by C. Lymari
I thrashed again, and this time I really pissed Gideon off.
“Hard way it is,” he stated.
He then removed his arm, and as I took my first full breath, feeling the burn in my lungs, I felt a cold blade at my throat. With Ren, I was never afraid. If anything, I wanted to push him to see how far he would take things. Now here with Gideon, I was scared.
“Look, I don’t want to hurt you. I really don’t, but if you become a pain in my arse, I will.”
“Then hurt me.” I seethed as I pressed my neck closer to his blade. I stayed silent as I felt the edge penetrate my skin.
“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Gideon said with amusement.
He removed the blade, and then his hand came to my chin, forcing me to look up. My scalp dug into the concrete behind me, and my hair was pulled, causing pain from all directions.
Warm wet heat glided across my throat, licking away the blood spilled. My heart sped up and not from repulsion. When Gideon was done, he yanked my head back down.
Once again, he regarded me with a look. He reached for my hair, feeling it between the tips of his fingers. I could have sworn he said “petals,” but I wasn’t sure.
“You remind me of someone.”
I stayed quiet. His interest was starting to freak me out.
“And now I know Falcon will be fucking pissed at me.”
He smiled. Like a psychotic full-on grin that made him look devilish, but boy, was he handsome.
“No more games.”
His face became stony in an instant, and he put both hands to my neck. I thrashed, trying to get away, feeling myself losing the battle as he held on to my pressure points.
“Plea…” The words died in my mouth.
I passed out.
Ren
My ribs were somewhat bruised, I could already tell, and this royally fucked me over for the fight coming up. The fuckers fought dirty and wouldn’t let me take a shot. This wasn’t the first time I’d gotten my ass beat, but it was the first time in a long time. I’d tried to protect myself the best I could and I hoped that was fucking enough.
Once Zeke was content, he had his guards throw me off the yacht. When my body landed in the water, it took all the effort I had to swim out of the cold water.
“Fuck,” I gritted out as I pulled myself out.
“Jesus Christ, Ren.” Pam’s voice came from the shadows. She was now changed into jeans with a backpack on her shoulders.
“Get the fuck away before I wring your neck,” I spat at her as I got my wet body onto the pier.
“What the hell, Ren!” she shouted.
I glared at her to stop before she got us unwanted attention.
“We were a team, and then that stupid little bitch comes along and you act pussy-whipped.”
Ignoring what she was saying, I grabbed her arm and dragged her away. “Did you or did you not know G was here?”
Her silence was more than enough answer.
“Listen, Pam—”
She pulled out of my hold. “No, you listen. Ever since you brought that bitch to our place, you act like our ass is not on the line.”
She had a point.
“How are you supposed to go into the ring like this?” She gestured to my body. I could taste the blood on my busted lip. “I get that I fucked up, but I wanted better for us, Ren. Now don’t throw all that away because of some rich bitch who wouldn’t waste a second and dump your ass as soon as she gets back on her throne.”
I ignored Pamela. I followed her to the car, where she threw the backpack in the back seat.
As soon as I was in the car, I punched the dashboard in frustration.
“Fuck!” I ran my hand through my hair. “Do you have any idea where he’s staying?”
Pam shook her head like I knew she would. Gideon was ex-MI6. If he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t. And I was sure the fucker wanted something from me.
“Fuck,” I groaned again.
“Do you think they sent him?”
In my head, I tried to go over G’s tattoos, but the fucker was covered; it was no use. My days had been numbered since the day after the gala, and I knew it. So did Pam. There were no such things as coincidence in this world.
“Let’s go back to the house.”
“What happens if you can’t find her?” Pam asked.
I turned to look at her as she drove. The weight of my stare pinned her down.
“You don’t want to find out.”
The strong smell of alcohol lured me awake. My head felt fuzzy. At least this time it didn’t hurt.
“Come on, sweet cheeks. Time to wakey, wakey.” The English accent was by my ear, and I felt something—or rather, someone—patting my cheeks…and not the ones on my face.
“Stop touching me,” I mumbled.
My throat was on fire, mixed with the smell of alcohol. I sat up, coughing up half a lung.
“Shit. I should probably give you some water.”
I was gasping for air when a water bottle made its way to my hand. I drank some too fast, and it made me sputter. Once I got my cough and myself under control, I noticed my surroundings. I was in the back of a car. It was dark outside, and I had no idea where we were or if we were even in the state anymore.
“Aw, you’re awake.” Gideon opened the door to the back seat, smiling at me like he hadn’t kidnapped me or choked me until I passed out. “Come on. Let’s go before Falcon levels the whole city.”
My mind was still a little messed up from the lack of oxygen, so I didn’t pay attention to what Gideon was saying. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the car. Once I was out, he patted my head, trying to fix my hair, and pulled my dress down so it covered my ass.
“I think I made Falcon suffer enough. I was going to make him think I took you on a happy, bouncy ride, but if he’s mad, he won’t listen to me.”
What. The. Hell?
I closed my eyes, trying hard to make sense of this guy. He was…there was no word to describe him.
