by Nikki Landis
Never again will I be a victim.
My fate is controlled by no one but me. I’ve fought long and hard, and I’ve crawled through the gutter and the sewer to get back here. I’ve clawed my way out of despair and heartache and I’ve reached the top. I’m not going back down. Never again.
I dare any man, any villain, and any punk piece of shit to mess with me now.
As I leave yoga, my bag slung over my shoulder, I hear footsteps behind me. That’s something new. My heightened sense of awareness that requires I look in every alley now and gaze into the shadows without blinking, daring the specter of night to reveal its horrors.
I’ll take it all on.
This is my reality.
Anyone who messes with me ends up fucked.
Spinning, I drop my yoga bag and pull my gun from my purse. In two seconds flat it’s aimed at my follower.
“Holy shit. It’s me Harleigh. Didn’t you hear me calling you?” Derek’s hands are up in the air but a sly smile spreads across his face. “Do you wear that thing to bed?”
I’m irritated, but not upset. He’s too cute for me to stay bitchy. “Very funny. What do you want?”
He looks a little hurt by my tense and short response, “I want to see you. It’s been almost a week. You haven’t returned my calls.”
Nope. Not one.
Why?
I’m scared as hell I’ll fall for him. He’s the perfect guy, at least the perfect guy for me. When he soothed me after I broke down I knew I had to push him away. He breached my walls that day and I’m not about to have a repeat, “I know. I’ve been busy.” I’ve seen him several times but I keep turning him down when he asks me to get together. This is the third time.
He saunters closer, “You don’t look busy now. Want to get something to eat?”
It’s nine in the evening. “Coffee. That’s it,” I agree and give in pretty easy. I think I’m horny. That’s the only explanation for this bullshit. Damn, I better bitch slap my hormones back into submission.
He flashes that super sexy, panty dropping grin of his and I try not to melt. “Coffee it is.” He reaches for my hand and holds it, intertwining our fingers, and walks to his car as he casually says, “I’ll drive you back here after our date.”
Rolling my eyes in front of him, I know he can tell I’m onto him. He made the distinction on purpose. “Friend date,” I clarify.
He shrugs his broad shoulders and pulls me closer against his side, “Sure baby.”
His perusal could burn a hole in my head with the way he’s watching me, like he always is whenever he’s close. It’s not stalker like, believe it or not, it’s just his way. His way with me. I know that already. It’s obvious, I can tell. His eyes devour me but they hold me close, like he wants to protect me, and I kind of want to eat that shit up. I want someone to want to protect me, even if I can do it by myself. Harley is like that with the Joker and it’s awesome.
I’m not sure if he wants to own me, fuck me, or kiss me but the desire is all over his face.
Funny thing is, I don’t want to be owned. I want to be claimed. I want a guy who sees what I need and desire and anticipates it, knows me well enough to know what to do and when, and most importantly how, whether it’s in the bedroom or outside of it.
I’m undecided on Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous. He makes me wet, he makes me want to moan and stroke my clit, but I’m not that desperate. I have toys if it gets that bad.
Come on, who doesn’t?
Shit. Now all I can think about is sex.
“Leigh, baby, you’re so quiet I can hear the yelling inside your head.”
Maybe he knows me already or he’s trying too hard. Frowning, I’m conflicted since I kind of like that he’s so in tune to me but I also get that creepy weird vibe like that morning at breakfast so I shrug, “What makes you think so?”
He gives me a dark stare, “When are you going to stop doing that with me?”
For a second I consider lying but what’s the point?
We sigh at the same time.
I’ll stop being like this when I damn well feel like it and now that I’m more irritated with his all-knowing response it won’t be anytime soon. I smile sweetly and bat my eyelashes, deciding to hide my inner sarcastic bitch for the moment. He’s got no idea how naughty and frustrating I can be when I’ve set my mind on something.
He shakes his head lightly while replying in a determined voice, “Get in doll.” Once he opens the door I slide in, buckling the seatbelt as he shuts the door.
