“What the hell?”
“If you’re done molesting my sister, we’re ready to serve drinks in the parlor,” Braden said, glaring at Griffin. “Keep your hands where I can see them when you’re getting out.”
“Did I mention how much I love spending time with your brothers?” Griffin asked.
“They’re nothing if not entertaining,” I agreed.
BY THE time Griffin and I joined everyone else in the main parlor, I managed to calm myself enough to fake mindless conversation with my family … and by that I mean joining in with the endless sniping.
“I would not look like Fonzie if I wore a leather jacket while riding this motorcycle,” Redmond argued, tightly gripping his glass of whiskey as Jerry dubiously studied the motorcycle catalog.
“I don’t understand why that’s an insult,” Jerry sniffed. “Fonzie was the coolest guy at the diner. He jumped a shark.”
“Oh, sit on it,” Redmond muttered, shifting his attention to me. “Tell Jerry I don’t look like Fonzie.”
I smirked. “You do kind of look like Fonzie, now that you mention it,” I said, accepting the glass Aidan pressed into my hand without even glancing at it. I downed the drink in one gulp and handed it back for a refill, the aged whiskey burning my throat and causing my eyes to water. Once both of my hands were free, I shot Redmond an enthusiastic double thumbs-up. “Ayyy!”
“Do you plan to get drunk?” Aidan asked, glancing at my empty glass. “You didn’t even taste that.”
“It tasted fine,” I replied, briefly meeting Griffin’s gaze before turning my attention to the lone female in the room. “Hey, Maya.”
In addition to being a nurse and Griffin’s sister, Maya Taylor was Cillian’s newest love interest. I hesitate to call her his girlfriend because, well, my brothers don’t manage to maintain interest in love matches very long. I was worried Cillian’s eye would soon wander – and then I would have another problem when Griffin stood up for his sister’s honor.
“Hi, Aisling,” Maya said, beaming widely. “Congratulations on your promotion.”
“It’s not really a promotion,” I automatically corrected. “All it really means is that Aidan doesn’t have to babysit me any longer.”
“Which is good for both of us,” Aidan interjected, handing me another drink and watching to see whether I slammed it like the first. “Spending so much time together was starting to wear on our relationship.”
“You’re telling me,” Jerry said, sitting on the couch next to Maya. “They were starting to compete for stories to tell me. I love them both dearly, but there’s only so many times I can hear about the eighty-year-old lady spy and the guy next door who can apparently bone for hours on end.”
Griffin furrowed his brow. “Bone?”
“You know, bone,” Jerry said, pointing toward his crotch and gyrating in case Griffin was especially slow this evening.
“I know what it means,” Griffin said. “I just haven’t heard anyone use the term since middle school.”
Jerry ignored him. “Apparently this gentleman should be giving us all lessons,” he said, smiling at Maya before leaning closer. “I don’t need lessons, but perhaps some of the straight men here do.”
Maya giggled. “Perhaps.”
Cillian frowned. “Is that supposed to be pointed at me?”
“It had better not be,” Griffin growled. He still wasn’t thrilled that his sister was dating one of my brothers. I didn’t blame him. The good news is that Cillian is the most responsible of the bunch. Of course, that isn’t saying much.
“How do you guys know how long he was … boning?” Redmond asked.
“We watched through the binoculars,” Aidan replied.
“You spied on a guy having sex?” Braden crinkled his forehead. “Wait, you spied with your sister on a guy having sex? That has to be against the law.”
“We didn’t spy together,” Aidan corrected. “I spied first and then she spied. Don’t turn it into something gross.”
Griffin cast me a sidelong look. “You spied on some guy having sex?”
Hmm. How was I going to make this sound good? “Well … .”
“She said she couldn’t believe anyone could go that long,” Jerry said. “She thinks Viagra had to be involved.”
“Somehow I feel I’m being insulted here,” Griffin muttered.
“Oh, don’t worry. You can go and prove your stamina out in your vehicle between courses,” Braden suggested. “You can finish what you started before I interrupted you a few minutes ago.”
