“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Shelly thought for a moment and then said, “Meri, I have to tell you something. Remember how you said I needed to find some key to unlock my past?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve thought about that, and you may have something there. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jonathan, and maybe … I don’t know. Maybe something is there that I wasn’t willing to see before.”
“Like maybe you’re still in love with him?” Meredith ventured.
Shelly released a spontaneous, nervous laugh. “I don’t know. It’s been so long. What we knew as love was so naive and incomplete. I don’t know what I think. All I know is that I’ve been thinking about him. A lot.”
“Do you want to see him?”
“I think so. I mean, yes, I want to see him. I don’t know if he wants to see me.”
“Oh, he’ll want to see you,” Meredith said. She shone her flashlight out on the lake where a startled duck took flight, causing the lunar reflection to ripple. Ahead of them, the fat butterball of a harvest moon slumped over the treetops, drunk on its own moonshine.
“Look at that,” Shelly said in a hushed voice, her chin tilted up toward the full, amber orb. “Is that the most gorgeous moon you have ever seen?”
“It’s incredible,” Meredith agreed with a sigh.
“It’s so beautiful here.”
“I know,” Meri whispered back. The glow from the moon reflected off the water and gave Meredith’s light blond hair an almost iridescent shine. “This is the best thing I ever could have done,” Meredith said. “It’s the best thing both of us could have done—to move here, I mean.”
“You’re right. Thanks for letting me move in with you.”
“Are you kidding? This is a treat for me.” Meredith stopped walking and touched Shelly on the arm. “I really appreciate your letting me into your life like this. I always wanted to be your best friend when we were growing up.”
“I always thought we were good friends while we were growing up,” Shelly said, slightly defensive. “You and I got along with each other most of the time, which is more than I can say about how either of us fared with Molly and Megan.”
“But I wasn’t your best friend. Jonathan was.”
“Yeah,” Shelly said slowly and dreamily, her mood matching the fairy-tale world around them. “I guess he was.”
They kept walking, this time with their arms linked.
“We probably look like two little old spinsters,” Shelly said after some time.
Meredith played along, patting her sister’s arm. “We may look that way, dearie, but I have a very strong feeling that after our little trip to Germany, you’ll come home with a nice big diamond on your finger and an eviction notice for me.”
Shelly laughed. “That would never happen,” she said. “Jonathan and I wouldn’t make you move out. We would find our own place. As a matter of fact, we would probably build our own place. Right over there.” She shone her flashlight on the broad meadow owned by the neighboring camp.
“Sounds like something Jonathan would do,” Meredith agreed. “He always did want to build a log cabin or something, didn’t he?”
“Yes,” Shelly said softly. She remembered the summer night she and Jonathan had begged their parents to let the two of them sleep out in the tree house. Their parents finally agreed only after Jonathan’s dad offered to spend the night with them. Shelly and Jonathan were both eleven. It was a miserable night. Mr. Renfield snored like a bear, and an owl kept echoing his every snore. Shelly’s sleeping bag wasn’t warm enough so she shivered till her teeth chattered.
“This is pretty amazing, isn’t it?” Meredith said.
“What? The lake?”
“Yes, the lake and the moon and all of God’s creation. But what I was thinking about was how amazing the last couple of weeks have been. Your moving back here, my getting a new job that sends me to Germany, and my friend Jana knowing Jonathan.”
“Is Jana going to tell Jonathan we’re coming?”
“No, I don’t think so. First of all, I didn’t know for sure if you could take the time off, and second, I didn’t feel it was my place to tell her that you had once been his girlfriend. All Jana knows is that we used to be neighbors and that I’m coming. She may mention that to Jonathan, or she might not.”
“That’s good,” Shelly said.
“Well, it’s good if you want to avoid seeing him, but if you want to see him, you might call him to make sure he’s going to be around. I have a very strong suspicion that you do in fact want to see him.”
“I do,” Shelly admitted.
“Should I get his number from Jana? I could call her tomorrow.”
“No,” Shelly said cautiously. “Why don’t you give me Jana’s number and let me call her? I want to think this through. It has been five years, you know. And I do have some apologizing to do before he might be willing to talk to me.”
“It’s up to you. I refuse to play the role of the pushy, matchmaking sister. It seems God has arranged all these connections fine so far without my help. All I ask is that you fill me in on the good stuff.”
“Agreed,” Shelly said. “That is, if there’s any good stuff to fill you in on.”
“Oh, I’m sure there will be!”
For days Shelly debated whether or not she should call Jana. There were only a few hours each day when it was convenient to call Jana with the nine-hour time difference.
Shelly never did make the call. She wondered if she had done the right thing as she stared out the plane window on their flight bound for Frankfurt. Meredith mercifully hadn’t bugged her about it, partly because Meredith had been in Chicago and then had frantically prepared for the trip. She and Shelly had had very little time to talk. Shelly had been called to report for three long flights and one half-day commuter flight, so the weeks had gone by fast for her as well.
Now it was too late to call. They were in the air. On their way. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen.
Outside, the sky was a seamless blue without a cloud. Far, far below them lay the thick, brown earth, marked in perfect patchwork squares of autumn fields plowed under.
