by M. N. Forgy
She points at me. ”That boy you are hanging around... keep your distance. He just wants in your pants; you being the president’s daughter won’t stop him. I got an earful of the kind of man he is. He is a womanizer and he’s messed up in the head,” she bluntly spits at me.
Now I can’t look her in the eyes. I'm afraid she might see I'm not as pure as I was when we arrived here.
“Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet,” I justify. Looking at my closet right now, I can relate.
“If I hear of that boy trying to push himself on you, I will get your father involved. Messing with the president’s daughter does not go without repercussions.”
Gee, I wonder if she said those same lines to all the boyfriends I had growing up, that would explain them suddenly dumping me.
“Why did we come here if you hate my father so much; if you hate everything about this place,” I calmly point out.
She sighs wearily. ”I had no choice. It’s what had to be done,” she whispers, her head hung low.
She steps close to me. “Before you go thinking you belong, know your place here. There are club laws; some you will never be able to identify with.” She straightens her clothes and leaves.
I sigh tiredly as the door closes. Wow. Who knew just wearing a t-shirt would make my mother go bat-shit crazy. Maybe she needed my shrink more than I did. Seems she has a lot of issues with the Club, so being here is still a mystery to me. And what did she mean by she got an earful of how Shadow was messed up? I turn to the closet, waiting for Shadow to come out.
“Shadow?”
He opens the door and walks out, his presence actually bringing calm to my battered psyche.
“You okay?” he asks.
“As okay as I can be. Sorry you had to hear all that.”
He shakes his head as if he’s not bothered by it.
“What did she mean about you being messed up?” I ask. I got the part about him being a womanizer. That was no shocker. It still stung to hear it after just sleeping with him, though.
“Everyone has a past, Dani. I’m not perfect; I told you that before you climbed in bed with me,” he barks back.
Another knock at the door snaps us from our conversation.
“Damn, you’re popular,” he says irritated. I raise my eyebrows and dart my eyes toward the closet. “Again, really?” He asks flippantly while climbing back into the closet.
With Shadow hiding, I yell, “come in!”
In comes Candy; this ought to be good. She has on a tiny black dress with black hooker-heels. Her blond hair is in beautiful curls hanging loosely around her shoulders. She is beautiful, yet slutty at the same time. I hate her.
“Is Shadow in here?” she asks sweetly.
“No, I’m staying in here,” I inform her.
“Right. I’m pretty sure I saw him come in here,” she replies with a high amount of bitch in her voice.
“Right. Well as you can see, no Shadow in here.” I return with as much bitch as I can muster.
“You’re cute.” Her sweet tone is as fake as her boobs.
“I can see why Shadow likes you,” she laughs like she has a secret I am oblivious to.
“Is that right?” I ask, curious at what she is getting at, but trying not to sound it.
“He’s going to eat that innocence and spit you out, honey. That is, if he hasn’t already.” She puts her hands on her hips, proud of herself.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lie, still feeling defensive.
“I have been with Shadow for years. I have seen girls come and go. You don’t think just because you’re sweet and innocent that he cares about you; that you can tame him, do you? As soon as he’s done with you, he’ll come running back to me. He always does. In the meantime, next time you kiss those lips remember they were on me not so long before you. His cock? In me as well. Shadow can’t get enough of Candy.” She sticks her nose in the air as she verbally slaps me.
My palms are sweaty and my breath is getting shallow. Here is yet another confirmation that I am just a notch on Shadow's bedpost. How many times do I have to hear it? She gets to have Shadow as much as she wants and she's rubbing it in. I am jealous of the whore; what an all-time low.
She turns to walk out but stops; her body half out of the doorway.
“Oh, and shame on you. If Bull finds out you are fucking with Shadow, only God knows what he’ll do.” She turns back around and rests her hip on the door frame. This isn’t the first time I've heard that my dad will kill Shadow for messing around with me. It's hard to wrap my mind around.
