by Naomi West
“Katrin,” he croaked, scrambling over to her. “Katrin, are you…?”
She was breathing. Thank fuck for that, she was breathing. Her head shifted slightly to the side, and she murmured something.
“You’re alive.” His voice shook with emotion. “Can you answer me, darlin’? Please?”
She murmured again, but didn’t say anything he could understand. Her lips were cracked and dry from the sun. A canteen of water lay nearby. He looked at the blood on her jeans, trying to determine the source. He didn’t want to move her in case she had a back injury, but he needed to figure out what was wrong.
“Jax?” Her eyes fluttered open.
“Katrin, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay; you’re gonna be okay.”
“Jax, I … I’m so sorry…”
“Shh. It’s all right. Just relax.” He glanced to the side and saw her phone lying a few feet away.
She followed his gaze, her eyes narrow, forehead furrowed in pain. “I was trying to get service. I wanted to call for help. I slipped.”
“You were gonna call…?” he started, confused. “Who were you gonna call, babe?”
Her mouth worked, and she tried to swallow, eyes fluttering again. “I don’t know. Maybe my … my friend. In Ohio. Thought someone should know where we were. Thought maybe she’d know what to d—” she coughed, sucking in a harsh breath at the end. “I couldn’t just sit here and do nothing.”
“It’s okay,” he said again.Why, Katrin? I would have come back for you. I wouldn’t have let anything bad happen to you. Couldn’t you just wait?“How badly are you hurt?”
She raised her head slightly, looking down at her stained jeans.
“Careful,” Pistol cradled her head, supporting her.
“I’m…” She looked up at him, eyes wide and desperate. As Pistol watched, those eyes filled with tears. “I have to tell you something.”
Pistol’s chest clenched. “What is it?”
“I’m pregnant.”
A fist slammed Pistol’s gut.
She continued, “I don’t know if — if the fall—”
Pistol went cold with fear. She waspregnant? He searched for some explanation, his brain moving crazily through questions he already knew the answers to. Was the baby definitely his? When had this happened? And how? They’d been safe. Until last night. Sweet Jesus, this couldn’t have been from last night, right? She’d have no way of knowing. No, this was something she’d known for some time. But why hadn’t shetold him? He thought back to the past couple of days — that look in her eyes, like she longed to confide something to him, but he’d pushed her aside.
But why not last night?
Why…?
He couldn’t wrap his mind around this. He might have been a father. Would still be, as long as she hadn’t miscarried. He’d never imagined himself as a father, never thought it was even a possibility. When Leonard Smith had told him that part of the plan, he’d dismissed it as sheer madness. And yet some part of himhadthought about it, on nights when he couldn’t sleep. Evenings on the porch of the clubhouse, whisky bottle beside him, he’d tried to picture himself with a kid, and the fuzzy image in his mind had eventually taken on some clarity.
I’m not responsible enough for a kid, he’d thought.I’d be a shit parent, just like my mom.
And yet some part of him had hoped that wasn’t true.
Now staring down at Katrin, he knew those were just excuses he’d made because he was scared. Katrin’s news filled him with anxiety, sure. But also withjoy. And a sense that, if she had miscarried, he’d be devastated. He’d do anything to protect this woman, and now that he knew about the baby, he felt ten times that fierce protectiveness.
I’d move heaven and earth for them, he realized.To make the world safe for them, I’d do absolutely anything.
The ferocious surge overtook him, and he had to will himself calmer before he stroked Katrin’s hair back from her sweaty brow. “Oh Kat. God, I had no idea…”
“I wanted to tell you.” She cracked her eyes open, reaching out to touch his face. “But I didn’t know if you’d be happy.”
He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what to say, how to help her understand how much he needed her. How much he loved this kid already.
“I am happy. So fucking happy.” He smiled at her. “Kat, I … I love you.”
The truth of the words hit him at the same time as a wave of nerves. Whoever thought he’d be saying those words to a woman? Whoever would have thought he’d mean them so much? But he did. He’d known that first night, and then watching her stay strong through her father’s tyranny, through the impossibility of their situation, he’d slowly realized that denying it wouldn’t make it any less true.
She smiled back up at him, tears still glistening in her eyes. “I love you too.”
He let out a half laugh, half sob. “This is so crazy. I don’t even know what to say.” His smile faded. “But the baby … how will we know if…?”
She glanced down at herself. “It’s not a lot of blood. It looks like a lot, but it’s mostly stopped. I can’t be sure, but I think it might be fine. I’m not feeling any cramps. That’s a good sign.”
“We need to get you out of here. To a hospital.”
She gazed at him steadily, her eyes taking on a focus that hadn’t been there before. “That’s not safe as long as my father’s still out there, Jax.” She sat up, leaning back against a rock. I don’t want to be trapped somewhere he could find me.”
