He wiped a hand over his tired eyes. He had not been sleeping since he ran into Clarissa. His heart contracted. Since her departure, he barred his heart against emotions, vowing that no one would ever be able to make him care again. To love someone hurt and he promised himself it would never happen again.
Now … after nearly six years, the one that jeopardized that promise was the same one who compelled him to make that promise in the first place.
Yet … she used him, betrayed him. Horribly betrayed him and now she attempted to shift all the blame on his shoulders. He would not allow her to get under his skin again … ever again!
Robbie’s excited shouts shuttered his pondering and brought him back to the present. “Look Dad! It’s Rissa!” His shorts legs pumping furiously, he ran towards his mermaid just coming out of the sea. Her body glistened like that of a bronzed goddess, water streamed down her wet body like the fingers of a hungry lover.
His hungry eyes followed one rivulet of water from her shoulder over the slope of her full breast, down her flat tummy until it disappeared in the bright pink bikini bottom. He swallowed hard at the lump in his throat and swung furious eyes on her.
Clarissa looked up and smiled when her eyes fell on the little boy running towards her and had to brace herself when he threw himself through the air into her arms. The breath wheezed out of her and she struggled to keep her footing. Not realizing that he nearly toppled them over, he beamed at her and wrapped his arms around her neck.
“Rissa, I longed for you!” Clarissa smiled and tenderly wiped the black hair from his brow.
“You mean you missed me?”
His smiling face answered the question, as did the low rumble next to her.
“Yeah … I’m sure that’s what he meant. You have to actually love someone to long for them.”
Her eyes lifted to his and his fiery gaze captured hers and refused to let go, the message in them one of loathing. When Robby started wiggling, she realized that her grip around his body has tightened and she slowly lowered him to the sand. Her breathing was shallow and uneven.
Would she ever get used to seeing him look at her that way, all the while longing for love to shine from his eyes, rather than distaste and loathing? Worse than that, would she survive not seeing him again once he leaves in a few weeks even though he made it clear he hates her now? A low sob escaped her and she swung away, briskly walking towards her cottage.
“I must say I am surprised to see you up so early,” Raymond growled softly behind her.
She glanced back at him. His lips were pressed together and his jaw tight. Robby happily followed a step behind him, trying to step into his feet imprints in the sand.
“Why is that?”
“Well, after your hot date …”
He allowed the sentence to dangle and her heart tightened remembering how their nights used to end after they went on dates.
“I have to work … and besides, it’s none of your business.” She increased her pace, longing for the privacy of her cottage, away from his probing eyes.
“Guess not. Tell me, do you still have the stamina you used to?”
Her breath caught in her throat and she speared a glance at him, stopped mid-stride and slammed her fists on her hips.
He turned towards her, his gaze caressing a trail of heat down her body that had her skin burn all the way to her toes and back. Belatedly she realized that she was standing in front of him in a skimpy bikini and no towel! She felt her nipples tingle in response to his hot gaze and wrapped her arms around waist so that he did not notice.
“You are crude!” His black eyebrow shot towards his hairline and he slowly grinned.
“Now whatever are you thinking about? Tsk, tsk, I was merely referring to your ability to party into all hours of the night!”
His eyes moved over her face, hesitated on her lips and slid down to stare at her breasts. His slow smirk told her he noticed the effect he had on her.
“Well, I see you are the one with the … em … luscious thoughts! Does that mean he was not able to satisfy you … or that you just do not have what it takes any …?”
“Raymond! Stop it! How dare you talk to me that way! I am not some cheap …Oh!”
Words escaped her and she felt hot tears burning her eyes. She swung around and furiously started jogging away.
His hard hand around her elbow brought her up short and he roughly hauled her back against his warm body. All the way, up against him, so that she felt every hard ridge and muscle straining against her near naked body.
His warm breath feathered against her neck and she nearly fainted when he placed a soft kiss at the base of her neck. His lips nuzzled her skin softly and he drew the skin between his lips and sucked hard. Her neck fell backwards against his shoulder and she felt herself go weak and hot all over.
“Remember Rissa? All those long, hot nights we used to have. Nights where you could not get enough, kept on asking for more and more, begging me to go faster, harder … deeper.”
His hands tightened around her arms, licking the tingling spot on her neck first before he sucked hard, kissing her neck as only a lover would. She felt weightless in his arms. The fact that he was marking her neck did not even register in her fevered mind. Suddenly he roughly pushed her away from him. She slowly turned around and stared at him with shuttered eyes, trying desperately to hide her heightened desire. His face was grim, hard, and before he opened his mouth, she knew what was coming.
“But then, we both know why you kept my desires burning constantly, don’t we? You gave sleeping your way to the top a new meaning!”
In horror, she stared at the red flush darkening his check, only then realizing that she had slapped him.
Robby’s shocked face shook her to her stomach, and she swung around to run as fast as she could, away from the man staring at her with a shuttered look in his eyes.
“Is Rissa mad at you, Daddy?”
