“I can attest to that,” Gertie added.
Glinda tossed her a scowl. “Do not push me, Sister.”
Cackling in amusement, Gertie enveloped her twin in a hearty embrace.
Mairi could not help but smile at the exchange. ’Twas refreshing to witness the power of a few kind words. She peered over her shoulder at Connor, but the lad had slipped from the kitchens without a sound.
Shaking her head, she blew out a puff of air. There was a great deal of work ahead of her if she had any hopes of helping the MacRae brothers sort out their troubles.
Chapter Ten
LATER THAT EVE, Mairi surveyed the hall with a satisfied smile, noting the contented faces of the MacRaes seated around trestle tables. Between stuffing their mouths, a buzz of chatter rose from the clan as they remarked on the evening meal Glinda had served. After her and Gertie’s discussion with the cook earlier in the day, Glinda prepared an outright feast in comparison to her usual, tasteless fare.
A host of foods ranging from a delicious pottage of fish, vegetables, herbs and spices in a savory broth, to roasted mutton, accompanied with freshly-baked breads filled each occupied trestle table in the hall. The woman even presented a sampling of sweet treats, including the cakes Gertie requested.
’Twas pleasant to spy something other than melancholy in the MacRaes’ countenances. Of course, if Aaron had joined his clan, that might’ve improved matters. Alas, the man was absent from the hall once again, giving more weight to Glinda’s words. Though, the absence of another familiar face troubled her more.
Connor.
She’d not caught sight of him since he’d quietly fled the kitchens that morn. She could not fathom why his feelings should bother her, but they did.
In truth, she’d not fully forgiven the lad for his deception or placing her kin at risk to rescue her. Despite the fact he’d nearly grown into a full-fledged man, he was still young and foolhardy, which reflected in his thoughtless actions. Even if his intentions were pure.
Shaking her head, she lifted her tankard and swallowed a mouthful of ale. ’Twas foolish of her to wish to help the MacRae brothers, but that was a fault of her disposition. The odd need to seek the goodness in everyone compelled her. Granted, her bold nature and rash words had gotten her into her fair share of trouble on more than one occasion, as it’d nearly done with Glinda.
With a full belly, she pushed away her empty trencher and focused on Niall, who was seated across the table. The big man took care to allow Kate the choicest bits of fare from their shared trencher. ’Twas obvious to anyone with eyes that he cared for the comely, blonde maid. And if Kate’s reddened cheeks were any indication, she, too, shared affection for the man.
“Niall, have you seen Connor this eve?” Mairi grabbed a sweet cake from the platter between them. “I’ve not seen him since this morn.”
His brows tugged a fraction lower. “Nay, I’ve not seen him. Mayhap, he’s with Aaron.”
Speaking of the other brother, she asked in genuine curiosity, “Does he ever dine in the hall?”
Since her arrival, she’d not witnessed Aaron step foot in the hall once.
“Nay, my lady,” Kate answered her query. “He tends to keep to himself. Though, Connor dines with us each eve. ’Tis unlike him to miss a meal.”
Just as Mairi suspected. With his hasty departure, she’d surmised Glinda’s words had affected the young man in some manner.
She asked Niall, “Where do you suppose I might find Connor?”
With a slight narrowing of his gaze, Niall hesitated to speak. He displayed an unflinching loyalty to the brothers. Though, she’d noticed that the redhead struggled with the weight of feminine stares, which she was not above exploiting.
In a pleading tone, she begged, “Please, Niall?”
He huffed out an exasperated gust of air. “When he’s in a bit of a mood, if I had to guess…I might check the stables.”
“In truth?” She lifted a dubious brow.
“Aye.” Niall shrugged. “He enjoys caring for the horses.”
“Thank you, Niall.” She smiled and stood, pushing her chair backward. “I shall not divulge you told me.”
“My lady, if you plan to step outside, then bundle up tight,” he warned. “Though the snow has stopped, the sea wind is biting this eve.”
Nodding her thanks, she grabbed a handful of Glinda’s sweet oatcakes, bundling them in one of the linen cloths on the table. She explained to the others, “I thought he might care for a taste.”