I think I get under his skin which makes me grin like crazy, like a loon, like the Joker.
“Java Joes or someplace else?”
He leaves the decision up to me. “Java Joes,” I say and try to hide my surprise.
That’s fucking hot. A guy who lets me choose and isn’t pissy about it. I bet if I ask him where he wants to go he would tell me. It’s a turn on since I don’t think he’s one of those irritating types that will have a thirty minute discussion about where to eat.
That’s a deal breaker right there. Hangry bitch will come out to play.
It’s not pretty. Hungry and angry should never mix. Recipe for disaster in my world.
Twenty minutes later we’re in line for coffees and next thing I know we’re leaving and heading toward the national park. The drive is quiet but comfortable as we fill the silence with meaningless but easy conversation. Derek parks, shuts off the ignition and leaves the car, rushing to my side as I open my door, and frowns, “I was getting the door for you Leigh.”
Chivalry. I have mixed emotions on this. My inner diva and my sweet princess collide and I’m never sure if I like a guy holding the door to a restaurant open for me or not. Same with car doors.
Depends on my mood. Right now it irritates me.
Returning the frown I question him, “Who gave you permission to call me Leigh?” It occurs to me that he’s done it quite a bit lately and I never told him that I was fine with that. Only Dev and my parents call me Leigh. Well, Ivey too but she’s my ride or die bitch so that doesn’t count.
Ride or die bitch? You know – if I gotta ditch the town or get away and need to move fast – she’s the one I call and never lets me down. Ride or die, always there. Besties for life.
He leans against the door and traps me in against the metal frame as I gaze up at him, “I do what I like Leigh. The sooner you accept it, the better.”
Tossing my long blonde hair over my shoulder like I’m unfazed by his words when they send an instant wave of heat straight to my core, my clit buzzes with desire, vibrating with the deep timbre of his sexy as hell voice. The heat intensifies and I’m tempted to touch myself right in front of him to see his reaction. Nah, too easy.
No guy can handle that kind of pressure. Telling him in a throaty low voice, trying to convince myself it’s true, I set him straight, “We’re not having sex.”
He leans back and smirks since those are the first words out of my mouth, “Not tonight.”
I want to argue. It’s in my nature – I’m not a sub at all, quite the opposite, even though I’m not opposed to a little BDSM play – but I bite my tongue. I’d rather know why he keeps asking me out and how he seems to know a lot more about me than he’s let on.
Besides, he’s a perfect ten on the fuckable meter so we both know it’s happening at some point. I could lie and say I didn’t want him but my soaked panties and heated crotch sort of prove the lie. In fact, I kind of hope he can smell my arousal and it makes him hard as a rock. I’d like to get a visual on what I’m working with here before anything goes down.
Come on. Don’t be shocked.
We all want to know what his dick is like before we get to business.
And another thing – erections are a turn on. Huge, at least for me.
If he’s got a big cock I’ve got something to add to my spank bank. Don’t say you don’t masturbate. We all do. Humans are sexual creatures. Don’t overthink it. Just be entertained.
We’re quiet for about a minute and then I decide that I need answers as he backs up, stepping away from the car, while I push him gently to the side, “How do you know so much about me? And don’t say it’s Devon.”
He tilts his head to the side, his ripped arms folding across his massive chest. My tongue flicks out to lick my bottom lip and I give my sex drive and clit a mental double slap. The whore. She’s always so damn horny.
“Let’s go for a walk. It’s pretty and we can see the stars so clear tonight,” he deflects and grasps my hand as we walk from his truck and pick up a trail that leads higher up into the mountains.
Good thing I have my trainers on. I’d be pissed if I was in heels.
“I wonder if we’ll see any shooting stars.”
He pulls me along, “Maybe honey, come on.”