“That’s not what we were doing,” Griffin argued. “We were … talking.”
“That’s not what talking looks like in my world.”
“Somebody get Braden a drink so he has something to do with his mouth besides annoy me,” I ordered.
“I’m on it,” Aidan said. “Just for the record, Aisling didn’t want to look. I, however, couldn’t stop looking. That guy was really … wow.”
“Wait, now I think I’m being insulted,” Jerry said. “I’ll have you know that I have the stamina of a bull.”
“And the outfit of a bullfighter so he can play both parts when he and Aidan role play,” I said, earning snickers from Redmond, Cillian and Braden.
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you and Officer Handcuffs,” Jerry shot back, his voice climbing an octave. “Don’t think we didn’t know what you two were up to last night.”
My cheeks burned as horrified violet eyes from every corner of the room turned in my direction.
“Who was up to what last night?” Dad asked, picking that moment to join the party.
Uh-oh, this wouldn’t end well. “Nothing,” I said hurriedly, getting to my feet. “I think I need to go to the bathroom.”
“What’s going on?” Dad asked, his eyes weary as he glanced around the room. “I probably don’t want to know, do I?”
“It’s nothing,” Redmond said.
“If it’s nothing, then tell me,” Dad prodded.
“My bladder is about to explode,” I said, handing my drink to Griffin.
“It’s really nothing,” Redmond repeated.
“Then tell me,” Dad growled.
“Aisling and Aidan spied on a neighbor of the soul they collected yesterday while he had sex,” Redmond supplied. “Apparently the guy could win the Olympic gold in sex. That freaked Braden out, which somehow made Jerry start talking about bullfighters, which made Aisling remind everyone he has a matador outfit, which made Jerry announce that Aisling and Griffin played some sort of dirty cop sex game last night. I think that pretty much catches you up.”
“Someone hand me a drink,” Dad snapped, his eyes burning as they landed on Griffin. “I blame you for this.”
“Whatever,” Griffin said, draining his own glass of whiskey before handing it over to Aidan. “Fill me up.”
“Hey, that’s what Aisling said last night,” Jerry pointed out. “Along with, ‘Oh, officer, you’re so big and strong,’ and ‘Isn’t there something else I could do to get out of this ticket, Detective Delicious?’”
Maya covered her mouth to hide her laugh while Redmond, Cillian and Braden shot triplicate looks of disgust in Griffin’s direction.
“Shut up, Jerry,” Dad warned.
“I really have to go to the bathroom,” I repeated, the uncomfortable conversation and the task in front of me combining to make me a nervous wreck.
“No one is keeping you here,” Dad said. “Go to the bathroom. Good grief!”
I glanced at Griffin once more, something unsaid passing between us before I bolted from the room. It was now or never. Everyone living under this roof was accounted for. If I wanted to get the list, there would never be a better time. Everyone was distracted. I could sneak into my father’s private office, rifle through his things and steal a document without anyone the wiser.
Guilt is a strange thing, I mused as I headed toward the south end of the house. When, as a teenager, I lied to my father about my whereabouts, I ne
ver felt a shred of guilt. When I lifted his credit card in high school to order a pair of boots I’d been drooling over, I didn’t understand why he was angry and threatened me with a never-ending grounding. Now, though? The guilt was so oppressive I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.
By the time I reached my father’s office my hands shook. I gripped the door handle and turned it, inhaling deeply as I struggled to push it open. No matter what Griffin said, I knew this was a betrayal. I just didn’t know what else to do.
I jumped when a warm body moved in behind me. Griffin, his familiar aftershave identifying him before I could glance over my shoulder, dropped a kiss on the back of my head.
“Come on, Aisling,” he said, keeping his voice low. “I’ll help you.”
“How did you know I needed you?”
“I … felt it,” Griffin said. “Come on.” He pushed me into the office, checking the hallway to make sure no one was around to witness our treason before shutting the door. “Hurry up. Where would the list be?”