Robby’s small hand crept into Ray’s and he could kick himself for submitting the little boy to the scene he just witnessed. However, he realized since he ran into her, he just couldn’t seem to stop himself.
The desire to hurt her … not just physical pain, but intense pain that demolished her heart and soul, was like a festering wound in his soul. He wiped a tired hand over his eyes, squatted down to his son and pulled him close.
“Daddy was ugly with her, so yes, she is mad at me. I’m sorry, Robert, I shouldn’t have done what I did with you here.”
Eyes, so much like his, gazed back at him, a slight frown marring the small forehead. Robert placed his small hands on Raymond’s cheeks and advised him earnestly, “You should say sorry to Rissa, Daddy!”
Bette speared a worried glance towards Clarissa. She was in a terrible mood since she arrived that morning, glared at everyone, even shouted at the poor porter earlier for not moving his cart out of the elevator quickly enough.
She frowned and worried her inner cheek with her teeth. Did Trace do something to her last night … did they have a fight? She shook her head. No, it could not be, they were not even a couple. She sighed, stood up and swiftly prepared a tray with hot tea and biscuits, and briskly walked with her load into Clarissa’s office.
“I am sure you could do with a nice hot cup of tea by now. You have been murdering your keyboard non-stop for the past hour!”
Clarissa barely looked up, mumbled something and continued typing on her keyboard. Bette cleared her throat: “I said …”
“I heard what you said, Babbette! Just leave it there.” Bette flinched as if slapped. No one ever called her by her given name. It was just not done. The hurt she felt at Clarissa shouting at her sounded in her voice.
“Well, you don’t have to bite my …”
“Then leave me be! Can’t you see I am busy?” Clarissa looked up and glared at Bette irritably and then the guilt struck her as she noticed the younger woman’s expression, tears glistening in her eyes.
“Oh my … I am sorry, B
ette … I…”
She stood up, but Bette ran out of her office before she could round her desk, quickly skirting past the man quietly standing in the door.
Clarissa met Raymond’s eyes and a shuttered look filled hers. She rubbed her neck, turned around and stood staring out the window.
“What … haven’t you drawn enough blood this morning? Are you back for more?”
Raymond slowly walked into the office, closing the door behind him. Remorse for being the cause of Bette’s treatment filled his mind. He sighed and pushed his hands deep in his pockets to keep them from filling with the enticing woman standing in front of him.
“You should not take your vexations for me out on innocent people, Clarissa. I am man enough for any abuse you dish out, but somehow I think you really hurt that young lady just now.”
He saw her flinch and his jaw tightened. He came to apologize for what happened this morning, and here he was, twisting the knife again. He sighed again, waiting for her to face him, but she stubbornly kept looking out the window, her back to him.
“So, are you going to turn around and face me, or do you really want me to touch you again?”
She whipped around so fast it would have been funny if his emotions were not in such turmoil. She glared at him with venom in her eyes, her arms folded so tightly across her chest he marveled that she could breathe.
His eyebrow shot high and a slow grin twisted his mouth. “Now if I were an emotional man, your action just now would really have affronted me!”
“I am so glad you find so much fun in tormenting me! So tell me, what have you planned for our rendezvous this time?”
He stared into her eyes and noticing the wounded expression, he nearly gave in. Then he remembered the years of anguish gone by and he hardened his heart. His eyes came to rest on the dark purplish mark just peeping out of her blouse on her neck and his mouth tightened.
As if on its own volition, his hand lifted, pushed away the thin fabric and his fingers lightly stroked the love mark he had left on her neck. She stiffened, but before she could pull away, his hand moved around her neck and he drew her resisting body closer to his.
Holding her gaze with hot blistering eyes, his head lowered slowly, and then dropped to place a soft tender kiss against her bruised skin.
Clarissa felt shivers run down her spine and every nerve ending in her body trembled from where his warm lips softly caressed her neck to the end of her toes. He pulled away but kept her close against him. His fiery eyes found hers and they stared at each other for what felt like hours, but could not have been more than half a minute.
Then he sighed, pulled her blouse back to cover the bruise and stepped back from her. He pushed his hand wearily through his wayward hair and turned away muttering: “What am I to do with you, Rissa!”
Clarissa strained to hear him not sure if she heard correctly. “What do you mean?”
He turned back to her and looked at her through guarded eyes. He opened his mouth and just as quickly shut it again. He cursed and jammed his hands in his pockets again.
“Ray … what did you mean?”
“Nothing … I came here to apologize. I was totally out of line this morning and should not have behaved the way I did.”
She swallowed her frustration. She was so sure he was going to say something else…something like maybe he still loved her and that is why he treated her the way he did. So much for wishful thinking!
“Yes, you are correct! You should not have, especially not in front of Robby!” His head snapped up and his eyes glittered dangerously.
“Meaning I do not know how to behave in front of my own child!”
“You know the saying … action speaks louder than words!”
Clarissa realized she was baiting him and stepped back. Her hands fluttered upwards, but before she could say anything, he insolently allowed his eyes to burn a blazing path up and down her body.