Heartland, Shelly thought. Kansas. Maybe Iowa. No, we’re too far north. Maybe it’s Manitoba. How dry it looks. So precisely measured and divided. And so lonely. I know that feeling. I think I did the same thing to my heart, plowed it all under and left it in its tidy little sections.
Shelly glanced at her sister, who was wearing a headset and watching the movie from the middle seat. Shifting her position, Shelly returned her attention to the view out the window.
She had never realized how compact the seat space was. A passenger couldn’t cross her legs if the person in front of her had reclined the seat. And the meal tray barely fit on the tray table if the seat was reclined. Buttering a roll without elbowing one’s neighbor was also a challenge. Shelly felt claustrophobic, which gave her a whole new appreciation for what it was like to be a passenger.
The endless view out the window was her only source of calm. Blue, blue skies kept her content for many miles, as her imagination spun and wove and then unraveled a dozen scenarios of what it would be like to see Jonathan again.
She finally admitted to herself hours later that she was scared to face him. She was a scaredy-cat, just like he had called her years ago when she was so leery of climbing the steps up to the tree house. But also just like that childhood experience, Shelly knew she had to overcome her fear of seeing Jonathan.
Look at you! You’re not afraid of heights anymore. You fly for a living. You’ve sat here for hours looking out this window. You can get over this fear of Jonathan Renfield.
Shelly continued to coach herself as the cabin lights came on and the drowsy passengers awakened. She knew she would have to take each step as it came. Maybe it would be convenient to rent a car and drive to Belgium, and maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe when they arrived at Jana’s she would have news that would help determine Shelly’s next
step. Maybe Jana had told Jonathan that Meredith was coming, and he had decided to come to Heidelberg to see her. When he arrived, he would be pleasantly surprised to see Shelly. At least she hoped he would consider it a pleasant surprise.
What if he had turned bitter toward her over the years? No, not Jonathan. He was nothing but tenderness and kindness.
Gazing below as the shadowy clouds of night cleared, Shelly watched a city stir with the morning. All the lights that had been turned on to protect homes during the night were being turned off. Shelly felt herself turning off her own security lights and letting the adventure of this new day light her path.
Chapter Nine
The last part of their journey seemed the longest. They encountered delays at the Frankfurt airport in the baggage-claim area. Security required that all baggage be checked to the claim tickets, and uniformed guards with the aid of dogs were randomly checking luggage. The intensity of the security made Shelly aware of the ever-present danger of bombings and terrorist activity. For the first time she felt nervous about being in a foreign country.
Strangely, Meredith seemed more confident and decisive than Shelly. She was the one who remembered they needed to exchange some money before trying to find the train station. Shelly felt physically and emotionally exhausted. All the exercise her mind and heart had done on the flight was showing up now when she really needed to be clear-headed.
Once their passports were stamped, their luggage cleared, their money exchanged, and they had found their seats on the train to Heidelberg, Shelly laid her head back and fell asleep. All too soon, Meredith shook her and said, “We’re here. Get your stuff.”
They had both packed light, on Shelly’s insistence, and it paid off now when they had to grab their belongings and hop off the train. Pulling their wheeled bags behind them and wearing their warm jackets, Shelly and Meredith headed down the platform toward the main entrance. Meredith led the way as if she had been there before. Of course neither of them had.
“Jana’s going to meet us at the curb out front. She said it was easier for her to do that than to park and come in. We’re a few minutes late, but she should be there.”
For an instant, Shelly wondered if by any remote possibility Jonathan might be with Jana. Shelly became self-conscious of her appearance. Her hair was much longer than Jonathan had ever seen it. At the moment, she had it pulled back in a ponytail holder. When she was working, she usually wore it in a twisted French roll, but it wouldn’t be easy to locate her bobby pins now to try to fix it. She had worn no makeup on the flight since twelve hours was a long time for makeup to stay fresh. Besides, she wasn’t working this flight so she didn’t feel the need to try to look fresh and friendly to all the passengers.
Another thing that had changed in the past five years was her weight. Shelly had been more consistent in working out. She weighed five pounds more than she had in high school, but it was well distributed. Her figure had changed, too, she thought. A little more on top, a little rounder on the bottom. The tomboy was gone from her frame. Would Jonathan notice the way her shape had graced itself into a woman?
“Do you think we should stop and go to the restroom before we meet her?” Shelly asked.
“Do you need to go?”
“Well, not really, I guess. I can wait.” Shelly hoped her sister couldn’t read her thoughts and figure out why Shelly wanted to make the stop.
They stepped into the brisk air of the Heidelberg morning, and someone immediately called out, “Meri! Over here! Meredith!” A woman hung her head from the open passenger window of a blue minivan and waved at them.
“There she is. Perfect,” Meredith said. “Come on.”
Jana and her husband, Mike, greeted them both enthusiastically and helped them into the van with the luggage.
“That’s all you have?” Jana said. “I’m impressed.” She was taller than Shelly and Meredith and wore funky, wire-rimmed glasses. Her dark hair was short, with a point at the back of her neck, a sort of backward widow’s peak. Mike wore bizarre glasses, too, with large, colored wire frames. He was a large man, older than his wife, and had the build of someone who had played football in college and then stopped working out.