Once she donned her fur-lined mantle and wrapped another thick fur around her shoulders, she hastened out in the cold toward the stables. Niall was not mistaken in the least. The sea wind cut straight to the bone. She exerted quite a bit of force barring the stable doors against the wind.
Within the safety of the stable walls, two lanterns added a soft glow to the dim interior. Aside from the whining wind and the stray clack of a horse’s hoof, the enclosure sat in a calm stillness.
“Connor,” she called out.
Mairi waited a few moments but received no answer. She nearly turned around and retreated to the warmth of the keep, but the young man’s muttered affirmation halted her.
Padding toward the stall in the rear corner, she peeked over the railing. Inside, Connor passed a bristled brush through his gelding’s mane.
“You should not be out here.” He paused long enough proffer a sullen frown in her direction. “What are you doing, Mairi?”
His doleful features jabbed at her soft heart. “Searching for you.”
Connor grunted. “Why?”
“I did not see you at the evening meal.” She extended her hand, offering him the bundled cloth of sweets. “I thought you might like to try Glinda’s cakes.”
“So, your plan worked, eh?” He patted his gelding and strode from inside the stall, latching the postern behind him.
Mairi shrugged. “You might’ve seen had not you left in such a hurry.” She offered the cakes once more. “Here. I brought them for you.”
For a moment, she thought he might refuse, but he accepted the bundle from her and tossed the brush into a leather satchel along the railing. ’Twas fair to say he was in a poor mood, if the rigid set of his shoulders and the firm line of his mouth were any indication.
Without a word, he eased down on a pile of hay outside the pen and crossed his legs. He flicked a glance at her and tipped his head for her to join him. She would rather not. But she sensed his need to speak, even if she had to pry the words from him. With a bit of reluctance, she settled on the prickly straw beside Connor.
For a while, they merely sat in silence, listening to the chorus of howls outside the stable doors. In good time, Connor unwrapped the bundle and lifted a cake to his mouth, nibbling on the edge. Swallowing, he snorted softly. “I see why Gertie likes them.”
Mairi shifted to face him, studying his downcast profile. ’Twas remarkable how much he resembled his brother. “Why were you not in the hall this eve?”
Staring at the cloth in his lap, he finished the last bite of his cake. With a furrowed brow, he craned his neck to meet her gaze. “Do you think my brother is as wretched as Glinda says?”
At first, the question caught her off guard. ’Tis truth, she was unsure what she thought of Aaron of late. While she understood the cook’s anger, there were matters Mairi did not quite fully grasp. ’Twas unfair of her to assign blame to Aaron without knowing what troubled the man. Surely, something must. Though, she agreed with Glinda in regard to one matter. Aaron needed to step into his role as laird, whether he wished to or not. His clan needed him, as did his brother.
“Nay, I do not think him terrible. Neither does Glinda. But, I do believe he must speak to the clan. ’Tis evident the lack of leadership weighs on them. I think it weighs on you, too.”
Taking a bite of the second cake, he mumbled around a mouthful, “It does.”
“Then why does he ignore them?” In truth, she genuinely wished to learn the answer.<
br />
Connor swallowed his bite and studied the remainder resting in his palm. “He does not speak much of his concerns to me, but I know he believes he’s unworthy of the position of laird. Truth is, he’s ashamed to face our clan. He feels as though he’s let them down for too long.”
She struggled to understand. “But why?”
Sucking in a deep breath, Connor set the cake aside and shifted to face her. “He holds himself responsible for the hardships that have befallen our clan under my father’s rule. So, he wallows in his shame and guilt. ’Tis unbearable for me to witness.” He waved a hand at her. “Then there’s the matter of you and MacGregor’s wife.”
“But none of that was his fault,” she affirmed. “Neither Arabella nor I blame him for the actions he took to spare your life.”
“I know that,” he muttered. “But, he does not listen to a word I speak. He believes he should’ve challenged our father to remove him as laird. I’ve tried to make him understand there was no stopping our father. If Aaron would’ve tried, our father might’ve imprisoned him, or worse, killed him. The horrid man’s death was the only good to come from the whole accursed affair with Longford.”
