I don’t think about any of that now. I just hold my daughter, and I spend some time with my technically ex-wife. I wonder if Brandi wants to remarry. I cringe slightly. I wonder if I want to. Every time I think about it, I think of Laurel. I shake my head. How am I ever going to make things work with Brandi if I can’t get Laurel out of my head? After the marathon, I think I’m going to quit my job at the gym. I thought I could stay friends with Laurel, but I can’t. I wish I could. I really, really wish that I could, but I can’t stop thinking about her in a romantic way –so if I’m ever going to salvage my family, I think I’m going to have to stop seeing Laurel –and it really pains me to think that way.
75
Another day at the gym. I’m in a good mood today. Ambriel is supposed to finally be coming out of the NICU; I can hardly believe it. They’re letting her out almost two weeks sooner than we thought that they would. Tonight after work, I’ll be coming home to my girls instead of driving up to the hospital. I’m really looking forward to it. I head into the gym, and its business as usual. Laurel and I are doing a little better about being around each other, but I suppose at this point it doesn’t matter. Once the marathon is over, I’m quitting my job here. I’ll probably have to pick up another side job somewhere until the boxing thing kicks back up again, but I can’t keep being around Laurel. It’s driving me crazy. The marathon event is three weeks away, and all my work is going to pay off soon. The event will be good for the gym, the community, and my reputation –so I’m not going to ditch Alex until it’s over with since I am running pretty much the entire thing.
I don’t do much running around the gym today as far as repairs go. I am up to my throat in paperwork and to-do lists in preparation for the marathon. I’ve been on the phone with the Battered Women’s Home all week; they have a number of men and women who volunteer for them who will be coming out to help. My phone beeps, letting me know that it’s time for me to go get ready for the self-defense course.
I head up the second floor in the large glass room that overlooks the majority of the gym; this is where I teach one of my smaller, more intimate classes. It also works as great advertisement for any women who are in the gym to see my student’s plain as day up here having fun and learning. I get the room set up, and the class piles in. I’m not paying much attention to the faces while I work to get a CD player working; I like to start some music while the women warm up; they seem to like it too, but the damn player is giving me fits this afternoon.
Finally, some music starts, and I stand up and turn around just as fucking Vivian, my ex side-chick, comes strutting in. She flairs a slip of paper around and slaps it against my chest. “Hey boo,” she says playfully, “looks like I’m your newest student.”
I snag the paperwork from her. You have got to be shitting me. As if I don’t have enough women to deal with in my life right now. I look at the paperwork, and I cringe to see it’s true. She joined the fucking gym, and she signed up for my class. The five other women who are here all stare at her. She looks like a total joke in her brand new, ridiculously tight pink leopard print yoga pants and her sports bra that is really just a glorified push-up bra. Her hair is braided back instead of your typical ponytail, and she has done her makeup. Who does their makeup before a workout?
“Um… okay,” I grumble. This is the last thing I need right now.
“Okay, ladies,” I say to get everyone’s attention –they’re all staring at Vivian who is clearly prepared to make a show of herself.
We start with a warm up –basic stuff, jogging in place and stretches. Vivian, I swear, is intentionally doing everything incorrectly just so I have to come over and show her what to do. “So how have you been?” she asks as I help her into a stretch.
“Good, you?” I respond shortly.
“Been missing you,” she says with a wink as I lean over to help push her into a stretch.
The other women are staring; I’m sure they can see the discomfort on my face because I’m not trying to hide it at all. Then she crosses a line –and she does it in the over the top style that is Vivian. While I’m bent over helping her into a stretch, she reaches her hand straight up my gym shorts. “What the fuck!” I shout and tumble back in surprise, landing flat on my ass next to her.
She just laughs. The other women are staring; they saw it. I mean, it’s not like she tried to be sly about it. “What the hell is wrong with you?” one of the women, Margie, snaps at her.
“Seriously?” another chimes in. “He’s trying to teach a class.”
