No Love Lost (Masters and Mercenaries: The Forgotten Book 5)

by Lexi Blake

  Ezra groaned but disappeared into the bedroom with Roman.

  “We’re taking the bed?” Kim asked. “You know I can walk, right?”

  “Why should you? And yes, I meant we as in you and me and Roman. I don’t want the two of you alone.” He walked them through the doorway as Ezra was placing Roman in the middle of the only slightly larger than a double bed. “Even in a room. Don’t worry, baby. I won’t try to kiss you again until you ask me to.”

  “Like that’s going to happen.” But she was relaxed in his arms as he settled her on the bed.

  It would. She’d wanted him to kiss her tonight. Her head had tilted up and those gorgeous lips had parted the tiniest bit to welcome him home.

  He grabbed a blanket and pulled it over Kim and Roman, making sure they would be warm and comfortable. “I promise when we get wherever we’re going I’ll make sure you both have proper PJs and toothbrushes and stuff.”

  She yawned. “I used yours. Roman was thrilled to not have to brush his teeth.” She frowned. “I am tired. I wasn’t going to tell you I did that.”

  He didn’t mind at all. She’d always used his toothbrush when she’d forgotten her own, and that had happened more than once. As he’d usually spent time with his tongue on every part of her body, he hadn’t seen it as a hygiene thing. They’d been married.

  It was so easy to fall back into patterns when he wasn’t being an asshole to her.

  He reached down and touched her hair. “Go to sleep. I’ll be right on the other side of our son.”

  “I’ll apparently be outside with the computer guy waiting to be used as a human shield.” Ezra was standing at the door like he was still going to try to sleep on that chair.

  “Jax is good with a gun, too. He’ll protect you and shit. Go to the couch.” He pushed his brother out and closed the door in his face.

  “That was rude,” Kim said, but she was settling in, her hair spread out behind her.

  He’d missed all that hair. “He should get used to it.” He turned off the lamp on the nightstand and eased his body down on the bed, tucking the blanket around his son. “I promise I’m going to take care of you. I know I didn’t back then, but I’m a different man now.”

  In the moonlight he could see her eyes close. “You’re still bossy as hell. Tell Big Tag to send moisturizer. My skin’s not as young as it used to be.”

  He couldn’t tell. She looked luminous in the silky moonlight.

  In seconds she was breathing deeply, slowly, as she fell asleep.

  Beck laid there in bed watching them sleep, perfectly content for the first time in decades.

  He would win her back. He wouldn’t stop until she said yes to him again.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Uncle Ezra used to play football? That’s weird.”

  Beck scooped the eggs onto his son’s plate, a sense of satisfaction running through him. He didn’t feel this way when he cooked for himself. He usually felt annoyed because it meant he didn’t have time to stop and pick something up. He was a serviceable cook.

  “It wasn’t weird.” Ezra pulled up a chair, ruffling Roman’s hair as he sat down. “Except that we called it soccer because football means something different in the States. And you’re lucky because you’re getting your dad’s special eggs. He used to cook them for me when our mom was too busy.”

  “There’s not a lot special about them. A little butter and milk. That’s pretty standard.” He didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d taken care of his brother for years while their parents had worked. It was him cooking breakfast or they ate cereal every day and then his brother whined until lunch.

  “They were special to me because my brother cooked them,” Ezra replied. “They were a blessing.”

  “I only have enough for Kim.” He wasn’t letting his brother con him into making him breakfast. If he’d wanted breakfast, he would have been alive all these years.

  Ezra nodded. “It’s fine. I’m used to fasting. It’s a good way to contemplate the blessings of food.”

  Roman’s eyes went from Ezra and then back to him, as though he was watching a fascinating tennis match. It was a good reminder that they weren’t alone, and his sarcasm wasn’t going to help anything at this point.

  Which was sad because he had several very sarcastic responses to his brother right now.

