Clutching on to his arm, I lifted my chin in an attempt to appear confident. To give him a confident answer, one he wouldn’t hesitate to question. But the second his eyes found mine, I found it challenging to comprehend what my mind was trying to make out just seconds ago.
“Stop.” I forced out a whisper, and Easton froze then took a step back. Seeing the conflicting expression on his face kicked my heart into overdrive.
“I’m sorry.” He roughly combed his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t mean to push, I said I wouldn’t push and here I am doing exactly that. It’s just . . . I lose all control when I’m around you. I’m sorry, Lilly.”
My heart took a nosedive.
“Why are you apologizing?”
His eyes narrowed right before his gaze faltered. “You said to stop.”
It took a second for my mind to play catch up, and that was when I became conscious of the words that made him react the way he did. “No!” I shook my head. “You misunderstood.” I swallowed my nerves and grabbed his hand in hopes of salvaging the moment. “I was trying to tell you to stop talking. That I want us to just happen like you said.”
“Sunshine,” Easton spoke the term of endearment with such care as he closed the distance he had just put between us. He took my wrists and placed my palms on his chest where his heartbeat pounded strong and steady. “You feel this?”
I nodded.
“It’s beating like this for you. I feel things when I’m with you, and I’m sorry if I’m asking for too much, but it’s all of you I want.” He covered my hands with his. “I’m well aware of the situation, and if I have to wait, I will.”
I moved to sit on the couch, letting his words sink in as I fought the burn in the back of my eyes and the stinging in my nose. This unbelievably patient man was willing to wait for me. And like everything else of late, I had to go and mess it up.
“Hey.” He moved to sit next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. “You know what? I bought a deck of cards for our date. I thought maybe we could play a few hands of poker or black jack. But I honestly wouldn’t be good at anything other than Go Fish or Gin Rummy.” I laughed, grateful, yet again, for his uncanny timing and ability to chase away my nerves and indecisiveness with his humor.
Holding on to the past in hopes of it being my future was unrealistic and it was then I knew what needed to be done.
I needed to let go.
I stood with my hand held out, silently pleading with him to not let my lack for better words ruin our night. I wanted him as much as he wanted me, and it was time I made sure he knew it.
“Come.” I smiled nervously, and Easton stood, placed his hand in mine, and followed as I led him down the short hall.
As we approached the door to his bedroom, he tugged my hand back and stopped. With such tenderness, his eyes appraised mine and he asked, “Are you sure?” He tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and slowly backed me into the wall. “You’re positive?” I nodded. “Cause once I lay you down, I won’t be able to hold back.” His thigh brushed the inside of mine, spreading my legs apart, and a flame of heat engulfed my entire body.
Tucking his thumbs under the hem of my dress, Easton slowly dragged it upward. I didn’t protest as he exposed me and a cool flash of air hit my barely covered flesh.
“You’re absolutely positive?” he breathed against my neck, peppering hot, open-mouth kisses up my throat.
Anticipating his next move was nothing short of torture. The carnal and possessive look in his eyes had my heart working overtime. He ran a knuckle along the strip of cotton in the center of my panties, and my nipples puckered against the lace at the same time my sex clenched. A moan ripped from my chest, an echo of the desire that flowed rampantly through every crevice of my body. I wanted him to lay me down and do exactly as he said he would.
“Easton, please,” I moaned, desperate for his touch. “I need you . . . I need to feel you. Please.”
Just as he slipped a finger into my panties, he sucked on my earlobe then whispered, “You’re all mine. Are you willing to let go? Give me all of you, let me love you?” He brushed his thumb along the seam of my pussy before moving to rub slow circles around my oversensitive clit. “Sunshine? All mine, you hear me? No one else.”
After the first time we had sex, we agreed this would be exclusive, so I couldn’t help but wonder who he might be talking about. I swallowed hard, grabbed on to his biceps, and then agreed. “No one else.”
