by Amy Cook
“That's not true! I wouldn’t do that!”
“I didn’t think so, either. At least I didn’t, till tonight. Now I don’t know what to think.”
Her jaw clamped shut, tears burning her eyes. Like a tidal wave, her mind cleared and her temper slammed into her. There was no begging to be released this time, no tamping it down. Her fist shot out, slamming into his jaw before he could say another word. And instead of being horrified at her actions, she felt a deep satisfaction.
Harley put one hand to his jaw, moving it about before reaching inside his mouth and pulling a tooth free. Amiel’s eyes widened and the hint of guilt started to filter through her red-hazed mind.
“About time,” Harley grumbled, before flicking the tooth at her. It bounced off her shoulder, pinging to the floor somewhere. “Now we just need to teach ya to stop hittin’ like a wimp.”
The sliver of guilt was gone. Her fists and feet flew once more of their own accord, Harley’s months of training finally rising to the surface. Her Hybrid rose to the surface with it, and she knew the moment he recognized its appearance. His own Hybrid rose in answer to the challenge, nostrils flaring as he met every one of her attacks.
He no longer bothered going easy on her as they traded bruises and bumps. And in that moment, Amiel felt a serenity she’d only consciously known once before, during the fight with the giant. The graceful, flowing movement of her body as she fought, the feeling of being at one with the side within; it was liberating. The motions of attack no longer felt forced or awkward, but smooth extensions of her limbs, like a dance. Yet the feeling of liberation conflicted with the emotions of frustration within. Running, Amiel leapt at Harley, teeth bared. His eyes narrowed, seeing her intent. He grasped her as they collided, spinning with her momentum.
Her back slammed up against the lockers with a crash, and she gasped. She was distantly surprised by the fact that it sounded less like a gasp of pain, or even anger, and more like a gasp of enjoyment. Harley must have noticed too, because he paused, teeth bared and eyes wild with some unknown depth as they assessed her, challenged her. She should have been frightened, yet found herself only enthralled. Suddenly grabbing her wrists, he stretched them above her head.
“Cool down,” Harley ordered gruffly. Instantly the heated moment between them was gone, her anger surging to the surface again.
“Don’t tell me what to do!” she howled, struggling against his grip. It was like steel bands holding her put. His body pressed heavily against hers, pinning her to the cold metal doors. She growled in frustration, squirming and wriggling like a mad woman in her efforts to be free.
“Your Hybrid’s freed, meanin’ the drugs are flushed out. You’re safe now. Let it go.”
She continued to struggle and he tightened his grip.
“I’m just as good as you! My opinion matters, my choices matter! I’m not a stupid kid anymore — I can make my own decisions!” she screamed, thrashing against him.
“Knock it off, Thumbelina, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” His words were soft spoken, calm, and they ticked her off. She didn’t want to be calm, she wanted to lash out.
“Maybe I’ll hurt you instead!” she growled.
“We’ve hurt each other enough tonight.”
His quiet words stopped her cold. Reality sank in swiftly, like a collapsing roof. She had hurt him already. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him, her best friend and protector. She still didn’t, not really. He was being a jerk, but he was being a jerk to bring her emotions to the surface, to make her face what she didn’t want to. It was just like after she realized the depth of her involvement with Jaron’s death. Harley had made her mad, made her fight, brought her emotions to the surface, saved her from an internal self-destruction. He was doing it again.
Somehow, Harley had found the one way to get through to her, and he was the only one who could do it. Her tears brimmed, bottom lip trembled. His eyes softened.
“You’re right. You’re not a kid. I said some stupid crap tonight, did even stupider crap. I’ve been more outta my head tonight than I have my whole life. I never, never should have spoken to ya the way I did,” he admitted with inwardly directed frustration.
“I’m runnin’ on no sleep for the past three days, kid. I just got in from savin’ my dad, bein’ terrified of losin’ him. And the whole time I was terrified I was losin’ you too. There’s danger at Foundation; they’re on to ya. I tried to tell ya over the phone, that it was too dangerous to keep patrollin’ for now, that I’d fill ya in when I got back. But my battery died, and I gotta be careful how I say things to ya over Foundation phones. I guess my whole message didn’t come through.”
