by Mj Fields
���Aunt Jade, I don���t think I can handle another embarrassing conversation tonight,��� Harper blushed furiously.
���Oh please do tell,��� Jade clapped.
Tessa laughed, ���May I?���
���Mom seriously?���
���It was the sweetest thing ever Harper, well except for him trying to hide the excitement��� that was incredibly uncomfortable,��� Tessa laughed.
���But does the rock star hottie carry a big instrument?��� Jade growled and they all laughed.
Harper covered her face and laughed at them while Tessa reenacted one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. She ended her story with what he had said.
���How do you not ooze when he���s around?��� Jade grinned.
���Aunt Jade,��� Harper scolded her.
���Look Harper Ann, how the hell do you think you got here? Why do you think I have so many kids? It���s a part of life,��� Jade said as if it were no big deal.
���The things he said are so sweet Harper, he seems incredibly romantic,��� Phoebe scowled at Jade.
���He writes music, he told me he thinks about me when he writes,��� Harper���s voice was sweet and soft.
���You love him?��� Phoebe smiled at her.
���Too much, I love him too much,��� Harper said sadly.
Maddox cleared his throat and they all looked back at him leaning on the doorway, ���I hope I���m not interrupting.���
Harper looked up and saw his face was red, ���Hi.���
���Hello. You are supposed to be asleep,��� he smiled as he walked towards her.
���Damn,��� Jade whispered and Tessa laughed.
���You won���t think its funny Tessa when I tell you that your mother insists you take this pill so that you���ll get some sleep as well.��� Maddox walked to Harper���s side of the bed and held out the medicine and opened the bottle of water, ���Open.���
Harper opened her mouth and he put one of the pills on her tongue and handed her the water, ���Swallow.���
���Holy shit,��� Jade whispered and Tessa giggled again.
Maddox looked over at Tessa, ���Open,��� he smirked and Tessa reached for the pill.
���No way Mom, he said open,��� Harper smiled.
���Yeah Tessa, he said open,��� Jade laughed.
Tessa rolled her eyes and did as she was asked.
���Good girls,��� Maddox looked back at Harper, ���One more for you. Open,��� Maddox pursed his lips so he would not laugh and Harper took her pill.
���What about me?��� Jade giggled and opened her mouth.
���Leave him alone,��� Phoebe reached over and smacked her arm.
Maddox smiled and kissed Harper���s forehead, ���Good night, I love you.���
Harper���s eyes widened and her face turned red.
���I don���t know how you could possibly be embarrassed by that, growing up around all of this,��� Maddox laughed at Harper, ���And I warned you already, stupid love, hand holding, kisses, the whole nine yards, and then some,��� he whispered in her ear as he started to stand.
���Goodnight Maddox,��� Jade said in a sultry voice.
Maddox laughed as he left the room.
���Wow,��� Phoebe smiled at Harper.
���Yeah, wow,��� Harper smiled back and yawned.
���Your head must be spinning a mile a minute, Harper Ann,��� Jade smiled at her.
Harper smiled and nodded.
���When will you be getting married?��� Phoebe asked still smiling.
���I don���t know,��� Harper looked at Tessa.
���Whenever she wants. You two don���t mind if we get some sleep? You don���t have to leave,��� Tessa let out a deep breath as she looked around the room.
���We���ll be downstairs,��� Jade kissed Tessa and Harper and she and Phoebe walked out of the room.
Tessa lay down and Harper and she held hands again looking blankly at the ceiling.
���Mom������
���Sorry Harper, I���m so sorry,��� Tessa whispered.
���I hate that he is gone, I hate that he died because of me,��� Harper whispered.
���He didn���t die because of you. He died because some crazy man wanted him to hurt. A man who never even met him, hated him because he was a good man. A good man who loved us so much,��� Tessa whispered. ���You have a good man now, Harper. Maddox adores you.���
���I���m not always that nice to him,��� Harper whispered.
���You two have gone through a lot,��� Tessa squeezed her hand, ���Your dad liked him.���
���How do I get through this Mom, Dads gone and my baby���?���
���I am going to tell you how, Harper. You���re not going to act like it didn���t happen. You���re not going to get angry at yourself, you���re going to share your feelings. Losing a child at any stage is awful.���
Something in Tessa���s voice left her with a question she could not ignore.
