For the most part it was a good experience it made us realize something’s I don’t think we would have down here.” Alayah and Catherine sucked their teeth, but Destiny and Megan nodded. “I feel you its good you two were able to come to an understanding. ...So did y’all bone?” Meg asked curiously, I nearly spit out all of my white wine. “Really...is that all you think we did?” “Aha…” Alayah said pointing a finger at me. “So you admit y’all did it.” I had to laugh to keep from choking this girl. Cat shook her head. “Well girl I don’t blame you, I know his fine ass was going to wear you down sooner or later.” We all were tripping out and I had to admit I was having fun. “I can’t stand y’all. Listen whatever happened on said trip stays on said trip.” I said sternly. Destiny chimed in. “Scratch all that…So what happens now?” They all perked their ears up to hear my answer.
I took a sip of wine again and a deep breath. “I am going to do some soul searching and if I come to a decision about my marriage you will know.” They all rolled their eyes and sighed. “Look ladies this decision is not going to come lightly…I need to know what I am doing is right before I throw away seventeen years of hard work.” I preached. Megan touched my hand. “Lucy we all know this isn’t going to be easy and deep down only you know what you want to do. We just want you to weigh out all your options.” “Yeah Luce, know what you’re getting into when you make this decision.” Alayah stared at me. “I just hope whatever decision you come to is the right decision for not only you but your son as well.” They all nodded. I thought about everything that they were saying, this decision is going to affect me for the rest of my life…it has to be the right one.
I sat in the back of the church, and listened as the lead singer of the mass choir song a rendition of Fred Hammond’s no weapon. It sounded so beautiful and was exactly what I needed to hear. I enjoyed the sweet sound as their voices soothed my soul. “Yes..Yes…” Pastor Wallace said as he came to the mic. “The song says no weapon formed against me shall prosper…How many of you believe that tonight huh? Let me see you wave your hand.” The crowd cheered. “See when you believe that God is in control, the things of the world cant harm you….When you believe God is all mighty, your little everyday problems become smaller and smaller.” The entire crowd was all yes and amen. “You see Satan, is against peace and happiness for us brothers and sisters….so he will throw up stumbling blocks in our way to see when the going gets rough can we still stand.” “Yes.” the crowd cheered.
“Brothers and sisters I’m here to tell you today that whatever you going through...No matter how bad it is, now matter the circumstance, God is in the mist…Even if you can’t see no way out, you don’t know where to go or who turn to, he’s right there holding your hand ready to see you through.” “Hallelujah, Amen, Preach pastor.” the crowd yelled. I clung to every word he said and let him speak to my spirit. “And I know your tired, your hurt, your angry, your stressed but if you just lean on him…I know he will make a way out of no way…. You don’t want to give up on your blessings…You don’t want to do it…because no man has seen nor heard the things that the Lord has for them that love him amen.” Everyone stood up and clapped as Pastor Wallace ended his sermon and as the crowd left I stayed behind. “Sister Smith is that you?” The pastor spotted me in the last pew. “It has been a while since I’ve seen you here.” I nodded as Pastor Wallace took a seat beside me. “Pastor I need your help.” He nodded. “Well sister I’m all ears speak your mind.” “I want to stay with my husband but I don’t know if I can... With him and this baby…I don’t think my heart can take it.”
I confessed everything to the pastor hoping he could lead me to the right place. Pastor Wallace patted my shoulder. “Sister the Lord never puts more on you than you can bear, now this situation of yours aint easy and won’t get any easier. You have to decide yourself is your marriage worth saving.” I exhaled and looked him straight in the eye. “That’s the thing pastor I don’t know… it just seems so easy to leave.” “It always seems easier to leave especially when your problems are this bad and this is straight horrible. I mean I have yet to come across a situation this awful in my...” “Ok.” I cut off him. “I get it.” The pastor chuckled. “The thing I’m trying to say is sister that marriage is hard and grueling work but the end reward is something to look forward to. You two have reached the bottom of the barrel but that means there is nowhere else to go but up. You can’t make your mind do what your hearts don’t want to. This is where you decide if your marriage is worth fighting for…for better or for worse.”