“What of me?” She nudged him with her elbow.
He tilted his head in confusion.
Mairi grinned. “The two of you met me.”
He released a humorless snort. “Look where that’s gotten you.”
She swatted his knee. “Barring your falsehood and your brother’s insufferable moods, I have never regretting meeting either of you. Even now, I’m pleased to see you both again. Though, I might’ve preferred better circumstances, but what’s done is done.”
As was the young man’s habit, he speared her with his dark, soulful gaze—a gaze that had glimpsed far too much misfortune for his age. “I vow I never meant to cause you or anyone else problems by bringing you here, Mairi. Please, believe me when I say, Aaron is truly a decent, honorable man.” He placed a hand to his chest as if to accentuate his words. “Despite his recent behavior, he truly cares for you. More than he will allow himself to admit.”
The earnest words clutched at her chest, giving her heart a hopeful squeeze. “I wish I could believe that, but I’m not so certain, Connor.”
“’Tis true.” He scooted closer and placed a hand over hers. “He’s spoken of you a little to me. I see the spark enter his eyes when he speaks of you. No matter how he’s tries, he cannot hide the truth from me. ’Twas foolish but I thought by bringing you here that I might somehow save both of you.”
The steady thump in her chest quickened to a thudding patter. “Save us? How—”
“When I heard word you were to marry another, I could not believe my ears. I was sure you cared for my brother. How could you have forgotten him so easily and fallen in love with another?” His gaze shifted to his lap and he shook his head. “’Twas ridiculous of me to believe I could unite the two of you.”
For a moment, she closed her eyes, absorbing his words. Struck with the urge to ease his burden, she admitted the truth of her upcoming nuptials. “I do not love Patrick MacEwan.”
His head snapped up, his gaze searching hers. “Then why are you marrying him?”
Though it pained her to admit, she confessed her greatest fear. “So I shall not end up alone.”
“But, you’re not alone. What of your family?”
The lad was too young to comprehend the burden she carried on her shoulders. Or better yet, the burden she placed on her kin’s shoulders.
“My family has found love and started families of their own. ’Tis not their place to care for me for the rest of my life. I should’ve wed long before now and spared my brother the responsibility.”
“But Aaron—”
“Nay, Connor.” Her voice climbed. “Not one single day in more than a year has your brother made any effort to seek me out. You speak of feeling foolish. What of me? Do you have any notion how often I’d hoped he would come for me? That he’d somehow find a way to get word to me. But, naught.” She ground her teeth in frustration as the sting of tears burned in her eyes. “How long was I to wait?”
He grasped her hands in his. “My brother never came because he feels he does not deserve you or your love.”
Mairi’s heart stuttered over several beats while Connor’s words spun in her head. Did the young man speak the truth? She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “Why would he think such?”
“You’ve seen our keep and what little we have. The MacRaes are a poor clan. We’re not wealthy like the MacGregors. Aaron has naught to offer you.”
What a foolish notion. ’Twas not the man’s keep she’d dreamed of the past year.
She snorted. “Apparently, you do not know the MacGregors well, Connor. My brother has worked hard over the years to provide for our clan. We’re not poor but we are not wealthy by any means. Everyone in the clan, my brother included, toils hard to earn what we have. I cannot say how long it shall take, but the MacRaes shall recover as well. But first, your brother will need to pull his head out of his arse.”
He tossed his head back and released a hearty laugh that drew a handful of snorts and neighs of disapproval from the horses in their stalls. “I vow you’re unlike any female I’ve met.”
’Twas not the first time someone ascribed the words to her. Coyness never suited her and more than likely never would. Especially around her boisterous, outspoken kin. Alas for her, many men frowned upon such boldness in a female. ’Twas no wonder she’d remained unwed.
Rather than discuss the subject further, she gained her legs and swiped away stray bits of straw before extending her hand to Connor. “Come along. I’m eager to warm my bones by the fire and for you to try the fare Glinda prepared this eve.”