“But why would he think to look for you in a hospital?”
She eyed him. “You’ve said it yourself — we don’t know how far his reach extends. He might have plants in hospitals. Might be friendly with corrupt agents in the police force, in the government. I thought for a while, as I was climbing up here — I thought maybe we could go to the police. Go to some outside agency. But now I get it. It’s just us, isn’t it? No allies except your club. And they’re…” She clearly didn’t want to say it.
He nodded. “It’s true. We’re not safe anywhere while he’s still out there.”
She nodded. “There’s nothing a hospital could do for me anyway. If I miscarried, I miscarried.” The slight quaver in her voice was the only indication of how scared she was. “If I didn’t, I didn’t.” She let out a long breath, swiping at her eyes. “What’d you find out in town?”
He sat back on his heels. “Your father has taken the remaining Souls prisoner.” She flinched. He continued, “I saw his men lead them from the clubhouse into an unmarked van. They were going to your father’s house.”
She nodded grimly. “We don’t have much time then.”
“I overheard one of them say the ‘party’ starts in an hour.”
“Then let’s be the first guests.” She started to rise.
“Katrin, listen.” He took her hand. “My first responsibility is to you and the baby. My brothers … they all knew there were risks when they signed on to be part of the Blackened Souls. They’d understand.”
She frowned slightly. “Understand what?”
He gazed into her eyes. “Say the word, and I’ll take you away from here. We’ll ride off together, go somewhere far, far from all of this. And I promise you, I will make sure we’re safe. To make sure he can never find us.”
Her frown deepened. Those hazel eyes held both compassion and determination. “No, Jax.”
He raised his brows. “What?”
“I thought at first we should leave too. That’s why I climbed that hill, to help us plan an escape. Like I said, I thought about the police. I thought about my friend from Ohio. But what he’s done, Pistol. Taking your brothers hostage. Terrorizing us. He won’t stop! Even if we disappear, he won’t stop. And I’m tired of running. I’m tired of living in fear of my father. He has your brothers, and he means to kill them. You need to do whatever you have to in order to free them.”
He hesitated. Part of him thought she was right. But the baby … the baby was more impo
rtant than anything else.
“Katrin, it’s not that I want to abandon my brothers to die. But there is nothing—do you hear me—nothing, more important to me than this kid.”
“Then make our lives safe for our baby,” she said firmly. “Your brothers matter to me, Jax.” Her gaze softened. “They gave meyou. They made you all the best things you are.” Her voice softened. “I want to help them. And I want to stop my father once and for all. Even if it means…” She clearly couldn’t finish.
“All right,” he whispered, a renewed sense of determination growing within him. He could do this. Put an end to Leonard Smith’s reign, free his brothers, and then settle down with his wife and child. It wouldn’t be easy, but he’d been in tough scrapes before.
Just, maybe not this tough.
“I’ll be right there with you,” she assured him. “Helping any way I can.”
“No,” he said immediately. The thought was too terrifying for words. “I can’t let you help. It’s too dangerous.”
“Christ, Jax. Riding that bike was dangerous. Holing up in a cave in the middle of the desert was dangerous. I think that ship has sailed.”
He shook his head. “But this is something else entirely. I’ll take you into town and we’ll check into a motel. Fake names. I’ll leave you there, where you’ll be safe.”
“Jax—”
“Kat, please?” He wasn’t sure how to convey to her how important this was to him. “Please, sweetheart. I know nothing is completely safe right now, but I need you as safe as possible. I can’t risk losing you or the baby. I just can’t.”
Not after everything else I’ve lost.
She seemed to hear the unspoken plea.
She gazed at him evenly for a long while. Then she sighed resignedly. “All right.” She started to get to her feet. “Let’s go, then.”
He checked his phone. “Your father’s goons said the party would start in an hour. That was thirty minutes ago.” He helped her up. “It might be too late by the time we get there.”
She shrugged. “Then let me come along.”
“No,” he said again. “I can’t let you do that. I’m sorry.”
He thought he’d never forget the mingled pain and resentment in her expression, as long as he lived. He wished he could tell her it was okay. That she could come with him. Help on his mission. But she was pregnant. She’d just had a fall. She might have miscarried. He had to make sure she was as safe as possible.
“Well,” she muttered, starting down the hill, holding her shoulders rigid — a
posture he’d learned meant she was frustrated but trying to make the best of things. “You probably won’t be too late.” She threw a glance back over her shoulder. “I get the sense my father likes to play with his food before he eats.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The ride back to Rialto hurt, but Katrin wasn’t about to complain as she clung to Pistol’s waist and tried not to wince at each bump in the road. The only ill effects from the fall were some aches and scrapes. The bloodstain on her pants was worrying, but she knew, with growing confidence, that the baby was all right. She could feel her mother’s presence with her now, stronger than it had ever been. And she knew that this was the way things were meant to be. Jess had passed from this world, but her legacy lived on in Katrin, and would live on too in Katrin’s child. God wouldn’t take this baby away from her. Not when she had already lost so much. She could feel her mother all around her, protecting her and the baby — and Pistol — from harm.