Seeing the turmoil on my face, she laughs. “It’s law. No one can mess around with the President's daughter behind his back and not be punished. “Despite the smile still on her lips, her tone is serious. “And I’m sure your mother won’t like it either. Seems you and she are whores in the same, huh, sleeping with men you have no business messing around with.” She spins on her shiny black stiletto and walks out.
I let out the breath I had been holding. I am more of a mess than I want to be over Shadow. I thought I would be okay being a one-night stand or maybe even a causal fling. But after hearing it from the two most spiteful women I've met in my life, the pain seems unbearable. The thought that I was nothing but sloppy seconds after Candy hit all the wrong notes.
Shadow opens the closet door slowly. My body is wound as tight as a viper. He approaches with caution. “Dani?” he says with concern.
“Just get the hell out.” I say quietly, avoiding eye contact.
“Dani, calm down and let me explain,” he demands.
There is nothing to explain. I am just a challenge for Shadow; a score for him. Not only did he get to bang the president's daughter, he also got to take her innocence. I'm just one big joke to him. I feel regret wash over me. I want to go back to feeling numb. Feeling numb wins over feeling used.
“No, I don’t want you to explain, just get the fuck out of my room now.” I look directly into those damaged eyes. ”I don’t want you near me, ever,” I say calmly, hoping to get my point across. He just stands there, looking dumbfounded.
I push him at the door, trying to hold back my tears. “Get out, biker trash” I yell, noticing in my time of distress I sound exactly like my mother, and damaging my ego that much more. ”I will not be your shiny new toy whenever you’re bored.” I slam the door in his face.
I lock the door and slump to the floor. How could I be so naive? Did I really think that just because I gave Shadow my virginity that we would somehow be a couple now; that he would suddenly care for me? Man, I’m clueless. I was just new ass to him; a game. His words from our first kiss instantly play in my head, “But in reality, you could never be mine.” I am so angry at myself, how could I see Shadow as anything less than a playboy. Why would he want someone like me, when he had biker babes dropping their panties for him?
“Whats going on out here?” I could hear Bull through the door.
“Eh, she’s not happy I have to follow her around everywhere,” Shadow says. What? This is news to me. Why does the asshole have to follow me around everywhere? As if I wasn’t humiliated enough, now I have to endure being around him 24/7.
“Yeah, I didn’t think she would be happy about it,” Bull proclaims. ”Her mother will be even more pissed.”
“Dani, open up.” Bull demands.
I sit here against the door, ignoring his request. I need time to process everything, alone.
“Darlin, I just need to make sure you're safe. Not only from your mother's shithead boyfriend; we have enemies too. It’s just safer this way. Shadow won't mess with you. If he does he will answer to me.” His voice is sincere; he's just trying to make sure I stay safe. I still can’t bring myself to respond, all I want is to scream.
Now is when I wish I had a best friend; someone I could spill out everything to. They could tell me what to do. I’m sure my shrink, Victoria, would have a field day with all this information. I have to get myself together;
I can't let Shadow or that whore, Candy, see how distraught I am. I knew when I let him take me, it might end badly. In all honesty, I would rather live with this regret, than to never have had the experience. I've felt so alive being with Shadow. It is going to be hard going back to the numbness that succumbed me before.
Apparently the safe house has been cleaned and readied for our arrival. I use the time cramming my dirty clothes back into my suitcase to steady my breathing and calm down. I don't know how long I'm going to have to endure Shadow as my bodyguard, but I know I need to keep my wits about me. I go to my mom's room to check on her but she's still trying to gather up all her belongings, so I head out to the parking lot alone.
As I approach the vehicle taking us to the safe house, a blond, curly haired guy with tattoos all up his arms reaches out for my bag. A tattoo on his left hand catches my attention: TCB. My eyes widen; my body goes stiff. This is the guy I used to make Shadow jealous last night; Bobby, if I remember right.
“Well, hello there.” He’s charming, like all of the bikers I've met so far.