Her heart shuddered, the shield of her anger cracking as his jaw clenched against his emotions.
“I got back, eager to see ya. Didn’t bother sleepin’ or cleanin’ up, just went straight to your place. But you weren’t there. I couldn’t find ya, I couldn’t call ya, ’cause my phone was dead. I was terrified Foundation got ya while I was gone.” He chuckled wryly. “I even stopped by the diner.”
Amiel’s eyes widened. “You did?” The words came out small, broken. He nodded.
“The place was empty, the staff said you’d quit the day before. Said they didn’t know where ya went, but that ya went off the deep end and stole money. I kinda panicked after that,” he admitted, chagrined.
“I ran up and down the streets, afraid I’d miss your scent on the bike. Then I finally caught it on Lime Street. I was torn between worry and excitement. My heart was killin’ me when I realized your scent led me to L’s. I thought for sure it was a sign Foundation found ya, that they were forcin’ the mark on ya right then and there. I burst in the door and was so relieved when Foundation guards were nowhere to be seen, and I saw ya layin’ there with that beautiful smile on your face, felt how happy you were.” He swallowed hard.
“Then I put two and two together. You’d done the one thing I’d been tryin’ to save ya from all along. Everythin’ came crashin’ down on me in that moment. I reacted in my hurt, exhaustion and fear. All I could think about was fixin’ the problem I wasn’t there to stop. All I could think about was my Hybrid needin’ to put ya in your place.” His eyes met hers, penitence in their clear blue depths.
“But you didn’t need me to put ya in your place. You’re not one of my recruits that I gotta dominate. You’re my family. Ya needed my understandin’. And I couldn’t give it. I was too caught up in the need to protect ya physically, that I ignored what really needed protected.” One hand slid down her arms, moving to rest above her heart. The shield over that heart cracked further, tears burning her eyes.
“I’ve been poundin’ this bag, wishin’ I could pound my own head for actin’ so stupid. I didn’t know about your brother, I didn’t know about any of the other stuff weighin’ down on ya. But if I’d stopped to ask, if I’d bothered to find out rather than react, I coulda known. You wouldn’t have run off to that freak club in the first place, or been attacked and drugged.” He shook his head.
“I’m a genetically altered freak. But at the core, I’m still very human, Amiel. I make mistakes. I think sometimes you really do think I’m Superman. But I ain’t. I know I let ya down when ya needed that strength. And I’m sorry for that.”
“Superman had weaknesses, too. It didn’t make him any less amazing. Neither do yours,” she whispered. He closed his eyes, shook his head.
“You were right about everythin’ but one. You’re not just as good as me.”
She bit her lip. His thumb rose, gently pulling the lips from her teeth. The pad of his thumb ran over the flesh swollen from her constant biting tonight. He met her eyes, made sure she understood what he was trying to convey.
“You’re better. You’re better than me, in so many ways. There is this innate goodness in ya, kid; it shines outta ya, brighter than the sun, warms anyone near ya. My heart beats to see it every day; I yearn to bask in your glow with every breath I take. It’s a rare and beautiful gift in t
his dark and ugly world. It’s somethin’ I’m terrified of ya losin’. And if anythin’ can take that from ya, it’s Foundation. I can’t, won’t let that happen to you, kid.” His voice shook. “I won’t.”
Amiel felt the last of her shield of anger crack, then crumble. It rushed from her body under the torrential incoming of regret and sadness that followed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Harley,” Amiel sobbed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing into the crook of his neck. “I am so sorry. I was stupid. And selfish. And a complete moron.”
Harley chuckled softly, rubbing her back. “Stop it, kid. Did ya hear anythin’ I just said?”
She pulled away to look in his eyes. “No, you were right to be upset with me! I’m not proud of myself. I said I wanted to go to the club for Joyce, told myself I wanted to go to make her happy. But there was a darker truth behind that. I went to that club with a selfish, stupid need to rebel, to show you I could handle myself and that I didn’t need you. I wore this crazy outfit Joyce picked out for me, and we stayed in that stupid club because I was too stubborn to leave once we got there. I was an idiot and didn’t keep an eye on my drink. The guy next to me, I think he saw the tattoo under that stupid scarf. I should have known.”
