Two days later, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Luckily, her squeamish stomach had settled and she was not throwing up so much anymore. She took great care with her hair and make-up, the long chestnut hair shone in the sunlight, flowing in loose curls to her back. She wore a beige pantsuit with a strappy fold over top hugging her full breasts, covered with a short see through jacket made of stretch material with golden specks.
The golden specs added depth to her Caribbean tan and the sun streaks in her hair. She knew she looked good and she felt beautiful. She slipped a pair of high heeled golden sandals on her feet and rose, then sank quickly back on the bed when she suddenly felt faint. She took deep breaths to calm herself and then rose more cautiously. Maybe all this excitement and too little food, was too much for her. She really ought to start taking better care of herself!
Clarissa wrung her hands in the elevator that carried her to the top floor, where Raymond’s offices were. All of a sudden, she was nervous and not so sure of herself anymore. What if he refused to see her, what if she came all this way for nothing! The elevator doors opened silently and she stepped into a beautifully decorated reception area. This elevator led directly into Raymond’s office suite and was not for the use of visitors, but then a smile and a flutter of eyelashes at the right time achieved miracles sometimes!
An attractive auburn haired woman in her early forties walked in from a heavy wooden door she closed behind her again. Her attention directed at the notebook in her hand. She only noticed Clarissa standing in front of her when she cleared her throat. She frowned and glanced at the still open elevator doors behind her.
“Yes, may I help you?” Her voice was strong and direct, making it clear she was the gatekeeper here.
“I’d like to see Raymond St Claire, please.” The auburn head glanced down to the diary in front of her and frowned again.
“I am afraid I do not have any appointments noted here for Mr. St Claire. Nor is he available without any prior appointments. I’ll be happy to schedule you in if you would explain the purpose of your visit, Miss…?” She jumped up and set after Clarissa who quickly made her way to the heavy wooden door the secretary just exited.
“No! You cannot just walk in there! Miss, come back here …”
Clarissa pushed the heavy door open and walked through the door, with the secretary barging in behind her.
“I am sorry, Mr. St Claire, I tried to stop her …” Clarissa’s eyes got caught and held by the liquid fire in his, flashing at her over the distance that separated them. Without releasing her eyes, he slowly stood up and waved his secretary quiet.
“That is quite all right, Sophia. Please close the door, and make sure we are not disturbed.” The quiet instruction sounded ominous to Clarissa’s ears and she managed to break the hold of his eyes, when she offered a silent apology to Sophia as she walked past her to the door.
Her gaze swung back to Raymond walking around his huge desk and lazily sauntered in her direction where she stood rooted to the spot. Her hungry eyes devoured every delicious inch of him. He was dressed in a light sand colored suit with a white shirt that was carelessly open at his neck. His hair cut neatly, but slightly tousled, as if he had just ran his hand through them. He sported a slight but neat stubble beard, which made him even more attractive.
“I must say, I am surprised, Clarissa. I expected you sooner, at least a day or two…” She frowned and her eyes tore from his broad muscular chest to clash with his.
“You were … you were expecting me?”
His mouth curved into a sensuous grin. His eyes holding hers captive, he walked to the door and with slow deliberation, locked it.
She followed his every movement, her breath caught in her chest with the click of the lock. His next words confused her even more.
“The letter was delivered on Sunday already, so I assumed you received it on Monday when you went to the office? I honestly expected you to be on a plane within the hour.”
“What letter?”
“Come now, Clarissa, are you really going to pretend you are not here to … barter for your job?” His voice splintered through her confusion and she gasped.
“You … you ...!”
She struggled to breathe and angrily stomped towards the door, but the rattle of the keys close to her ears stopped her in her tracks.
“You’re not getting through that door without these.” She grabbed at the keys, but he calmly closed his hand around it and pushed it in his pocket. He slowly walked towards her and she retreated, step for step, until she walked into his desk behind her and had nowhere to go. He kept walking until he stood nearly on top of her.
She pushed against his chest, trying to get some distance between them. He had other ideas however, and leaned closer forcing her to arch back, over the desk. He kept going until her back was flush on the desk and he was lying on top of her. She felt every inch of him in this position. His hard erection pressed against her groin like a sword ready and willing.
His words were whispered with hurtful intend against her ear.
“So let’s start bartering, Clarissa.”
She opened her mouth to scream her frustration and hurt, but his head swooped down and he captured her lips, pushing his tongue deep, swirling, sucking and kissing her so passionately, she felt as if she was drowning.
Then his lips softened and turned tender, but still full of passion and she could do no less than kiss him back. His hands, which were holding her head still for his kiss, slowly started wandering down her throat, over her chest, softly caressing her full breasts.
His fingers found her hard jutting nipples and he tugged on them, groaned against her mouth, “You are wearing too many clothes!”