“Uh, hello,” I respond, unsure if he recognizes me and feeling like a complete idiot. He has light blue eyes and little freckles here and there across his cheeks. He’s pretty. Yes, a pretty boy. Bobby looks like he belongs on the cover of a magazine despite the tattoos and biker aura. Looking at the knock out grin, I'm sure he is just as much of a panty dropper as Shadow.
“I got her bag, Bobby. Thanks.” Shadow comes up behind me, taking the suitcase from Bobby’s hands. The man is relentless. What did he not understand about stay away from me? What is his angle, to try and keep me as his shiny new toy, or did he feel sorry for me? Either way, I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction!
“I can handle it myself, thank you very much.” I grab the suitcase from Shadow, who won't let go.
“Give me the damn suitcase, Dani,” he barks, with cold finality in his voice.
Bobby’s mouth raises into a Cheshire cat grin. “Trouble in paradise?” he asks amusingly, staring at both of us. I’m sure we look a mess, playing tug of war with a pink suitcase.
“Fine, take it,” I say, letting go. Growling within his muscled chest, Shadow throws my bag in the back of the SUV.
“Can one of you make yourselves useful and grab my bag, it's heavy,” my mother interrupts, stumbling out of the clubhouse doors.
Shadow and Bobby eyeball each other before Bobby gives in and grabs her bag.
My mother and I settle into the back seat as Shadow and Bobby straddle their bikes behind us. The prospect with the Mohawk who brought us from the airport is behind the wheel of the SUV again.
“What’s your name,” I ask, tapping him on the shoulder. “You have driven us around twice now and I still don’t know your name?” I'm surprised at my sudden boldness.
“Charlie.” I waited for him to say more. Nope, short and to the point.
Seeing he isn’t much for talking, I sit back and remain silent for the rest of the ride. My mother is busy messing with her phone; she is always on that damn thing. Her face isn’t swollen anymore. She looks like her normal self.
We drive north out of L.A. and I watch the urban streets fade away before we pull into a suburban neighborhood. We stop in the driveway of a two story house. It is cute and simple from the outside; not something I would peg a motorcycle club to have. When we climb out of the SUV, Bobby and Shadow pull in behind us. The raw masculinity coming from the bikes makes my body vibrate with arousal.
Shadow climbs off his bike and pulls his phone from his pocket. “What!” he barks into the line. He takes his other hand and runs it over his head back and forth, fluffing up that sexy black hair of his.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have anything... Don’t make threats at me, or I’ll fucking put you in the ground!” He stabs his finger at the end button in fury and jams the phone back in his pocket. Bobby raises his eyebrows in concern, but Shadow throws his hand up like “not now”. Odd.
I don’t even attempt to grab my suitcase and risk having another episode in front of my mother. I walk up to the door and wait for everyone.
“It’s a three bedroom,” Bobby says as he unlocks the giant white door. “The master is downstairs; I figured you would want it, Lady. Upstairs are two bedrooms and a small bath. Shadow and I can bunk in one room and you can have the other, Dani.”
We step in to a small entry area with stairs leading to the second floor immediately to the right. The living room is to the left and is done in soothing tan with touches of red and black. It looks very inviting and cozy.
As I start up the stairs, my mom catches my elbow. “Are you going to be alright up there by yourself?” she questions, as she eyes Bobby and Shadow. Ah, she's off her phone and back in “concerned mom mode”.
“Yeah, I'll be fine, I’ll lock the door. No worries,” I respond, pulling my elbow from her grip.
I stop at the top of the stairs; unsure of where to go. Across from me is one of the bedrooms and there's a hall that shoots off to the left, where I assume the bathroom and other bedroom are.
“Bobby and I will take this room; it has two beds in it. You can take the one down the hall,” Shadow says from behind me. I can hear Bobby's muted voice explaining where everything is to my mom. I’m sure she is ignoring him, though.
I grab my suitcase from Shadow's hand, our fingers briefly making contact, causing electricity to fly through me. I hold my breath and turn down the hall where the other bedroom is in an attempt to show the touch went unnoticed. As I am walking away he grabs the belt loop to my shorts.
