by Lilly Purdon
It was all my fault.
I blamed myself.
It was because I had never told him how I felt for him, that's why he ended up falling for someone else. It was because I was too shy, too quiet, and too afraid of getting rejected so I didn't tell him.
Not telling him made it worse, it made him fall for someone else.
I blamed myself for him liking someone else. If I told him in the first place, he might've even looked my way. If I even dared enough to spoke to him, maybe he wouldn’t have met whoever he had his eyes on. But of course, I was just the random school nerd to him, why would he care about me anyway?
I wasn't as pretty as other girls, I wasn't as outgoing- I was shy, I was awkward, inexperienced, and the list went on and on. That was why he didn't even look my way. It was because I was nothing compared to all the other girls.
I forced a smile onto my face. It hurt me even looking at him, “now can I have my clothes back?”
He smirked before holding out the clothes for me. When I was about to grab them, he dropped them to the floor.
“Oops,” his smirk stayed plastered on his face.
Asshole.
That’s what he was after all.
Axel Storm Spencer.
The guy’s whose initials spelt ‘ass’.
“Aren't you going to pick them up?” he asked, with an innocent sweet smile on his face.
I glared at him, but it was just so hard! He looked like an adorable puppy, wanting to play around. But I was in no mood to play.
“Pick. It. Up,” I growled.
He put his hands up in surrender before picking the clothes up for me. I quickly snatched the clothes out of his hands before he had the chance to do anything to it and rushed over to the bathroom.
I slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, before pressing my back against it, breathing heavily. I put a hand on my heart to try to slow it down. It was pounding so hard against my chest, I felt as if it were about to fly out of my chest.
I couldn't keep crushing on him like this anymore.
I just couldn’t.
It wasn’t even a crush anymore.
I had fallen.
For someone who liked someone else. Just mentioning her made him grin- she must’ve made him so happy. I wanted to be her. I wanted to have him wrapped around my finger. I had no idea who she was, but I was going to find out.
But who could it have been… if it wasn’t me. He kissed me. He took care of me. He risked himself for me. He opened up to me.
He’s a bad boy- he’d do it with any girl if he had the chance.
But he didn’t-
I removed the thought from my head.
It could never be me. I was beyond imperfect- why would he even consider going for someone like me.
I wanted him to crush on me the way I crushed on him.
But once again, it was just a dream that could never come true.
The more we talked, the more I got to know him, the more I fell.
Everything about him was just intoxicating. His smirk, his amazing green eyes, his lips, his expressions, his switch of emotions in seconds, his vulnerability, his teasing manner, his protectiveness, the fact he defended me multiple times in one day, how selfless he was- hell, he got himself beat up for me. Multiple fights in one day… just for a girl… like me.
Everything- everything- everything about him was perfect.
He was perfect.
At least to me he was.
I shook the thoughts out of my head. If he had feelings for someone else, I needed to stop my feelings for him. The more I fell for him, the more it was going to hurt. I needed to stop daydreaming about it. Stop it all. I couldn't afford having a crush on him after someone else was with him. I shook my head. I had to get over him real quick before I ended up doing something stupid.
“You have to get over him Rosaline. You have to get over him.” I whispered to myself.
You know you can’t.
~*~
Chapter 27 SKIPPING SCHOOL [PART 3]
“Are you done in there yet?” Axel banged on the bathroom door.
I quickly slipped on the clothes given to me.
“Almost!”
I quickly opened the bathroom door, coming face to face with my heartbreaker.
“Took you long enough, Flower,” he walked over to Dustin's bed and sat down.
I raised my eyebrows at him, “Flower?”
“Your new nickname. Rosaline’s too long to say, and I heard other people calling you Rosie. I wanted something more,” he paused, “personal.”
I had no idea in what way he meant by ‘personal’. “Out of every name, why choose Flower?”
He shrugged, “Rose is short for Rosaline, right?”
I prayed he wouldn’t be able to make the connection, and nodded.
“But you see, no one calls you Rose, and some of us may or may not already know someone named Rose. Do you?”
