by Mj Fields
You never should have loved me, and then you���d never leave me, standing outside in the rain, feeling all the hurt and pain. You never should have loved me, and then you couldn���t leave my head, heavy from, all noise, looking for ways to fill your void. You never should have loved me, you never should have trusted, I could be the one for you, the one who would be worthy and true. You never should have loved me, you never should left me crying out in the night, waking to life���s endless fight.
The song ended, and Matt walked on stage, ���Maddox Hines, it has been a very long time, great to see you.���
���Good to see you, too.���
���What an amazing two years it has been for you and your band, Burning Souls.���
Maddox waved the band over, ���It has been unbelievable.���
���I always thought your father���s music was deep, must be genetic huh?���
���Possibly,��� Maddox laughed.
���So the United States tour starts off at Madison Square Garden in just a couple of days, how amazing is that?���
���It���s amazing,��� Maddox laughed.
���So,��� Matt looked over at Brody and smiled, ���Do you get as angry as your father does when someone asks personal questions?���
���I guess it depends on the question.���
���Jazz and you live together?���
���We are roommates and friends.���
���That���s it?���
Maddox looked at him and raised his eyebrow, ���Yes.���
Matt laughed, ���So are you dating anyone?���
���I have a girlfriend.���
���Does she have a name?���
���She does, and she has two arms, and two legs,��� Maddox smiled.
���How long have you been together?��� Maddox laughed.
���I don���t know how to answer that.���
���No?���
���She has been with me forever, in here,��� Maddox put his hand on his heart.
���You just broke some hearts here, Maddox.���
���As long as I never break hers again I really don���t give a fu������
���Like father like son,��� Matt looked at the camera, ���Thank you to Burning Souls, we will be back in two.���
The band signed autographs and made their way to the waiting limo. Jazz sat close to Maddox and grabbed his hand. He smiled at her and looked out the window, ���You did great today, and I think I even saw you smile, Jazz.���
���I smiled because you���re back,��� she whispered, ���It was hard to sleep in the hotel when you weren���t there.���
���But you did it,��� Maddox smiled at her.
���Please don���t make me do it again, ever.���
���Jazz, we need to talk about something.���
���Harper?���
���Yeah��� Harper.���
���Is she your girlfriend?���
���Yes.���
���Why?���
���You know how I feel about her.���
���But you will sleep with me when we are home?���
���Jazz, we���ve talked about this. We can’t anymore okay?��� He saw her normally emotionless face flash anger and then she closed her eyes, and it was gone.
���You like me to touch you.���
���We have talked about that too.���
���Right.���
���Jazz, I want you to meet her someday.���
���No, I don���t need to.���
���She knows about you.���
Jazz turned and looked at him, ���What did you tell her?���
���She knows how we met, the first time. She knows we are only roommates, not dating. She knows we have shared a bed.���
���She is okay with that?���
���Not from this point forward.���
���Hmm, then you will have to tell her she can’t be your girlfriend.���
���I won’t be telling her that, Jazz.���
���Then I will, so you don���t have to.���
���No, that���s not going to happen. I love her Jazz, very much.���
���Okay. We can all work it out, but you can���t leave me.���
Maddox sat back trying to figure out the best way to do this. For a year, he had told her ���no,��� when she tried to seduce him. He even continued hooking up with occasional women and she acted as if it were a non-issue. She���d had sexual experiences with others. He had made it clear that they would be friends. He would help her get on her feet, so she no longer had to sell her body in order to feed herself. He had a piano instructor come to his home and teach her to play. She had learned quickly, and he often caught her playing in the middle of the night. She was so proud of herself, like a child who had learned to tie their shoes. That was the first time he caught her playing. It was then that she kissed him. He pulled away, and it killed him to see the excitement diminish from her face. He smiled and said he was sorry and kissed her very quickly on the lips. Her excitement returned, and they sat at the piano for hours as she played. Jazz had her first nightmare the very first night they had moved into the house. He went into her room, and it was torn apart. She was crouched in the corner, naked and rocking herself back and forth, her hands covering her ears. He held her and rocked her until she fell asleep just as she had done for him years ago.