“Ya can’t read people’s thoughts, Thumbelina.”
“No, but I can read mine. I should have listened to my instincts from the start. I should have left the moment I knew the place was bad news. I shouldn’t have even gone in the door. I knew, but I chose to ignore it. I was mad, and hurt and just stupid. You got in a huge fight tonight because of me, and I was useless. It’s worse than that night with Duane. At least then I did something. Tonight I just laid there like an idiot!”
“To be fair, ya didn’t just lay there. You served as a bit of a distraction, and chucked some rocks too,” he teased. Amiel’s eyes widened.
“Oh, gosh, don’t remind me! Oh, I’m such a mess!”
“You’re hurtin’. And I added to that hurt. You carry your heart on your sleeve, Thumbelina, and that’s somethin’ to be admired. It takes strength to do that, to feel everythin’ around ya and react openly to it. But sometimes that’s a burden that’ll get ya in over your head. And that’s why I’m here: a friend to have your back. But I screwed up. I shoulda been there at your side, pullin’ ya away from the edge. Instead, I let my own frustrations get in the way, and I’m sorry for that, too.”
“You came to my rescue, like you always do. Superman to my Lois Lane,” she replied. He offered a soft, lopsided grin.
“Robin. You’re too smart for Lois.”
“Tonight I earned Lois’ name, I’m afraid.”
“We all make mistakes. Part of the flawed beauty of humanity,” he acknowledged, voice laced heavily with understanding. She smiled, but her hand inevitably ended up in her hair, twisting the ends and giving away her doubt on that matter. His hand intercepted hers, threading his fingers through hers as he pulled it away.
“Stop it, kid.” He paused, face pulling down into a frown. “Sorry, guess I shouldn’t call ya that anymore.”
“No. Honestly, I kind of like it. I just… I don’t want you to actually think of me as a kid.” She blushed.
“Trust me, I haven’t thought of ya as a kid in a long time.” His pupils dilated, gaze smoldered, and her breath caught. A shiver raced her skin, and he cleared his throat, pulling back from the precipice of something big.
“We better get ya home so ya can change. Your body’s still in recovery mode, and it’s too cold for it in that outfit. I’ll head downstairs.” He cleared his throat again and walked away. Amiel sighed heavily, flopping back against the lockers. What had just happened? They were so close to something, and then he was gone. She thumped her head against the cold metal in frustration.
Pushing away, she quickly moved to grab his jacket from the couch and ran downstairs to join him. He was already sitting on the bike, the engine running. When she came bouncing out the door, his dark eyes caught hers, and she saw felt the edge of his emotions in the current. He was just as frustrated as she felt. His eyes jerked away, focusing on his coat. Surprise surfaced on his face, as he realized he’d forgotten it. She handed it to him and waited for him to put it on.
Instead, he held the coat in one hand, the other reaching out to grasp the front of her tank top. Their eyes locked as he grabbed a handful at the waist, tugging her forward, drawing her close until she was nearly touching him. Without a word, he wrapped his coat around her, slowly zipping it fully. Pulling her thick hair over her shoulder to cover the tattoo, he tucked it into the jacket so it would stay in place. His eyes never once left hers. Her heart pounded as his hands slid down to grasp her waist, tugging her forward the rest of the way until she sat fully on his lap.
“Skirt’s a damned hazard. Almost as bad as the suit,” he muttered, so quietly she could barely hear him over the engine. The bike surged forward before she could find her voice.
“Keep your head down,” he said, readjusting her windblown hair as they pulled forward to the gates at the apartments. The guards moved forward to do their thing, though they still only tested Amiel. Either they knew they didn’t have to worry about Harley’s kind being infected, or they were simply too afraid to try it. She obediently kept her head down, offering her arm for testing. She tensed when a growl started in Harley’s chest, grumbling against her shoulder. His large hand fell to her lap just below the skirt, covering her.
“Keep your damned eyes where they belong, pig face.”
Amiel hadn’t even noticed the guard staring down at her far-too-bare legs. The guard quickly looked away, stepping back and waving them on the moment the test was complete.
