by M. N. Forgy
“Breathe, Dani. I won’t bite unless you want me too.” He winks.
Oh my God, don’t wink at me. My thighs clinch at the desire surfing up my legs.
I sit up on the bed, Shadow’s face inches from mine. My eyes fall on his pouty lips. I wonder what they feel like on a woman’s skin. I lick my lips, wanting to taste his; taste him. Breaking my eye contact from his lips, I look up into his stormy eyes and notice he’s staring at my lips as well. With a sudden feeling of courage, I push myself forward and brush my lips against his; testing him, hoping for a reaction. He pulls back, studying my face. My sudden feeling of courage rapidly turns back into butterflies. Does he want me as bad as I want him? Does he feel the attraction between us?
He lets out a growl as he roughly grabs me by the legs and swings them over the side of the bed. His fingers dig deep into my skin. Lifting me by my ass, he slams me back against the wall. His lips crash into mine, his tongue demanding entry. I accept the intrusion, he tastes incredible and dangerous. He snakes his hand away from one of my ass cheeks and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling it tightly. He is being rough, as if showing me the kind of guy he is. Little does he know I can’t get enough of it. My hands clinch the front of his shirt to pull our bodies closer; my legs wrapping tighter around his waist. I can’t believe what I’m doing; my mother warned me to stay away. But, I can’t help myself, I know I’m playing with the devil himself and I want more!
Suddenly, he pulls away, nearly dropping me on my ass. “I can’t do this, Dani,” he whispers hoarsely. “And you would do well to stay clear of me...”
“What?” The fire lit between us is doused with arctic water. I try to compose myself, feeling cheap and easy. His sudden iciness drowns my arousal, drenching me with anger.
“You would just get hurt in the end,” he says, running his hands through his choppy hair, his tone arrogant. He looks me up and down, making me feel like I can’t handle him. “Trust me.”
“I’m a big girl, I can handle myself,” I fire back.
He scoffs, pissing me off more. I try to push him out of my way, and he grabs my wrist pulling my body back to within inches of his. I try to pull my wrist free, but he just tightens his grip.
“I am not one of your little boys back in New York trying to play businessman, Dani,” he sneers. “If you were mine I would fuck you within an inch of your life every chance I got. I would show you what that body of yours is capable of. He is whispering now, his lips brushing against my skin. “But in reality, you can never be mine.” His tone is suddenly cold. He pushes me away from him. My body is confused. Am I turned on or pissed? I hate him, but I still want him.
“You’re the president’s daughter. I don’t look forward to having my nuts on a platter anytime soon,” he says with a sudden scowl.
A knock sounds at the door and it immediately opens.
“Shadow, let me have a word with my daughter,” Bull demands as he enters the room.
“What’s your full name, Dani?” Bull sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to him, inviting me to sit. I oblige.
“Danielle Lexington,” I manage to choke out; the severity of the situation still overwhelming.
“I see your mother gave you her last name,” he sneers.
“What’s your name, I know it’s not Bull.”
“Leo Goodmen.”
“Why do they call you Bull?”
He chuckles, his eyebrows rising, “They say I’m bull-headed.”
“Funny, my mother has said that to me countless times,” I respond back. I see myself in this man more in the last five seconds than I have my mother my whole life.
He runs his hands through his thick black hair. “If I had known you existed, Dani, I would have been there. I will never forgive your mother. I can only imagine the things she has said about me over the years. When she left, we were not on the best of terms.” He looks at me with a sad face.
“Only to say I was acting like my father. If I asked about you, she would just ignore me. She is a very private person, about everything. She works a lot, too. So we haven’t really bonded.” I respond truthfully. “I just found out about you on the plane ride.”
“Well, your mom told me everything that happened. You guys are going to stay here until things blow over, you’ll be free from danger here. I would put you guys up in our safe house but we have a charity event coming up and we have other chapters already held up there.”
“Charity event?” I was shocked to hear that outlaws were hosting a charity event.
