‘I manage very easily. Don’t look so shocked. At least I’m not a hypocrite,’ he said, and sauntered out of the room.
No one else came all evening, apart from the maid who brought me my dinner on a tray – clear soup and an unbuttered roll and a glass of water. It looked as if they were trying to purify me. I didn’t really care. I wasn’t in the least bit hungry.
However, I did mind when no one came to say goodnight. They were treating me like a leper! I’d hoped that Papa might relent and come to my door to make sure I was all right.
I found myself longing for Nurse to come and comfort me the way she used to when I’d been naughty. She’d tut at me, but when I’d had my cry she’d pick me up in her arms and hold me close. ‘There, there,’ she’d go. ‘No need for any more tears. Nursie still loves you.’
But she clearly didn’t love me any more, because she didn’t come. I lay in bed, my head throbbing, aching with weariness but unable to sleep a wink. Some time after midnight my door opened and someone pattered across the floor.
‘Rose?’
It was Clover!
‘You shouldn’t be here, Clover! If they catch you they’ll send you away,’ I whispered. ‘Papa’s so angry now he might do anything.’
‘I don’t care,’ she said, climbing into my bed with difficulty. ‘My goodness, this is a squeeze! Why aren’t you sleeping in the big bed with the curtains?’
‘I don’t like it. It’s where Nurse Budd slept.’
‘I’m so glad she’s gone!’ Clover whispered. ‘Poor Beth wants her back, but it’s only because of that medicine. It’s going to be weeks before she stops wanting it.’
‘Don’t you mind looking after her? You have to have so much patience. I’ve tried, but I’m useless with her.’
‘I like trying to help her.’
‘I wish you could help me, Clover,’ I murmured, clinging to her. ‘My whole family’s turned against me.’
‘The maids are saying that you did bad things with Mr Walker. Did you?’
‘No, of course I didn’t. I just kissed him because I was so grateful,’ I said.
‘Just kissed him! Then why are they making such a silly fuss? The girls in Cripps Alley do far more than that,’ said Clover scornfully. ‘Boys down the alley tried to kiss me, but I wasn’t having it. I didn’t want anyone slobbering over me.’
‘Our kiss wasn’t slobbery,’ I said.
‘Anyway, why were you grateful to him?’ Clover asked.
I told her that he’d shown Miss Wentworth my card and she wanted to publish my work.
‘That’s wonderful! Your pictures will be in a proper paper!’
‘Well, it’s just a college paper, but lots of people read it. Of course, I don’t know whether she will use any of my drawings,’ I said.
‘Of course she will,’ said Clover. ‘You’ll be famous, Rose, you mark my words.’
‘You’re the one who’ll be famous,’ I said. ‘You’re a much better artist than me. Maybe one day, when we’re both grown up, we could share a studio,’ I suggested.
‘You and me? That would be lovely!’
‘What do you think’s going to happen to me, Clover? Are they going to keep me cooped up in this room until we go home next week?’ I asked her.
‘We’re going back tomorrow. Nurse and I have been packing the children’s trunks. We’re to get the ten-o’clock train. Didn’t they tell you?’
‘They haven’t told me anything! They didn’t even send a maid to help me pack my things,’ I said indignantly.
‘Well, I’ll help you now if you like,’ Clover offered.
‘No, better not. We might make a noise opening and shutting cupboards. You’d better go back to your room now, just in case, though I’d give anything for you to stay. You’re my only true friend in all the world, Clover. I thought Mr Walker was my friend, but he’s just run away. I don’t suppose he’ll be Papa’s friend any more either. I always counted Rupert as my best friend, but I don’t think even he really cares about me.’
‘Well, I care about you. Try to go to sleep now. Everything will be all right once we’re back in London,’ said Clover.
I tried to believe her. I lay awake long after she went, but eventually I fell fast asleep. I was woken by the maid coming into my room with a tray of tea and toast.
I sat up in bed and gulped my tea thirstily. ‘Thank you. Can you tell me the time, please?’
‘It’s ten to nine, miss,’ she said.
