by Jenny Bloom
When they arrived at the studio, Lisa parked near the front. Then they proceeded to walk inside. They were signed up for a beginner’s couple class. When they sat down in the corner, Anna sighed.
“It feels nice to be in a place where people encourage you to create. I don’t really do much creation at my day job,” Anna said.
“You’re an investor,” Lisa said.
“That’s a nice way to put it. Basically, I just tally up a bunch of bullshit, write down some numbers, and then go on my merry way,” Anna said.
“Sounds rough,” Lisa said.
“I’m trying the best I can. It’s not easy out there,” Anna said.
“You’re telling me. There’s a lot that I’d like to tell you about. A lot of it would help explain everything,” she said.
“I know you have your own demons. And, I don’t want to pry,” Anna said.
“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner either. Things are hard for me. Hard to explain. I have a lot of baggage. That’s partially why I was so distant about talking to you because I didn’t know how you’d take it. But you deserve an explanation Anna, which I’ll give you later,” she said.
“Thanks, Lisa. I know that, even with how things have been, talking to you now makes everything better,” Anna said.
“Talking to you has done me a lot of good. I welcome the conversation,” she said.
“I welcome it too,” Anna replied.
For a moment, they didn’t say anything more. Anna could see the true colors coming out of Lisa’s words. The truth about what was happening. Lisa was a broken woman. She was suffering in her own way. She had a difficult time talking about it, even to Anna. However, Anna understood why.
She could see Lisa was struggling with everything that was happening to her. Anna felt the pain that she was going through. Anna just wanted to sit there and tell her it would be okay, even when she doubted that herself.
***
After the pottery class was done, Anna then held Lisa’s hand. Lisa felt a blush creep up on her cheeks.
“Sorry if it’s awkward or anything,” Anna said.
“No, it’s wonderful. There are Christmas lights in the park. I’d love to take you there,” she said.
Anna nodded. “I’d love that too,” she replied.
They took each other’s hands. For a moment, neither own said anything. It was obvious Anna was definitely nervous, but she could see that Lisa was just as nervous. As they made their way over to the car, Anna wanted to ask what happened, why the sudden change, and that she understood the issues going on. Anna left it at that. She knew that Lisa would speak when she was ready.
“Don’t worry about me, Anna. I’m fine,” she said.
“You say that, but I can tell you’re not,” Anna said.
“I am, Anna. I’ll tell you everything that’s going on, I promise,” she replied.
Anna nodded, wondering herself what was happening. They climbed into the car and drove to the park.
***
“We’re here,” Lisa said.
Anna got out, looked at Lisa for a second, and then back at the place around her. It was beautiful. Anna gasped at the sight of the breathtaking beauty. There were lights all around. Even though she normally didn’t feel the Christmas spirit, there was something about the park that made it trickle in.
“It’s wonderful,” Anna said.
“It sure is,” Lisa said.
“I’m so happy right now,” Anna said.
“I am too. I’m glad I got to share it with you. I’ve wanted to come here for a while. But I felt a little bit limited since I didn’t have anyone to go with,” she said.
“Well, we came together,” Anna said.
“Perfect,” she said.
Anna then looked at her. Lisa seemed fine, but Anna could also see the downcast look to her eyes.
Something upset her, but she doesn’t know what.
The time they spent together was wonderful. They explored all of the different paths, all the lights and sounds that were there. It certainly was a different experience. Anna started to feel the way things were and the difference it made in her life. Then, Anna pointed to a bench. There was a hot cocoa station nearby. Lisa went over to get some. Anna sat down, shivering slightly. When Lisa returned with hot cocoa, they sat together.
“I want to get a picture of this, if that’s okay?” Lisa asked.
“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” Anna inquired.
“I’m sorry. It’s just a bad habit of asking,” she said.
“You’re fine. You don’t have to ask,” Anna said.
They took the picture together, both of them sitting pleasantly and smiling. When Lisa was finished, she turned to Anna.
“Send that to me, please,” Anna asked.
“Sure. Here,” Lisa said.
The image was quickly sent, and Anna looked at it, smiling.
“You’re the first woman I’ve gone out with who does things like that. It’s cute,” Lisa said.
“Well, you matter a lot to me, Anna. And I think it’s time you heard the explanation behind my aloofness,” she said.
Anna nodded, sat there and was ready to listen. Whatever Lisa had to tell her was something they needed to discuss. Something important.
Chapter Twelve
Lisa sighed, knowing that whatever she said next could determine their future. She sighed and began to speak.
“So, to preface all of this, this is something from my past that I need to discuss with you,” she said.
“Okay. That’s fine,” Anna replied.
“The truth is, I lost my former partner about two years ago. She had cancer,” Lisa said.
“I’m so sorry to learn that,” Anna said.
“Thanks for that. I've been looking to move on. You’ve helped me start to do that, Anna. The story behind her is simple. When I was younger, I met this woman. Her name was Janice. I loved her a lot. We spent fifteen years together, but we never married. She had issues with her body, especially when it came to endometriosis. However, neither one of us believed it would turn what it did,” she explained.