I collected myself and strode toward Dad’s desk. “Listen at the door in case someone comes.”
“What are we going to tell anyone who catches us in here?”
“That we … wanted to get away and make out,” I suggested, opening the bottom drawer to rummage through Dad’s personal files.
“Oh, well, that should go over well,” Griffin deadpanned, resting his head against the large mahogany door. “Braden already thinks I’m a pervert.”
“Braden is an idiot,” I muttered, flipping through the top file. “I think we lucked out. This is it right here.”
“Make a copy,” Griffin instructed. “That way you’re not technically stealing and you can let go of some of this guilt you’re wallowing in.”
“Good idea,” I said, slipping the sheet of paper into the top of the copier. “Do you hear anyone out there?”
“No.” Griffin watched as the copier warmed up. “Can I ask you something?”
“I think you’ve earned it.”
“Why do you and Braden have the worst relationship of all your siblings?”
I was surprised by the question. “I … um … huh. I guess I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t consider our relationship bad.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Griffin said. “You have a great relationship with him. It’s just … there’s something different about your relationship with him. You are close on different levels with the others.
“Redmond is the older brother, and he’s the one who spoils you,” he continued. “Cillian is the most introverted one. You two talk about books and music. Aidan is your twin and you two talk about everything – and apparently spy on sex fiends together, which we’ll talk about later.
“You have a … thing … with all of them,” he said. “What’s your thing with Braden?”
“Truthfully?”
Griffin nodded.
“I think Braden and I are the most alike,” I admitted, sighing as the copier did its business. I looked over the copy it spit out to make sure it was legible before folding it and shoving it in my pocket. “Every bad thing I don’t like about my own personality is reflected back at me whenever I look at Braden. I think it’s the same for him.”
I knelt back down and placed the file back where I found it, frowning when something caught my attention. The tag on the bottom folder in the drawer was labeled with a single word: Lily. Without realizing it, I grabbed the file and straightened.
“That must be why Braden is the most irritating of your brothers,” Griffin teased, his eyes bright. “I … what is that?”
“It’s a file on my mother.” I couldn’t bring myself to open it, or tear my eyes from it.
“We don’t have time to risk going through that,” Griffin hissed. “In fact … .” He broke off, pressing his ear to the door. “Someone’s coming!”
I didn’t give myself time to think. I shut the drawer and moved around the desk quickly, closing the distance between Griffin and myself before grabbing him around the waist and tackling him onto the nearby couch. I shoved the file behind the cushion near his head and then slammed my mouth into his just as the door opened.
“Oh, for the love of God!” Dad roared. “Are you trying to kill me?”
Eight
“What the hell are you two doing in here?” Dad’s face was so red I was worried he was about to have a heart attack.
“We were just … .” It was time for a grandiose lie. “I was coming back from the bathroom when I ran into Griffin and … well … he was upset about all the talk regarding the sex god Aidan and I spied on. He wanted to prove he could hang with that guy and we somehow ended up in here.”
Griffin’s expression was murderous. “Oh, don’t lie, baby,” he said, working overtime to collect himself. “You were the one begging me to make out in your father’s office because it was a lifelong dream of yours. Don’t be shy.” He pinched my side for good measure.
I rested as much of my weight as I could manage on Griffin’s stomach, causing him to gasp. “Oh, sweetie pie, you don’t have to be ashamed of what we’re doing,” I countered. “Dad understands.”
“Dad does not understand!”
I was used to my father bellowing, although Griffin’s squirming beneath me told me he was anything but comfortable with the situation. “Get off me, Aisling,” he muttered.
I pushed myself to a sitting position, being careful to keep Griffin trapped so he couldn’t move away from the cushion where I hid my mother’s file. “Don’t worry, Dad. We didn’t do anything but kiss.”
“You’re grounded!” Dad was beside himself.
“You can’t ground me,” I scoffed. “I’m an adult.”