‘What!’ I started out of bed. ‘But we’ll have to leave soon to get the train! I haven’t even packed! Can you have my trunk brought in, please?’
‘Don’t fret, miss. You’re not getting the train.’
‘So we’re staying here for the rest of the holidays after all?’ I asked.
‘Well, you’re staying, miss,’ she said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’d better ask the mistress, miss.’
‘Are the rest of my family going back to London?’
‘Please, miss, I’ll be in so much trouble if I tell you,’ she said, nearly in tears.
‘They’re going without me? Not even saying goodbye?’ I said, unable to believe it.
‘We’re coming to say goodbye, Miss Rose,’ said Nurse, appearing in the doorway, Phoebe bundled in a shawl on her hip. ‘Your mama said she didn’t want any contact between you and your brothers and sisters, but it’s too cruel. You’re still a child, for all you’ve got yourself into a pickle and brought disgrace on us.’ She came forward and gave me a stiff little hug. I tried to hang onto her, but she eased herself away. ‘You’ll squash Baby,’ she said. ‘I’ll fetch the other children.’
First Sebastian came running in, holding his mouse cage. He was already buttoned into his outdoor coat, his face very pink.
‘Oh, Rose, I’m going to miss you so much,’ he said. ‘We don’t know what you’ve done, except it’s very bad, but I don’t care, I still love you.’
‘I love you too, Sebastian,’ I said. ‘I shall miss you so much too.’
‘Will you be very lonely?’ he asked. He went even pinker. ‘Perhaps I’d better let you have Montmorency for company.’
‘That’s so sweet of you, but I think he’d pine away without you,’ I said.
‘Yes, I think you’re right,’ said Sebastian, mightily relieved.
I pushed back his soft white hair and whispered into his ear, ‘Do you know where I’m going if I can’t come home with you?’
He shook his head. ‘They won’t tell and Nurse says she doesn’t know.’
Algie and Clarrie came in together, holding hands. Clarrie was crying, her face damp with tears as she pressed it against mine.
‘Bye bye, Rose. Promise you’ll come back to us soon?’
I promised, hoping against hope that I would.
‘Crybaby!’ Algie said scornfully to Clarrie – but when I gave him a hug he burst into tears himself. ‘Don’t go!’ he begged, though he was the one going, not me.
Then Clover appeared, encouraging Beth to come with her. Beth started whimpering again when she saw the washstand. She touched the empty amber cabinet and shook her head sadly.
‘Say goodbye to Rose,’ Clover prompted her.
‘Goodbye to Rose,’ Beth repeated obediently.
But when she got to the door again she turned. ‘Rose, Rose, Rose!’ she wailed.
‘Oh, Beth!’ I cried. I tried to give her a hug but she shrank away.
‘Goodbye, Rose,’ Clover whispered. There were tears in her big green eyes.
I wasn’t going to be thwarted again. I put my arms round her and gave her the longest, fiercest hug. ‘Goodbye, my dearest friend,’ I said.
Rupert was last. He shook his head. ‘Oh dear Lord, this is like those child death scenes in sentimental books. It’s as if little Rose is about to join the angels. Or devils, in your case, if the parents are to be believed.’
‘Mr Rupert!’ Nurse reprimanded him. ‘Say goodbye to your sister and st
op this nonsense. Come on, we’ve got to set off to the station.’
‘Goodbye, Rose,’ said Rupert, and then he dashed out of the room.
‘That’s a fine way for your brother to behave,’ Nurse clucked, but I’d seen that Rupert’s face was screwed up to stop himself crying.
‘What about Mama and Papa, Nurse? They’re coming to say goodbye, aren’t they?’ I asked.
She looked uncomfortable. ‘I don’t think so, dear. Perhaps they think it will be less upsetting,’ she said.
‘Papa’s not coming to say goodbye?’ I whispered.
‘Perhaps he’ll change his mind at the last minute,’ she said. ‘Goodbye, Miss Rose. Do try to be a good sensible girl now.’
She left the room so quickly I didn’t get a chance to kiss my littlest sister goodbye.