My body was hot, which quickly had my vision tunneling. Easton lifted the rest of my dress to sit at the top of my chest then eagerly popped the middle clasp of my bra, releasing my breasts. The cool air on my nipples had me grabbing both my breasts and squeezing.
Easton circled my wrists and pushed my hands up and above my head right before whispering, “So damn beautiful. Keep your hands above your head.” He took one nipple between his teeth while his fingers made their way into my panties. “So wet,” he muttered as he worked one then two fingers inside me. His thumb rubbing gentle strokes around my clit. “And so damn warm.” He groaned and pushed his hard cock against me. Too many sensations were trying to take place all at once, making my brain short circuit.
His lips traveled from my breast to my mouth, tugging at my bottom lip. My lips parted, and his tongue curled around mine, speaking a silent language only the two of us could understand.
Easton rolled his fingers around my nipples as his lips mapped a trail from my jawline to the valley between my breasts, over my rib cage, down to my stomach, peppering hot kisses along the way. “Close your eyes and just let yourself feel—feel me.” He hooked his fingers into the lace and dragged them down my thighs. The entire time, I concentrated on the contact of his skin on mine and the fire that burned through me in the wake of his touch.
He tapped one ankle and then the other. I did as he asked, opening my eyes just in time to see as well as feel his tongue lap a long, slow line through my folds. “Turn around, spread your legs, palms flat against the wall,” he commanded gently, and I obeyed. I turned my cheek to the side, my body buzzing, so turned on waiting for what came next.
With a feather-light touch, Easton ran his hands up my legs, lightly massaging along the way from my ankles to my thighs, pressing soft kisses at the backs of my knees. When his hands reached my ass, he caressed the round globes and groaned. “This ass. I love this ass. I’m going to taste you—make you feel good. Hang on, Sunshine.”
My knees buckled in anticipation of his lips, mouth, and tongue. He pushed my cheeks up high and buried his face between my legs. The second his tongue delved deep inside me, a loud and drawn out moan ripped from my chest. I fought the urge to grab my breasts and tug at my nipples, wanting to let go.
My breathing became erratic, and Easton shook his head and mumbled, “Don’t.”
“Easton,” I mewled. His tongue and the way he was working in lazy circles, in and out of me. It had all become too much. Too many sensations were colliding all at once. “Please,” I breathed out desperately. “I need—”
“Shh, I got you,” he whispered, blowing a cool breath against my opening as my knees threatened to buckle again. I couldn’t hold myself up much longer.
“Easton. I can’t.” My hands started slipping, and he stood and wrapped his hands around my waist, stopping his assault.
“Palms back on the wall. Ass out.” I did as he asked, growing even more aroused by his possessive tone then by the sound of his zipper.
Without warning, he slid into me from behind.
“Oh, shit. Easton,” I cried out, feeling him deep inside me.
He reached around, sliding one arm across my chest while his other arm went around my waist and he pulled me back, holding me tight, thrusting slow and hard.
“You feel me, Sunshine. You feel us?” He slid out, and when he slid back in, he pulled me back by the waist to meet his thrust.
“Easton,” I whimpered, quickly losing all sense.
“Um-hmm.” I bit my bottom lip, concentrating on summoning my release.
In a matter of seconds, my heated flesh was covered in goose bumps. He mumbled a string of cuss words and gained momentum. With the sounds of groaning and grunting and skin hitting skin, every nerve ending in my body fired, sending a spiraling sensation low in my belly.
“Easton,” I whispered, barely able to hang on as the strength of my orgasm vibrated through my body.
“That’s it, Sunshine. Take what’s yours. Come on my cock.”
His arms tightened around me, holding me up. If he hadn’t, I was sure I would have floated unceremoniously to the floor and lay there spent, unable to comprehend a damn thing.
The next thing I knew, I was being lifted then carried, my face pressed into the crook of his neck, reveling in the comfort of his arms.