Was he toying with me?
“So since a Rose is a flower, I'm calling you Flower. Plus, you really remind me of a flower, I don't even know why, but now you’re my little flower,” he finished.
His little flower?
His.
He claimed me as his…
I stood there, slightly confused. Did he mean it in that way?
Suddenly, his eyes widened. I guess he finally realized what he said. “Oh no! Not like that! I mean, you’re like a little flower, that’s how I came up with the nickname- I didn’t mean to imply I own you or anything- I was just tryna’ say the nickname is mine- fuck- mine as in ownership of the nickname, not you. Oh god, this is getting confusing. What I mean is-” he took a moment to think, “how the hell do I explain myself now?”
He was beyond cute flustered. He looked like a frustrated puppy trying to figure out something. He was so innocent- a word that no one else would use to describe him. “It's okay,” I laughed. “I get it.”
“You do?” he was surprised.
I nodded in reply.
I couldn't stop the smile that tugged at my lips. Just seeing him frustrated was freaking adorable. My heart fluttered while watching the confused expression on his face as he stared at me.
“Why are you smiling?” he asked, staring at me with wide eyes.
A small giggle escaped my lips before I could contain it.
“What's so funny?” He started fidgeting, almost as if he was insecure.
I couldn't stop myself from laughing at his question. He was just so cute in every way. He could be sexy, cute, hot, amazing, adorable and handsome at the same time.
“Flower,” he said my name, but I still couldn’t stop laughing. “Answer my question.
Turns out the school's bad boy looked like a lost puppy when he's frustrated.
“It’s nothing!” I tried containing my laughter.
“You’re lying,” he stated.
“What are you, a psychic?”
“Possibly.”
“You’re definitely not,” I said with a small smile playing at my lips.
“What are you hiding from me in that little head of yours?”
I smirked at him, “a lot of shit.”
“I can see,” he attempted to sound posh, but failed miserably.
I laughed, “You have no idea what you do to me, bad boy.” There was a tremendous amount of truth in my ‘joke’.
I was glad he didn't take it seriously; he only took it as a joke. He grabbed my hand by surprise and placed a soft gentle kiss on the back of my hand. My whole body froze as I felt a tingly sensation on the back of my hand. It was like… that cured my banging headache. He distracted me from the pain I was feeling.
Shivers ran down my back and I started getting goose bumps on every inch of my body. My heart pounded against my ribcage violently. He held eye contact as he kissed my hand. It was something out of a fairytale. I was stuck in the moment. Everything seemed to move so slowly, and I felt like we were the only people in the world.
A
ll that mattered to me was him. It was a moment that meant so much to me, even though he was just playing around.
It showed that he wasn't disgusted of me. He didn't think I had germs on the back of my hand, and clearly didn't think I wiped snot on my hands. But then, like every other great moment it had to end. He pulled away smirking at me.
“What's taking you two so long-” Justin stopped at his tracks when he saw us both and the odd position we were in.
Axel had his mouth inches from my hand and he was bowed down so he could reach my small hand. He was staring at me through his lashes with a smirk on his face while I was blushing like crazy. Justin backed away from the door slowly.
“Am I interrupting something again?” he asked nervously.
“N-no not at all,” I answered.
“I always knew you had a thing for each other.” He looked at us in awe.
If my face could get any hotter, it did. My face was on flames as I looked away from both of them. Axel looked a little red too himself, I assumed it was because he was pissed off.
I don’t know how Axel managed to keep his cool, “we don’t.” He sounded as cold as stone.
Ouch.
What was I expecting? Him to admit he liked me too?
Unlike Axel, I couldn't deny Justin though. I couldn't deny what was true.
Axel glanced at me and our eyes met for a short moment.
“Sure,” Justin said in a disbelieving tone.
Axel sent him a death glare. “What do you want anyway?”
“Just making sure you don’t have sex on his bed,” Justin replied, folding both his arms over his chest.