“Yeah, some little boy and his mother were hit by a drunk driver. They can’t afford the doctor bills so we rebuilt a bike we’re going to auction off for the family. Things will get crazy here during the after party. I know I haven’t been your dad more than ten minutes, but I would rather you stay in this room when the party comes back here.” He has such sorrow and regret in his voice. I couldn’t hate this man if I wanted to. I know as well as anyone my mother is a hard person to love. What happened when they were younger is none of my business, but something tells me he’s not as bad as my mother portrays him to be.
My mom opens the door, not even bothering to knock. She avoids eye contact with my father. “Thanks for having us here, Bull, we already feel welcomed,” her tone fake as she rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, anything to keep my daughter safe, Lady.” He can tell by her tone she is being a bitch.
“Yes, I can see you're such a great father,” she retorts, throwing her hands on her hips as her eyebrows furrow.
“If it wasn't for her, I would send your ungrateful ass packing,” he yells, pointing at the door. His body, so huge and tense; his voice, ominous and rough, makes me scared. “What you did was unforgivable, not telling me I had a daughter.” He’s not wrong there. I am still floored she never told him about me; something I'm not sure I will ever forgive her for either.
“Why in the hell would I tell you? You told me you didn’t want me. I gave up everything to be with you, and you made it more than clear you didn’t care.” Her voice is quivering; emotional. I have never seen my mother have any kind of emotion. I never thought she was human enough for it, she practically taught me to hide my feelings.
“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want her, and you know it,” he snaps, pointing in my direction. “And, I never said I didn’t want you.” His vicious tone turns cold, making me shift in my seat. This is so uncomfortable; can I go get a soda or something?
“I didn’t want this life for her, she is on a great path, she has a future and it’s not biker trash.”
Ouch.
He stood silent. This is so awkward, but I am with my father on this one. I glare at my mother, she is pissing all over him when he has been kind enough to help us out with the shit she got us into.
“That’s how you see me, huh? Biker trash,” he says softly, hurt.
I stand, not sure what to say, but I can't allow my mother to trample on him anymore.
“There’s a room at the end of the hall you can stay in, Lady. This is a lot for Dani to take in. I'm sure she could use some alone time.”
“Don’t tell me what my daughter needs, you know nothing about her,” her face scrunches. ”She needs her mother and that is what she will have. Don’t you have some slut to attend to?”
“Enough!” I yell, throwing my hands up. I can’t take this back and forth bickering any longer, damn. I thought Shadow said they were hashing it out earlier.
Bull turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him. My mother falls on the bed and rests her head in her hands.
“I never should have brought you here. I shouldn’t have involved you.” She lifts her head to look at me. “I know your head is spinning with the disgust of this place, and that man that calls himself your father.”
“I agree with him, Mother; I need some space.” She looks up at me with disbelief. It's not very often I disagree with her. “I know you are going through something terrible with Stevin right now, but how could y
ou keep all this from me. I deserved to know, and you were selfish not to tell me. Just because Bull didn’t want you, didn’t mean he didn’t want to be my father. Do you know how hard it was growing up without a father, and then to make it worse you refused to tell me anything about him.”
She scoffs at my response. “Don’t be so dramatic.
“I did what I thought was right, Dani. You are not one of these people; you are better.” She shocks me, I have never heard her say I was a good person, or better than anyone for that matter. Who is she trying to fool with this mommy of the year bullshit? “I will give you space,” she continues, “but you tell me if you see anything you're uncomfortable with; anything. If one of them comes on to you, you tell me. They’re pigs, savages. A beautiful girl like you, they will come flying to your door.” She stands, making her way toward the door. “Hopefully they are smart and stay away, you being the president’s daughter,” she mumbles.
“Yeah, I get it, Mom. They are bad, mean, nasty, biker trash,” I mock. I open the door, trying to get her the hell out. I’m confused with all of this, I don’t think they are the enemy. In fact, I find it all to be sort of familiar. Maybe I was destined to be biker trash. I can literally feel the walls of school, religion, appearance, anything that wasn’t my father; collapsing around me. I am numb now; I don’t know what I feel or want anymore. Everything I ever believed is a lie. I don’t know who I am anymore.