The maid was hovering, near tears herself. ‘Finish your breakfast and get yourself washed and dressed, miss,’ she said. ‘The mistress said you were to come downstairs at ten o’clock.’
I drank the rest of my tea, but my throat ached so much I couldn’t swallow any toast. I washed and put on my best green frock, taking care to brush my hair properly.
As the grandfather clock struck ten, I walked downstairs, my head held high. A couple of young maids peeped at me from behind the green baize door, nudging each other, their eyes round.
I went into the drawing room. Grandmama was sitting bolt upright on a hard chair, her face stony. Grandpapa was drumming his fingers on the velvet cushions of the Chesterfield.
‘There you are, Rose. At least you’re prompt,’ said Grandmama. She peered at me, frowning. ‘Look at you, all got up as if you’re about to go visiting! You don’t seem even a wee bit ashamed of your conduct.’
‘I can’t seem to please you at all, Grandmama. If I’d come down in my nightgown you’d have told me off even more,’ I said.
‘You wee besom!’ She heaved herself to her feet.
‘So it’s my turn for a good slapping?’ I said, determined not to show her that I was frightened.
Grandmama snorted, and looked at Grandpapa. ‘You deal with her, Angus. I can’t bear to look at her any more.’
‘That’s what Papa said about me,’ I murmured.
‘Well, I never thought I’d have anything in common with that father of yours, but we are united on this matter,’ said Grandmama. ‘Please do your best to keep out of my way until you go, Rose.’
She walked out of the room with as much dignity as she could muster, though I noticed for the first time that she had started to move with an old woman’s shuffle. Grandpapa looked very old, his white hair standing on end. He’d had a restless night too.
He sat silently watching me. I stood there, still as a statue.
‘You can’t fool me, Rose,’ he said suddenly. ‘You’re in despair, aren’t you, lassie?’
I nodded. ‘Am I really to be kept away from my family?’ I asked huskily.
‘For a while. Sit yourself down now.’
It was as well he’d given me permission, for I’d have fallen down any second.
‘If you ask me this is all a nonsense,’ said Grandpapa. ‘Everyone’s nerves are fraught after the fiasco last night, with poor Jeannie getting in such a state and your father making a fool of himself over that wretched woman. I think you’ve been turned into a wee scapegoat, Rose. I don’t think you were seriously carrying on with the artist. I’m sure that wicked nurse was telling lies – and your mama is simply deluded. It seems to me you’re still an innocent little girl. However, if this artist chappie forced himself on you I’ll have him horsewhipped.’
‘It wasn’t his fault. Or mine. I just hugged him because I was so happy. Mama misunderstood. Papa did too,’ I said. ‘Oh, Grandpapa, at last someone’s on my side!’
‘I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, lass. You’ve behaved very stupidly – and taking that insolent attitude with your grandmother won’t help. I can’t wave a magic wand and make everything all right. I don’t think you’re old enough for true seduction, but I certainly think you’re old enough to understand that you behaved very unwisely.’
‘I promise I’ll behave myself now, Grandpapa. I’ll be as good as gold. But how long do I have to stay here?’ I asked.
‘You’re not staying here, child! Your grandmother won’t countenance it. You’re being sent away as a punishment,’ he said.
‘Sent away!’ The room seemed to spin around me. Where were they sending me? ‘To an asylum?’ I whispered.
Grandpapa stared at me and then burst out laughing. ‘Dear heavens, child, what an idea! I have an institution in mind, certainly, but scarcely an asylum. I have written to Chadwick Hall – it’s a girls’ boarding school by the sea. The Master of the Hunt sends his three lassies there. I don’t hold with schooling for girls, but I think you’d benefit, especially as you seem to like studying. It will give you a chance to forget all this unpleasantness. If the headmistress will take you, I’ll get your grandmama or her maid to take you to Draffens department store to kit you out in the right uniform. You should be able to start at the beginning of term. What do you think, eh?’