  “Sorry. Owen’s already been up, and after his unfortunate seasickness incident, his appetite came back with a vengeance,” Beck explained. “He was the one who went to the store down the street. There are some croissants if you want them, and a couple of pieces of fruit. Unless you’re serious about fasting.”

  If his brother got left behind because they had to run and he was contemplating his blessings, then that was just what had to happen.

  Ezra reached across and grabbed a banana. “I probably should keep my energy up.”

  Roman set down his small glass of milk. “Who is the man who wants to hurt my mom?”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Ezra began.

  “His name is Levi Green.” Being told not to worry would likely make Roman worry more. “I’ll show you a picture of him. I want you to memorize his face because if you ever see it, I want you to run and hide, and if he comes close you scream as loud as you can and get someone to help you.”

  “Beck, I’m trying not to scare the kid,” Ezra said with a frown.

  “Fear is a gift sometimes. Fear can keep you alive.” He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it and leave his kid in the dark. “Levi Green is a man who hates your mother. He’ll tell you he cares about her, but he’s lying.”

  “Like the devil lies?” Roman asked.

  The devil’s best lies were always grounded in the truth. He and Levi did have that in common. “I’ve thought of him that way often. But I do promise you that I’m going to take care of the situation this time.”

  He wasn’t sure how. Levi was more untouchable than he’d ever been. He’d lain awake the night before and thought about all the ways he could assassinate the fucker. Or pay someone to since he was out of practice.

  Or he could put his brain to use and find a way to nail him for every crime he’d committed. Levi might have a lot of powerful people in his corner now, but if he could find real proof, they would all back away. That was the trouble with powerful people. They often had a lot to lose.

  “Are we going to stay here?” Roman asked. “Am I going to ever see my Uncle Francis again?”

  His heart clenched at the fear he heard in his son’s voice. He knelt down beside him. “I don’t know that we’ll be going back to Malta any time soon, but I do promise that your Uncle Francis is fine, and you will see him again. In fact, when we have a secure line, your mom can call him.”

  A look of relief crossed Roman’s face. “Good, because I think he’ll be lonely. So what am I going to do about school? I still have two weeks left.”

  “I think we’re going to have to call it a year. In the States school is already out,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. Are you going to miss your friends?”

  Roman’s face fell. “I don’t have a lot of friends. They think I’m weird.”

  “It’s because you’re so smart,” Ezra replied as though they’d had this conversation more than once. “They’re jealous that you do so well in school and they struggle.”

  “No, I think it’s because I’m weird. I’m not good at sports,” Roman said. “But I know lots of science stuff, and I apparently talk about it too much and use big words. I can’t help it that I have an expansive vocabulary.”

  Ezra smiled Roman’s way, but his words were directed at Beck. “We do word of the day. We’ve done it since he was two years old. His teacher tells me he’s got the most mature vocabulary of any student she’s ever had.”

  “Not that it helps me win friends.” Roman looked down at his eggs.

  “You don’t need to win friends,” Ezra insisted.

  “How many kids were you around before you started school?” Beck ha
d an idea of why Roman didn’t fit in. Kim would have kept him close during those first years. She wouldn’t have dropped him off at a daycare or arranged playdates. She would have put everything she had into protecting her son. Their son.

  “I didn’t really meet many kids until school,” Roman admitted. “Uncle Ezra was my friend.”

  “Uncle Ezra was a geek. He is not the person who should be teaching you how to be cool. He was a geek in school, and when he gets the chance to pick a cover, he becomes a priest.”

  Ezra sent him a death stare.

  Beck wasn’t backing down. “You could have become anything. You chose priest.”

  “It’s not a cover. It’s a calling, asshole.” Ezra frowned. “I’m sorry I cursed, Roman. Your father pushes me.”

  “All I’m saying is making friends can be taught,” Beck explained. “The social aspects of school can be as important as the academic ones.”

  “Can you teach me?” Roman asked.