“Or do you mean that if Robby was not present you wouldn’t have minded so much?” She gasped and sputtered.
“Oh, you … you … I don’t know why I even bother to try! Why don’t you just leave? And please do not bother to apologize for something you do mean. Which in this instance, you clearly don’t!”
His eyes strayed to the bruise on her neck again and the ruthless grin on his lips confirmed the truth of what she just said.
“Don’t get me wrong, Miss Langston. I am not apologizing for leaving my mark on you, only for treating you poorly during the process.”
The smile spread wider at her incensed gasp. “How I would love to be a fly against the wall when you try and explain that love bite to your lover when he knows he did not give it to you!”
“I repeat you are crude! You had no right to do what you did!”
The next instant he stood in front of her, gripped her arms and drew her hard up against him.
“No right! No right! I had every right! Did you conveniently forget that I was your first lover? The first one to touch you, to bring you to ecstasy, the first one your body ever belonged too! The one that taught you the pleasures of the flesh … your flesh! That made you lose control repeatedly and made your body sing! Oh no Clarissa, I have every right! You were mine, body and soul … and even though your soul might have wandered … every indication is still there … your body is still mine! And I will take it … soon … come hell or high water!”
He spun away and strode to the door, pushed it open and walking through it, looked at her over his shoulder and grated out softly, “You might not have any regrets leaving me for this job before, Clarissa, but by the time I leave this Island, I promise you, you will!”
Chapter Five
“You look pale, Clarissa. Is everything okay?”
Clarissa quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks on hearing Retha’s concerned voice. She turned with a forced smile towards her.
Afternoon Retha, I’m fine, just tired. The festival takes a lot out of us every year.”
Retha was clearly skeptical and lifting her hand, wiped a last tear from Clarissa’s cheek. Inside she seethed. If not for Cecile and Miguel’s interference six years ago, this beautiful woman would have been the happiest in the world today, for that matter, Raymond as well.
“Is he giving you a hard time, love?”
Clarissa swallowed hard at the knot forming at the back of her throat. How much Retha reminded her of her mother. Moreover, how much she missed her mother at this moment. Retha took her hands in hers.
“I am not trying to make excuses for his behavior, love. It knocked him very hard when you left. He became a different person overnight. He never laughed, he never smiled … he just worked. Day and night, until his body could not take the punishment anymore and he collapsed. Robby was two at the time and we all got such a fright.”
Clarissa stared at her with wide eyes. “Collapsed … what …”
“He had an angina attack. Not a serious one, but serious enough to make him realize what he was doing to himself.” Clarissa shook her head.
“I do not understand. Robby is nearly five, which means he was conceived within months after I left. It could not have been that hard on him! If he was so devastated, where did Robby …”
The thought of him falling into another woman’s arms so soon, was too much for her to bear! Even if it might have been to forget about her!
“Linda and Ray … well it is not for me to tell you about that. He should be the one to tell you. They grew up together, but he never loved her in any other way than a sister.”
“Loved…?”
“She passed away six months after Robby was born. She had terminal cancer. She was only twenty six.”
“I never knew … I made a point of not reading tabloid magazines or newspapers. I did not think I would be able to bear seeing another woman on his arm all the time.”
“After he came out of the hospital Miguel and he spoke and reunited for the first time in nearly twelve years. Miguel felt very guilty about the rift
they had when Ray was still a youngster and made amends by guiding him through his recuperation and forcing him to take a step back and slow down. He still works too hard and extremely long hours, but at least he tries to be at home most weekends.”
Clarissa pondered on this for a while. “That is why he never mentioned Miguel or his connection with him. He always supported my desire to work for the Princeton Group, but it was clear that he did not respect or liked anything to do with them. What happened?”
Retha sighed. “It is a long story, but to cut it short, Ray worked for Miguel while he was still studying. He was a hot head when he was young and the two of them clashed all the time. Miguel and Cecile, Rays’ mother, never saw eye to eye and that made the conflict between them even worse. Every time Miguel and Ray had a fight, Cecile would interfere. Obviously, Miguel started Ray at the bottom; he was not going to give him preferential treatment because he was family. Cecile was livid and it was her interference more than Rays’ that caused them to fight. She pushed and pushed until even Ray snapped. The three of them had a huge fight. Miguel said things to Ray that he regretted to this day, but Ray slammed out of his office, vowed never to return there, that he was no longer family to him. Miguel and Cecile continued to fight and what was said between them I still do not know … well …”
She turned and stared at the clear blue Caribbean ocean with dull eyes.
“Miguel and Cecile had a brief affair when we were married about two years … after we found out ….”
A lonesome tear escaped down her cheek. Clarissa took her hand.
“Retha, don’t. You don’t have to…”
“No, I do. We found out that we could not have children. Miguel was devastated. He adored children and we always spoke about having a soccer team of our own. At first, he could not accept the fact that we would never have our own children and refused to consider adopting. We drew further and further apart. He spent more and more time at the office or flew all over the world to attend to matters he normally had others handle.”
Cayman Desires Page 5