“I’m going to lay you down now and make love to you.” He didn’t give me a chance to protest when he pressed two fingers against my lips. “Shhh, let me love you.”
Easton nestled himself between my thighs and took my mouth in his. He kissed me as if I were a delicate flower. Carefully and passionately. It was a kiss that was more than just a kiss. He loved me like he said he would. He worshiped my body until I could no longer remain awake.
“Is that really you?”
I heard mumbling then opened my eyes to darkness. When I realized my arms were empty, I had a short-lived panic attack, thinking Lilly tried to bail on me again. But as I gained consciousness, my eyes adjusted to the dark, and I found her curled into a ball at the edge of the bed, whimpering.
I lay there, wondering if the sounds of her mumbling were merely a figment of my imagination, but when she sniffled and then started sobbing, I knew she was having a bad dream.
“Lilly,” I whispered, moving closer to her. I gently kissed her bare shoulder and ran my hand the length of her arm. Her skin was cold under my touch. I pulled the blanket up higher and shifted her body closer to mine, whispering her name once again, hoping to comfort her and slowly bring her out of her nightmare. “Sunshine.” It took another minute before she shifted and buried her face into my chest. What I hadn’t expected was the words that punched a hole in my heart.
“Tyler,” she said his name clear as day then sniffled. And for the first time, that one word felt like a machete cutting through my bones. It was one thing to be patient and understanding, to be her shoulder to cry on, but a man could only handle so much.
“Oh, God, I thought you were dead,” she rambled, squeezing my arm with a death grip. Her body started to shake as she sobbed into my chest. “I love you, Ty. I love you so much. D-don’t ev-ever leave me.”
How does a man compete with a ghost?
The same thought was on repeat as I held her, my eyes glued to the ceiling and a heaviness pressing down on my chest, letting the hours tick by. This girl, who had come to mean so much to me, had me in a crazy mess. Hell, I knew it would happen at some point, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. Through my rationalizing, I argued with myself, how it was completely natural part of the grieving process, and again, my heart disagreed.
Maybe it was foolish to make her agree that she was mine. More so knowing what I knew about her situation. It wasn’t as if she had ever lied to me or sugar coated anything.
She had a husband, whom she loved very much and would still be married to if he were still alive.
“Good morning,” she whispered, and a stabbing pain hit my chest. She was there with me physically, but what about mentally or emotionally? Was I just a crutch? Someone she could lean on until she felt stronger and was ready to move on? Did she think about him while she lay in my arms?
“Good morning, Sunshine.” I kissed her forehead and let my lips linger, not trusting myself not to say something I shouldn’t. “Sleep well?” My heart rate increased, not knowing if I really wanted to hear the answer.
“I did,” she whispered and kissed the tattoo on my chest.
I needed to get out of my head before I said or did something I would regret. Just because she confessed her love for her deceased husband while stuck in a nightmare, it didn’t prove a damn thing. She could still be in this with me one hundred percent. She hadn’t given me any real reason to believe she wasn’t. I would have to trust her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
“Did you have any plans for today?” I brushed her messy hair from her pretty face, which no longer had a stitch of makeup. When she tilted her head back and her sleepy eyes met mine, I told myself to be patient. She was definitely worth the wait.
“I’m not sure. If you’re busy, don’t let me keep you.” She started to squirm, and I refused to let her out of my arms. “I know you’re busy.”
“Would you quit?” I pulled her up to lay on top of me. “You better be keeping me, and I’m never too busy for you.” Leaning forward, I sucked on the base of her throat, which made my dick swell. Actually, I was hard as fuck and having her sprawled out on top of me didn’t make matters easier. She rubbed against me, creating red-hot friction. “Sunshine.”
“Hmm.”
