“Does this mean you’re coming back to work now?” I murmur, taking her face in my hands, my mouth resting gently against hers.
“Yeah. I guess it does.”
She smiles, and she kisses my slightly open mouth before she pulls away from me and heads toward the kitchen. She goes straight to the fridge and reaches inside, picking up a slice of cold pizza, and then she turns to face me, her mouth forming the sexiest goddamn smirk I have ever seen, I swear, my cock’s reacting to that smirk.
“Evan King eats pizza?”
She raises a surprised eyebrow and my cock reacts again.
“I don’t survive entirely on foie gras and caviar.”
She takes a bite of the pizza and I go over to her, take it out of her hand and bite into it myself.
“Sometimes I eat nothing but unhealthy take-out while watching endless reality TV.”
“No you don’t.”
It’s my turn to raise an eyebrow, but she just smiles and takes another bite of pizza before she finally puts it down, slides her arms around my neck and kisses me again.
“You taste of pepperoni,” I whisper, my hands dropping to her ass as I push her toward me. And when she laughs I feel it vibrate against me, and I just want to fuck her all over again. So I lift her up, sit her down on the countertop and spread her legs wide; I’m back inside her in a heartbeat. She spreads her legs wider, and my cock can’t take it, I can’t take it. I feel like a sixteen year old kid who can’t control his own dick, I’m coming, and I can’t hold back, can’t stop it, and this time she’s bringing herself off, a quick and beautiful endgame that means her own climax merges with mine and she’s got my head fucking spinning.
“I need a shower,” she whispers as she slides down from the counter. “Want to join me?”
I don’t need asking twice.
Lola
I didn’t want to talk tonight. And I knew Evan wouldn’t push it, and he didn’t. He hasn’t. Not yet. But one night of wild, hot sex doesn’t really fix anything. I’ve made a choice, but now we need to talk about how that choice affects things; whether it’s what he wants, too, because I can’t just barge in here and assume he’s okay with this. With me.
I feel his arms wrap around me from behind and I lie back against him as I stare out at the view.
“It’s late. We should get some sleep,” he murmurs into my shoulder and I slide my fingers between his as they rest against my stomach.
“I’m not tired.”
“Are you staying the night?”
I don’t say anything for a second or two. I think everything that happened tonight – it’s finally starting to hit home, and the reality of it all feels like a brutal punch to my solar plexus.
“I ended it, Evan. With Mike. I ended it.”
I feel his fingers squeeze mine and I close my eyes because I don’t want those tears that are threatening to fall to make an appearance.
“Are you okay?”
He turns me around and tucks a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“I don’t know.” I shrug, and I feel those tears start to slide slowly down my cheeks and I hate that that’s happening, but I can’t stop them. “I don’t know.”
“Hey.” He leans forward and he kisses those tears away, his lips barely brushing my skin and I close my eyes as he pulls me into his arms. “Come on. You’re tired, we both are. Let’s go to bed.”
I take his hand and follow him to the bedroom. And then I realize, I don’t have a change of clothes, I can’t go into work tomorrow in jeans and a T-shirt.
“I don’t have a change of clothes for tomorrow, Evan. I can’t… can’t go to work in…”
He turns to face me, and he smiles, kissing me quickly. “We’ll stop by your place in the morning. It’s not a problem.”
I can’t help smiling, too. He seems like a different man, here, like this. It’s like those layers are finally being peeled away and I’m starting to see the man beneath the ego and the arrogance. I’m just not sure that makes any of this any easier.
“Okay.”
He kisses me again, and he wipes away another stray tear with his thumb, which actually causes more tears to fall, Jesus, I’m such a fucking mess!
“Evan, I’m sorry, for all of this…”
He shakes his head to silence me, his fingers tightening around mine, I didn’t even realize he was holding my hand until I felt that; his fingers tightening around mine.
“We’re gonna go to bed, and we’re gonna sleep, and in the morning we’ll do whatever we have to do to make you smile again. Okay?”
“Who are you?”
He laughs quietly, and my stomach gives the tiniest jolt. “Bed. Come on.”
“I’ll be there in a second. All right?”
“All right.”
I let go of him and I escape to the bathroom, I just need a few minutes. And as soon as I close the door I feel those tears start to flood out of me, streaming down my cheeks like someone’s turned on a faucet and I can’t do anything to stop it. I drop my head and grip the edges of the sink, watching as those tears splash on to the white porcelain, and I squeeze my eyes tight shut, hoping that’ll stop the flow. But it doesn’t, not for the next few seconds anyway.
I take a deep breath and look up into the mirror. My eyes are red, my face stained with tears and I splash it with cold water, several times, before I quickly brush my teeth and take another look in the mirror. Better, but only just. I still look a wreck.
One more deep breath and I go back into the bedroom. He’s already in bed, sitting up checking his laptop. He’s back to being Evan King, lawyer, and I stand in the bathroom doorway and watch him, just for a second or two. But he eventually senses I’m there and he looks up, closing his laptop down as I pull off my T-shirt and climb into bed beside him.