The last several days have been mostly uneventful. My mother keeps her distance for the most part. She just keeps asking if anyone is bothering me; playing her role of concerned mother. Bull and I are getting closer. For the most part, we've only been able to talk about movies and music, because, of course, my mother butts in any chance she gets. She has really been pissing me off.
I also scoped out the rest of the clubhouse and met an 'Ol’ Lady' named Babs. She is married to Locks. She has bright red hair and green eyes. Her body is thick and her manner is spitfire; I love her already. She's been teaching me a lot of biker slang, like that 'Ol' Lady' means a woman belongs to a club member and is off limits. I've even met some of the club whores; that’s what Babs calls them, anyway; Juliet, a tattooed redhead; Lips, a thick figured brunette with obvious lip injections; and Candy, a busty blond with obvious boob injections.
Juliet is gorgeous. She has sleeves of inked stars and hearts and everything else you could imagine tattooed all over her arms. I’m sure when she's naked there are more. She wears them well. It actually makes me want to get a tattoo. Funny, I used to think girls with tattoos were trashy.
Lips is chunky but not fat. She has light freckles all over her face. She is beautiful and dresses very classy; she doesn't really look like a club whore at all.
Candy doesn't seem to like me; she avoids eye contact and her body language is very cold toward me. She is skinny; like super model skinny, and wears hardly any clothing. Her attitude screams bitch and reminds me a lot of my mother. I’m sure we’ll butt heads before this charade is over.
I've seen Shadow pop in and out of the club here and there. He comes in covered in grease and makes my heart do that flip-flop thing. We don't talk to each other; we try to keep our distance. But I catch him staring at me a lot. He stares at me with hungry eyes and the most breathtaking, yet arrogant smile a man can have. He makes my sex clench and dampen with every megawatt smile; he is so infuriating. A few times, when he had to walk past me, he would brush his arm against mine. The spot he briefly made contact with would feel ablaze. It's the worst foreplay ever; pure sexual torture. His pouty lips, beefy arms, chiseled abs, cute butt and amazing dimples make my lips swell with the anticipation of exploring every inch of him.
It's been a few days since I've seen Shadow, so I casually bring up to Babs that I've noticed some of the men missing. “They've gone on a bike run, Hun. Something the boys do to handle club business. They should be back soon.” She's wiping the bar clean after feeding me a delicious breakfast. “Other than that, we don’t get the privilege of knowing what their runs consist of or how long they'll be out.” I am shocked to realize that while her husband is gone doing god knows what or for how long, she just stays at the house and plays Betty Crocker for the rest of the club men. She talks a lot about club rules and the responsibilities of being an Ol' Lady. If this is one of the duties, I'm not sure I'd make a good one.
It’s midnight and I'm wide awake listening to my iPod. Music has always been an outlet for my emotions. In my roughest troubles it speaks the words of healing that I can’t find for myself. I haven’t been able to sleep this entire week; it’s all so new to me. My stomach speaks, too, with a growl, so I grab some plaid shorts to throw on. Maybe if I eat I can finally fall asleep. I tuck my iPod in the waist of my shorts and hang the headphones around my neck. I see my bra on the floor and the lacy thing reminds me I am only wearing a thin, black tank top without a bra. It’s so late I doubt anyone will be up. I’ll just grab a bite and run back here. I open the door and notice most of the lights are off in the hallway. But I can tell there are lights on in the main room that has the bar. I tip toe down the hallway and into the kitchen quietly, not noticing anyone in my quick jaunt.
I open the big, stainless steel refrigerator and see food stocked on all the shelves; clearly for the upcoming charity event. I grab a dish and open it to find barbecued pulled pork; the smell capturing my senses and making my stomach growl louder. I pull it out and set it on the counter. Plates, pork, buns, and a microwave; perfect! Katy Perry's “Dark Horse” starts blaring through my head phones, reminding me I still have my iPod. I love this song, so I put the headphones back on and start dancing around the kitchen looking for the things to complete my meal. I get sucked into the song and start singing, but try not to get too loud.