He pulled away from her and quickly found the small button that held the wrap over top in place. He groaned when he opened the top and bared her lace-covered breasts to his gaze. He made short work of the front clasp of her bra, she arched into his hands when they covered her bared breasts, softly kneading, stroking, and pulling. His eyes stayed glued on her face, fascinated with the different emotions flashing over her features.
He straightened, pulling her with him, and gathered her close in his arms, surprised to feel her nakedness against his own, but glad that her hands were not idle and that she had unbuttoned his shirt. He shrugged his jacket and shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the carpet.
His mouth found hers again, in a kiss meant to remove any resistance she might still harbor, but there was none. She could not resist him, nor did she have any desire to do so. His hands fell to her pants and in a flash her pants and panties were off and flung across the room. He kept his lips locked with hers and lifted her on his desk, pushing her legs apart to step between them and pulled her tight against him.
His hard shaft pulsing through his pants pressed against the core of her, flooding her insides and his pants with liquid fire. Her hands were all over him, she flattened her hands against his muscled chest, curling down his strong arms to stroke and caress over his back, pushing and rocking her hips against his in a silent plea.
He did not make her wait; he ripped his pants open and pushed it down with his jockeys, his lips closing around an aching nipple. She moaned and pushed deeper into his mouth and her moan turned into a keen when his fingers found her wet core between her legs. His groan echoed hers as the wetness of her juices warmed his fingers.
He pulled her legs further apart, surging forward and filled her so quickly and so deep, she gasped at the sudden heat scorching her. Then he started moving, hard and deep, faster and faster, her uncontrolled pleas urging him on, more, deeper, harder.
Lightning flashed behind her eyes, stars exploded in her head, her body surged tighter against his, urging him deeper and her whole body tightened around him, pulling him deeper into her. He heard her breathing stop, watched her face, the ecstasy of her climax so beautiful his heart tightened in his chest. He drove into her with almost desperation and her breath caught as she
crested the top of her climax, but shattered into pieces again when his fingers found her clit and he stroked it mercilessly, keeping her muscles contracting around him until he exploded inside her with such force it felt as if his blood flowed out with it.
His legs felt weak, he struggled to get his breathing under control and he rested his head on her shoulder. Clarissa kept stroking his back, completely replete and sated, not ready to let his body separate from hers.
Reality intruded and the sounds from behind the door penetrated her mind. She stiffened and pushed at Ray’s shoulders. He pulled away and wearily looked down at her. Her gaze worried his.
“Did I … the people outside! Oh, Lord Ray, did I scream again?” He laughed and kissed her hard, then pulled out of her.
“No, my love, you did not. Unfortunately … I do like those screams of yours.”
She hit his shoulder and started gathering her scattered clothes. Whilst she got dressed, she watched him covertly. He dressed quickly, efficiently and then stood watching her. When she kept struggling with the button of her top, he pushed her hands away and flipped it in place.
“You lost weight.”
His observing eyes noticed the leaner legs and hips. She turned away from him and walked towards the window.
“I’ve had an upset tummy for a few weeks, but it’s better now.”
She did not notice his start at her words, or the slow grin that curved around his mouth. Remembering what he said earlier, she swung around, walked up to him and slapped him. Anger reverberated through her.
“Barter! You jerk! How dare you!” He favored his stinging cheek, his eyes inscrutable.
“Guess I deserved that.”
At her snort, he sighed and followed her stomping back to the window where she swung around again and glared at him.
“I want to clear the air. I deserve an opportunity to defend myself.”
His eyebrow shot to his hairline. “You deserve? You deserved exactly what you got, my love! Don’t forget, you chose!”
“Yes, I did, and maybe you are right, I deserved what I got, but do I have to be punished for the rest of my life? You accused me of something that I have been trying to understand since the first day I ran into you, without you once allowing me to defend myself! Even a murderer on trial has more rights than that!”
His hand ran through his hair, his eyes inscrutable. He swung around to stand in front of the window, staring out to the city below. He felt her presence behind him and it took all his resolve to turn back to her, his voice firm but apologetic at the same time.
“I have been told the truth about that in the meantime …”
“What truth? That I slept my way into Princeton? That I used you to get where I am today, or that I knew who you were to the Princeton group before we even met!”
“All of those are connected I suppose.”
“You suppose! You have been giving me hell on untruths!”
His lips drew in a straight line and his eyes scorched her with anger building inside him.
“What the hell else was I supposed to believe? Your actions alone belied your continuous declarations of love! It was the only thing that made sense!”
“What thing? What exactly is it that I supposedly did that made you hate me so much?”
Her voice was soft and quivered with hurt. The look in his eyes was intense, and he didn’t answer for so long, she sighed. He ran his hands over his eyes tiredly, and she noticed for the first time the haggard look on his face.
“My mother and … Miguel told me that you slept with Henry Scott to get the job … I didn’t want to believe it, so four and a half months after you left I went to London to confront him with it. He confirmed it, took great pleasure in rubbing it in, even that you met in between as well …”
The shock on her face, the paleness of her skin appeared stark against the red spots of anger on her cheeks. She drew in a deep breath, tears burning behind her eyelids.