I couldn't believe how much Justin and Dustin looked alike. They were identical twins and you really couldn't tell which one was which unless you saw their dimples. But if you were with them enough, their personalities were different.
“Come on Flower, let's go,” Axel said grabbing my hand.
Tingles shot up my whole hand and arm from his touch. His skin was incredibly soft and warm. He pulled me along until we were out of the room. With my hand still in his, we went down a flight of stairs until we were in the kitchen.
“Thanks for the call,” Axel gave Dustin a quick handshake.
“No problem, good luck.” Dustin smiled at him.
“I'll need it,” Axel mumbled under his breath, before pulling me out of the kitchen and out the door.
What was that about? Luck? I would imagine that someone like Axel wouldn't need any luck with his strength and good looks.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we walked out the door.
He turned to me with a poker face, “since you're now my new tutor, we should get to know each other a little.”
“So where are you taking me?”
“Anywhere, where do you want to go?” His grass green eyes twinkled mischievously.
I tapped my chin while thinking. Nowhere romantic… I couldn’t fall for him even more. “Anywhere that's not awkward?”
“Sure, I know a place,” he pulled me along.
We stopped in front of a slick black motorcycle. I wasn't very fond of them. And to be honest, I had never ridden one before. I didn't plan on riding one anytime soon. Axel hopped on the motorcycle and put his keys, starting up the engine.
The engine roared to life, making me jump ten feet back. There was no way I was getting anywhere near that beast! Axel motioned for me to get on, but I shook my head refusing his offer.
“Get on,” Axel had to yell over the rumbling of the engine.
“No thank you!”
If I had to get on that thing, I was seriously going to crap my pants.
“Come on Flower, it's not that bad!”
“I'm not getting on that motorcycle!” I yelled over the engine.
He turned the engine off, “it's not a motorcycle.”
If he was thinking of tricking me and telling me that wasn't a motorcycle so I would get on it then he was another level of stupid. Even though he was my one and only love offering me a ride on a motorcycle, I wasn't going to take the offer.
“If it's not a motorcycle, then what is it?”
“She's a Ecosse Titanium Series FE Ti XX, powered by a 2,409cc billet engine with Ecosse's highest ever horsepower figure-”
“Hold it there! She?” I parroted in disbelief.
He smiled down at his bike like it was the most beautiful thing in the whole world. His face was filled with adoration.
“Yes, Elisa.”
“Who's Elisa?” I asked with a pang of jealousy.
“This baby,” he replied, running his fingers along the slick surface of the motorbike.
“You named your motorcycle?!” I asked in disbelief.
This boy was something else.
“She's not a motorcycle; she's Ecosse Titanium-”
“I get it,” I stared at him in disbelief. The guy named his motorcycle… “But I'm still not getting on.”
“Why not?”
“Because, she-” I couldn’t believe I was using a vehicle’s preferred pronoun, “IT looks scary and I don’t know the number of girls that have ridden that thing.” I scrunched up my nose in disgust.
“Actually, you’re the only girl I’ve asked to ride with me on my baby.”
That warmed my heart knowing that I was the only girl he’s invited to ride with him on that motorbike.
I huffed, “still doesn't pursuade me."
“You'll get to hold onto me if you ride with me.”
He must’ve known I had a thing or two for him. Either that, or he was beyond conceited. His offer was great, but my inner self was stubborn, so I decided to decline it. I shook my head at him.
“You get to be real close to me.”
Even though I wanted to scream ‘yes!’ at him, I turned it down. “I don’t care whether or not I get to touch you!” I lied. My voice always came out high when I was lying, and I was confident he saw right through.
“Aw, come on Flower. It’s not scary at all!”
“You have no say in that. You’re not someone who’s never ridden a motorcycle before!”
“You’ll be wearing a helmet! Nothing’s going to happen!” He groaned.
I rolled my eyes. “Something could happen if I fell off!”
“You won’t fall off unless you let go of me.”
“No, I’m still not getting on.”
“Come on, Rosie.”
“I’d rather walk.”
“Flower, you do realize that you will get on.” It sounded like a threat to me.
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.
