, ���No then.���
���Your ass looks fine Tessa Ross,��� he yelled from behind her.
���It���s going to look a lot bigger in a few months,��� she yelled back.
���That���s alright with me; I���ll work it off you after.���
She turned around and looked at him, he ran up and picked her up and kissed her, ���God I have missed you��� and now ��� you are stuck with me forever.���
���I guess I am,��� she said quietly in his ear.
He pulled back a little and looked into her eyes, ���You alright with that Tessa?���
���Don���t hurt me Lucas, please don���t hurt me again,��� Tessa buried her head in his chest and at that moment she understood why Sadi had made the hardest decision anyone ever would have to.
���I promise. So I get a say in the apartment now?���
���No.���
���Oh yes, I do we���re not living in the hood with a baby,��� he laughed. ���And it will be at least three bedrooms.���
���Why three?��� She asked, ���You���re not going to sleep with me anymore?���
���Of course I am. We need a guest room, I���m sure we will have grandparents and siblings around. Tessa, she is going to be beautiful��� he said and kissed her.
Tessa cried, ���I���m so sorry. I can���t believe this happened. My God, I hated Sadi for trapping you and now I feel like���I didn���t mean for this to happen Lucas. I hope you know that I would never. DAMN IT! Of course, I wouldn���t ���I can���t do this. This is not cool, this is ��� I���m sorry Lucas.���
���Hey, if anyone should be sorry
it���s me,��� he rubbed her cheek and kissed her again. ���Tessa, I���m very okay with this, I love you.���
���I love you.���
���I have a question Tessa, but I don���t want to argue or fight right now okay?��� he asked.
She shook her head, ���Go ahead.���
���Why did you go to him, and not me?���
She looked up at him. ���Lucas, I didn���t, I would never. He saw me get sick when I came home yesterday morning; he was walking out of the barn with a rope. This morning I threw up, and he walked in,��� she told him the story. ���I said ���don���t tell Lucas��� because I was scared. I would���ve told you Lucas, I just didn���t want to disappoint you.���
���You are more perfect every day. Listen ��� you need to stop trying to take care of me. I want to take care of YOU Tessa and our child.��� Lucas hugged her, and she cried.
They went to the drug store, and he bought vitamins and folic acid. He came out and got in the SUV and handed her the bag. Tessa smiled, closed her eyes, and sat back.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lucas played well in his game. As always Tessa waited outside the locker rooms. He came out and walked past Jenny and crew and looked grinned at Tessa.
���Hey, rock star,��� Tessa kissed him.
Lucas���s eyes were smoldering,
���Hey baby,��� he kissed her again and gently grabbed the back of her head.
���I need you now,��� he said in a deep voice.
Her eyes widened, and she smiled, ���Right here?���
He picked her up and carried her to the Jeep as she laughed and held tightly to his bulging biceps.
He drove to the dorm in silence. He rubbed her hand with his the entire time. When they arrived, he jumped out. He opened her door and took her hand. The ride to his floor was a silent. The elevator door opened, and they walked quickly towards his room. Tessa closed her eyes, she was worried and even for a moment thought he was going to tell her he wasn���t sure about them anymore. That he was going to fuck her and then confess that there was more that she didn���t know about Jenny or maybe even more girls. She was afraid, terrified ��� that her insecurity, her weakness for him, made him look at her different like she was no different than Sadi or any other girl that his whole life had given him whatever he needed, wanted just to have him. Afraid that he would treat her the same way he had Sadi. That for the rest of her life, she was going to be hurt because like everyone, she had failed Lucas.