“Henry Scott … the Personnel Director? That is a lie! I only met him twice, the first time for the first interview and the second with the Managing Director, David Hammond.” A forlorn sob escaped her lips and her distressed gaze swung to his.
“How could you even believe that, Raymond? You knew how much I loved you … how could you think that I ever would give myself to someone else when my heart, soul and my body only belonged to you!”
“Because you left! Your love for me could not withstand the lure of the great and mighty Princeton Group! You made a decision in a flash of an eye, Clarissa! You threw my love in my face! It was the only thing that made sense! Even after Cecile told me the tale, I believed you would realize you made a mistake … that you loved me more. I waited for months; you never once made any contact … that is when the doubt took over.”
Clarissa shook her head. “I couldn’t … I could not take the hate and loathing in your voice. The night I phoned you before I left … my heart shattered and I promised myself I would survive, locked my heart against you, but it didn’t work. I came back within four months, realizing I made a mistake and that my life meant nothing without you in it, but you were in your office, kissing Linda …”
“Linda was dy …” She stopped him with her fingers on his lips.
“I know, Miguel told me everything. But I did not at the time and I was devastated. I believed you never really loved me and went back to the Caribbean, and worked like a demon to forget you. I can’t tell you how it hurt to realize you had a child with someone else … and so soon after …”
He sighed, but did not touch her. There were still too many things to iron out.
“Linda wanted to be married and have a child before she died; a legacy so to speak, a continuance of her. I could not bring myself to marry her, and did not even entertain her desire for me to father her child at first, until the day Henry Scott told me his story, and the day after that when I received your engagement ring in the mail … that is when I committed to giving her a child.”
“You made love to her …”
“Once … that very same night, after I got your ring back … I got debilitatingly drunk … told myself if you could do it, so could I. The next morning I hated myself. It was not fair to Linda and I told her so, and that I could not do it again. Fortunately, for her, she got pregnant from that one time. She died within six months’ of Robby’s birth. It is the one good thing that came from all of this … my son.”
She nodded her head, Robby was such a dear child, and no one could help but love him … not even her.
“Who told you the truth about Henry Scott?”
“Miguel, not so long ago and regretted that it took him so long to do it. He found out the truth three years ago, but it was just after we reconciled and he didn’t want to alienate me so soon.” He caught her gaze with a direct stare.
“I am sorry for everything I said, you didn’t deserve that, but at the time, it was the truth as I knew it.”
“Does that mean you forgive me then?” His jaw tightened at her softly uttered question.
“You still left, Clarissa. That much is still the truth, and that didn’t change. You turned me into something I never thought I’d be, hard, merciless and ruthless.”
“You … have been with many other women. Why did you not … marry any of them?”
His eyes shadowed his feelings and he grinned. “Jealous were you?”
“I … you made it clear you had sex with many others … I cannot deny that it hurt to hear that … especially as I never …”
“You never what?”
“When I told you it has only ever been you, I was telling the truth. I have not made love to any other man since you.”
“What about Michaels?”
“He was keen to have a relationship, but I told him I was not interested. He was only a friend.”
The warmth that filled his heart shone in the slight smile around his mouth upon hearing that. He caught and held her gaze, honesty shining in their depths.
She nodded, lowered her eyes and bit her lip so hard it turned white. At least there were no meaningful relationships, this was a hurt brought on by her and she would have to work through it. Her gaze swung back to his.
“What letter?”
Raymond frowned at her sudden change of topic. If she did not know about the letter informing her of the contract not being renewed, what was she doing here?
“Are you honestly saying you did not receive my letter?”
“If I knew what letter you are referring to I would be able to tell you!”
He was confused enough to snarl at her. “The letter informing you, that I am not renewing your contract at the end of your current period.”
“You’re not renew … ing my con … tract?” She stuttered and paled. “That is why you … barter … you thought I was here to plead for … you insulting son of a bitch!” She swung her arm at his face again, but this time he caught her hand before it reached its target.
“Once I deserved, but I will not stand still for another! Then tell me, Clarissa! If you are not here to plead for your precious job, what are you doing here?” His eyes blazed fire at her, diminishing her anger and her nervousness ate at her heart.
She pulled her arm away, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Some of the misunderstandings were resolved but he was still hurt, he still did not trust her love for him.
He stood looking down at her, patiently waiting for her to find the right words. He saw her swallow, open and close her mouth, swallow again, before she turned to him. Her eyes rose to meet his and his breath caught in his throat.
“I came here to barter with you, Ray, but not for the job, for your heart. I have loved you from the first day we met, and I never stopped, not even after that day I saw you kissing … kissing Linda.”
Her eyes were clear and honest, the love there for him to see and he swallowed past the lump he felt in his throat. He kept quiet, allowing her the time to gather herself.
Cayman Desires Page 16