Vivian waves her off. “Sorry. We’re old friends, I can’t help but to screw with him.”
“Well screw with him later,” Margie says.
Vivian winks at me, “gladly.”
“Fuck off, Vivian,” I say and stand. “Get out.” I point towards the door.
“I just paid for this class. You’re not kicking me out,” she says and stands. “Come on, I was just screwing with you. You didn’t used to mind.”
“Yeah, well, I’m fucking married now, Vivian. Back off,” I warn.
“No, you’re not,” she reminds me. “That bitch left you, remember?”
“Get out!” I snap. “Right now!”
“Since when are you such a pussy?” she asks, crossing her arms –quite hell bent on causing a scene.
The other women are standing and glaring at her as though they think their stares are enough to scare this psychopath away. Where did she come from all of a sudden? Honestly –I haven’t heard from her in months. Not since she scratched up my Ferrari with her keys after I had dumped her to marry Brandi. That was a lifetime ago.
“Get the fuck out, Vivian!” I shout again.
She takes a breath, puts on an innocent pout, and starts towards the door. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t mean to cross a line.”
Bipolar. She’s got to be bipolar or a damn sociopath or something. She looks like she’s about to start crying. I don’t want to come off as a complete tool in front of my clients, so I step out of the room for a moment to talk to Vivian before I send her on her way. The soccer moms don’t know how crazy she is, so I don’t want to come off as a complete jackass. They can see us clearly through the glass walls as we stand out on the second floor track. “Look, you should try to get your money back. This place is expensive, and you really shouldn’t be coming up here just to see me,” I begin.
“Why are you acting so distant towards me?” she asks. “I mean, you used to cheat on Brandi with me all the time. What’s so different now –the baby?”
“I was seeing you and Brandi at the same time, yes, but I left you when I decided I wanted to marry Brandi. I’m not interested in cheating on her, got it?” I can’t believe how blatant she is about this. What is wrong with her?
She suddenly puts her hands on me; I swear I might punch her. She strokes my chest and reaches out and grabs me between the legs like it’s nothing –like the entire class, and now where we’re standing, the entire gym, isn’t watching. “Fuck!” I shout and give her a shove, but she’s latched onto my groin like a damn lobster. “Get off me, you crazy bitch!” I push her, and she intentionally falls over. It’s obvious to me and to everyone else in the gym that the fall was intentional. I see Alex running up the stairwell.
“Get out of my gym!” Alex roars, and she yanks Vivian up by the hair. Damn, Alex.
“Let go of me, you bitch! I’ll sue this place. One of your employees just knocked me over,” she snarls.
“I’ve watched men tumble over during NBA games whose falls were more convincing than that,” Alex hisses and marches towards the stairs, still gripping Vivian by the hair. I follow; I know how feisty Vivian can be, so I’m pretty sure Alex is going to need help getting her out the door. The soccer moms, they all love drama, are not too far behind me.
The female fighters –Lillian and her crew –are already out in the parking lot to escort her of the property. Vivian breaks free of Alex and slaps the shit out of her. I reach out and grab h
er under her arm to pull her away from Alex. “That’s enough!” I shout. “Damn it, Vivian! Have some self-respect!” I scream, and I spot her car. I walk her over to it, and I give her a shove.
Half of the gym is out in the parking lot standing behind Alex and me. “I want my money back!” Vivian shouts, pointing a finger at Alex.
Someone in the crowd tosses Vivian all the shit she had stashed in the locker room; it was one of the fighters. Vivian scrambles to grab everything and throw it into the back of the car, cussing me and Alex out the entire time. Alex holds up her phone and snaps a picture of Vivian. “I’ll put it back on your card.”
“Why did you take a picture?” she snaps and steps forward like she’s going to try to take Alex’s phone. I step between the two of them and take a few slaps from her.
“I’m going to put it on a charming poster with a Do Not Allow Inside reminder on the outside of the gym… although, I’m sure all of my employees will remember your crazy ass after this,” Alex snorts slightly and puts her phone into her gym shorts.