“Cursed hazard,” Harley grumbled again. Despite the embarrassment of the situation, she couldn’t help the grin that threatened, just because she found him oddly cute in his grumpiness. Harley parked, helped her off the bike and walked her to her door. She silently unzipped the jacket and handed it back to him. He stared at her with that same dark gaze he’d worn since the gym, his Hybrid at the surface this entire time.
“Okay, kid?” he asked gruffly. She nodded silently. They stared at one another for a long, heated moment, before he finally nodded and walked away. Amiel slowly shut the door, resting her forehead against it as the tingling in the tags faded. Then her breath caught, heart tripping over itself. The tingle was back. Harley was back. An urgent knock sounded at the door, seconds before she jerked it open.
“I’ve never been much of a runner. Can’t stomach it. But I been runnin’ from ya for a long time, kid, and I just can’t do it anymore.” His eyes met hers, open, unguarded, dark and pleading. “Please let me in.”
Amiel silently moved backward, holding the door wide. He stepped over the threshold, the door shutting behind him.
Chapter 44
Amiel
Amiel stared hard at the man before her. Harley's large form filled the doorway, muscles bunching beneath his t-shirt as his hands rhythmically passed the jacket back and forth from one hand to the other. Heavy, intense silence hung in the air, like the prelude to a storm. She turned and nervously walked further into the room, giving him more space. Somehow her apartment seemed too small, smaller than usual. She turned to find him staring at her in a heated and entirely unexpected way. He blinked, quickly looking away, his hand rising to run through his hair.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he said, eyes again rising to meet hers, a deeper question lying in their depths. Something about his voice made her mouth dry. It was like a hot summer's breeze whisking across her skin. She fought to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, crossing her arms over her chest. Her mind scrabbled for purchase. She often found herself at the edges of a precipice with Harley. One step in the wrong direction would send her careening off the edge. Suddenly she realized Joyce had been right all along. She should have just spoken to Harley, rather than diving in headfirst with the tattoo. For being such a quiet guy, Harley put a lot of stock in words.<
br />
“Do what?” She finally managed to unglue her mouth enough to speak. The change in his eyes was like watching a storm rolling in over the ocean, dangerous clouds turning the beautiful blues into tumultuous shades. The butterflies flew into a frenzy as she watched him straighten, an air of determination settling on his shoulders.
“You undo me.” The way he said it sent shivers up her spine. Not the terrifying kind, but the delightfully heated and tantalizing kind.
“Oh,” she murmured, feeling slightly breathless. “Is that a good thing?”
He opened his mouth, hesitated, hand running through his hair again before falling to run along the back of his neck.
“I think so?” He didn’t sound sure at all, his actions making it obvious he was full of his own nervous butterflies. She grabbed a piece of her long, mahogany hair, twisting it. They stared at one another for a long moment, before he nodded to himself, that air of determination coming back to shroud him. Releasing a shuddery breath, he stalked toward her. Grasping her hand, he slowly lifted it, placing it above his heart. It fluttered madly beneath her palm, like the wings of a trapped bird.
“You terrify me, Amiel,” he whispered. Leaving her hand pressed to his chest, he stroked a knuckle across her jaw line, fingers moving to sink into her hair. Gently cupping her ear, his thumb and forefinger slipped along the shell of it before coming to rest on the fleshy lobe. His thumb caressed the empty piercing hole there, before giving it a gentle tug. Amiel stared up at him, unsure she had heard him correctly.
“I terrify you?”
“There are few things I want in my life. I rarely let myself.” His thumb rubbed gently back and forth on her ear lobe, the motion putting her into a somewhat hypnotic state. “I wanted my mom to love me. That didn’t end too well.” His wry smile made her heart ache for the little boy he once was. “I wanted Cajun to heal and get better. And that one actually worked out, but at a heavy price. I want this war to end, but that ain’t lookin’ too promisin’ from where I stand. The things I want don’t work out so great. But when it comes to you?” His thumb slipped back down along her jaw to caress her bottom lip. “You make me want everythin’, darlin’. And that terrifies me more than anythin’ in the world.” Her heart caught at his endearment, his bold statement.