Chapter 5
Derek leads me through a familiar trail I’ve run on frequently as we twist and turn through the path and high trees reaching above us into an uncluttered summer sky. The warm breeze rustles through the evergreen leaves as we pass and whispers softly across my skin. Smiling, I look up at the stars that shine and twinkle in bright white lights, sparkling down on me as if they hold a sweet and intriguing secret.
Wistful, I hardly notice as we stop and sit at a picnic area full of benches, outdoor metal grills, a parking lot further to the north, and a brick building that holds the only available restrooms in the vicinity next to a bulletin board about activities for the wildlife preserve. This park is large and connects by trails and picnic areas for miles.
Derek sits on the top of the wooden table and I join him, our thighs close enough to touch. He draws in a deep breath and slowly releases it with a small hiss through his upper teeth. It’s endearing. Makes me think how cute he must have been as a little boy. Have I ever mentioned that he has this adorable little gap between his front teeth?
I get the impression he’s nervous or anxious and I’m unsure why.
He asked me out, so what’s going on in his head?
Repeating my question in case he forgot, I turn in his direction, “How do you know so much about me Derek?”
“Why do you think I asked you out Leigh?”
And cue instant irritation. One of my pet peeves is when someone answers a question with a question. Stupid. Instantly makes me think he has something to hide or he’s trying to find out what I’m thinking before he responds which has no bearing on the truth. I scoot away from him a little and his eyes dart to my body as he watches the movement but he doesn’t try to pull me closer.
“You didn’t like me asking a question before I answered.” He doesn’t ask, he saw my reaction.
It’s not easy but I resist the urge to sigh. Right now I just want to know why he’s so hesitant so I kind of blurt out, “Yes. Why be so weirdly secretive?”
“Good observation baby but I’m not being hesitant. I’m actually wondering if you’re interested in the truth or you just want me to hurry up and say anything so I can take you home.” His dark eyes hold mine with intensity and I blink.
Huh?
For a moment I’m confused. Is he playing some kind of game?
I sit up straighter and then slide from the table, backing away slowly. He notices and I see him cringe with my next words, “I think we need to call it a night.”
“Why Leigh? Because you didn’t get your way?” He seems amused now. What’s his deal?
I’m not going to respond to that since I’ll just get pissed. “Take me back to my car.”
He smirks, “Did you just order me around?”
Yeah, I did. My chin rises a notch as I nod, “Yep.”
His head falls back as he laughs and it diffuses some of the weird tension between us. My shoulders relax and I shake my head at him. He’s so odd. I really can’t figure him out. I’m instantly reminded of Harley and the Joker and their own bizarre relationship. Against my better judgment I walk back to the bench and sit, on the opposite end, but I’m still there.
“Believe it or not Dev and I haven’t spoken about you much. He’s super protective over you Leigh. You know that,” he says and I shake my head but agree. “Doesn’t matter really because what I know of you,” he hesitates and then reveals, “I found out on my own.”
That statement is interesting so I turn to him instead of playing with the loose threads on the bottom of my tank top. “How?” I ask, just that one word. I want to know exactly what he’s been doing but I also want to know where he found his information because I’ve spent a lot of time and money burying those skeletons in my closet as deep as possible. They were never supposed to be found. Ever.
“Leigh . . .” He scoots a little closer.
Moving at the same moment as Derek I realize I can’t go any farther. I’m at the edge of the bench. “How?” I ask again, this time with an edge to my voice. I’m not happy.
“I have connections.”
What the fuck does that mean? “What kind of connections?”
“Listen honey, I know you’re scared, but I would never hurt or expose you,” he gulps hard and I see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, “I want to protect you Leigh. I swear.”
I’m supposed to take his word for it?
Who the fuck is this guy? He might be hot as hell but he isn’t who he appears to be, not at all. How did my brother get mixed up with him? How did they know each other?
“How did you meet Dev?”
“A party, a couple of years ago.”
“How convenient,” I murmur, sliding off the table, my eyes never leaving his dark irises, “seems more than coincidence.”
“It is,” he admits and confirms my suspicions, “but the reason isn’t what you think.”