Vivian takes a step back, observes the growing crowd, and huffs. “Fuck all of you!”
“Get off my property before I call the police,” Alex warns.
“Fine! I’m going!” she turns towards her car, pauses, and then turns back to look at me. “You know, we weren’t the only ones goofing around back then, Jonathan. If I were you, I’d get a DNA test for that pretty little baby girl of yours.” She climbs into the car before I can question her about what she meant, and she peels out of the parking lot.
DNA test? I’m pretty sure my entire world just fell apart.
76
It’s probably not surprising that I cancelled my training class; the women all seemed to understand. Vivian had aired my dirty laundry for everyone, and she had hinted that Ambriel wasn’t even mine. I took an early lunch, and I have just been sitting in the break room staring at my turkey sub for twenty minutes. I took two bites out of the thing when I first got in here, and it’s making me sick to my stomach.
I just sit with my head in my hands, hovering my face over my lunch as I contemplate whether or not I want to eat it and risk throwing it all up later. My nerves are shot. I’ve never felt so angry, sick, and betrayed. Could Ambriel really not be mine? It had never occurred to me otherwise. She had gotten pregnant before the split; that would mean Brandi would have had to have cheated on me. How could Vivian even know if she had?
The door to the break room opens, and Laurel pokes her head in. I’m not so sure I want to see Laurel right now of all people. “Hey,” Laurel says and closes the door behind her.
“Hey,” I say without looking up at her.
She comes and sits down beside me. “Look, that crazy bitch was probably just blowing smoke to fuck with your head,” she says. “Brandi is a good woman. I really doubt that she would have cheated on you, and I especially don’t think she would drag you around letting you think that baby wasn’t yours if there was even a slight chance that it wasn’t. I don’t know Brandi well, but as far as I can tell, she is a decent human being. Vivian was just trying to mess with you.”
“Thanks,” I grumble and look up. I lean back in my chair and glance her way. “Brandi went running to someone I couldn’t stand the moment we split up. It makes me wonder if maybe she does lack good judgement. Maybe she did cheat on me? Maybe Ambriel’s not mine…” Saying it out loud makes my stomach churn. I really think I might just throw up or pass out.
“Come on, she looks just like you,” Laurel says, and I raise a brow her way. “Marianna showed me a picture. She’s beautiful, Jonathan.”
“She looks like Brandi,” I say. “God, should I talk to Brandi about this?”
“Does Brandi know about Vivian?” Laurel asks.
“Unfortunately she does. Vivian is not one of my prouder moments. It was less than a year ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I was that sleazy jackass cheating on his girlfriend. I broke up with her before I asked Brandi to marry me. I wanted to get serious and stop fooling around on her.” I shake my head. “This is just karma coming back to bite me in the ass.”
“No, just a slutty ex who’s wanting to shake things up. That woman obviously loves drama, I mean, did you see that goofy fall she did when you shoved her? She just came up here to fuck around with you, Jonathan,” Laurel puts a hand on my shoulder.
“What should I do?” I ask.
“I think Vivian was just blowing smoke, but you know both Vivian and Brandi better than I do,” Laurel says. She removes her hand. “Do what you think you need to do, but I would be careful. You don’t want to ruin your relationship with Brandi over nothing. Your relationship still seems a bit… fragile.”
“That’s an understatement,” I say, but suddenly a smile crosses over my face. “Thank you, Laurel.”
“Of course. Anytime,” she says and stands. “Good luck. Oh, and just because I feel like screwing with you a little bit myself –did you really use to hit that? I mean, really? What the fuck, Jonathan? Pink leopard print yoga pants? I mean, if that’s what does it for you….”
“Shut up,” I say with a laugh as she leaves the room.
Alex lets me leave work nearly an hour early today. I think me being here is just killing the mood after all of that drama anyways. Just what I need is for a hell of a lot of drama to go down in front of an entire gym full of women; I’m sure the entire city is going to be talking about this shit.
