No Love Lost (Masters and Mercenaries: The Forgotten Book 5)

by Lexi Blake

  “Not if she’s around Tag’s monster she’s not. You need to talk to Kala about…everything,” Alex said. “Just everything.”

  “I’ll get right on that,” Tag replied in a way that said he wouldn’t do that any time soon.

  “Is Kim coming back?” He was waiting for the moment when she walked in the room.

  “She wanted to run by the kids’ club,” Charlotte explained. “We have to call it that now or I can’t get Travis to go. It’s not a nursery anymore. It’s a very cool club that only kids get to go to. It’s important that it be elite.”

  “It’s important that his dad is banned,” Tag groused. “I really thought that slide would hold my weight.”

  The conference room door opened and Kim walked in. Beck shot to his feet and pulled out a chair for her. “Hey, I got you some coffee.”

  He’d even put it in one of those little thermoses so it would stay hot.

  She smiled as she sank into the seat he’d saved for her. “Thank you. I could use it.”

  “Did you get me coffee?” Ezra asked, taking the seat across from Beck.

  Beck simply stared at him.

  “All right then.” Ezra settled in. “I’ve been meaning to cut back. Discipline is good for the soul.”

  “It’s good for a lot of things.” Tag winked his wife’s way.

  Beck wouldn’t know. He hadn’t been able to discipline his sexy sub at all. And now he had some questions because he was fairly certain they’d agreed it was dangerous for Ezra to be out and about. “Why is Ezra here? I thought we were keeping my brother in a bunker somewhere.”

  “Nah, they’re keeping me in a sex club,” Ezra replied. “Mr. McKay tried to tell me it was some sort of a gym given the large hamster wheel that lights up, but I didn’t think that bench thing was for weights.”

  “You stashed the priest at Sanctum?” Li was suddenly sitting up straight.

  “Well, it was good enough for Jesus,” Tag replied.

  Beck couldn’t help but laugh, which earned him a stare from Kim. He saw church in his future.

  “I’m serious,” Tag continued. “Contrary to what most people think, Jesus liked to hang with a rough crowd. Also, there’s nothing wrong with sex. What consenting adults do is a beautiful thing. I personally am very grateful for sex.”

  Beck would be grateful for sex. So freaking grateful. When he looked at it, this situation was really his brother’s fault. Had his brother not decided to get involved in some very unsavory activities years before, he wouldn’t have faked his death, and then there would have been no divorce and he would have been fucking his wife for years.

  Yeah, not even he could fool himself about that. They’d been on thin ice before the divorce, and it had been all about his own anger and jealousy.

  “Father, you don’t have to stay at Sanctum,” Li said. “You can come stay with me and my family. My daughter is a saint of a girl, but my boy could use a little religion, if you know what I mean.”

  A smile tugged at his brother’s lips. “I’m fine where I am. I find it amusing, and I agree with Mr. Taggart. Sex is a gift.”

  “One you do not partake of,” Beck pointed out.

  “Well of course he doesn’t.” Li looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “He’s a priest.”

  “It’s all right. I’m also his brother,” Ezra said. “Beck is having to adjust to a lot of hard truths he didn’t understand. I think he’s doing a good job of it so far.”

  “Like I need your praise. And of course I don’t think of you as a priest. I remember when you used to take hour-long showers after you discovered girls,” he grumbled. “I had to choose to be late to school or go without a shower.”

  “The father is fine where he is. Sanctum is the best place for him. He’s got everything he needs, and we can move him around without eyes on him. We can smuggle him in and out easily from there.” Tag sat back, obviously getting down to business. “Theo’s working with Jax and Hutch on trying to track Green. Green’s in DC, but according to what we’ve learned he’s supposed to head out to the Hamptons this weekend where his fiancée’s family is holding a campaign event for her father.”

  “Who is the vice president of the United States, looking to be president,” Charlotte explained. “Levi has thrived under the current president, and we expect he’ll continue if his father-in-law wins. He’s moved into the upper echelons of the CIA. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up heading the Agency.”