Feeling her eager and soaked against me, all I could think about was being inside her. I grabbed her by the hips and guided her up and down along my shaft. In one quick motion, I sat up, and she straddled me. Desperate for a taste of her, I pressed my lips into the crook of her neck and sucked on her soft creamy skin. Her scent of sweet orange blossoms invaded my senses, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Lift a little and slide back down—nice and slow.” My voice was low and husky as I wrapped one arm around her waist and used my other hand to grab her hip, guiding her as she rode me, as she fucked me, as she made me fall madly in love with her.
Her beautiful brown eyes became hooded, and her cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. Lilly locked her hands at the back of my neck, licked her lips, and let her head fall back, obviously letting go and being in the moment. I just hoped it was me she was fantasizing about.
Lost in a state of pleasure, she released a string of moans as she rotated her hips, and I couldn’t take not knowing. “Look at me,” I grumbled in a gruff voice. I couldn’t have her thinking about him—not when I was balls deep and so far gone. Particularly after hearing her call out for him in the middle of the night.
“Easton,” she moaned and tightened my hold on her, grinning as she locked her eyes on mine. So many different feelings passed between us, confirming all I needed to know. She was definitely with me.
“Oh my god!” she screamed, and I took her breast in my mouth, rotating between lapping and sucking hard on her nipple. My hands impatiently moved downward, squeezing handfuls of her ass, taking control and guiding her back and forth on my dick. Her inner muscles started to contract, and I could feel her getting close as she worked her hips faster, sliding back and forth and taking what was hers. Her movements caused my balls to tighten, and a tingling sensation shot from the base of my spine up to my neck.
She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, and her breathing turned labored. “Yes! Oh my . . . fuck!” Lilly threw her head forward and bit down hard on my shoulder as her body vibrated and squeezed around me.
“That’s it, Sunshine. Let go.” I pressed my thumb against her clit, pushing her higher.
“Easton,” she moaned, losing her cadence, too lost in pleasure to move. I squeezed her ass with a vise grip, rocking her body back and forth, struggling to breathe before finally grunting and pumping my release inside her.
With frantic hands, I held her face, locked her mouth with mine, and came hard, but not as hard as I fell.
This woman, this unbelievably beautiful woman, was mine.
Easton took my hand in his and locked our fingers together as we exited the cafe. I glanced at the small public display of affection then back up at him,
smiling.
“Is this okay?” he asked with a soft expression on his face and a gleam in his eyes. I nodded, too happy to form any kind of words. This was more than okay. This was perfect.
He was perfect.
After Tyler died, I never expected to feel normal again, least of all because of a man who had no real reason to stick around here in Savannah anymore.
At the time, it didn’t seem fair to continue on with my life while he no longer had his. But somewhere along the way, and although I still loved Tyler, I realized Easton had made his way into my heart, too.
Hand in hand, we strolled along the cobblestone sidewalks, soaking up the early Sunday morning sun. The streets were quiet, which meant people were probably sleeping in or just heading to church. Easton brought our hands to his mouth where he kissed the back of mine, and I stopped to get a better look at a flyer on one of the dimly lit storefronts.
It was an advertisement for a special First Friday celebration in August, which was just a week away. I had missed the annual Fourth of July celebration. The same celebration Tyler used to take me to. For a moment, that knowledge felt heavy, but then I kept reading. The high school marching band and cheerleaders were going to be leading a special parade. Immersed with memories of my past, they took me back to when things were simpler and life was more trivial. When the biggest problems I had were where I was headed after the Friday night football game or if I’d passed my chemistry test, usually in that order. My social life was a tiny bit more important than my academic one. Tyler was more important than both of them.
Tears burned the back of my eyes and the words blurred. I blinked rapidly, hoping they wouldn’t fall.
This special event was being held in commemoration of the fallen soldiers local to Savannah and a couple of surrounding counties. To pay tribute to the soldiers who had lost their lives in combat. Quite a few businesses were sponsoring the event with proceeds benefiting a short list of local military charities with the main focus on assisting wounded soldiers transitioning back into the community.
Between Him and Us Page 15