The limo pulled up to the hotel, and they got out. They rode the elevator to the twelfth floor in silence. The doors opened, and Zach was pacing. ���Everything okay, Zach?���
Maddox asked taking the room key out of his pocket.
���NO! What the hell, how could you keep this from me?���
Jazz looked at Maddox and walked behind him, ���Let���s go in the room and we���ll talk, Zach.��� Zach looked at Jazz, ���Hey Jazz.���
���Hey Zach.��� She was confused.
���How are you?���
Maddox opened the door, and they walked in the suite. ���What the hell happened in here?���
Jazz looked at him, ���I couldn���t sleep.���
���So you trashed the place?���
She looked at him and walked passed him into the bathroom.
Zach looked at Maddox, ���What the fuck are you doing?���
���Who told you?���
���Doesn���t matter, but you should���ve!���
���She is scared Zach, I told her I wouldn���t������
���Look around Maddox, look at this mess.���
Maddox looked around and saw curtains pulled from the windows, bedding everywhere, lipstick drawings on the wall of stick figures, the couch cushions scattered everywhere, the mini bar was empty and the small bottles smashed everywhere.
���Do you know why this happened, Maddox?���
���She couldn���t sleep.���
���Is this normal? Does this happen often?���
���Not for a long time. She used to wake up and flip out. She doesn���t anymore; well��� she hadn���t in a very long time.���
���What changed that caused her to stop, Maddox?��� Maddox looked at him and said nothing, ���And you really think you can drag Harper into this?���
Jazz came out wrapped in a small towel, and looked
at them, ���I need sleep. Maddox?���
���Jazz, we just talked about this.���
���I. Need. Sleep.���
���Then go,��� Maddox glared at her.
���Come with me.���
���Jazz, I am going back to my family for a couple days, until the concert. You can do this.���
She looked shocked, ���You���re leaving me for them?���
���Jesus Christ, Maddox, see!��� Zach snapped.
���No, Zach, she really is fine, aren���t you Jazz?���
She rolled her eyes, dropped the towel and turned and walked away.
When the bedroom door closed Zach looked at Maddox, ���You expect her to be fine after you have been banging her for two fucking years, Maddox?���
���We have never had sex.���
���Then explain what that was.���
���She likes to be held so she can fall asleep.���
���Butt ass naked?!���
���Sometimes.���
���You don���t see how wrong that is?���
���It comforts her, Zach. Don���t fucking judge unless you have been there, buddy.���
���What else?���
���That���s none of you���re������
���I���ll tell him, Maddox,��� Jazz walked out naked and picked up the towel and covered herself. ���Sometimes I need him to touch me, would you like to know where?���
���No Jazz, I can probably figure that out.���
���And sometimes I wake him by touching him, should I tell you������
���Jazz, enough!���
���No Maddox, I think everyone should know. Especially Harper. That���s the right thing to do, right Zach?���
���Jazz you need someone to talk to. Someone who can help you.���
���NO!���
���Zach— you need to leave.���
���No Maddox, you can’t do this alone. Jazz, he still has a lot to deal with too. You both need support and I am not trying to be an asshole here, but this is like two toddlers trying to raise each other.���
���Fuck you,��� Jazz lunged at him and he caught her arms.
���Enough, that���s enough! You go do whatever you need to do. Surge and I will take care of this.���
���Don���t leave, Maddox, let me go!��� Jazz kicked at Zach.
���Get the hell out of here, Maddox!���
���I can���t leave������
���GO!���
���Don���t leave me with him; he is no better than all the others. Different women all the time, he������
���Zach, let go of her. I got this, just give me a few.���
���Maddox, you have no idea what you are doing here. You are not helping her. And you certainly are not helping you!���
���We don���t need you or anyone else!���
Maddox grabbed the towel and took her in his arms, ���Zach, clearly I need help, but not right now. Come on Jazz, let���s get you dressed.���
Maddox sat on the bedroom floor next to Brody. ���Dad, I ������
���It���s fine Maddox. We move forward and find a way to get you through this.���
���And her Dad?���
���We can try Maddox, but it���s not my priority.���
���She is mine. I brought her into this. I thought she was getting better. I thought she was fine.���
���Maddox, you are responsible to you. We will do whatever we can for her, but you can���t do this.���
���I can���t walk away.���
- Jazz had a breakdown. I can���t leave her now. Not because I don���t want to be with you. I want to see you so badly. I screwed up, and I need to fix it. Dad and a few other people are going to help with it. I get that I can���t do this alone���MH
- Okay���HA
- Don���t be mad, please���MH
- Not mad���HA
- But not real talkative���MH
- Busy, lots of things to do before everyone arrives���HA
- OK, I���m sorry���MH
- No big deal���HA
Maddox read the text and sat back frustrated.