“We have to run a few quick errands,” Jana said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. How are you two?” Meredith patted both of them on the back as Mike pulled out of the parking lot. “It’s so good to see you.”
“We’re doing pretty good,” Jana said.
“We’re way too busy,” Mike said. “We have our quarterly staff meeting starting tomorrow morning, so we apologize ahead of time if we don’t get to spend a whole lot of time with you. Heidelberg is such a fun city you won’t need a tour guide.”
“I told you about the staff meeting, didn’t I?” Jana said, turning around and smiling at them. “We live downtown near the university. It’s a compact, typical European flat, but we do have a guest room. We’ll give you a key; so you’re welcome to come and go as you wish.”
Meredith was asking questions about the famous Heidelberg Castle and about obtaining tickets for a tour-boat ride. All Shelly could think of were Mike’s words, “quarterly staff meeting.” Jonathan was staff. Maybe she wouldn’t have to figure out a way to get to Belgium. Maybe Jonathan would come here. Maybe he was already here.
“Is there anything we can do to help you guys with your staff meeting?” Shelly asked. “Is it going to be held at your home?”
“No, we have a meeting room at a church,” Jana said. “It’s a two-day meeting. We’ll have two other guests on our living room floor tomorrow night, but no, there’s nothing you can do. You’re welcome to meet us for dinner, if you would like.”
Shelly’s mind was reeling. How could she ask about Jonathan without letting out a wild shriek? What if he was one of the staff people who would be sleeping on the living room floor? Couldn’t Meredith see her agony? Why couldn’t she come right out and ask about Jonathan for Shelly?
“We could stay at a hotel,” Meredith said, “if you need your guest room.”
“Are you kidding? No way would I want you to spend the kind of money they demand for a decent room in this town. You put your bid in first. You’re my guest. I don’t want you to stay anywhere else.”
“Really,” Mike added. “She’s been looking forward to this, Meredith. I’m counting on you to give her a good bit of refreshment. After our staff meeting you still have a few days, don’t you?”
“I don’t have to be in Frankfurt until Wednesday at nine in the morning,” Meredith said. “Oh, look! That’s the castle, isn’t it? It looks just like the postcards you sent me. That was a pretty dumb thing to say. Of course it looks like the postcards.” Meredith laughed contagiously.
“It’s the jet lag,” Mike offered. “It’s hitting you already.”
Meredith kept laughing as she looked out the window. The castle on the hill did indeed look enchanting. Even though it was far away, it was impressive. The stone wall stood in bold defiance of the hundreds of years that had sharpened their worst days on its ledges. Tawny, brazen, and unshaken, the Heidelberg Castle crouched like a lion overlooking the city.
Shelly pulled her gaze away and formed another question for their host and hostess, “Are your staff coming in tonight?”
“Some are. Some will drive in early tomorrow morning. Depends on where they’re coming from,” Mike said.
“Is this a quarterly meeting for everyone who works for your organization?” Shelly asked.
“Almost everyone is coming,” Jana said.
There was a pause as the car rumbled over a bump in the narrow road and came to a halt in front of what looked like an automotive-repair shop. Shelly inconspicuously poked her sister, hoping Meredith would take the hint and ask outright about Jonathan. Too entranced by their surroundings, Meredith peered out the side window and seemed unaffected by Shelly’s misery or the poke.
“That reminds me,” Jana said as Mike ran into the small shop. �
��Your old neighbor will be here for the meetings. I haven’t mentioned to him that you guys are here. Meri told you, didn’t she, that we found out we both know Jonathan?”
“She told me,” Shelly said cautiously.
“He’s coming?” Meredith said, suddenly catching on. “That’s fantastic! He’ll be so surprised to see us.” Meredith pinched Shelly on the thigh, causing Shelly to jump a little. Meredith’s golden laughter spilled all over them.
“What’s so funny?” Jana asked.
“Oh, just the thought of seeing Jonathan again,” Meri said, trying to regain her composure. Shelly could tell Meredith’s laugh was full of happiness, the kind of laugh she had tucked away for Easter-egg hunts and Christmas mornings when they were kids. She was as excited about Shelly seeing Jonathan as Shelly was.
“It’s been a long time,” Meredith explained. “More than five years. I was just wondering if he had changed much.”
“The only way that guy could have changed is if he was a royal terror as a kid, because now he’s a dream. Believe me, he is one of the best youth leaders we have on staff. Mike is really close to him. I think he’s a doll.”
Hearing this person Shelly had met twenty minutes ago talk about her Jonathan so freely made her want to spill her guts about her deep and abiding, albeit only recently resurrected, love for Jonathan.
Fortunately, Meredith spoke up first. “When is he coming? Is he staying at your house? Shelly and I should think of some way to surprise him.”
“I’m not sure when he’s arriving. He’s not staying at our place. We have two staff women coming. We thought it would be a little easier, since we already had you two, to sign up for two women. With only one bathroom, a couple of guys would have really complicated things.”
Clouds Page 7