They found a small motel on the outskirts of town and gave a false name. The clerk looked too bored to give them much scrutiny, but Katrin was still anxious to get into the room.
“That’ll be fifty-six fifty-three, the clerk said.”
And that was when Katrin remembered they had no money.
“Listen,” Pistol said. “My wife’s not feeling well. She just had a fall. We just need a place for her to rest until I can bring someone back to help her.
The clerk finally glanced up from his iPhone. Looked Katrin up and down. “Shit. What happened to you? You okay? Want me to call, like, the hospital or something?”
“No,” Katrin and Pistol said together.
“Um…” Katrin put on her most charming smile, trying not to think about what she must look like to this guy. “I can’t. No insurance. But we have a friend who’s a doctor. If I could just rest in a room here, my husband will come back with our friend, and with some money. I promise.”
The clerk looked at them both suspiciously. “Uh, I’m not allowed to rent rooms unless you pay.”
“Is there a way you could comp our stay? Just for now?” Pistol asked.
“Uh … what?”
Pistol sighed. “I promise I’ll come back with the money. But please, for the love of God, just give my wife somewhere to lie down.”
So much for not attracting attention, Katrin thought.
But eventually, the clerk agreed, though he still seemed troubled by the whole situation. He gave them a key to a corner room that — thankfully — had a good view of the motel entrance and parking lot.
The small room was too cold — the AC was blasting. It looked like it hadn’t been more than cursorily cleaned in sometime. The bedspread was rumpled, and the TV remote’s buttons looked like they’d been nibbled by mice.
“Your luxury resort, ma’am,” Pistol joked, making a sweeping gesture with his arm.
“Wow, very nice,” Katrin said.
“You’ll be all right?” Pistol asked as Katrin sat on the edge of the bed. “You’ll call me if there’s trouble.”
She nodded. “Don’t worry about me. Go rescue your brothers.”
“All right.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. “Keep an eye out.”
She nodded, her eyes widening slightly. “That clerk. He’ll remember us.”
“I don’t think he’s in Smith’s pocket. I think he just wants to get back to Candy Crush. But be aware all the same.”
“Okay.”
Then they kissed again, more passionately. Katrin put all the love she felt for him into that last kiss. And she could hear her mother’s voice: I’lllook after him too. Don’t you worry. I’m here for both of you.
I know, Mom, she said silently.I know.
When they parted, he looked deep into her eyes. “I will come back.” He looked as if he needed her to understand this. As if he needed her permission, approval.
“I know,” she said again, a little lightheaded.
Pistol left then, and Katrin felt a coldness in her gut. Even her mother’s warmth couldn’t quite fend off the restlessness she felt, the sense that she ought to be helping. That taking down her father was her destiny too, not just Jax’s.
Come back soon. Please. Please, Jax. Come home.
###
Pistol roared down the residential streets toward the clubhouse. By this time, Diaz ought to have gotten his ass the fuck out of the Blackened Souls’ HQ, and Pistol would be able to swing by and pick up some weapons on his way to Leonard’s house. Katrin was right —Leonard did like to toy with people. And it would have taken some time for the van to get to Smith’s house. But Pistol had used up quite a bit of time tending to Katrin in the desert, and then getting her checked into the motel. He had no idea if the remaining Blackened Souls would still be alive.
But he had a funny feeling that Leonard Smith had planned to use his brothers to bait him. Rather than turn the whole town and surrounding desert upside down looking for Pistol and Katrin, he’d wait until Pistol came looking for him.
Which was why Pistol had to be especially careful returning to the clubhouse. As much as he wanted to roar right up the driveway, he parked a couple of blocks away again, and slunk onto the property.
It looked completely deserted. Diaz’s vehicle was gone. Pistol let himself in the side door, pausing to grab a knife from the kitchen. Then he made a quick search of the house.
No one on the first floor. He opened the basement
door quietly and listened. Didn’t hear anything but the furnace. He made his way down the steps, pausing every few seconds, wondering if he’d suddenly come face to face with Diaz, or another goon. Nothing happened.
He headed for the loose floorboards at the far side of the basement and pried them up.
Bingo. The goons had missed this stash. Pistol helped himself to a semi-automatic and tucked a Colt revolver into his waistband for good measure. He grabbed a couple of grenades too, for good measure. Go big or go home, right?