Harper turned and looked at her, ���Have you���Mom had you lost a baby?���
Tessa smiled sadly and turned towards her, ���This doesn���t get discussed again alright? Too many people would be hurt.���
Harper shook her head up and down, ���Of course.���
Tessa closed her eyes, ���I was nineteen.���
���So it wasn���t Daddy���s?���
���No.���
���Lucas���s?���
Tessa shook her head yes, ���Right after high school we had been broken up for a while and got back together. I got pregnant. Lucas was so excited and I was devastated. I was rotten for a while and then happy. The miscarriage happened on New Year���s Day. I beat myself up about it for a while. I didn���t talk to him. I kept everything inside, and then when I did talk about the hurt it wasn���t to him. Things spiraled out of control, we broke up.���
���Because you lost the baby?���
���Not all because of that, but I���m sure it didn���t help. I was always on guard with him, I never let him in.���
���Did Dad know?���
Tessa smiled, ���He knew everything.���
���Do you ever wish you and Lucas���?���
���Heck no,��� Tessa laughed, ���We would���ve killed each other. Neither of us was in any place to be playing house. It was like we ran in place for years; it never really progressed beyond high school. Your Daddy, God��� that man was amazing. He and I were meant to be. We have had a great life. Lucas and Ashley have a great life as well. We were supposed to be friends, that���s it.���
���Did you love him?���
���Of course, still do, just in a different way,��� Tessa looked over at her, ���Lucas and I have been friends forever. He needed someone to show him how to love and that he deserved to be loved. He had never had a female friend and he needed one to show him he was worth more. That���s all it should have ever been, and that���s the way it has been since the day I met your Daddy, Harper. I knew immediately with him.���
���But��� never mind,��� Harper looked up at the ceiling and tears began to fall.
���Harper talk to me,��� Tessa sat up, ���I need you to be able to talk to me.���
Harper���
��s face scrunched up and she cried softly, ���It sounds just like Maddox, Mom, he needed to������
���No Harper, your Maddox,��� Tessa wiped her tears, ���He is something special. You two have both known for years. I���ve known for years.���
���But you ������
���I am telling you, Harper Ann that he is your soul mate and you are his. I am telling you that he had so much to work through and I never thought that you should���ve turned and walked away and never looked back. I know for a fact that the times your dad and I met before getting married that I was so wrapped up in everything else going on we would have had a very bumpy road. Your father and I came together finally when it was meant to be. Our time was not then. Maddox reminds me so much of Collin, and has from day one. If you feel differently now I really think it���s because of all you have been through.���
���How do I know, Mom?���
���You stop thinking and start feeling.���
���I love him so much.���
���And I know he feels the same.���
���I trust him,��� Harper yawned.
���I do too.���
Maddox walked into Harper���s room and walked around a bit. He was exhausted, but knew he would not sleep. He grabbed his bag and pulled out his notebook and then sat on the bed. He propped her pillows into a pile and sat back against the headboard and opened the notebook.
He opened it and went through the pages that he had written when they were in Switzerland and nothing was working so there were many torn pages from his book. He smiled as he looked at the last song he had completed and actually liked enough not to discard it. Tell me you hate me the song he sang with MASS, the song he wrote for Harper.
His eyes felt heavy as he put his pen to the empty sheet of composition page. He knew it wasn���t going to happen, he never fell asleep without Harper or getting fucked up, not for more than a couple hours anyways.
Maddox stood and pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his jeans leaving them in a heap on the fluffy white area rug next to her bed. He sat down in the middle of the bed and wrote.
Light through the darkness.
He doodled on the page writing Mrs. Maddox Hines, Harper Ann Hines, Maddox and Harper Hines, HAH and MAH.
He looked at the page and laughed at himself, you���re such a fucking girl, he thought to himself and sat the book next to him and lay down. Just an hour please, just let me sleep an hour.
He tossed and turned finally rolling to his stomach and growling into her pillow. He breathed in deeply and it hit him. He took another deep breath through his nose and he could smell her on the pillow. He rolled over to his side and looked around the room and saw her clothes neatly in her laundry basket. The sweatshirt she had worn most of the day laid on top of it. He hopped out of bed and grabbed it. He adjusted the pillows so they lay next to him and threw her sweatshirt over it, just a couple hours he thought as he lay down and buried his face into his makeshift Harper.
Maddox breathed in deeply and adjusted the pillows and groaned as he nuzzled into it deeper. He heard someone giggle and he blinked as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight coming through the window.
He finally opened his eyes and saw Harper���s smiling face.
���Good morning, Sweetness,��� he yawned, ���What are you doing way over there?���
���Watching this absolutely gorgeous guy make out with my sweatshirt and������
Maddox looked down at the pillows and sweatshirt and rolling his eyes he flopped on his back and covered his face, ���Shit.���
���Busted,��� Harper giggled as she walked over and sat next to him.
Maddox stretched and the chuckled, ���I was not making out with pillow Harper.���
���Pillow Harper?��� she laughed.