As the song finally finishes, I have everything I need on the counter. I put the pulled pork in the microwave to heat and hear a deep laugh. My heart skips a beat. Yanking the headphones off my head, I spin in the direction of the sound to find Shadow.
He’s leaning against a counter wearing gray sweat pants that hang off his hips in a very delicious way. He’s not wearing a shirt, allowing me to see his tight, lick-worthy stomach. He's holding a tub of chocolate ice cream and as his arm moves in to scoop a spoonful, I notice the tattoo on his bicep is a very detailed, black raven sitting on a skull. His hair is wet as if he just got out of the shower. A trickle of water falls carelessly from his hair onto his chest making me pant.
“Don’t mind me, just enjoying dinner and a show. Please, keep going.” He winks.
I scowl back at him. How dare he just gawk at me in a private moment and when the hell did he get back, anyway? Then he licks the spoon clean of anything chocolate; his tongue assaulting without mercy. My lips part and a small moan escapes my mouth.
“See something you like?” he asks, flaunting a playboy smile.
I roll my eyes and look back at the microwave, adjusting my plate and BBQ sauce. I try to think of something to say but come up with nothing. The microwave beeps and I grab my plate quickly, ignoring the painful burn the plate brings. I shrug, letting it bang to the counter. “I just notice you're not wearing your vest.” I say, not completely lying.
“A vest? You mean my cut?” he asks, almost offended. I shrug again, trying to act disinterested. I know he’s still there. I can feel him; his presence. It’s beautiful but embodies a hint of beast. I turn my head slightly, catching him in my peripheral. He’s still leaning on the counter, watching me.
“Do you have a problem?” I say sharply, turning in his direction. Little fake giggles come from the bar in the next room, catching my attention. Shadow also looks at the door briefly before turning back to me, with a lewd glare. I just put myself in a trap; shit.
“Yeah, I guess you could say I have a problem.” He eyes me up and down, his tone sexual, suggesting I could fix his problem.
“Yes, please let me fix your problem,” my inside screams within the depths of sexual tension. But I remind myself of his fake
charm; how he’s so cocky and infuriating; the games he likes to play. He’s a womanizer, and I won’t be easy; even if it kills me.
I laugh and turn seductively, leaning over the island separating us. I notice his breath catch, confirming that I affect him and making this that much harder. I lick my lips slowly, eyeing him up and down as he had done to me.
“Well, then, I suggest you have one of them...” my eyes dart to the door where the giggles continue, “...fix your little...” my eyes snap to his groin where I'm sure it’s anything but little, “...problem.” My tone is cold and distant.
I turn to reach for my plate and Shadow leaps over the counter. He tangles his hand in my hair making my scalp burn. Pulling my head back, he thrusts his pelvis into my ass, his length anything but little. The roughness has my veins rushing with erotic pleasure. Warmth floods my wet entrance, shouting for Shadow to have his way with me. My body’s reaction causes me to blush.
He leans his face next to my ear, his breath smelling of chocolate making me want him more. I moan, my body defying the warnings in my mind. “You can try and act like you don’t want me, that you have control,” he breathes into my ear as he thrusts his groin harder against me. He's still pulling my hair, making me arch my back. He slowly pulls his hips away and my ass thrusts itself against his groin trying to regain contact. The action takes me by surprise. Shadow lets out a vicious laugh. “But your body can’t lie,” he nips my earlobe making me practically come on the spot, the pain shooting to my toes making them curl with pleasure, “you have no power.”
He growls and pushes me forward releasing my hair and body. The shocking loss of heat is like a slap in the face. I watch him walk away; his bare back beautifully tattooed with the club name and emblem. Suddenly, I feel cheap and used and I want to slap the cockiness right out of him.
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My midnight snack took some of the gnawing from my stomach and after lots of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep. This morning, though, I just want to stay in my room. I'm still mad at myself for wanting Shadow, and at my traitorous body.
