He had been so angry. Even while fucking me, he had been filled with a fury that frightened me. And exhilarated me, if I was being honest.
Honest.
Funny, that’s what caused the problems to begin with.
He had busted me in a lie. Only one of many, but it had been enough. His trust was a shaky thing and I had cracked the foundation.
Not even giving him my body had erased the doubt that had been planted in his mind.
I had been afraid.
But not just for the obvious reasons.
When faced with the possibility of his walking out of my life, I had felt frantic. Not because he was my means to an end. Not because Toxicwrath and I had concocted this very important plan that he was a central part of.
But because I didn’t want him to leave.
Because I cared about him.
I fidgeted in the hard kitchen chair, feeling the pulling ache between my legs. I could still feel him there.
The first time we had sex had been intense. His anger had made it raw.
But the times after that had been different.
I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on.
I stared at the string of code on the screen. This seemingly simple series of letters and numbers would allow me to see everything on Mason’s computer. It would give me eyes inside the FBI’s database. A simple root kit that would send me all the information I needed.
I inserted a thumb drive into the USB port and saved the program. I attached the unobtrusive device to a silver bejeweled key chain in the shape of a unicorn. It didn’t exactly scream “notorious hacker,” which was what made it so perfect.
Installing the root kit on Mason’s computer would take only minutes. I had to ensure I was given the opportunity to do what I needed to do. The program would run in the background of Mason’s computer, cataloging every keystroke. Every email. He wouldn’t know it was there. And it would send all of that information to my home computer.
I would be the proverbial fly on the wall.
The memory of Mason’s face above me made my skin heat. I wanted to crawl back into bed. To curl up beside the sleeping man who rested there. Lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.
And enjoy the hours of peace before I deceived him all over again.
“I need this to be safe. You and me.”
I had made him so many promises. I planned to break every single one of them.
And that made me the worst type of person.
I couldn’t go there.
Not now.
Not when I was so close.
I saw the red message icon at the bottom of the screen and clicked on it.
From: [email protected]
Subject: A day at the beach
Date: April 6, 2016 04:21
To: [email protected]
I’m looking for a great beach getaway. Is Key West a good option?
I logged in to IRC and found Key West soon enough.
04:25
04:26
What? Why would Toxicwrath be requesting a chat at four-thirty in the morning to ask about Mason?
04:27
I watched the cursor on the screen but Toxicwrath wasn’t responding. He was still in the chat but didn’t appear to be in a hurry to continue the conversation.
04:32
04:33
My mouth went dry and I felt myself getting angry.
04:34
04:34
I felt a cold chill go down my spine. I couldn’t help but look around the room, feeling suddenly very exposed.
Toxicwrath was guessing, but I felt as though I were being watched.
04:35
04:36
But I did.
04:37
Clearly Toxicwrath needed to be put in his place. He wasn’t the one calling the shots.
Our roles were getting confused. I was the boss. Not him.
04:38
Again I felt disturbed. Too many things had happened in the last twenty-four hours to throw me off balance.
Mason. Kyle. Now this.
04:40
I didn’t like being told what to do. Not by anyone. Definitely not by my anonymous partner.
04:41
I saw new words come up on the screen and I felt ill.
04:42
I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
04:42
04:43
I didn’t type anything right away. It had to be a coincidence.
Or maybe it wasn’t.
04:45
04:45
I wouldn’t be put off. The coincidence was too much. And after everything lately, I had to be sure.
04:46
04:47
I didn’t trust Rose. But I had learned to trust Toxicwrath. Could they be one and the same? Was that why Rose was back in my life? Because she had infiltrated my cyberworld as well?
04:48
I should have asked it from the beginning. Why hadn’t I?
My heart slammed in my chest. I could hear Mason moving around in the bedroom. He had stopped snoring. Was he awake? I should close down my computer. I couldn’t risk him seeing what I was doing.
But I needed Toxicwrath to answer my question.
04:49
Was I backing out?
Maybe I should.
04:50
“Hannah?” Mason’s voice drifted down the hallway.
04:51
“I’ll just be a second,” I called back.
04:52
He was stroking my ego again. Did I trust him?
Did I trust anything anymore?
Lines were starting to blur. I was losing track of my original purpose.
04:53
“What are you doing up?” Mason appeared in the kitchen looking groggy. It was still dark; the only light was the glow of the computer screen.
I quickly shut down my chat window and closed my laptop, getting to my feet.