  He hoped he had the chance. He wasn’t sure how long they would be hiding. Once it was safe, he didn’t know if Kim would want to take their son back to Malta to resume their lives there. He would have to move. “Of course. I would love to help out. I’m around a lot of kids. All my friends have kids. Well, most of them.”

  “Can I meet them?” Roman asked, his eyes bright.

  “Sure. At some point. I don’t think we’ll be able to go back to Dallas right away. We need to make sure your mom is safe.” He didn’t know what Kim wanted to tell Roman about her situation. Somehow he didn’t think telling Roman that his mom could be arrested at any moment would make him any less afraid.

  “Where do you think we’ll go?” The question had come from his brother rather than his son, but they were both looking at him like he was the authority figure in the room.

  “Can we hide at the place that has all the Harry Potter stuff?” Roman asked. “We can dress like wizards and maybe Levi Green won’t know we’re there.”

  A chuckle caressed his ears and went straight to his cock. He loved that husky laugh of hers. He turned and she was standing in the doorway, all soft and tousled. She was wearing the same clothes from the day before, but she’d washed the makeup off. She was gorgeous with or without makeup, but she looked younger like this, looked so close to the young woman he’d fallen head over heels for.

  “I don’t think an amusement park is what your dad is thinking of,” she said, moving over to their son. She leaned over and kissed his head. “Did your dad make those eggs?”

  Roman grinned up at her. “Yeah, and he saved some for you. He wouldn’t let Uncle Ezra have any.”

  Kim sent him a suspicious look. “Somehow I don’t think that was all about me. I can have a croissant.”

  “It is absolutely all about you,” Beck promised her. “You haven’t eaten. You need some food, and I’m going to make sure you get it.”

  “Are you?” Her shoulders squared. It was her goddess warrior, I’m-not-letting-some-man-tell-me-what-to-do pose.

  He placed the plate in front of an empty seat. “I’m hoping if you eat, maybe Roman will, too.”

  She sat down and her fork was in her hand pretty damn quick. “We should all have a good breakfast. It’s going to be a long day.” She turned back to Beck once she was comfortable their son was eating. “Have you heard from Theo yet? Do you know where we’re going?”

  Owen and Jax were in the office upstairs making all kinds of arrangements. “I think we’ll either be going to England or a country called Loa Mali.”

  “That’s where the Green King lives,” Roman said around a mouthful of eggs. “He makes solar panels and green cars.”

  “He’s also a personal friend of my boss.” He’d thought about it all night and decided Ian would be looking at either moving them to Loa Mali or to somewhere Damon Knight controlled, and that would likely mean England.

  He wanted to go home. It was funny because when he’d bought the three-bedroom house on the same road as Theo Taggart’s, he’d done it as an investment. It had never truly felt like a home, but now he wanted to take Roman there. He wanted to show him the tree in the back that would be perfect for a treehouse, and where they could put a swing set. The yard was big enough for a dog to run around in. Did Roman like dogs?

  “I don’t know that’s a good idea,” Kim said. “I’ve been following a lot of what King Kashmir and Queen Dayita have been doing lately. They’re trying to get the US to join them on a couple of important initiatives. My presence could stall those talks.”

  “I don’t intend to let anyone know about your presence.” There were definite advantages to being in a country in the middle of the Indian Ocean where the government would be friendly to what they needed. If they went to England, the Brits would absolutely turn Kim over if they caught her. They’d already done it once.

  “I still think it could cause serious problems,” Kim argued.

  “Let’s not borrow trouble,” Ezra said. “I think we should all take a positive attitude. Wherever we end up, that’s where God wants us to go.”

  “I’ll go where Tag tells me to go,” Beck deadpanned. “He’s got a god complex, after all. And what’s this we stuff? Don’t you have a church to clean or something? Confessions to hear?”

  “I don’t have a congregation. I’m a liaison to the Order, and I work in the hospital,” Ezra replied. “I help Brother Francis whenever I can. I also do work with medical charities across Africa and the Middle East.”