“What happened?” Anna asked.
“Cervical cancer. It came on so suddenly. She always had her pap smears, always saw her doctor. One day, it just grew. It turned out that she was so far gone that when she died, she was already in terrible shape. They tried to do chemo, but it was too much for her body. They tried to remove the cancer, but it was a pretty traumatic situation for both of us. I stayed by her side every step of the journey because I loved her. I was with her until the day she passed. I followed her wishes and cremated her. I’ve felt empty ever since. I always felt like we’d be the couple who grew old together. It wasn’t the case. Instead, it was the harsh reality that people do die, that life does end at death, and it sucks,” she said.
“I’m so sorry,” Anna said.
“Don’t be. She’s in a better place. Before she passed, she said if I ever found someone who made me feel the same way as I did for her, I needed to follow my heart. I needed to fall in love and never let her go. She wanted me to be happy. Her last words have hung with me all this time. Anna, I want to be happy. I really do,” she said.
“I want you to be happy,” Anna said.
“The reason why I didn’t say anything is that I was scared. I didn’t know if you’d run away knowing my tale. I was afraid to face my feelings and come to terms with it all. After a lot of soul-searching and thinking, I have a better understanding of who I am. I know what I want now. Anna, I want you. I’ve fallen in love with you,” Lisa said.
Anna looked at her with surprise.
“You do?” she asked.
“I do. Why, is that bad?” she asked.
“Not at all. I love you too Lisa. I really do. The concept of love is strange to me. I thought I loved Peter, but it just wasn’t for me. With you, I feel like all of the worry, all of the fear, and all of the pain from the past is gone. I can look forward to a future,” she sa
id.
“I’m sorry for not being honest sooner. Things are sometimes hard. I still have a bit of work to do to recover. I’ve never experienced death the way I did when I lost her completely. It’s a hard road, but it’s a road I’m working to travel on better,” she said.
“And you’re doing great,” Anna said.
“Thank you. I do appreciate the support,” she said with a smile.
Lisa felt happy and excited. Despite all of the struggles in the past, everything seemed real.
“By the way Lisa, I do want to apologize. For pushing you so much. I’m sorry if I got mad when we met up at the art gallery. I didn’t mean to sound so angry. I was just concerned and saddened to think you had forgotten about me, or you didn’t care. I now understand why,” she said.
“Death affects us all differently. I know with myself, it’s hard to let go of certain feelings. You’re a strong woman, and I do applaud everything you do,” she said.
.
The smile that was on Anna’s face warmed Lisa’s heart. She didn’t regret telling Anna and sharing her feelings. Everything felt right and so real.
It was obvious that it was the beginning of something, something that even Lisa didn’t understand herself. However, the unknown wasn’t going to get in the way. Lisa was just happy to finally start making progress, to finally move on, and finally feel whole once more.
“Do you want to see each other?” Anna asked.
“Of course. And when the time is right, I’ll meet Nina,” she said.
“Good. I want you to. I’ve been worried about Nina because I don’t know how she’ll take it,” Anna said.
“She’s ten, right? She should at least understand what’s going on. You know, with people being in love and all,” Lisa explained.
“You’d be surprised. I’m not sure how kids take this stuff these days. I want to believe it’ll be all right,” she said.
“Anna, if I can start to come to terms with my past, you can tell her. I’m sure she's old enough to understand,” Lisa said.
“I know she is. That’s not the part I’m worried about. I’m worried she won’t accept it,” she said.
“I know Anna. But, you’re not going through any of this alone. I’ll help you and you help me heal and move on. I know you make me happy. I don’t have sex with just anyone. But I guess, the right person makes me feel like it’s worth it. Anna, you’re the right one to me,” she said.
“I felt the same way. I don’t know if ‘fate’ was at work there or not. But, I’m happy to be by your side, Lisa. Happy to have you here with and beside me,” she said.
“I’m glad you understand Anna,” Lisa said.
The kiss they shared at that point made Lisa's heart lurch. She loved Anna. Lisa knew that, no matter what the odds, no matter what may happen next, everything would be okay. It was the beginning of a brighter, better future. It was Anna’s beginning too.
When they pulled away from their kiss, Anna flushed.
“I’m glad you’re here. I’ll try to talk to Nina about everything as quickly as I can,” she said.
“Don’t rush it. Take all the time you feel you need. I’ll be here regardless,” she said.
“My ex-husband, Peter, invited me to Christmas dinner. He said I could bring you. I know it might be awkward, but I think he wants to meet you because he thinks of you as becoming a part of the family. Are you okay with that?” Anna asked.
Lisa blushed. She didn’t think she was worth that much. But she was happy to at least be acknowledged by Anna’s family.
“Let me think about it and I’ll get right back with you,” Lisa said.
“Good. Thank you, Lisa,” she said.
“Anyway, let’s head on back,” Lisa said.