I crossed the room to him and put my arms around his waist. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“It was my snoring, wasn’t it?” Mason sighed, running a hand over his sleepy face. He was wearing only his boxer shorts. He looked exhausted and sort of adorable.
>
“No, it wasn’t your snoring. Though you do sound a bit like a chain saw,” I teased. Mason kissed my forehead, holding me close.
“It’s cold out here. Come back to bed.” He rubbed his hands up and down my bare arms.
“I hadn’t noticed,” I said, now feeling the chill.
Mason glanced at my computer. “What were you doing?”
I shrugged. “Reading BuzzFeed. Did you know that I’m most like Hermione from Harry Potter? Those quizzes reveal so much,” I deadpanned.
Mason chuckled, tucking me under his arm as we walked back to my bedroom. “I can see it. You’ve got the whole hot, brainy thing going on.”
We got back into bed, snuggling underneath the covers. I couldn’t remember the last time I had shared a bed with someone. It felt strange having Mason’s heat and smell all over my sheets. Sleeping next to someone else took some getting used to. I couldn’t work out which side I should lie on. Should I face Mason, or should I face the wall?
I found out quickly that I wasn’t the kind of woman who liked to sleep pressed up against someone else. I needed my space. Mason, on the other hand, wanted to spoon.
But aside from all that, the soft sound of Mason’s breathing as I went to sleep was comforting. Pleasurable in a way that I hadn’t expected.
My cheek was pressed against Mason’s chest; his hand was heavy on my back. “I need to leave soon,” he said. I could feel the vibration of his voice beneath my skin.
“I know.” I sounded sad. And I was. I liked having him here. In my space.
“But I’ll see you tonight. When you come by to pick me up to go see Charlotte,” he went on.
Yes.
The root kit was ready. The thumb drive was safe in my purse.
Today would be the day.
I tried not to be nervous, but I was. This could be the point when it all went wrong.
I felt his lips in my hair and I wanted to relax against him. But I was too wired thinking about the precarious situation I found myself in.
Toxicwrath wanted me to shut this down. Thought I was in too deep.
I thought about that moment when I had suspected my shadow partner of being my ex-roommate.
The possibility had seemed so real.
He had alleviated my concerns, hadn’t he?
“It means so much to me that you asked me to come with you to see your sister,” Mason said, his voice breaking slightly.
I looked up at him in the dark. His eyes were bright. Wet. “It means a lot to me that you want to come.”
He let out a shuddering breath but didn’t say anything else. I knew he was thinking of his brother. I gave him the room to grieve all over again.
I thought about what I had planned today. How I would go to Mason’s office and I would infiltrate his computer. Violate his trust even further.
I shivered.
Knowing what I was going to do didn’t fill me with excitement. It didn’t leave me satisfied with my own cunning.
I felt vile. Disgusting. Reprehensible.
I held him tightly against me, filling him with my dishonest love.
He was sleeping with a ghost, and neither of us knew if I was real.
He hoped that I was. He prayed he wasn’t making a mistake. That his feelings for me were well placed.
I was terrified that the longer he held on, the harder it would be for me to disappear.
That he wouldn’t let me.
Why did that make me happy?
Was Toxicwrath right?
“I have to head back to my place and feed Tigger and get changed before work.” Mason continued to hold me, neither of us moving. He kissed my hair again, letting his mouth linger. “But I think I’ll stay like this for a little while longer, if that’s all right,” he whispered.
I nodded, my throat too tight, my heart too full. And we listened to each other breathe in the dark, wishing for things that could never be.
I didn’t realize until the tears had dried on my skin that I had been crying.
Chapter 22
Hannah
I was nervous. Worse than nervous. I was a quivering mess.
I stood out front of the large redbrick building housing the Richmond FBI field office and tried to make myself go inside. The building was imposing and more than a little intimidating, which didn’t help.
I clutched my car keys in my hand, the sharp edges biting into my palm. The tiny thumb drive sat snugly on the silver unicorn key chain. Unobtrusive. Unnoticeable.
Mason was expecting me. I had to go inside.
Toxicwrath’s words from earlier rang through my head.
Shut it down.
I couldn’t. I had come too far. I needed to be able to track my case. I couldn’t risk getting caught.
I had to know if Mason was closing in.
Even if it meant betraying him.
My chest hurt at the thought.
It came down to what was more important.
My freedom or my heart.
I thought about Charlotte and knew that getting caught wasn’t an option.
But neither was hurting Mason.
I was screwed no matter what I did.