“I still want to explain things,” he says softly. As much as I want him to explain, it’s best if he doesn’t and just stays away.
“I think it’s a little late for that, don’t you“? I say raising my eyebrows in irritation. I start walking down the hall and he grabs me by the arm, halting me once again. His touch sends a blazing fire of warmth rippling up my sensitive skin.
“No, it’s not too late if you will stop being a stuck up bitch for a second and hear me out,” he protests.
Infuriated with his tone and his accusations I pull my arm from his grip and continue down the hall. I really want to slap him in his face again.
“I’m not Candy, Shadow. You were right, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. I expect a little more than to be someone’s sloppy seconds. I take responsibility for being inexperienced and expecting more,” I say, with animosity lacing every word. I open the door to the room I am staying in and turn to slam and lock it in Shadow's face.
“You can’t avoid me forever, Dani,” his muffled voice vibrates through the door. He is relentless and I hate him for it. If he keeps this up I don’t know how much longer I can resist him. I want him, but I don’t want to have him unless I know he is all mine.
“I see you already managed to fuck that up,” Bobby's voice is mumbled so I gently place my ear against the door to hear better.
“So when Bull kills you, can I have your bike?” Bobby asks, his tone completely serious.
“Why, tired of that Bobber? Ready for a real man’s bike,” Shadow jokes.
“Yeah that’s it.”
“She’s being a bitch. I knew I shouldn’t have fucked around with a civilian, especially her.” Shadow says, his tone serious now. What does he mean by civilian? Is the club that out of civilization that I’m considered a civilian?
“Might be for the best, man. That’s one pussy you don’t want to fuck with. Cut your losses.” Bobby says, his voice clipped and cold.
Instantly, I'm pissed. As much as Shadow and I should stay apart, that’s not what I want: no matter how much I tell myself it is.
“I can’t even fucking think straight,” Shadow admits. I smile knowing I affect him, I wonder if any of the other girls he’s been with affect him to the point he can’t think straight?
“Whippah!” Bobby hollers. Not sure if I made out what he was saying through the door, I press my ear harder aga
inst it.
“I am not pussy whipped, fucker.” Shadow protests.
“Whippah!” The sound comes again; Bobby is making fun of Shadow. I clasp my hand over my mouth trying to restrain the giggle rising in my throat.
“Man, fuck you!”
Well, it seems Bobby knows about last night. He and Shadow must be pretty close because I can’t see Shadow going out and telling everyone he slept with me; unless he honestly has a death wish or he’s really, really proud of himself.
My room here is a lot nicer than the one at the clubhouse. The walls are light purple and the sand-colored carpet is stain free. A queen sized bed takes up most of the bedroom with purple, black, and white covers and pillows filling it. The blankets look and smell brand new. There is a honey oak dresser with a mirror attached, and a floor-to-ceiling mirror on the back of the closet door. Some of the Ol’ Ladies must have helped decorate this place; it was far from the club decor.
I start opening my suitcase when a light knock comes at the door. I swear if it's Shadow I’m going to kick him in the balls.
“Dani, It’s me. Open up,” Bull says. Funny I hadn't heard the sound of his motorcycle pull up. Then again, I was busy trying to resist Shadow, and eavesdropping.
I unlock and open the door. There stands my father in loose, faded jeans; a distressed Rolling Stones t shirt; and his black leather cut. His dark hair is all messy, and his vibrant green eyes are striking in contrast. Even as an older man, my dad is stunning.
“You getting settled in okay?” he asks, eyeing the room behind me as I step to the side to let him in.
“Yeah. It’s much nicer than the clubhouse. Thank you,” I respond sincerely, inspecting the room with him. Even so, I suddenly realize that the club had felt more familiar to me; strange.
“Yeah, the Ol' Ladies got together several months ago and decorated the place. Cost a fucking fortune, too.” He shakes his head as if trying to forget how much it must have set the club back. “I had them buy new blankets this morning, though. God only knows what was on those sheets after last night,” he adds, pointing to the bed.