  “Mom would be proud.” Except of the whole drug-addict-had-to-fake-his-own-death part. “You should go do those things.”

  His brother’s jaw tightened. “I’m not leaving Kim and Roman.”

  “What are you going to do for them? Pray? Because last I heard prayer probably won’t stop bullets,” he shot back.

  Roman’s eyes widened. “Someone’s going to shoot us? He wants to shoot my mom?”

  If looks could kill, he would be struck down immediately because Kim’s stare was brutal. “Of course not, baby. Your father is angry with his brother and he can’t help but try to twist that knife. Beck, could I have a moment?”

  It would be way more than a moment. It would be a long lecture about what complete shit he was at parenting.

  “Roman and I will clean up the kitchen,” Ezra offered. “We can make a game out of it.”

  Roman didn’t look like he would find anything fun at this moment. Beck felt his son’s eyes on him as Kim strode out into the living room. The minute he followed her, she turned on him, pointing a finger his way.

  “How could you do that? He’s very smart. Do you know what that means? He internalizes his fears, and you just gave him a huge one.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. You’re right. I was lashing out at Ezra and I did what I always do. I ended up hurting someone I didn’t mean to. How do I reassure Roman?”

  Kim stared at him for a moment like she hadn’t understood a single word that had come from his mouth. “You can’t joke about those things around Roman.”

  “I won’t. I promise. I’m new at this. I need your help. The last thing I want to do is scare our son more than he already is, but we also have to prepare him for what might happen. He can’t be in the dark about this. I want to take your lead, but I’ve been that little boy who knew something was terribly wrong only to have my parents tell me I was crazy.” They’d sworn nothing was wrong right up to the moment they divorced and he got hauled halfway across the country. He hadn’t missed his father, and it had all been for the best, but he’d come to realize that having his instincts questioned so early in life had an effect on him. “We need to talk about how we’re going to handle Roman’s questions during this time. It’s obvious he’s known something was wrong for a while.”

  Her arms crossed over her chest. “So this is all my fault?”

  She needed to understand he wasn’t fighting with her. He got it. This was how all their difficult discussions had gone before. She was merely following th
eir old template. He got mad. She got defensive. They retreated to their corners and started all over again.

  He wasn’t going by their old playbook. He moved in and put his hands on her shoulders. “Not at all. He’s an amazing kid and that’s because he’s got an amazing mom. That kid adores you. I want to earn his love, but I know what it means to have my parents gaslight me. I’m sure my mom would have said it was for my own good, but what it actually did was made me doubt everything she said to me. It made me doubt my own instincts. You should know I promised Roman I would show him a picture of Levi Green so he would know what the man who wants to hurt his mom looks like.”

  She relaxed and her gaze softened. “Yes, he needs to know who to look out for. I’ve been avoiding this talk. I should have had it when he started school.”

  “It’s a hard talk to have.”

  “He’s just so smart, and he can get anxious. When the school did a unit on global warming he made himself sick worrying about it. I can’t imagine what this is going to do to him.”

  He followed his instincts now, the very ones he used to doubt. He pulled her into his arms. “We can talk about it and make some plans, and then sit down with him and discuss it as a family.”

  Her arms went around his chest, holding him tight. “I’d like that.” Her head tilted up. “Beck, I know I didn’t say it earlier, but I missed you, too.”

  “Beck?” Jax was walking down the stairs, followed by Owen.

  He was never going to get his lips on hers. He sighed and stepped back. From the grim look on those faces, they were in for bad news.

  “What’s going on?” He kept his voice down. He didn’t want to scare Roman more than he already had.

  “Ian’s on a satellite call, and he’s not alone,” Owen replied as Jax set up the laptop on the small coffee table. “Solo, you might want to stay out of sight.”

  A shiver went up Beck’s spine. “What does that mean?”

  “It means Levi Green just walked into McKay-Taggart and he wants to talk,” Jax explained.