“Don’t pretend to know what I’m thinking,” I blurt, suddenly angry. I don’t like this . . . or him right now. An hour ago I thought he was some hot guy to have a little fun with and now I was becoming scared. Reaching inside my purse I feel the cool metal of my gun slip into my fingers. No way was I going down without a fight. Pulling the weapon from my purse I aim at his chest and I’m surprised when he gives no outward indication this bothers him. Doesn’t matter. I’ll protect myself.
I’ve done it before and I can do it again.
Fuck!
When does the bullshit end?
“I know what you’re thinking,” he sighs, “Doesn’t matter. Just listen. Shit isn’t finished princess. It’s not anywhere near being resolved and you’re in danger.”
No shit. I think I understand that now.
“Leigh, I think you need to calm down. I’m not your enemy.”
No way.
I need to call Dev. He’ll know what to do. With shaky fingers I dial his number and wait impatiently for him to answer. He picks up on the fifth ring and I’m ready to strangle him for making me wait, “What Leigh? I was just getting ready –”
“Shut up Dev. I need you. Now.”
His voice is tense when he replies, “Where? You in danger honey?”
“Yucca Valley National Reserve,” I say through clenched teeth, my gaze locked on Derek. He’s not going to get the jump on me when my guard is down.
“I can be there in forty-five minutes. Are you alone?”
I want to reach through the damn cell and smack him. Why the hell would I call him if I was alone and not in danger? “Dev,” I try to keep my voice low and calm, “I’ve got my gun pointed at Derek and if he moves at all I’m going to shoot him.”
“What!? Leigh have you lost your fucking mind?”
Possibly. Isn’t the first time. Paranoia and I are old friends. “Listen Dev I can’t explain all this shit over the phone. Just get here. Fast,” I order and hang up on him before he responds.
Derek slides his ass down onto the bench seat of the wooden table and leans his back against the edge. He’s so tall that his elbows rest on the top without effort. There’s a confident smirk riding his handsome face and I want to slap it off.
“I’m glad you called him. Makes my j
ob easier.”
I want to ignore him but I can’t so I ask him a question instead, “Why did you ask me out tonight?”
His full bottom lip pushes out slightly as he smiles and it’s sexy as fuck but I smack my inner horny bitch and move on, staring him down, the barrel of my gun trained right on his broad chest. “Well baby, I guess you could say I needed to distract you.”
“You mean you intended to seduce me,” I say with more venom than I mean. He’s hot as hell and I don’t need much seduction to want to jump his bones.
He laughs, his head tilts back, and I want to smile at the throaty sensual sound, “Honey I don’t need to seduce you to have you in my bed but that’s not important right now.” I stiffen at his remark that I’m easy – even if I am dammit – and he sobers up. “I needed to bring you to my place for the night.”
“Why?”
“Haven’t we established the fact that you’re in danger?”
“From?” I ask directly, moving backward a few steps when he stands.
There’s a snap of twigs nearby as if someone is trying to be silent and accidentally makes the noise instead. I jump slightly, my eyes darting to the trees before coming back to rest on Derek.
The smile on his face disappears and he’s instantly on alert. “Leigh,” he whispers, “come closer to me, now.” He gestures to me earnestly and waves with his outstretched hand urgently as I hear a rustling in the trees that surround the picnic area, closer than before.
“Derek?” My voice quivers.
“Now, Leigh, run to me!”
Chapter 6
Scared out of my mind I make the split second decision to trust Derek, running right for his tall frame, shoving my gun inside my purse seconds before I leap into his waiting arms. His muscles contract as he catches me, his strength pulling my body flush against his chest.
“Close your eyes Leigh! No matter what, don’t open them!”
I don’t know why I obey him but I do, feeling the whoosh of the wind pass my face and the ground rumble beneath us as Derek runs. My head turns into his neck and I squeal, terrified, but not sure why I’m so afraid. Is it the unknown? The uncertainty? I can’t say for sure.