He reaches out and circles my waist with his arm, pulling me against him, kissing me long and slow and I rest a hand on his chest and close my eyes. For the first time tonight I feel like I can finally breathe, and it’s a feeling that almost overwhelms me.
I rest my head against his shoulder, and I keep my eyes closed as he takes my hand, kisses my forehead, and slides his other hand into the small of my back, keeping me pressed against him.
I’m not going anywhere.
I need to sleep.
Because, tomorrow…
… tomorrow’s going to be a very different kind of day…
Thirty-One
Lola
I watch as he fastens his shirt; slides his tie around his neck. I watch as he slips on his jacket, runs his fingers through his hair, and he’s done. He’s Evan King – hot shot lawyer. Arrogant, egotistical; a man who isn’t afraid of a fight. But he’s also kind and beautiful and the complete opposite of what many people see. I was attracted to that arrogance. That ego. I wanted that man. I’m only just getting to know the other one.
“Look at the state of me,” I say as he turns around. I’m wearing the jeans and Converse I arrived in last night, but I’ve ditched the T-shirt and borrowed one of his shirts, which is way too big for me, of course, but I’ve kind of made it my own by tying it over my stomach. As for my hair, I’ve just shoved it up on top of my head and hoped for the best.
“I think you look incredible.” He smiles, and I roll my eyes and throw him a half smile back.
“We haven’t got time for sex so the compliments are kind of wasted.”
He walks over to me and slides an arm around my waist, pulling me loosely against him, kissing me deep and dirty. “That shirt – it looks way better on you than it ever did on me.”
I smile again and straighten his tie. “Well, it isn’t staying on. Come on, I need to go get changed. I walk into Cavendish King like this and what are people going to think?”
He leans right into me, his mouth touching my ear as he speaks, his hand resting lightly against my hip. “Who cares what anyone else thinks?”
“Certainly not you, huh?”
He laugh
s quietly and I feel my thighs ache, that familiar throb in my groin growing in intensity.
“Does that suit crease easily?” I whisper, pressing myself against him.
“Why?” He drops his hand to my ass.
He knows why.
*
“Do you really think we should be arriving together, Evan?”
His car pulls up outside the Cavendish King building and he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze before he raises it to his lips and kisses it. “I’m giving you a lift. You’re my secretary. I’m not seeing a problem.”
“I’m not even supposed to be in work at the minute, am I?”
“You changed your mind. It’s allowed.”
I look at him, and then I briefly drop my gaze, my eyes focusing on my thumb as it rubs his knuckles, his fingers still wrapped tightly around mine. “Yeah. I changed my mind.”
He tilts my chin up and kisses me gently, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. “We’ll talk, okay? I’ll take you to lunch, and we’ll talk.”
“Okay.” I smile and kiss him back.
“You gonna be all right? Seeing Mike?”
“Yeah. I’m going to be just fine.” I think. I don’t know, I can’t really be sure.
He squeezes my hand and smiles at me as Frank opens the passenger door. “Come on, Ms. Burrows. We’ve got work to do.”
He steps out of the car first, and I follow, and we fall into step beside one another as we enter the Cavendish King building. We’re a little later than usual, because of my needing to go home first to get changed, so it’s busier than it usually is when I arrive. And by the time I get to my desk it’s almost eight-thirty, but it’s back to being my desk now. Whoever was covering for me in my very brief stint away, they’re not there, because Dana knew I was coming back today. I called her this morning, I told her what’s happened; told her I’ve thought about everything. I know what I want now. I want Evan. I want this job; this life. So I’m back.
“Hey, you.”
I look up as Jess approaches my cubicle. “Hey.”
“You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, Evan said you were taking a few days off because of some personal problems, and then…”
She stops mid-sentence and I narrow my eyes. “And then, what?”
“You don’t know?”
“Don’t know what, Jess? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Mike. He’s left Cavendish King. Came in about half an hour ago, saw Dana, told her he was going back to Toronto. He’s taken up a junior partnership with his dad’s law firm, apparently. You really didn’t know?”
I feel like I’ve just been kicked hard in the gut, I can’t even breathe, not for a second or two. “I… no. No, I… I didn’t know.”
“Oh Jesus, Lola, I’m sorry. I just assumed… I thought those personal problems might have had something to do with Mike and I just… When did you last see him?”
“Yesterday. Last night.”
“And he didn’t say anything? You had no idea he was planning this?”
“Believe me, Jess, this is complicated. This is so, so complicated.”
I turn my head, and Evan’s on the phone, and judging by the expression on his face, and the way he looks at me, he’s quite obviously talking to Dana. He’s hearing the same news I am.
I turn back to face Jess.
“What’s happened, Lola?”
“It’s a really, really long story, Jess.”
“I’ve got time.”
I’m distracted by Evan striding out of his office, and I glance up at him as he stops by my desk. “Everything okay?”
“Dana wants to see us. Now.”
I look at Jess, she shrugs, and I stand up and follow Evan along the corridor to Dana’s office.
“He didn’t tell you he was thinking about going back to Canada?”
“He wanted me to go with him.”
Evan looks at me as we walk. “And you didn’t think to say anything to me?”
“At the time, Evan, it didn’t really have anything to do with you.”