Accepting her offering, he rose to his feet. “After those sweet cakes, so am I.”
She thought of her earlier conversation with Kate and Niall. “Why does Aaron never dine in the hall?”
Brushing off the hay, he shrugged a shoulder. “He prefers to keep his distance from the clan is the best I can figure. Niall usually takes a tray to his solar after most of the clan has eaten their fill.”
Somehow, ’twas not surprising at all. “I have a favor to ask.”
“Anything,” he answered without a slight bit of hesitation.
“Please, inform Niall that I shall deliver Aaron’s tray this eve.”
Connor’s mouth hung open a long moment before snapping shut. “Are you certain you wish to attempt such a feat?”
Either way, she was willing to hazard a try. Her conscience would not permit her to sit idly by and allow Aaron’s insecurities to fester into a deeper misery than the man had already allowed. Despite his cold reception, she believed there was still a good man inside him. There had to be.
Shrugging, she lifted her chin. “Someone has to.”
A slow smile eased the lines of worry from Connor’s young face. “You have a good heart, Mairi. I sincerely hope you never lose your goodness.”
Touched by his kind words, she gave in to the urge and threw her arms around him, dragging him into a firm embrace. ’Twas odd, but she felt such a sisterly affection for the young man.
With an awkward pat on her back, he pulled away. “All right, ’tis enough of that.” He smirked. “Last thing I need’s for Aaron to see us. He’d geld me for sure then.”
Chapter Eleven
A SHRILL SHRIEK snatched Aaron from his listless slumber. He bolted upright in his seat and focused on Mairi, who skittered across the solar while attempting to maintain her hold of a laden wooden tray. At her feet, Ash darted back and forth through her skirts, playing with the hem.
“Rat!” she warned, piercing his ears.
She lifted her leg to kick at what she thought was naught but vermin.
“Nay,” he shouted. Springing from his chair toward her, he scooped Ash in his arms, cuddling his furry companion close to his chest. “’Tis a cat.”
Eyes widening in surprise, she gape
d at the animal cradled in his arms. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought…”
“’Twas an honest mistake.” With the remaining vestiges of sleep clouding his mind, he struggled to grasp why Mairi MacGregor, as bold as day, stood in his solar. “What are you doing in here?”
Meowing her annoyance, Ash wriggled and squirmed in his arms, impatient for release to inspect the new addition in the chamber.
For long moments, she observed the fidgeting cat before meeting his gaze. She lifted the salver in her hands. “I did not see you in the hall, so I thought you might wish a bite to eat.”
Mayhap, because he never dined in the hall. She must’ve realized that by now. Suspicious, he narrowed his eyes on the woman. “Why?”
Niall usually delivered food to the solar each eve, or Aaron found his own in the kitchens after Glinda and most of the maids retired. Why had Mairi gone to the trouble?
Ash howled in displeasure and dug her claws into his arm, drawing a wince from him. Exasperated, Aaron set the beast on the floor with a shove toward Mairi. “Fine. Go. See for yourself.”
Anxious to investigate, the cat wasted no time sauntering ahead to Mairi. Raising the tray higher, she peered at the small, plump animal winding its way around her legs. With the tray precariously close to tipping over, Aaron strode the handful of steps to reach her and relieved the woman of her burden.
Her blue gaze found his and he nearly groaned at the comely flush of her cheeks. Saints, where was the angry frustration he’d clung to each time he’d laid eyes on the woman? To his chagrin, she’d wholly caught him off guard, as was the lass’ habit. Though, he’d never anticipated her daring enough to invade his personal space.
Clearing his throat, he strove for a harsh tone. “I asked why.”
Undeterred, she smiled sweetly and lifted one dainty shoulder with a shrug. “I merely wished for you to try the fare Glinda cooked this eve.”
For some unknown reason or, mayhap, ’twas because he’d exhausted himself working since dawn, the well-meaning fight to maintain a healthy distance from her waned. The savory scents of roasted meat and spices drifted up his nose, eliciting a rumbling growl from his empty stomach. In truth, he was as starved as he was drained.
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