  Eve had a notepad out, a pen in her well-manicured hand. “Solo, do you have thoughts about Levi’s past? I’ve got a full dossier on him, but you’ve known him for a long time.”

  “Yes. Most of my adult life. We met when we were both in training. Power has always been very important to Levi.” Kim had her hands around the mug like she needed the warmth. “He grew up in a wealthy family, but his parents weren’t all that interested in him. I think they were a bit like mine. Unfortunately, his father’s wealth was wiped out during a financial crisis. Levi was in college at the time, studying political science. He wanted to go into politics, but without cash it wasn’t going to happen. Levi didn’t want to be a mayor or a state representative. He wanted to go to the top and fast. He still had a lot of connections, including some at the Agency.”

  “He was never really an operative.” It was one of the many things that rankled Beck. “They never put him in the field, but he quickly was given the lead to use operatives and teams. In this case, it was my brother’s Force Recon team.”

  “I know we did a deep dive on this back in the day, but I need a refresher,” Li admitted. “It’s been years, and I don’t think we had much to go on back then.”

  “Well, in my defense, the whole team was supposed to have died.” Tag started passing around folders with the original report in them. “Solo, did you hide the other team members around the globe somewhere?”

  Kim’s grip tightened. “No, they died in a firefight.”

  “I wouldn’t call it that. It was more like an ambush.” Ezra’s eyes were on the table in front of him. “Most of us didn’t get a shot off.”

  “What was the purpose of the op?” Tag asked. “And why was Solo in charge?”

  “Beck, I think we should talk about this in private first,” Ezra said quietly.

  “There’s no need to.” He’d avoided his brother’s mea culpa for days. He intended to do this on his time. “Everyone’s read the reports.”

  “Okay.” Ezra sat up and folded his hands together on the table in front of him. “In order to understand that particular mission, you need to understand how I got there.”

  “No, we don’t.” Frustration welled. He didn’t want to hear his brother’s sad story. “You liked drugs and you got recruited by a guy who liked to make money off drugs. We got it.”

  Kim sighed. “And that reaction is exactly why he couldn’t come to you. You were always so judgmental. It’s why I couldn’t tell you. Ezra, there’s no point in going over this. I’ll explain the op.”

  Shit. The last thing he needed was for Kim to decide he hadn’t changed. “I’m sorry. I’m angry with him and I’m not being reasonable. Ezra, if you want to talk about this privately, we can go to my office.”

  “You were right. He has a leash now.” Li had leaned over and whispered to Tag.

  “No, it’s fine. It’s best I get it all out there,” Ezra said. “I had a minor injury after a mission. I was my team’s medic. The truth was I wasn’t all that brilliant in battle with a gun, but I was excellent at saving soldiers. I often think if I hadn’t found my way into medic training, I would have left the Navy pretty early on.”

  “I thought he was a Marine.” Liam opened the folder in front of him.

  Tag tried to pass him a pair of reading glasses. “The Marines get their medics from the Navy. Avery says you have to wear these or you get a headache.”

  “Fuck you, Tag.” But Li took the glasses. “I’m only wearing them because my darling thinks I look good in them.”
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  “Avery’s the one who needs glasses.” That quip earned Tag a wifely smack against his big bicep. “So while Ezra would have started out in the Navy, and technically wasn’t ever a Marine, he served with a Marine unit.”

  “He was an honorary Marine. He passed his test and got his pin.” Somehow he felt the need to defend Ezra. Not that he didn’t like the Navy. He didn’t care either way, but it had meant something that his brother got that pin.

  “He’s talking about my Fleet Marine Force pin,” Ezra explained. “It’s a test you take to prove you know what you need to know about the Marine Corps. I was my unit’s corpsman, what you call a medic. What that means is I was a Marine right until someone got hurt and then I was a doc. And I loved that. I thought about going to medical school after I got out, but that was pretty unrealistic for me.”

  “Why?” He’d never once heard that Ezra wanted to do anything but be in the military. He’d gone in because their parents hadn’t had the money to send him to college, but he’d seemed happy there. How much had he missed? How much had Ezra hidden down deep?

  “It costs a lot to get through medical school even with the military aid, and honestly, I don’t know that I’m smart enough. I certainly didn’t believe it back then.”

  “You were always smart.”

  “Not compared to my brother,” Ezra said. “Anyway, to make a long story short, I got hooked on pain meds after my injury. I think it was a combination of things that included a deep depression I went into after my father died.”

  Beck had to shake his head. “You never seemed depressed.”

  “The drugs will do that to you,” Ezra allowed. “Uhm, I’m pretty sure during that last year you never saw me when I wasn’t high. I was excellent at hiding it, though I know some of the guys in the unit I was in at the time suspected I had a problem. I got called in by my CO one day and I thought I was going to get in serious trouble. Instead that man on the tape was there and he offered me a place in what he called a special unit.”

  “Just so we’re clear,” Eve began, “you’re talking about Levi Green. He was the man who recruited you onto the unit you were in when the incident took place.”

  “Yes. I saw him the once and then one other time during the six months I was with that unit. I didn’t talk to him much. He talked to my CO much more. I also wasn’t given his name. That alone let me know we were working for the Agency,” Ezra explained. “But I trusted them. My two favorite people in the world were agents.”

  Beck didn’t want to think about what his brother’s words were doing to him. He wasn’t going to forgive Ezra. He didn’t have to. He didn’t have to forgive the people who had done him wrong. He could understand it in Kim’s case, but he would still be married if Ezra hadn’t played his games.

  Wouldn’t he? Then there was the issue of Levi Green picking Ezra Fain for his “special” unit. “He picked you specifically?”

  Ezra nodded. “Yes. He said he’d been looking for the right corpsman to fill the last spot. I took it because I thought I might be able to hide my problems. I got on that team and realized I didn’t have to hide at all.”

  “Because they were all corrupt in one way or another.” Tag was looking down at the file in front of him. “Levi put together a group he could manipulate if he had to. Every man on the team had issues. Did Levi supply you with drugs?”

  His brother’s jaw tightened. “Someone did. I think we can probably bet it was him.”

  “I’ve got Theo working on finding out if Levi had any other special teams,” Tag explained.

  “I think he did.” Kim glanced Tag’s way, a serious expression on her face. “I think he had one in each branch of the military. He bragged about it to me once and told me his units would take him far. Most of us work with whoever is in the area, but Levi would move his own teams around the globe if he had to.”

  She’d never told him that. Suspicion was an old friend, and he felt it brush up his spine. Why wouldn’t she have told him?

  She turned his way as though she could read his mind. “I wasn’t aware of this until after our divorce.” She went back to speaking to Tag. “And obviously, we were working for the same agency during the time with the Lost Boys.”

  “You were a good agent.” Tag looked almost sympathetic. “I truly understand the walls you had to put up. You were walking a very fine line, and I appreciate everything you did for us during that time. Charlie told you about the office, right?”

  “Yes.” Her face went a careful blank. “It looks nice.”

  “It’s yours for as long as you want it,” Tag offered. “I know you don’t need the paycheck, but you do need the work. This isn’t some sympathy offer. I’m not trying to placate your ex-husband. I think you’ve got excellent instincts, and I can’t buy your experience. I want you to take the next couple of months and think about staying here with us.”

  “I appreciate it.” The smile was back on her face. “I especially appreciate having a safe place for Roman for the rest of the summer.”

  “We’re going to make sure you’re all safe,” Tag promised. “Now this seems to be getting emotional and that is icky. Do y’all need to sort this out and then Beck can write up a report?”

  “I think that would be best,” Eve said quietly. “I wasn’t aware they hadn’t talked. This is not the place for family history to be revealed. Why don’t we leave you the conference room?”

  “No,” Kim said. “It’s all right. It’s better to get it out here and now so I can answer your questions. The truth of the matter is Ezra didn’t understand the whys behind the missions he was sent on. We’ve all read the report Levi wrote?”

  He should have taken Ezra up on his chance to make this private because it was obvious that his offer of coffee hadn’t made a dent in Kim’s walls. He wasn’t sure why, but they were all up again this morning. She was sitting feet away but further than ever.

  “The one that he never actually turned in? Yes.” Charlotte sat back. “In it he accuses Ezra Fain of being the ringleader in delivering several packages of contraband materials to rebel groups in Southeast Asia. These materials include guns and other weapons of war. And they could go in under the radar because recon is what MARSOC does.”

  “Yes, I got the feeling it was Levi’s version of Iran-Contra,” Alex said. “So this was his way of covering his tracks. How did Solo get involved?”

  “He wasn’t just covering his tracks.” The enormity of what Levi had done hit Beck forcibly. “He set Kim up to take the fall. Who handed the op over to you?”

  “The director came into my office the day before it was going down and said he needed me to oversee a recon op because the original handler was dealing with something else. I asked who it was. I was told that was classified and all I had to do was give them a go and make sure I watched for anything that might halt the op. I didn’t even know it was my brother-in-law’s unit until Beck asked me to call it off.”

  “I talked to him the night before.” Ezra stared at the conference table. “I called him because our mom was in bad shape and I wanted him to look in on her.”

  Beck shook his head. “That wasn’t what it sounded like to me.” He remembered how scared he’d been. His brother had been on another continent, walking into a dangerous mission, and he’d sounded suicidal. “You were upset that night.”

  “I was high that night,” Ezra said quietly. “I was upset and high, and I don’t even remember what I said to you, but I remember that you told me I better get my shit together or you would have me pulled from my unit.”

  “Because I didn’t think you should be going on dangerous ops when you were that emotional. I wasn’t trying to fuck up your career.” How could he think that? Except apparently he sounded like a judgmental asshole a lot of the time.

  “See, this is the family dynamic stuff that probably should be dealt with in therapy,” Alex said.

  Ezra shook his head. “I want to get this over with so I can head back to Sanctum. I’m stil
l tired.”

  Weary. His brother looked weary. “That night I went to my wife and told her how upset I was and that I was going to talk to whoever was handling the op. Ezra was talking about a classified op to a person who didn’t have clearance on it. Namely me. That meant I could likely get him pulled.”

  “And wreck his military career,” Tag added. “Though I’ll be honest, I can’t think of anything worse than going into a dangerous op with an unstable team member. I don’t think it was unfair of Beck to try to pull you.”

  “I wish he had. An addict doesn’t care about right or wrong. That particular demon is selfish. He doesn’t care who gets hurt. All that matters is his own comfort.” Ezra’s eyes found Beck’s. “I’m so sorry for putting you in that position. And for everything that came after.”

  Yes, he definitely should have done this in private because he was going to look like such an asshole. He felt frozen. He didn’t want to let go of this anger he had. He shouldn’t have to. Years. Ezra cost him years with her. Still, Kim was sitting next to him. “I appreciate that. So as to that day, what were you there to do? I know what you were supposed to be doing. According to the records, you were supposed to do recon for a rescue mission. What was your true mission?”

  He'd spent years thinking his brother had died trying to save a group of young women from their jihadist kidnappers. He’d made his brother a saint in his head, and he was having trouble remembering Ezra had been human and flawed.

  Ezra sat up straighter, as though the soldier was still in there somewhere. “We were supposed to pass off a package to a rebel leader in the area. I don’t know what was in it. It was odd, though. When we actually got there, the man we met with looked like an American. I didn’t hear him talk because I was standing in the back. I wasn’t feeling great.”

  Because he’d been coming down off a high. Because his brother had been using drugs.

  How would he have reacted back then?

  “Solo, what had you been told about the op?” Alex asked.