���Uh huh, she isn���t quite as exciting, but apparently works as a good substitute,��� Maddox sat up quickly and kissed her cheek, ���Sweetness, if you tell anyone about this I will kick your sweet little ass.���
���Tell anyone? Maddox I already put it on Facebook that my rock star stud is really just a big cuddle bear,��� Harper smiled and sat back, ���With picture.���
Harper held up her phone and showed him the picture and he tried to grab it as he laughed.
She stood up off the bed and held it up, ���Oh and the notebook with the doodling Mrs. Hines��� that was adorable!���
Maddox jumped up out of bed and she snapped a photo, he looked down, ���Sweetness, morning wood does not belong on the internet.���
���Cuddle Bear, that���s not wood that���s the whole tree. Morning Thumper,��� Harper laughed out loud as he walked quickly after her.
She held her stomach as she squealed when he got closer he froze, ���Does it hurt?���
Harper���s smile softened, ���Sure does, but it���s getting better every day.���
���Yeah?��� he asked walking slowly towards her again.
���Yep,��� she wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist.
���Good,��� Maddox kissed her lips lightly and leaned back, ���I slept without you.���
���Placebo effect,��� she giggled. ���One day you���ll realize it���s not me and then I will be nothing more than a dirty shirt to you.���
���Pretty sure that���s not true.���
Harper kissed him, ���I love you.���
���I never want to go a day without hearing that from you again,��� there was sadness in his voice.
Harper looked up at him, ���Sorry, I won���t ever do it again.���
���That���s good because I won���t let you,��� he ran his nose across her forehead.
���Cuddle bear,��� Harper giggled, ���Could you tell Thumper as much as I adore both of you he is pushing on my boo boo.���
Maddox chuckled, ���Sorry Sweetness, but that���s all your fault.���
���Not true.���
���No?���
���Nope it was the sweatshirt,��� she giggled.
Maddox kissed her swiftly on the head and stood back, ���This place, your home feels like home. I like it here almost as much as I liked Switzerland.���
Harper smiled, ���I would have to agree, but the Cape is home too.���
���Yeah, it has a nice feel as well,��� Maddox smiled, ���Speaking of feeling, I am going to shower and take care of Thumper. Then make you breakfast.���
Harper laughed loudly and looked down and licked her lips, ���You are a very stubborn bunny.���
���You have got to stop, you���re going to drive me crazy,��� Maddox walked around behind her and kissed her head as his hand reached around her and quickly went up her shirt, ���And fair is fair.���
Harper leaned into him and moaned, ���We can���t���this is—naughty,��� Maddox bit her neck and licked harshly as his thumb brushed across her nipple, ���too soon���too much.��� Harper forced herself to pull away and took several steps away from him and turned around.
His face was flush and eyes hooded, ���Not naughty, need, Sweetness.���
Harper cleared her throat and walked to the bed. She grabbed the sweatshirt and tossed it to him and smiled, ���See you downstairs. Have a nice shower.���
Maddox laughed out loud as she opened the door.
���He awake?��� Tessa asked as she started to walk in.
���He is but������
Harper laughed out loud as Tessa walked out, she turned and saw Maddox���s natural golden color turn to beet red.
���That���s twice���Thumper,��� Harper giggled and shut the door behind her.
Tessa looked at her and tried not to laugh, ���I really need to knock from now on.���
Harper looked at her mother and smiled, ���We know we can���t.���
���Okay good,��� Tessa grabbed her daughter���s hand and walked down the stairs.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Goodbye
The ride to the church was only five miles but it seemed like an eternity. In just minutes she would walk into the church filled with people who she had known all her life. All there to say goodbye to the first man she loved, the man who taught her how to ride a bike, throw a ball, and teach others to take care of themselves. A man whose life���s work was to protect and foster communities in all cultures, to gain strength from knowledge, and to train them to do the same. Harper���s father gave his life protecting her.
Harper was almost thankful that her father had been cremated so that she didn���t have to sit in the front row, in her church, and stare at his lifeless body while listening to her Pastor. They started the service with a hymn.
Maddox sat beside her in his black suit, with his arm around her shoulder, his finger stroked her arm softly as he tried to comfort her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and she looked down at the floor, he pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head where it stayed.
Maddox looked about the room at the hundreds of photos of Collin and his wife, children, and extended family. He spotted a few from the times their families had been together. He smiled slightly at one of him and Harper at the Cape. He noticed Collin in the background with his arms crossed over his chest watching them as they laughed at something. He saw the small smile on Collin���s face and smiled. He looked down at Harper again. Her hands were folded on her lap as she tried not to play with them. He took her hand and kissed it and held it on his knee. He looked at Tessa and she was watching him.