���Are you mad at me?���
���No Jazz, we just need to figure it out.���
���Are you leaving?���
���No, not today.���
���Is she mad at you?���
���No.���
���Why?���
���Because she���s Harper.���
���What does that mean?���
���I can���t explain it.���
���Does she love you?���
���Yes.���
���How do you know?���
���She has accepted me always, Jazz. Flaws and all.���
���Just like you have me.���
Maddox looked up from the paper and into her light brown eyes. ���It���s different.���
���Why?���
���Because she isn���t like us, she������
���That���s why you don���t want me? Because I���m a whore?���
���Jazz, it���s not like that. It never was like that.���
���Okay. Go to her.���
���Are you going to trash the place again?���
���No, I don���t think so.��� Her voice was soft and sincere.
���I���ll stay today, and go in the morning. Zach and Dad have a doctor coming for������
���No.���
���Jazz, we need to get you through the nights.���
���Will you be drugging me?���
���No, it���s for anxiety. Not a drug, a pill to help you relax. They think it will help you.���
���Did you take them?���
���No, I had Dad and Emma and������
���I had you.���
���We will always be friends Jazz, and we work together and������
���We live together,��� she reminded him.
���Right now yes, but not always.���
���Because of Harper?���
���Because it���s time, Jazz. It���s time for you to be happy with you, and maybe find someone to love.���
���I love you.���
���I love you to Jazz, like family which lasts forever okay? Just no more trashing places or touching me.���
���Because of Harper.���
���Because it���s time, Jazz.���
���I want to meet her.���
���Why?���
���Because it���s Harper.���
���What does that mean, Jazz?���
���I have heard of her for years. Maybe she will love me too.���
Maddox smiled, ���I know she would.���
���Okay, when?���
���After we see a doctor and figure this out.���
���Okay.���
Jazz was sleeping comfortably in the adjacent room. She had been prescribed an anti-anxiety medication and given her first physical in many, many ye
ars. She did not argue when they drew blood, she didn���t even flinch. The next morning she didn���t wake easily. She was cranky and nervous. She cried when he said he was going to leave and that Surge was staying with her. She begged him to stay just one more day, and after the concert she promised he could go be with Harper. She begged to meet her first, and she knew once she saw her, she would be okay.
- I have to stay one more night. Tomorrow night, come to the concert with Dad and Emma���MH
- I���ll see if I can���HA
- Do better than that���MH
- I���ll try���HA
- I miss you���MH
There was no immediate response
- Harper, I miss you���MH
Again nothing
- Well then fuck it���MH
He tossed his phone and laid in his hotel bed.
- Maddox I was talking to my parents���HA
- Sorry���MH
- It���s fine Maddox���HA
Her phone rang, and she smiled when she saw his number. ���Hello.���
���Sorry I just thought you were blowing me off.���
���I understand the feeling,��� Harper giggled, and he laughed.
���Not at all, Harper. I just didn���t expect her to act like this.���
���I���m sorry you have to go through it.���
���My own damn fault.���
���Live and learn right?���
���Yeah, I suppose.���
���Are you excited for tomorrow night?���
���That all depends.���
���Oh yeah, on what?���
���Will you be in attendance?���
���Hmm, I haven���t decided������
���Oh really?���
���Do you think I should?���
He laughed, ���Yes, I do.���
���Okay then, I will.���
���They agreed?���
���With Emma and Brody oh and Clive, and Surge. Who is Surge?���
���My Tomas.���
���Oh I see,��� Harper laughed, ���Do you ever wonder what it���s like to be normal?���
���What do you mean?���
���No tail. I mean it���s great to know you���re safe but really what is it like to be invisible just once?���