“He won’t like that you took me, though,” I said.
Gideon put a hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed. “You see, that’s where I have my advantage. While Falcon has some sort of code, I sure as fuck don’t. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you were just a means to an end. Nothing personal.”
Seriously? Nothing personal?
“I hope he kills you,” I spat at him as he dragged me across the street.
“I can see the appeal,” he muttered with amusement.
Luckily for me, I didn’t have to ask for him to elaborate, because he did it on his own.
“Men like us, we don’t do easy. There’s strength, then there’s forged-in-fire strong. We tend to go for the second choice. Your skin is unmarred, pristine—bet it drives him crazy.”
I gulped, and I wondered if that was why he was always pulling his scalpel on me.
“Is that what you like?”
“Broken petals and thorns don’t scare me. I’ll take a body full of scars any day.”
Having no idea what that meant, I kept my mouth shut. That was, until I noticed we were at the front of the building Ren and Pam called home.
“Mate!” Gideon shouted as he knocked.
He was certified crazy. There was no doubt in my mind.
“I’ve found what you lost!”
“Found? You fucking stole me!”
“Technically, I wo—”
As soon as the door opened, Ren aimed his gun at Gideon, and Gideon aimed his at my head.
“Come on, mate. You wouldn’t shoot a friend?” Gideon smirked.
“A friend, no. You, I’d have no problem.”
Then Ren turned to me, his eyes frozen like the artic. They raked from the top of my head to the bottom of my shoes. He was hurt. That was the first thing I noticed about him. He had changed into jeans and a black T-shirt. His lip was busted, and his hands had cuts on them. They had hurt him.
“You fuck him?”
>
“You did not just say that to me!” I shouted, pissed that I’d noticed he’d been hurt and he wanted to know if I fucked someone else. I lifted my neck to show him the cut that still burned. “Does this look like we had a grand time? The asshole cut me, then licked me.”
One second Ren was still pointing his gun at Gideon, the next he was in front, punching him. When Gideon dropped, I ran into Ren’s arms. The first thing that hit me was his smell. I had never had anyone hug me and make me feel like I was home when I was with them, but the way I felt right now in Ren’s arms…it felt like finally having a place to call home. His arms wrapped tight around me, pulling me close to his body, and it wasn’t enough. I wanted him to crush me into him to make it hurt so I knew it was real.
The way he held me, I knew he cared. I’d known he cared for a long time. I just didn’t want to admit it, and neither did he. You couldn’t block the sun with a finger, and what we felt for each other was inevitable.
“Fuck, mate. I licked her neck, not her pussy.”
Ren went stiff, and I knew he didn’t like any part of that sentence. My heart was beating like crazy as I reached to his face and forced him to look at me. I’d never cared about anyone enough to show them that they meant something to me. Everyone always made the first move, and I made the last one, usually by leaving and never speaking to them again.
I guided his face down to mine, and I kissed him. It was the first time I’d ever kissed someone when sex was not on the table. It was a desperate kiss, burning me from within and consuming my soul. He was like water, food, and air, everything I needed to survive. I may have started it, but Ren took full control. His hand came to the back of my head, holding in me in place as his lips bruised against mine, making the cut on his lip open up. He made it hurt so I knew it was real, because pain was the only thing that left a lasting effect that served as a reminder that you didn’t imagine it.
“Ren,” I said against his lips.
Pam appeared at the entrance. “Can we take this inside before you idiots cause the cops to stop and ask what’s going on?”
“Pamela. Long time no see.” Gideon winked.
Ren led me inside the warehouse. As soon as we walked through the door, he turned to Gideon.
“Weapons.” He nodded toward a table that was nearby.
Gideon did as Ren asked and started by putting two guns on the table, followed by the knife that was at my neck earlier. He also moved his jacket and pulled out a small needle with a clear liquid.
“Is that T?” Pam asked in fascination.
I wanted to know what T was, but the reality of what kind of mess I was in was now starting to sink in. I mean, I knew Ren was dangerous, but he actually killed people. He hung out with men who carried weapons all the time.
“Are you okay, princess?” Ren whispered in my ear, but his eyes hadn’t left Gideon because he was a threat.
I thought about his question before I decided that I was okay. I didn’t care what Ren did for a living. I didn’t care that what we had had started out as a lie. What mattered was that I wasn’t his to protect anymore, and he still wanted to do it.
I’d never had that before, and it was an addictive feeling.
Once Gideon had taken off all his weapons and, for some reason, his jacket, we went to sit down.
“What do you want, G?” Ren asked as he pulled me to his lap.
“Heard about your audition.”
Ren went still. “Go wait in the room, Ember.”
He was hiding something from me. Fuck that—I wasn’t going into the room.
“No,” I told him.
“Ember,” he stressed.
“What are you hiding?”
“There are things—”
I cut him off. “Someone has wanted me dead for years. I know you aren’t exactly Mr. Nice Guy, and this isn’t the committee for world peace, so I’m staying. Besides, you didn’t get your stupid money for the fight.”