I arrive home, and Brandi is passed out in our bed. I smile. That must mean Ambriel is sleeping. The baby monitor is turned on next to our bed, and I can see her starting to fuss. I can’t help myself. I go into her room, and I can hear the soft fussing sounds starting to turn into a cry. I pick her up and hold her close to me. She’s still hooked up to a little oxygen tube, and there is a monitor on her foot keeping a close eye on her heart rate. She’s healthy, but the doctors have us taking precautions. Glancing out her window, I see a police officer pulling up for the night. They have pretty much been arriving with the sunset and leaving with the sunrise.
Ambriel lets out a loud cry, and I bounce her slightly. Suddenly she coos, and my heart melts. My stomach drops. What if she’s not mine? I’ve never loved anything so much in my life. Fuck Vivian for screwing with me like this!
“Shh…” I say and sway back and forth. Holy shit, I got her back to sleep! I wind up sitting in the rocking chair just because I want to spend some time holding her. I lay her little head on my chest; she’s so small, it’s crazy. I can’t get what Vivian said out of my head. I swear, if this turns out to be a load of shit Vivian made up, I might strangle her for doing this to me. Why would she mess with me like this? Ambriel sleeps with her little mouth wide open; she has a slight snore.
I glance around the room; pink everywhere. So much pink, it makes me a little dizzy. The stuffed kangaroo with the pink gloves is sitting right beside the rocking chair, and I kind of grin at it. I think back to the ultrasound photo of Ambriel holding up her little fists. She has to be mine. I cringe. What if this is why Brandi has turned around so quickly? What if she’s feeling guilty for cheating on me and that’s why she’s been so laid back with everything? Surely she wouldn’t just go around lying to me about this?
A lump forms in the base of my throat. Ambriel wiggles in my arms, and I stare down at her as her little eyes struggle to blink open. She goes cross eyed for a moment while her eyes focus in on me, and I laugh slightly –a tear escapes my eye, and I wipe it away quick. God, what if she’s not mine? I can’t stand the thought of it. I’m going to be sick. “Hey, sweetheart,” I say to her as her eyes open as wide as her mouth. There is this funny look on her face, like she’s shocked yet calm. I feel myself laughing slightly, but I’m crying. It’s like Brandi’s damn hormones are contagious, I swear.
Ambriel lets this loud, long-winded sigh escape and then starts wiggling in my arms again, trying to get comfortable. She lets out a quiet cry, but it subsides quickly when she wiggles her head into a more comfortab
le position. I can hear Brandi stirring down the hall –probably on her way here now, and I rush to wipe away tears before she has a chance to see.
77
Brandi enters into the nursery just as I am attempting to wipe my face dry. She smiles brightly at me and at Ambriel. “She has that effect on me too,” Brandi says as she makes her way over to us both. One of her arms drapes over my shoulder as she leans over me to get a good look at her. She refastens the monitor on her foot. “Got to make sure this is on good. I’m so paranoid. I mean, she’s just so little, you know?”
“Yeah,” I say as I slowly and cautiously hand Ambriel to Brandi.
Brandi is a natural; I think most moms are and just don’t realize it. She has the baby asleep almost instantly, and I am kind of jealous at how quickly she was able to do that. I’m still learning. I suppose I’ll get there eventually. Brandi holds a finger to her lips, and I nod. The two of us sneak out of the nursery and back down the hall to our bedroom where she almost immediately picks up the baby monitor to watch Ambriel on the video. “She’s so quiet,” Brandi says. “I swear, I can’t sleep half the time because I’m going in there to check on her.”
I smile at her, but I’m very distracted. I can’t stop thinking about what Vivian said, and it’s really driving me insane. “Mom and Dad seem to think she looks like me,” Brandi says, “but honestly, I see a lot of you in there too. It’s those eyes of hers. They’re definitely yours.”
Filthy Desires: A Romantic Suspense Collection Page 154
