by Mj Fields
���You���re just jealous she likes me more,��� Harper laughed.
���Yeah, that���s it,��� CJ laughed.
���Actually, I love all of you equally. And your father and I���ll be a little more ���hands off��� from now on. Harper will be overseas and Tomas will be going with her. You should both be happy that we have let you have freedom.���
���Mom, Matthew and I know we have a tail, so please��� just stop right there,��� Matthew laughed and so did Maddox, ���You too?���
Maddox sat back, ���I have a team. One I have hired, and one I am not supposed to know about.��� Brody looked at him in shock and Maddox laughed, ���Did you think I wouldn���t notice?���
���I don���t know how to reply to that,��� Brody looked away, and everyone laughed.
���One���s not enough?��� CJ asked.
���Dad doesn���t like my guy,��� Maddox smiled.
���He doesn���t, does he?��� London laughed.
���No,��� Maddox smiled broadly at her.
���He���s an idiot,��� Brody raised his eyebrow.
���He���s accountable to me,��� Maddox looked at Brody, ���And I have not argued about your guy tailing me. I know it makes you feel better.���
���You could move home, that would make us all feel better,��� London grumbled.
���I am nearly twenty, London������
���And shacked up with Satan,��� London scowled.
Harper laughed out loud and quickly covered her mouth and looked at Maddox, ���Sorry.���
���She is my roommate, London,��� he did not look away from Harper.
���A girl roommate, and not a very nice one either,��� London scowled at him.
���Hey, London������ Brody said quietly.
���What? She isn���t. She doesn���t smile, or laugh, or������
���Some people are not as crazy as we are London,��� Harper crossed her eyes at London.
London smiled a little, ���Would you want your brothers��� shacking up with Satan?���
���London, she is my roommate������
���And your keyboard player, and she is always with you, and I hate her,��� London stood up, and Harper grabbed her hand.
���I would be happy for Matthew or CJ if they found someone, even if it were Satan, just as long as that made them happy.���
Emma stood up, ���Let���s me and you go for a walk.���
���No. I���m sorry Maddox,��� London sat down on Harper���s lap.
���London I miss you too, every day. It���s all part of growing up.���
���Sure������
Harper kissed London���s forehead and looked at the clock: it was one in the morning. She had fallen asleep, trying to come up with every reason under the sun for London to accept Maddox���s decision; to make it alright for both London and Maddox. She understood why she felt the need to do it for London, but hated that she felt that she needed to for Maddox, as well.
She walked out onto the patio of the house her family owned; next to their own. It had been her great-great-aunt Ann���s house. The place her parents met and fell in love. She walked out into the fenced in lawn that she had played in since she was a baby and opened the gate leading to the beach. She stood on the shore looking over the ocean. She looked up at the moon and then closed her eyes. All the reasons she had told London to accept Maddox���s choices faded in the moonlight. The way he looked at her when he was responding to London was etched in her mind. His blue eyes appeared guarded, and they probably were, but the way she allowed them to pierce her heart made her angry. She was not a stupid girl needing and seeking his attention. She was a woman now, and she was proud of herself for who she was and who she would become. She had worked hard and would continue her focus on school.
���Hey,��� the hair on the back of her neck stood up in response to his voice.
She looked up and smiled, ���Hi.���
He sat down next to her, ���Thanks for all that tonight.���
���Well it was for her, but you���re welcome. I hope it helps.���
They sat in silence looking over the water. It was becoming uncomfortable, ���Well��� goodnight.���
Harper started to stand.
���Wait, just���. just wait a minute alright? Sit and talk for just a minute?���
���Maddox, I really am tired. We can talk in the morning.���
���I won���t be here, I have an interview.���
���Okay shoot.���
���I heard everything you said to London in that room.���
���Okay.���
���The walls are paper thin.���
���Okay. If I upset you I���m sorry.���
���That���s three times, Harper, since I have been here you have said sorry--- three times.���
���And the only thing I can think of in response to that is ������
���Don���t you dare,��� he smiled at her and looked into her eyes, ���Just don���t.���
The way he looked at her is the same way he did at prom before he kissed her. He was even more beautiful right now then he was that night. His brown hair was a bit longer than the short cut he had at the time, his eyes just as sparkling blue. The difference was he looked relaxed and not on edge
���I won���t,��� Harper finally looked away, ���I should get inside.���
���I need to say a few things to you, if you would just give me a few more minutes.��� She sat back and looked up at the sky.