“But he wanted you to go with him? To Toronto?”
I nod. “He wanted us to move back there. He wanted us to start a new life, forget all of that crap had ever happened. He wanted us to start over.”
Evan stops walking and turns to face me. “The easy way out, huh?”
“I don’t think there was anything easy about that decision, Evan. He’s walked out on his dream job here.”
“And you didn’t want to go with him? Not even for a second?”
I pause for a beat or two, but I keep my eyes locked on his. “Obviously not.”
We reach Dana’s office, and she looks up as we walk in, folding her arms as she comes out from behind her desk and leans back against it. “Did you know he was going, Lola?”
I repeat what I just told Evan – that he’d mentioned Canada, but I had no idea he was seriously thinking about going back there, with or without me.
“Well, he seemed pretty serious when I spoke to him this morning.” She looks at me, but she isn’t angry. I think she may be slightly disappointed, but I can’t change anything. And when I think about it, now, he was probably always going to leave. He’d given himself no other option. He couldn’t deal with me being with Evan, and he couldn’t deal with us not being together. So the only option he had left was to leave. I just wish I’d realized that sooner. I wish I’d said a proper goodbye. I wish a lot of things, and every one of them breaks my heart. “Lola? Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, and I look at Evan, and he mouths ‘It’s all right, I’ll make it all right’, and I smile faintly but all I’m feeling is a crushing pain. I didn’t fall out of love with Mike, that wasn’t what happened. Evan happened. I loved Mike. I wanted Evan. I couldn’t have both. And, deep down, I just don’t think I was strong enough to let me and Mike happen a second time. The fear that history would repeat itself won out, in the end.
“Word’s starting to spread, Lola. About you and Mike, so I’ll understand if you want to…”
“I’m back at work now, Dana.” I look over at Evan, and he nods and he smiles and maybe he will make it all right, it just might take some time. “And I want to be here. I chose to be here.”
She looks from me to Evan. And she knows what I really chose. I chose the man she used to be married to.
“Do you want to keep this quiet?”
We all know she’s referring to me and Evan, and I nod.
“For now. Please. It just seems – it seems a bit too soon, to be shouting another relationship from the rooftops. I mean, Mike’s only been gone five minutes. It doesn’t look too good, really. Does it?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Evan, go hold her hand,” Dana sighs. “You’re not a complete emotionless robot.”
It makes me feel a little uncomfortable, hearing Dana almost order her ex-husband to comfort me. It still feels kind of wrong.
“Dana, I’m fine. Really. Besides, Evan and me…” I look at him, and he smiles again. “We haven’t really had time to talk about what’s happening now. Not yet.”
He comes over to me, and he rests a hand on my hip as he leans in to whisper in my ear. “Does this change anything?”
I shake my head, and he gently rubs my lower back before he leaves me and Dana alone.
“Sit down. Come on. You look exhausted.” She smiles, and I feel my shoulders sag as I lower myself down onto her ridiculously comfortable couch. “I wasn’t expecting you to come back today.”
“I need to be at work Dana, not sitting at home wallowing in what ifs and what could’ve beens.”
“Mike really gave you no indication that he was thinking of leaving?”
“Not that he was serious about it, no. When I told him I couldn’t go with him I just assumed… I assumed that was the end of it.” I sigh and briefly drop my gaze. Just briefly. “I guess this mess isn’t really getting cleared up at all, is i
t?”
“Well, maybe it’s starting to. Maybe now we can actually begin to move on.”
I frown slightly, and her expression becomes almost apologetic.
“Oh, Lola, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that…”
“It’s okay. Dana, it’s okay. And, y’know, maybe you’re right. I thought I could handle being around both of them, but I can’t. I can’t do it.”
“And, choosing Evan…?”
“I wasn’t going to choose either of them. I wanted to think I could leave both of them behind, but then Mike said something…” I trail off, because Dana doesn’t need to know every detail of mine and Mike’s last conversation. God knows I’ve played it out in my own head enough times, I don’t need to hear it again. Although, I suspect I may be playing it out one more time, for Jess. I can’t keep this from her now. I won’t be able to keep it from anyone. “I chose the man I want over the man I love. How messed up is that, huh?”
She reaches out and takes my hand, squeezing it gently. “Your history with Mike – it’s complicated. And maybe, deep down, it was just too hard to trust him again.”
I look at her, and I know she’s right.
“Evan’s a good man, Lola. But, just be careful, okay? He’s a good man, but he has his demons, too.”
I frown again, and I really want to ask her what she means by that but her phone ringing kind of kills the conversation dead.
“I need to get this.”
“And I should get back to work. Look, Dana, thank you. For everything.”
She smiles as she raises the phone to her ear. “Anything you need, you just give me a shout. You’re family now. And family look after each other… Hello, Jack…”
She’s dismissing me now, so I leave her office and head back to Evan’s. And Jess is still at my desk, flicking through a file. Or pretending to.
“Have you been here all this time?” I ask her.
She looks up. “Am I missing something?”
I quickly glance behind me, but Evan’s on the phone, deep in conversation, so I get up and take Jess’s arm. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
Lawfully His (A Dirty Business Novel Book 1) Page 25