“An adult does not sneak into her father’s office to … grope … on an eleven-thousand-dollar Italian leather couch!”
“Stop yelling,” I grumbled, smoothing my hair. “You’re making a scene.”
“I am not making a scene!”
“What’s going on in here?” Braden asked, appearing in the doorway next to Dad. Of course he would be the one to come check things out. “Again? Are you two animals?”
Dad’s shoulders stiffened. “What do you mean again? What are they doing again?”
“I found them pawing each other in the driveway twenty minutes ago,” Braden complained. “I think I’m scarred for life.”
“This could be the worst dinner ever,” Griffin hissed, my weight on his midriff forcing him to remain on the couch even though he was obviously desperate to get up.
“Oh, it’s going to be the worst dinner ever,” Dad agreed. “I know how to hide a body. Braden, go and get my gun!”
Braden rolled his eyes. “They’re animals. That doesn’t mean you can shoot them.”
“Don’t tell me what I can do in my own house!”
“Why is Dad screaming?” Redmond asked, his gaze falling on us as he stepped into the office. “Seriously? Where is the gun?”
“Aisling,” Griffin grappled with my waist, finally getting a firm enough grip to lift me off him and shove me into the spot he previously occupied. He climbed to his feet slowly, his cheeks red. “I’m sorry about this. Aisling … distracted me. This should never have happened.”
“You’re blaming this on Aisling?” Dad asked. “She’s a girl.”
What was that supposed to mean? “So what?” I prodded.
“So … you’re a girl,” Dad repeated. “We all know how deviant men can be when they’re around a pretty girl. This one … this man you insist on bringing around … clearly has fast hands.”
“He has a fast tongue, too,” I shot back.
“I don’t think you’re helping, Aisling,” Griffin seethed.
“I’m the one who dragged him in here, Dad,” I said, deciding to save Griffin from possible murder and potential dismemberment. “I’m the one with the fast hands. They have a mind of their own.”
“You’re just making excuses for him.”
“Oh, no,�
�� I said, finally starting to enjoy myself after days of misery. “I sneaked up behind him and pinched his butt in the hallway. I gave it a really hard squeeze.” I lifted my hand and mimed the action in question.
“Aisling,” Griffin warned.
“Then I pressed him against the wall and rubbed myself all over him while we kissed,” I said. “Then I whispered a few choice suggestions in his ear before tricking him into your office. It was all me.”
“You’re definitely grounded,” Dad spat.
“Oh, this is where everyone is,” Jerry said, joining the party. “What did I miss?”
“Jerry, I love you like you’re my own son,” Dad said, choosing his words carefully. “There’s no way you can help this situation, though. You’ll only make it worse.”
“I’m up for that.” Jerry’s cheerful gaze bounced from face to face. “Why is your hair such a mess, Bug?”
“Because Griffin and I were making out on the couch when Dad caught us,” I replied, not missing a beat. “We were about to round to second base and he’s having some sort of weird meltdown because he doesn’t believe that girls can coerce guys into doing sex stuff.”
“Oh, that’s not true,” Jerry said. He used the same voice he broke out whenever he pretended to be Dumbledore during Harry Potter reenactments. He was convinced he would’ve made a great wizard – as long as he didn’t have to wear tacky robes and could whip his wand out whenever the mood struck. Yes, the double entendre was on purpose. “Women are more manipulative when it comes to sex.”
“How could you possibly know that?” Braden asked.
“I watch The View at least three times a week.”
I swallowed the mad urge to laugh. This was not the time to cater to Jerry’s conversational whims. Or … wait … was it? “And what do the women on The View say, Jerry?”
“No one cares,” Dad snapped.
“Well, even though that cast is rotating faster than a Kardashian in front of a phone camera, whenever the subject of sex comes up all of the women agree that females are just as aggressive as males,” Jerry replied, ignoring Dad’s outburst. “Men have no control when a woman goes after them. It’s a biological fact. Given that Aisling was raised with so many alpha males, it’s no wonder that she’s sexually aggressive.”
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