���Harper, I���ve missed you.���
Oh please don���t, she thought to herself as her chest began to burn and the heat moved to her throat.
���The morning I woke up and you were gone, I fell apart. I was left with no answers and when I tried to call you and you didn���t answer, I threw my phone at the wall. It took two weeks to finally ask for it to be replaced. I was afraid I would call you and hurt you again like I did that night��� and it killed me. I looked you up on those social media pages and there was nothing. It was like you went in hiding. Which I understood and I certainly deserved.���
���I was in South Africa,��� Harper whispered.
���I know that now. I also know that you have done four fundraisers a year since then to raise money to help foundations all over the world, your focus on women and children. I know that every year at the end of the summer you still come here with your family. I know that there has not been a holiday or birthday that you have not sent gifts or called London or Lexington. I know that you send birthday cards every year to all of us. I know that you have not changed from the girl I knew two years ago. I know that every time I have seen your picture on your families Christmas card or a photo of you from a party, or an event��� I fall for you again.���
Harper didn���t say anything. She didn���t know how to respond.
���Harper, I������
���Maddox don���t, whatever it is you are going to say next, just don���t.���
���I need to.���
���Well maybe you should listen to what my two years have been like.���
���I would like that, Harper.���
���After your show I felt dirty. Like I was���filthy. After that last night, I was disgusted with myself,���
���Please let me finish.���
���Alright.���
���I had to hear that song at every party I attended, which hurt. I had to watch music award show���s that you performed in, without showing an emotion because I���ll share that with no one. I stopped listening to the radio because back then it hurt so badly. I can’t watch TV, or MTV, or even the news without seeing you and whatever girl you left clubs with, or who popped out of your limo. That hurt, so I stopped. I found out about your girlfriend and you moving in together from my mother. She told me, so I didn���t hear it from someone else. Even avoiding all that I did, I still heard every time you made the news. Whether from a friend, or sitting in the library studying, it hurt. I moved out of the dorms and got an apartment and freaking Netflix, so I didn���t have to see or hear about you. I knew you were healthy and safe. That was my agreement with my mother. Tell me if he is not okay. That���s it.���
���I������
���No, please just give me a minute.��� He nodded his head in agreement, ���That last night took a lot of getting over. But I did. I���m good right now, Maddox, and you���re happy and living with someone and������
���Harper, she���s just my roommate.���
���Fine, whatever, I���m happy for you. That���s the point. I finally forgave myself for what happened in Liverpool and������
���What happened, Harper? I honestly do not remember, and it has haunted me since. I swear I have dreamt up this story in my head, a vision, just to stop me from thinking I hurt you badly enough that you left me in the middle of the night.���
���Maddox, I can’t travel down that road again.���
���Please Harper, I need this. You don���t know what ������
���You���re fine, Maddox. Neither of us needs to go back there.���
���Bullshit!���
Harper looked at him and shook her head, ���Don���t, please don���t yell at me or be angry or������ He watched the tears falling from her eyes and grabbed her and hugged her tightly and groaned softly when she rested her head on his shoulder.
���With you in my arms, Harper, I could never yell or be angry. In my head, I repeat the words you have said to me in the past when I needed to feel like this. I have not felt this calm or this at peace since that night at your camp. You just make everything right for me.���
���You wouldn���t feel that way if you remembered what had happened.���
���You should let me make that decision, Harper. But I can promise you, nothing could make me stop feeling what I do for you. I have tried to stop the dreams of you and the nightmares of losing you.��� Harper started to sit up, ���Please don���t, please stay.���
���You came into the room and stood over me. I woke up, and you said very beautiful things to me. You held my hand to your heart and then I did the same������
���We kissed, you allowed me to touch you.��� She nodded her head yes. ���I kissed every perfect part of you?��� Her body quivered, and he held her tighter, ���I claimed your body with my mouth and hands. You did the same. And I woke up, and you were gone. It���s my dream, the dream I have of you all the time.���
���I showered and grabbed condoms out of the bathroom, where you told me they were. I came out, and you told me no. You pushed my hands away from you and told me no. I have been ashamed of myself for letting it happen when you were drunk ever since. When I say I am sorry������
���Harper, stop.���
���No, after all you���ve gone through. I knew you were drunk. It disgusts me.���
���I must have been out of my mind. My old nightmares were of saying no. Of things long before you, Harper. Since that night, I have only woken up trembling because you were gone.���
���You have to stop saying things like that to me, Maddox. I fall for it every time.���
���I���ll catch you, Harper, and never let you go.���
���No, no, no, no, no,��� Harper pulled away.