Chapter 28
For better or for worse
Grant
It was spring in New York, the outdoors where beautiful, the parks where filled with picnics, and lovers enjoying each other. I walked through Central Park and watched the wind blow leaves and flowers through the air. This was the first time in a while I took some time to myself. This past year was one of the most difficult of my life, I have endured a lot of pain, and I have caused a lot of pain. It was a blessing I was still standing tall. My marriage was still in limbo with no chance of getting better; I was tired of hoping and praying that things would take a turn. I could apologize for a lot of things but I couldn’t apologize for Gage being born. I had to face some hard facts about my marriage, that maybe I may end up being alone, if Lucy couldn’t forgive me and except Gage as my son then there was no way we could move forward; Even if it was breaking my heart. I felt a slight breeze through the air; I wrapped my dark coat around me and found an empty bench. I took a deep breath and smiled at all the love in the air but I just wished I had some love of my own.
“Is this seat taken?” I heard a familiar voice that made my heart stop, clearly I thought I was imagining things, but when I looked up she was as real as could get. She stood No taller than 5’4, pretty dark brown skin, and that curly midnight hair. “Please...have a seat.” I motioned for Lucy to sit down. She looked beautiful in her mint green coat. “It’s a nice day out huh?” She flashed a smile at me and I refused to take my eyes off of her. “Yeah its one for the books…..how I have you been?” “Good…I have been good.” Lucy peered out at the atmosphere and smiled. “But I could be better.” My heart was beating out of my chest I couldn’t bare this anticipation any longer. “I miss you...” she said the words I have been dying to her for so long and they sounded sweeter than I could have imagined. “Grant I have been trying to move forward with my life…and I just can’t…I want to be with you….I want us to be...” I cut her off and placed my tongue inside that beautiful mouth of hers, I held her so tight you would have thought we were one; it was beautiful, it was passionate, it was real love. After what felt like hours I released my grip on her and let us both breathe.
I was so excited, this was what I had been waiting for, but before we went any further there was some things I needed to know. I pulled her face up to mine to have her full attention. “Lucy I want you, I want this, but I need to know….I need to know that you are willing to forgive me and except…except the fact that I have son with someone else. Can you do that baby? Can you?” She eased away from me and looked down. I tensed hoping that she wouldn’t say what I think she was going to say. She took a deep breath before speaking. “Grant I love you and I am willing to make this work. But I can’t promise you anything right now…other than I am willing to try.” I took a good hard look at her, I saw how hard it was for her to say that and saw the sincerity in her eyes. “That’s good enough for me.” I nodded. “That’s good enough for me.” I took hold to her mouth once again not caring that we were getting hot and heavy in a public place. “Grant baby we can’t do this here.” She said struggling to pull away from me. I eased off. “Your right….my car is somewhere around here let’s go find it.” We laughed at my eagerness and walked hand in hand together. We had no care for tomorrow but we thanked God for today.
***
Lucy/ 2005
Whew today was my first day on the job and damn was it stressful, I just wan
ted to go home take a good and quick shower and hit the sheets. I was a little irritated by Grant, I had been calling him all day and he hadn’t picked up not even once. I don’t know why but I feared the worse, it was not like him to go one day without even calling me, I was sure going to let his ass have it as soon as I came home. I turned my key in the lock and walked into the dark apartment, “Grant…Grant where are you?” It was pitch black in the whole place but I saw a light flicker and heard soft music playing in the bedroom. My body tensed and my skin grew tight as I walked slowly to our bed we shared together. I heard moving around through the door and feared the worse. That bastard, does he have someone in there? I thought.
I quickly ran to the kitchen removed my shoes and earrings and pre pared for battle. After all I had been through with this bastard I’ll be damned if he cheats on me and thinks he’s going to get away with it. I eased back into the hall and slowly turned the doorknob. I burst into the room to see candles lit everywhere, rose pedals on the floor, and Grant standing in the middle of the room dressed to go to a ball. I was taken back. “Grant…what’s going on?” He looked so handsome in his suit but also nervous like he didn’t want to mess anything up. “Hey woman…We have been together for a long time…and we have overcome some trials and tribulations…you asked me earlier to prove that I love you. I am ready to do that right here and right now.” He knelt done on his knee and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes. “Natalia Lucy Dobson…I love you more than anything in this world…now I want to love you until the day I die…will you marry me?” He barely got the sentence out before I tackled him to the ground and showered him with kisses. “Yes…baby yes…I love you. I want to marry you.” I slobbered him down trying to kiss every place possible until he had to pry me off. He brought my face to his and cleared his throat, “Tonight….I want to do this tonight.” “What?” I couldn’t believe it. “Tonight? You want to get married tonight?”