Unless he never finds out.
Could I live with lying to him every day? Could I really think about building a future with a man I couldn’t be honest with?
My whole life is a web of lies. What’s one more added to the pile?
I felt as if I were living on borrowed time. I knew I couldn’t keep up the act indefinitely. Pretending to be the loving girlfriend was harder than it looked.
But I wasn’t exactly pretending anymore, was I?
“Are you looking for something?”
I startled, gripping my keys so tightly that they broke flesh. I glanced over at a thin man with a balding patch on the top of his head and a smarmy smile.
“This is the FBI field office, right?”
The man nodded. “You’re in the right place. Come on, let me show you the way.” He held the door open for me and I walked through, knowing full well he was staring at my ass the whole time.
“You’ll need to sign in and show identification over there,” the man said, pointing to the visitors desk. He followed me, standing a little too close.
“I think I can handle it from here,” I told him, trying to smile. I didn’t need a hanger-on when I was trying to focus myself.
“It’s no problem. I just want to make sure you don’t get lost.” His hand came to rest on my lower back and I quickly moved away.
“Please don’t touch me,” I said quietly but forcefully.
The man chuckled and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Sure thing.” We stopped at the visitors desk and the man turned his questionable charm on the older woman behind the table.
“Hi, Chaz. How are you?” the woman asked.
Chaz? What kind of name was Chaz?
“I’m great, Shirley. Ran three miles before work. Gotta get the cardio in.” Chaz looked at me and I wanted to roll my eyes. He was so obvious, it was pathetic.
“How’s Marla? You two should come over for dinner again sometime soon.” I looked down at Chaz’s right hand and saw a gold wedding band. What a creep.
Chaz pursed his mouth, obviously not appreciating the mention of his wife in front of the woman he was trying to impress. “Yes, well, maybe.” He cleared his throat, shooting me another look. “Anyway, I wanted to help this lovely lady find where she’s going. This is—”
“Hannah. Hannah Whelan.” I produced my driver’s license and handed it over. “I’m here to see Mason Kohler.”
The man beside me stiffened. Interesting.
“Here’s your visitor’s badge. Now just sign here.” Shirley handed me a pen.
“You’re here to see Agent Kohler?” the man asked. “What for?”
His demeanor had cooled considerably. It was more than obvious he didn’t like Mason.
I leaned in close while Shirley made a copy of my driver’s license. “I’m
the woman who’s fucking him,” I said demurely, batting my eyelashes.
Chaz’s face went red. “Well, I’m sure you can find your own way, then.” He turned on his heel and walked off without another word. Thank God.
“Agent Kohler is on the third floor. The elevators are in the corridor and you need to go through security over there.” Shirley pointed toward the metal detectors.
“Thank you,” I said and headed toward the two armed men. I put my bag and my keys in the plastic bin and walked through the metal detector without issue. I chewed on my bottom lip, watching as they searched my stuff. One of the security guards picked up my keys and examined them. He poked at the unicorn keychain and I thought I was going to vomit all over the floor.
After an endless few seconds, he put them back in the bin and passed it over to me.
I felt weak with relief as I gathered my things and then headed for the elevator. I was feeling incredibly light-headed. I felt like I was in the belly of the beast. I was surrounded by FBI agents. They had no idea that one of their most wanted stood at the back of the elevator headed for the third floor.
The irony was almost humorous. I would have laughed had I not wanted to pass out.
I somehow got to the third floor without losing consciousness and stepped off the elevator.
Now to find Mason. He had told me he was toward the back. I walked slowly past row after row of desks. Agents working. Agents hunting.
Looking for people like me.
It was almost overwhelming how dangerous this was.
The adrenaline coursing through my body made me dizzy. This could all crash down on top of me….
“Hannah!” Mason waved from behind a desk at the very back of the room. As I approached, he smiled, getting to his feet.
“Hey,” I said a little breathlessly.
“You found me okay?” I nodded. Mason pulled out a chair on the other side of the desk and I sat down, pulling my keys into my lap and hiding them with the fold of my jacket. I surreptitiously pulled the thumb drive from its compartment and palmed it.
“You have one messy desk,” I joked, hoping my laugh didn’t sound as fake as I thought it did.
Mason picked up a pile of files and dropped them into his desk drawer, making sure to lock it afterward. “I work best in chaos,” he said. His eyes heated for a brief moment. “I can’t get anything done today. I keep thinking about last night.”
Exploited (Zero Day #1) Page 25