What do I think? I’m going to school. It’s what I’ve always longed for. I’d imagined intellectual teachers, lively girls, long talks about life and art and literature, fascinating new forays into science and maths and Latin and Greek. But I have to admit I’m scared. I have no idea what it will really be like. The other girls will all be Scottish, so I’ll stand out with my English accent. I will probably be an odd one out anyway. All the girls I’ve met think I’m strange and don’t really want to be friends. I suspect I’ll be very lonely. I can’t even box if the girls turn against me!
I must take courage. Show some grit, like Clover, like Hetty Feather. A girls’ boarding school isn’t a slum alley or a foundling hospital. I will get an education at last. Perhaps I will even go on to study for a degree like Miss Wentworth. I have her address tucked inside my sketchbook.
I am not going to think about Papa, though his coldness breaks my heart. I am not going to think about Mama. I am not going to think about my siblings, not even Rupert.
I can’t help thinking about Paris.
He’s sent me a letter. The maid slipped it to me, knowing that Grandmama would confiscate it if she saw it.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps …
Is he my loving friend? Does he really care for me?
I know Clover cares. She is my friend. I twist the silver bangle on my wrist. Hetty Feather is my friend too. I hope I have their courage. Perhaps I will make even more friends at school. Please wish me luck.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JACQUELINE WILSON wrote her first novel when she was nine years old, and she has been writing ever since. She is now one of Britain’s bestselling and most beloved children’s authors. She has written over 100 books and is the creator of characters such as Tracy Beaker and Hetty Feather. More than forty million copies of her books have been sold.
As well as winning many awards for her books, including the Children’s Book of the Year, Jacqueline is a former Children’s Laureate, and in 2008 she was appointed a Dame.
Jacqueline is also a great reader, and has amassed over twenty thousand books, along with her famous collection of silver rings.
Find out more about Jacqueline and her books at www.jacquelinewilson.co.uk
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
NICK SHARRATT has written and illustrated many books for children and won numerous awards for his picture books, including the Children’s Book Award and the Educational Writers’ Award. He has also enjoyed great success illustrating Jacqueline Wilson’s books. Nick lives in Brighton.
VISIT JACQUELINE’S FANTASTIC WEBSITE!
There’s a whole Jacqueline Wilson town to explore! You can generate your own special username, customize your online bedroom, test your knowledge of Jacqueline’s books with fun quizzes and puzzles, and upload book reviews. There’s lots of fun stuff to discover, including competitions, book traile
rs, and Jacqueline’s scrapbook. And if you love writing, visit the special storytelling area!
Plus, you can hear the latest news from Jacqueline in her monthly diary, find out whether she’s doing events near you, read her fan-mail replies, and chat to other fans on the message boards!
www.jacquelinewilson.co.uk
ALL ABOUT THE VICTORIANS
Rose Rivers’ story takes place in London during the reign of Queen Victoria. Read on to find out more about this important period in history …
Queen Victoria ruled for sixty-three years from 1837 until her death in 1901. Born in 1819, she was only eighteen years old when she became queen!
Queen Victoria married Prince Albert, and they had nine children together. Queen Victoria’s descendants are still on the British throne today – Queen Elizabeth II is Queen Victoria’s great-great-granddaughter.
Like Clover Moon, many Victorians were born into extreme poverty. Children from very poor families wouldn’t have gone to school; instead, they went to work in factories, mines, or as chimney sweeps or shoeblacks; or they might have sold items like matches or flowers on the streets. Many Victorians were so poor that they were forced into workhouses – factories where people worked in terrible conditions in exchange for scraps of food and a place to sleep.
In contrast, other Victorians, like Rose Rivers’ family, were extremely rich! Boys from wealthy families were sent to school and often to university. Wealthy girls, on the other hand, might have been sent to a ‘finishing school’ where they would learn to become a ‘lady’, taking lessons in French, singing and dancing, playing the piano – and even curtseying!
The legacy of the Victorian era is very much still felt around the world today. It was a period of great human ingenuity – now called the Industrial Revolution – during which British scientists and engineers invented key technologies that have shaped the modern world. But it was also a time of great hardship and suffering for many poor people in Britain and around the world who were powerless in the face of the might of the British Empire.
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