They made their way to the car, sighing in relief at the warm air as it hit them. When they drove back, neither of them said much, their minds on other things. Lisa knew that no matter what happened and no matter what life threw at Anna or herself, everything would be fine.
***
When they arrived at Lisa’s place. Anna and Lisa said their goodbyes.
“I should be going. I’ve got Nina all next week, but if you want, we can spend time together in between me working and then heading home. Though, I might be busy with the new projects too,” she said.
“Okay. I have my own projects to worry about,” she said.
Anna bade farewell before heading out. Lisa watched her drive away and disappear in the distance. She let out a long sigh. I want to let go of these feelings. To finally move on, after all this time, she told herself.
Lisa entered her home and shut the door behind her. She saw all the pictures of her and Janice. The pictures with them smiling, with them both feeling happy and loved by each other, the pictures of a different time. Anna was different from Janice. While Lisa loved and did love Janice, she knew Anna was her chance for a new life. Lisa wanted nothing more than to just let things go the way she wanted them to.
Perhaps it was also one of the reasons why she hadn’t moved on. She was holding onto those memories instead of letting go.
Lisa grabbed each of the pictures. She looked at them and remembered the happy memories with Janice. Then she gave each one a final kiss goodbye. She would finally leave that part of her past, and finally, move onto the future.
“I’m sorry Janice, but I’ve found someone new. You told me it was time to move on. I’m going to do just that. Move on,” she said.
She took the pictures and put them in the box that she had on hand. She took them, putting them in the storage room she never visited. They say out of sight, out of mind, but there was no way Lisa could ever forget Janice.
For the first time in a long time, Lisa was happy. She knew that Anna loved her, and the future they had together was real. She was no longer going to allow the memories of her past to hold her back. Instead, she would onto her memories because they were a part of her life. They would no longer hold her back from life.
Lisa now felt safe, secure and ready for the future. She was happy. It was the beginning of a bright, rewarding future. Lisa also felt her relationship with Anna was just the beginning of things to come. However, she also thought it would be best to take things slowly, to see where it would go, and to go from there.
At least, that was what she thought.
***
An hour or so passed when Lisa decided she needed to call Anna. For a moment, she heard a pause, and then Anna spoke.
“Hi Lisa. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yes. I wanted you to know that I accept your invitation to dinner for Christmas. I’m doing a whole lot better, and I’m ready to be the best person I can be for you,” she said.
There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. While Lisa didn’t understand what was so funny, she could tell Anna was definitely in a better mood herself.
“I’m glad you finally worked through it. This is the beginning of a new life for the both of us,” Anna said.
“It sure is. It’s time to move on. It’s time to have the best experience possible. I’m ready to take a chance again, no matter what,” Lisa said.
Anna giggled. Lisa felt her heart becoming whole. She knew that it was the future she decided for herself. No matter what life threw at her next, everything would be okay.
Chapter Thirteen
Anna had just arrived home when she received an urgent call from the emergency department at Monroe General Hospital. Anna picked up her phone and didn’t recognize the number. However, something told her to answer it.
“Hello?” Anna asked.
“May I speak to Ms. Anna Jackson, please,” the unknown voice asked.
“This is she. And you are?” Anna asked.
“This is Gloria at Monroe General Hospital. A Peter Jackson was brought to the emergency room about an hour ago after suffering a serious fall.”
“Oh Jesus,” Anna said. Peter wasn’t that old, but he was a little clumsy. She knew he probably fell an
d hurt his back or something.
“We wanted to let you know that he’s here. You are on his emergency contact list to call.”
“Is my daughter in there as well?” she asked.
“Yes, she’s here and being watched by one of the nurses. You daughter is a brave girl. She called 911.”
“How is Peter doing?” Anna asked.
“He is currently with the doctors. His status is unknown at this time. As soon as you arrive at the hospital, go straight to the emergency ward. You can speak with the doctors at that time.”
“Thank God. Can you tell me how my daughter is handling it? she asked.
“From what I’ve heard, she’s just a little shaken up by everything,” the hospital worker said.
“I don’t blame her. I’m sure it scared her. Thank you so much. I’m on my way,” Anna said.
Racing over to the hospital, Anna felt like her heart was beating a 100 times an minute. Her heart raced. While she was no longer with Peter, she knew about his bad back. This wasn’t going to be fun for anyone.
When she got to the hospital, she ran inside, motioning to the nurses to find out where he was. She got to the room. There was Nina, with one of the hospital nurses, holding her hand.
“Your dad will be okay sweetie,” the nurse said.
“Hey. I’m her mom. Is Peter all right?” Anna asked.
Anna looked at the nurse, who then pulled her to the side. Anna followed. When she got over there, the nurse spoke.
“There is a problem,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“When Peter fell, he fell on some sort of object and injured himself. He has several deep wounds. He may have some internal bleeding as well. The doctors are trying to stabilize him now. Depending on what the doctors find, there is always the possibility that he may not make it through,” she said.
“Oh God,” Anna said.
“I haven’t been able to tell your daughter yet, but you should definitely have that conversation with her,” the nurse said.