���Okay, I���m sorry. Just don���t leave���please?��� Maddox���s voice mimicked a prayer.
���You sleep around, you live with someone and you are a freaking rock star. I���m a good girl,��� Harper scowled.
Maddox tried not to smile at her, ���You are not only a good girl, Harper, but you are my good girl.���
���What makes you think���?���
���I don���t think, I know. You belong with me, to me������
���Really, you smug������
���Not smug, Harper, it���s the truth and you know it. You feel it.��� Harper looked away from him and stood up as he did too, ���You don���t want to leave, Harper, you feel the same way I do. You hear my voice and everything inside of you comes alive.���
���What makes you think���?���
���You can’t even listen to my music when I���m across the ocean because it calls to you. The sound of my voice makes you burn inside.��� He walked towards her, and she held her hand out telling him to stop, ���When we kiss, every part of your body wants me. When we finally do this, Harper, you���ll never want me to go away. You���ll stop fighting me, and you will never want another.��� He took her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles as she closed her eyes. ���When we���re not together, you���ll still remember my touch, my taste, and the desire you have for me that is slowly burning deep inside of you right now.��� Harper���s heart beat faster. He pulled her into his arms, his lips touched hers softy. ���I am going to make it, so you never forget me, so you can never walk away from me again.���
���I don���t think������
���Then don���t.��� He kissed her harder and lifted her up pulling her legs around his waist, ���I want you, I have since the first time I saw you. You won���t say no, because you feel it too.��� He cupped her ass and rubbed hard. ���You���re going to burn from me being so deep inside of you���and you will take it, every inch of me.��� He kissed her hard on the mouth and walked towards the water. He reached behind her and pulled her shirt over her head.
���This is a bad idea,��� Harper said softly between kisses.
���Does this feel bad, Harper?��� he bit her neck lightly.
���Oh God.���
He laid her on the beach and continued kissing her.
���We should stop,��� she gasped when he began kissing her inner thighs, ���Oh Maddox, please stop.���
���Give me one good reason, Harper,��� his lips cascaded across her.
���Maddox stop, please stop,��� Harper sat up and looked sadly at him, ���This is too much, it took too long to stop������
Maddox sat on his knees in front of her, his eyes dark with desire, ���You are mine, Harper.���
���You live with someone, Maddox. I���I cannot be one of many. I won���t be.���
���She���s my roommate, that���s all. I haven���t had sex with her.���
Confusion shown in her eyes, ���I don���t understand.���
���Jazz is someone I knew a long time ago. From before, her name was������
���Jane?���
���Do you know this from the song?���
���No, Maddox. I told you, I don���t liste
n to the radio.���
���Right, because my voice calls to you, let���s get back to that,��� Maddox took her hand and kissed it and held it to his heart, ���Feel this Harper������
She pulled her hand away, ���Let���s get back to Jane.���
���If that���s what you need.���
���You called me Jane. That night in Liverpool, you called me Jane.���
He looked at her, ���I must have been having a nightmare.���
���I don���t think that���s it, Maddox.���
���Care to explain?���
���You care about her.���
���Of course I do,��� he snapped, ���I care about all of the������
���Maddox let me make this easier. I don���t want this. I have a lot going on next year, and I need ������
���You need me, Harper!���
Harper looked down and whispered, ���We are going to fight.���
He lifted her chin, ���Tell me what you need from me to make this happen.���
���This? Make this happen?���
���That���s not what I meant.���
���How many people have you been with, Maddox?���
���Well that all depends on what your definition of been with is.���
���How many people have you kissed?���
���Three,��� he looked at her and raised his eyebrows as if to say, HA!
���I have kissed one.���
���I know this, what���s the point here, Harper?���
���How many people have you touched?���
���Again the answer is dependent on������
���Fine if we are going to be childish about this. How many breasts have been in your hands? And before you need clarification������
���Lots. My fingers have been in a lot of wet������
���God---not so descriptive, please,��� Harper covered her ears.
He took her wrists in his hands and pulled them away, ���Bullshit you want answers I am giving them to you. After every show I get a blowjob. I could have several, but������
