by Sana Abid
"You'll see." I gave him a funny look before turning my attention back to Joe, who had crossed the room. Every step he took was vibrant, long and bold. Elle waited for him in the middle of the room near the booth Jay and I were sitting in. We really did have the best seat in the house.
Just like how Jay told me to, I waited and watched Joe slip a coin out of his pocket and push it through the tiny slit of the jukebox. A damn jukebox. Who knew I'd ever seen one in person?
"Okay, let's go," Jay directed right when the slow melody started filling the room.
"Aw, we're going home now?" I pouted. "I wanna see them dance."
"Not home." He held out his hand. He wanted to dance.
"I can't—I can't dance. Especially not with everyone watching. One guy already looked at me weird because of my clothes."
"They won't watch then," he said. Then he tapped on the shoulder of the man eating his doughnut next to us. The man didn't even flinch.
"You made us invisible?" I gaped at him.
"Shall we?" He smiled, extending his hand out further.
"Okay, but I suck, so don't laugh." With a shaky breath, I slipped out of the booth and took his hand, so warm and big holding my own. My insides were fluttery with exuberance like little fireworks exploding inside me, and he hadn't even slipped his arms around my waist yet. When he did, my knees nearly buckled from the sudden change in the atmosphere— a scent of new romance clouding around the two of us like fresh lavender.
"You can dance," he pointed out.
"Ha. If this is dancing— hey, you took your shoes off," I said wrapping my arms around his neck. It only made us closer. I licked my lips, realizing how close they were to his. It was hard not to cave into the temptation to kiss him.
"I didn't want to step on your toes."
"That's sweet." I grinned.
"You smell sweet.". I shut my eyes when he lowered his head down to rest it on my shoulder, our hands locked in mid-air as we danced to the song. I didn't even know what song it was, but it suddenly became my favorite.
"It's the…" My brain was having a hard time looking for words.
"It's not the coffee," Jay filled in the missing piece for me, stroking the side of my neck with the tip of his nose.
"You sure I don't smell like rain water?"
"No." Were those his lips on my skin?
"How much time do… do we have?" I really didn't want to leave. The side of my neck was burning from the wet kisses even when he looked at me.
"Time to do this." The flow of my thoughts broke when I felt his soft lips crashing onto mine, my hand automatically cupping the side of his face to bring it closer to my own. Nothing mattered, not even the people around us. If they could see us, then let them watch. I moaned when I felt his tongue in my mouth before going on my toes, so Jay didn't have to lean down as much and at the same time, I got more access to his mouth.
We danced the night away, our lips locked on each other's until Jay pulled back, breathing hard. "Let's go."
I nodded with my fingers still brushing the hair on the back of his head. "Will you be there?"
"Will you wait?"
"Yes." I licked my lips.
"See you then." His smile was the last thing I saw. Then, there was that bright light again. I squinted my eyes at it when it became too intense to look at. Squeezing my eyes, I felt the air change around me, literally this time. I was sure on TV this would be the part where abstract patterns were projected behind the main character as she coursed through time periods.
Out of nowhere, the air became colder and the familiar scent of coffee swirled around me once more. The man with the tall hat was gone. The blonde barista was gone. Everything that reeked old times was gone. The books in this dusty library were my only company, tons of them, but I had eyes only on one: the one Jay had picked out an hour ago. Wow, it felt way longer than that. Not the kisses. Each kiss felt too short, I thought as I touched my lips, smiling like a maniac. The hot sensation stuck with me as I bent down to grab the open book, checked it out of Hope's café—Lisa giving me a weird look when I told her not to close it— and went home.
CHAPTER 7
I set the book flat on my bed in the same manner it was in the library. I figured Jay would come back wherever the book was. It only made sense because that's how I did, twice. A little overwhelmed and flushed, I went to the bathroom, took a shower, changed, checked my room (no sign of Jay), went downstairs, heated myself some frozen lasagna, went upstairs to check the room (nothing), went back downstairs, and watched some TV.
It was eight o'clock and pitch-black outside. By now crickets were up, but there was still no sign of Jay. I couldn't help but get anxious. My bare feet thudded against the wooden floor as I bit my nails and paced around the room. Where was he? Did something happen? Was he alright?
The bed sunk when I sat down on the edge of it with my fingers digging deep into the blanket. My anxiety turned into sweat-breaking fear. What if I did something wrong? Maybe you could only come back to reality through Hope's Café. Shit. I grabbed my phone to call… who? Eva? She was always my go-to person, but this time she'd yell at me and make me feel worse than I already did. I shouldn't have touched the book. I shouldn't have checked it out. And I shouldn't have brought it here.
Another hour went by. Nothing. I was unmotivated to do anything because my spirits were ground-level low, but out of habit, I brushed my teeth, slipped off my clothes, except for my underwear, and slid into bed after putting a glass of water on the table next to me.
The darkness was horrible, but what made it worse were my darker thoughts. What if Jay ditched me again? What if he realized that I wasn't worth the time? He was the first to break the kiss. I suddenly felt hot under my collars. How could I be so stupid? Eva had warned me to stay away. But here I was, craving more of his taste when he probably wanted no part of me. A tear escaped my eyes and dampened my pillow. I turned away to the other side, sniffling like a sick dog. This was exactly what I deserved for trusting Jay.
The sound of something shifting woke me up. I hadn't even realized I had knocked out—well, more like cried myself to sleep— until I felt my eyes burning in the dark. Too enervated, I decided to go back to sleep, at the same time, forgetting about the sound. Maybe it was part of my dream. I yawned, sunk deeper under the blanket and tossed my body to the other side of the bed. Sleep was just about to kick in when I felt a tug on my blanket.
That was it: the trigger that turned on the fight or flight system in my brain. Screaming, I jerked up and reached for the switch on my lamp. I swear, I was ready to fight the robber, rapist, serial killer, whatever. My hands went for the remote control for defense, my heart pounding wildly.
"Viv, it's me!"
"Jay?" I realized it too late. I had already smacked him right in the face.
"Ow!" He held his jaw in his hand.
"I'm so sorry!" I threw the remote down. It was him. Not a serial killer. I drew out the biggest sigh of relief, rubbing my eyes to make sure I was seeing clearly. "Why would you do that?"
"I'm sorry." He moved his jaw up and down before chuckling.
"It's not funny." I groaned in my hand. "I thought you were a serial killer. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Getting hit by a remote controller was the best welcome that I ever had."
"Shut up," I mumbled, placing the remote control back on the table and pretending to be mad when, inside, I was jumping with joy. He really was here. And you are shirtless, the voice in my head reminded me.
"Shit," I cursed before pulling the blanket up to my chin. I knew Jay was trying hard not to smile, his lips pressed in a thin line. "Okay." I rolled my eyes, blushing hardcore. "I sleep almost naked."
"I'm not saying anything."
"You're thinking a lot of things. I didn't know you were coming."
"You said you'd wait." He cocked his head.
"I did. It's been like four hours," I told him.
"Really?" His eyes shot up.
&nb
sp; "What?"
"It takes longer sometimes. "
"Oh. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat."
"I'm good. Thank you. Can I have some water, though?"
"Of course." I went to grab the glass of water just as he sat down on the edge of my bed.
"Thanks." He smiled before drowning the water down. I placed the empty glass back to its place.
"Now what? Are… are you staying?" The bigger question was: did I want him to stay? Yes, I very much wanted that.
He checked his watch. "I can leave if you want me to. It's not that late."
"It's very late," I argued, frustrated. I wanted to push him down in my bed and tell him there was no way he was leaving me again. But we weren't at that point in our relationship yet. We weren't that close. Instead, I thought of subtle ways that could hint what I felt.
"Why is it so hard to just say what we both want?" he asked.
I stayed quiet asking myself the same question before I burst into a fit of giggles. "We're acting like middle schoolers."
"We are." He chuckled kicking his shoes off. "But we're grown adults, right? We know what we want?"
"Yes," I breathed. "I want you to stay."
"I will. Okay, so first time here, but I'll find my way to the couch. Just need a blanket—"
"Here."
"The blankets are here? Where?" He turned to the closet next to him.
I shook my head. "No, I want you to stay here, in my bed with me."
He sucked in a sharp breath. "That was a very grown up thing to say."
I shrugged, smirking. "I've been waiting for you." No way would I ever say that to anyone else, but Jay just had that effect on me. His cheeks flushed pink as he nodded before making his way to the other side of the bed. I got lost in his eyes all over again. So big and brown. With those lashes. We had our gazes locked on each other as he unbuttoned his shirt before letting it fall behind him. Then he unbuckled his pants and let them drop to the floor.
"There's a lot of space." I blinked, realizing I had been staring too long. Scooting over I let him crawl in next to me. My toes curled under the blanket. I hadn't felt like this, all giddy and excited, well, since forever.
"I'll turn the light off."
"As you wish," he said. His smile was the last thing I saw before I switched the lights off, the darkness enveloping the two of us. Only now, there were no dark thoughts.
"You sure you're okay with me sleeping here?"
"Hm," I hummed. "Are you okay with it?"
"Yes."
"Then come here." My heart somersaulted when he rolled over right into my arms. "Jay? You're burning up!" I propped myself up with my elbow. His forehead against the back of my hand was hot like fire.
"Don't worry about it," he said and grabbed my hand. "It'll go away in a couple of hours."
"What the hell? You're—"
"I'm fine, Vivian. It happens to me all the time."
"But—"
"Sshh." He nuzzled in my neck. "Sleep."
The thing was, I couldn't sleep. Jay was not kidding about the whole draining-of-power thing. I couldn't think of a time when I had a fever that high or anyone really. How was that humanly possible?
Guilt bubbled inside me. It just felt wrong not to help him. I wanted to get up, bring him some medicine, but his grip around me was like an iron clasp. I couldn't slip away.
Sighing, I let it go for now.
That only guided my thoughts to think about the fact that I had Jay in just his boxers in my bed. And I was practically naked. How did that even happen? How did we get so close?
I heard his sleepy voice, "You're not sleeping."
"I can't sleep."
"Yes, you can. Close your eyes."
"Easy for you to say."
"Maybe this will help," he said. I felt his lips against my cheek.
"Stop," I told him but on their own, my hands reached the back of his head as he worked his mouth on my neck. "You know why I can't sleep. Can't I bring you some medicine?"
"You're overthinking everything." Another kiss. I squeezed my eyes shut.
"I can't help it. My thoughts just spiral down."
"I'll be fine. Seriously."
"I really think you need—"
"Nothing but this." It was dark but I found his silhouette easily. He leaned closer and planted a soft kiss on my lips.
"Okay." I nodded like an idiot. As if he could see me. "Okay." After that reassurance, I calmed down. Sleep was still another mile away, but at least I had my eyes closed. Jay's temperature was dropping— a major relief that brushed thousands of scary thoughts away. He was fast asleep in my arms, breathing softly. And I couldn't be any happier. I smiled at the ceiling finally letting my mind relax as I drifted off to sleep.
I hoped Jay would be there in the morning.
Please, please let him be there.
CHAPTER 8
My eyes cracked open to the sound of something shuffling next to me.
Jay!
I turned around and found him stretching his arms above his head. His eyes barely open. He had stayed.
"Hey." I smiled. In my head, I fist-pumped the air.
He gave me a lopsided grin. "Hey."
I reached over to check his temperature. "Good. You're not burning anymore."
"I'm still hot, though, right?" he asked in a playful tone.
"Shut up." Rolling my eyes, I started to sit up, but Jay pulled on my arm, so I landed right on his chest. "So, what? Are we a thing now?" My heart beat fast as I waited for an answer. Maybe it was too early to ask that. Damn it, Vivian.
"I want us to be," he said rubbing the small of my back.
"Really?" I jerked up.
"No, I'm just here in your bed, loving your touch because I don't want us to be," he said sarcastically. A smile stretched across my face on its own.
"Well, you know, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend."
"Lucky me." He smirked.
"And we just met…"
"Not just."
"But we barely know each other."
"People wouldn't date if they had your philosophy."
"What?" I raised a brow. "What's wrong with how I think?"
"If everyone started being cautious and refused to let strangers come close to them—"
"You're right."
"What if I never started talking to you that night?"
"We wouldn't be here," I mumbled, dropping my head back on his chest as I let things sink in. Of course, he was right. I had always been a reserved person ever since I was a child and look at me. All I had was Eva, my parents, and Ron. Ron turned out to be the biggest jerk in the universe, so really, if Jay hadn't engaged with me first, I would really only have Eva and my parents.
"Exactly," Jay said. His hands brushed my dark, tangled hair back.
"It's hard for me," I admitted. "Like really hard. I can't be like you." God. I couldn't help but think about how nice he smelled. I shouldn't be thinking about that in the moment.
"So, don't. Be yourself." I was going to answer him when my phone started to ring. Literally saved by the bell. My hands gripped the blanket tighter over chest before I reached for my phone on the table. "I've already seen all of you." He shook his head, amused.
I covered his mouth with my free hand, feeling so lucky that Eva on the other end of the call couldn't see the hot blush on my face. "Eva!" I chirped a little to excitedly. "What's up?"
"Wanna meet up for breakfast? Boss is running late, so I could get to work late too."
"Sure," I said. Jay's large eyes stared back at me.
"You're all showered and stuff? I was thinking we could meet up in like half an hour."
"Yeah, I'm dressed and everything," I lied and watched crinkles form near Jay's eyes. He let out a muffled laugh.
"What was that?" Eva asked.
I thought of what to say as I got on top of Jay and pressed my hand harder over his mouth. "It was the TV. I was watching TV."
"You sound like you just ran a marathon," Eva said. I could practically see her roll her eyes. "See you in half an hour at Cameron's. Don't forget."
"I will. Okay, bye." I hung up. Then I turned to Jay. "You're the worst." He ran his tongue over my palm, which got me to retract my hand.
"You shouldn't lie, but here we are."
I scoffed. "I do have to get ready. Gotta meet Eva for breakfast."
"Yes," he said, keeping a strong grip over my waist, so I wouldn't fall back.
"You want me to make you something to eat, maybe an omelet?"
"I'll be fine," he said. "You better get ready, though."
"I have to, yes." I sighed. When I tried getting off his lap, he held my waist down. I tried wiggling out of his grip but failed miserably.
"Well?" He raised his brow. "Why aren't you getting ready?"
"I can't!" I laughed even though frustration was getting the best of me. "Let go!" His body rumbled under me, melodious laughter erupting from him.
"Okay, okay. I will but first…" My eyes widen when he puckered his lips out.
"Fine." I rolled my eyes leaning over to press a kiss on his lips. Heat pooled between my legs as Jay's hands roamed over my hips, drawing circles around them.
"You may go now." He gave me a small smack on the side of my thigh.
"You'll wait for me?" I bit my lip.
"I'll be here," he said with a smile.
"You sure you don't want me to drive you home?" I asked Jay, locking the door behind me. The air was heavy and humid. Dark clouds hovered over us like bad news. Damn, it was going to rain again.
"You'll be late to see your friend." Jay turned away from the sky and shook his head. "I'll be fine."
"I feel bad, though." I pouted. Without wanting to, I tasted the watermelon lip gloss on my lips. I totally didn't put it on for him. It totally didn't bother me that he didn't notice it. If he did, he didn't say anything about it.
He cupped my face. "Don't."
"You'll see me soon? I mean, you're not going out of town or anything?"
"No, I'll be here. I wrote down my phone number and Tate's on the card. It's in your bag."
"Oh," I said too excitedly. It got Jay amused all over again. "Yes, I'll call you."