“You’re going into the ring?” Gideon asked.
Ren ignored everything and stood up, taking me with him.
“Are you with them?” He leveled Gideon with a look.
“The vote to join has to be unanimous. I ruffled some petals, so I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“It’s feathers,” I told him.
“Oh no, it was most definitely petals.”
“I’m fucking wiped. We can talk about this tomorrow morning?” Ren said.
“Aw are we having a slumber party? Wait, we’re too old. It’s called an orgy now,” Gideon quipped.
Ren shook his head, but didn’t bother to respond him again. We took the stairs up, and I noticed how sluggish Ren was walking.
“Are you in pain?” I asked once we were in the room.
Ren looked at me first with confusion, but it slowly morphed into awe.
“Am I in pain?” he asked, dumbfounded.
“They hurt you,” I whispered.
“Baby, you were kidnapped.” His hand came to my face, cupping it.
I would never admit it aloud, but I liked the way he called me baby. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, there was a softness to it that calmed me.
“You lost…”
Ren sighed, then sat on the edge of the bed. It took me no time to realize how much things had changed between us. If you had told me a year ago that Ren and I would be here like this, I would have laughed. Darkness always called to darkness, and mine loved his.
“There’s a hit on mine and Pam’s heads,” he started by saying.
I gasped, surprised because that’s the last thing I thought he would have told me.
“I shouldn’t be telling you any of this, but I figured there’s a lot of lies between us.” He ran a hand through his face, looking tired. “I wasn’t completely honest with you the other day.” My stomach filled with dread, and I felt like I wanted to throw up. “You weren’t the only reason I wanted to come work for Remington’s. I was never supposed to be your guard. I didn’t expect you to ditch your old one as quickly. Make no mistake, Ember—I would have still found a way to get you beneath me, but that wasn’t my priority. My life and Pam’s were. There’s an organization, and when you audition for them, you give them what you promised, or they put a price on your life for making them waste your time.”
“What are you saying?” I whispered.
“Princess, you’re not stupid,” Ren answered back just as softly.
I wasn’t stupid, but I needed to hear him say it.
“It was a heist to clear your vault to get enough cash to pay back the organization so they wouldn’t come after us.”
I shook my head, letting his words sink in. I always knew there were secrets he hid, and it made sense.
“This is why you haven’t killed me.” I looked down at the floor because I couldn’t look at him and see that everything that had happened these past few days was a lie to him. “You still need me.”
My back hit the door hard. Ren was pissed; his blue eyes had gone inky. His hand was at my throat, and with his thumb he caressed where Gideon had cut me.
“Don’t,” he growled. “Don’t try to twist some bullshit in your head.”
I huffed. “You said I would pay. You still need me—”
He bent his head so that we could see eye to eye. The warmth of his face on my cheeks provided a false sense of security.
“That’s right, princess. I need you. I crave you. I fucking want you. You got under my fucking skin, and I can’t make you go away…and I know I got under yours.”
My mouth stayed shut because I couldn’t deny it.
“I was so fucking furious at you that day in the maze, but one thing became clear. You were mine, and no one was going to take you away from me. Here you are. You know who I am, and you know what I do, and you still let me into your body. You don’t give a shit that I’ve killed, and you don’t give a shit that I will probably do it again. You’re as fucked up as I am, Ember, and you want to be owned by me.
You want that sense of belonging to someone. For someone to give a fuck whether you live or die, and that someone is me, princess.”
I was panting now at his words; they tugged at every emotion I had. Emotions I rarely felt because feelings made you weak and vulnerable.
“I’ve never been scared before, Ember. When you live by the sword, you die by it too, so I’ve always known my end would be bloody. But today, the moment they ripped you from my arms, I was afraid. I was afraid to lose you. I was never going to kill you, Ember. I was going to keep you.”
It wasn’t a declaration of love, far from it.
It was a declaration of want.
He wanted me, flaws and all.
“What happens now?”
Ren put his lips on my own and made a vow. “We find a way not to die.”
We were so different yet the same, both of us with a price on our heads, but could we really defy death?
“As much as I love your fucking mouth, when we’re out there…” He pointed outside the door. “…keep your mouth shut. When we’re alone, you can bitch as much as you want. When we have company, you don’t say anything that makes me look weak.”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t joke about your safety,” he deadpanned. “Did he touch you?”
“No, Ren. I didn’t fuck him.” I pushed him away from me.
“That’s not what I asked.” Ren was angry again. “Did he hurt you somewhere I can’t see?”
My heart broke in places I didn’t know it was capable of breaking. What would Ren think of me if he knew what Silas did to me?
“I’m going to take a quick shower.” Ren walked away, not waiting for my answer.
I watched him leave and processed everything that had happened. We were both fucked up, and that made us perfect for each other. I could never be with a spineless socialite who enjoyed wasting Daddy’s money. That wasn’t me. I didn’t know a lot about myself, but I did know that I wanted Ren, and I was going to ride this wave until it came to an end. People always abandoned me, so I squared my shoulders. When and if he left me, I would survive that too.