He planted another big kiss on my lips and nodded. “But baby what about a dress; I don’t have a dress and my family and friends, and your family. What...” He cut me off. “Everything has been taken care of, our friends and families are all waiting at the church, along with your dress.” I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to think clearly. “Tonight?” “Tonight.” “What are we waiting for? Let’s do it.” I jumped up and began to head to the door but Grant blocked my path. He began to kiss and caress me back towards the bed. “But… Grant what about everybody at the church?” He started to unbuckle his pants and I knew it was no more talking. “They have been waiting all day, and they can wait thirty more minutes. Come here.” As we began to make love one last time as a single people, I couldn’t help but relish the moment, the moment when I said I do to the man I love and who loves me.
Epilogue
Alexia
I hummed to my newborn as he went to sleep and placed him in the crib. The crib his father put together for him. The stress of having a child was nowhere near as stressful as trying to win the man you love. This past year I have done things to keep my man that I may burn in hell for, but I was willing to endure anything to keep Grant Smith in my bed. I remember slipping away from the nurses when I saw her heading for the exit stairwell, she looked so pitiful and weak no wonder why he wanted me. I figured a little push could make all my problems go away, one little push could get me the man I loved forever and it almost happened that way. I shook my head at the thought, that bitch was supposed to be dead.
I looked at my little boy who lied sleeping in his crib; he was my last chance of keeping Grant. Grant hardly ever thought to use condoms when we were intimate, so when I missed a pill or two occasionally I knew it was a matter of time before I became pregnant with his child. He wanted to run at first but he couldn’t deny his seed growing inside my belly. And to think he still saw a future with his wife, how foolish, she was never going to be able to handle my son being a permanent part of his life. No matter how much she fooled herself into believing she could. And I was going to make damn sure Gage and I were a known presence in that bitches life. I wrapped my robe tight around my body and chuckled to myself. Lucy didn’t realize what I had in store for her, but it was coming….and it was going to be big.
The End
About the Author
My name is Desirae Williams, I was raised in Lake City, Florida where I have lived all of my life and now I reside in Orlando. I took a strong liking to books at a very young age and have maintained that same passion as an adult. I have always indulged myself in reading many books from different authors some of which inspired me to create my own work. Writing for me came a little later in my years; it first started out with poems, short stories until I finally created my first novel. I have now been inspired to showcase my talent to the world in hopes to entertain and inspire others. Now that I am pursing further education I choose to continue to grow in the knowledge of reading and writing. I hope you all will join me on this journey in helping me achieve success through my work.
Other Books by the Author
Lyfe Changing
Derrick Lyfe is a well-known criminal throughout the streets of New York. Since his teen years he has made a career of robbing and hustling any and every drug dealer he and his friends came across. After taking on a high ranking chief of the drug world named Julio, he soon finds himself in accident that turns his life upside down.
Destiny is a former lawyer now art gallery owner. After sneaking away for the weekend she comes across a wounded and battered Derrick. Her first instinct of course his to help him but she didn’t plan on developing feelings for him as well. Through the course of their time together these two grow a strong connection due to both of them surviving a very fatal situation. All though they appear to be very opposite they both cannot deny the attraction the feel for one another.
For better or For worse 2
Heartbroken by her husband’s affair and unable to accept his son by another woman, Lucy finally breaks down and files for divorce. The separation not only puts her at odds with her estranged husband but also with her son Greg, who is angered by his father’s departure. In the midst of the confusion Lucy finds another suitor who seems like the answer to her prayers but she soon finds that he may not be the knight and shining armor she thought he was.
Grant is devastated when Lucy finally gives up on their marriage. Although he knows he is responsible for her heartbreak, he is still angered that she wants to move on without him even though his sour attitude is affecting their son. Grant is forced to move on without Lucy, but can he truly let go of the love of his life?
A Woman’s worth
Catherine Hubert is a successful career woman who has taken the corporate world by storm. She has made a name for herself as one of the best accountants in New York City. From the outside looking in everyone thinks she has it all, but Cat can’t seem to find true happiness. After a broken engagement, Cat’s insecurities and faith in love are at an all-time low. That is until a handsome neighbor moves in next door.
Emilio Lombardi is a free spirited photographer who loves to capture life’s most beautiful moments on film. When he sees Cat he thinks he has found his Mona Lisa and stops at nothing to pursue her, but her broken heart and their cultural differences continuously puts them at odds. Will these two souls finally connect or will life’s obstacles keep them separate?
For Better or For Worse Page 19
