by Lee Taylor
Mallory Buchanan hadn’t been gone two days and already I missed that gal. I missed the knowledge of her being there, just a few miles away on the other side of the mountain. She should be almost in Kentucky, if she took the most direct trail to Missouri.
Mally was the last of ‘em, God bless ‘er. With my husband, Jacob, gone five years now, alive or dead I had no way of knowing, and all my boys off to this war between the states or the western lands, I had a whole mountain to myself. I was used to loneliness, but this here went a mite too far.
“Well, Abigail Courtney, what you gonna do now?” My voice sounded strange. I was used to talking to the animals, but not much to myself.
I had the rest of the summer to answer my question. I needed to be off this mountain before winter, for I sure as shootin’ wouldn’t live through another one. Last winter had just about done me in. Mally had come over to help me drag in some firewood. Said she had thought about me, and wondered how I was, so left off nursing her sick mother and come to see if I was still kickin’.
The wood had froze to the ground, complements of an ice storm, and we hacked at it until we had enough broke loose I could rebuild my fire. It had gone out two days before, and I hadn’t been able to cook or keep warm. I had finally decided I was going to have to pull down some of the barn siding, when she came.
When Mally and her mom had been next door, we women would get together to do the heavy lifting and hauling. Now they were gone. Although I didn’t need them at the moment, I sure would later on. Should I even try to keep farming through the summer? Sooner or later I was gonna have to leave.
The mountain farm had been my home ever since my man Jacob had brought me here as a new bride, and tears watered my eyes at the thought of leaving it. He’d built it strong to withstand the mountain storms. A strong house for a strong man. It had stood against the storms for many years, but things needed done to it that a woman couldn’t rightly do. There’d been a few shingles blown off and the door didn’t quite close snug anymore, so the wind howled as it passed through. Two windows needed repair, and a new post put on the porch roof.
Also, I’d lived here so long, I figured the rest of the world had passed me by whilst I was raising my brood. I had no idea what the world was like, apart from the small settlements at the base of the mountains.
I had me a dilemma. I was too old to pick up and move out and too young to stay. I was still in my forties. A woman needs a man, just as a man needs a woman. But I was too old to put up with another man—and didn’t want to—and too young to want to live alone any longer.
The breeze blowing past was cooler than before and I looked over that way at some gathering clouds, black and billowing.
“Storm blowin’ up and you ain’t got yer pigs in. Or the cow milked. Best rustle along and get things rounded up.”
Trouble was, I was tireder than a three-legged mule with the field only half-way plowed. I’d been trying to cut fence poles with a dull axe. When the raiders come last winter, one of them had relieved me of my whet stone. There’s nothing more dangerous than a dull axe, for it tends to bounce rather than cut. You had to swing it harder to dent the wood, and if it bounced onto your leg, you landed yourself in a heap of trouble.
I had walked over to Mally’s old house yesterday and gathered a few of the blankets she’d left. Mally had also left a sharp axe, along with a good whetting stone, and I latched onto them like a tick onto a dog. First thing this morning I’d taken that stone to my tools, sharpening my hoe, my knife, my axe and my sickle. Then I’d whacked away at the trees with great zeal, got several poles cut and blisters to show for them.
The cow bawled and I forced myself to move. I grabbed my bucket with the big dent in it where she’d put her foot last week, and took it down to where she was waiting impatiently.
Old Aggie was standing next to the milking station, ready to have her grain while I milked.
“Too bad, old girl. There ain’t any more.” I had some, but I needed it for seed.
I wiped her udder down with an old rag, straightened up the one-legged milking stool, put the bucket between my knees and commenced to milk.
I put my head in her flank while I watched the milk shoot into the bucket, a hard shot of milk with each squeeze. Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. The rhythm was always soothing. I did my best thinking, milking cows.
Jacob used to give our cats milk, a squirt to their open mouths. I had never perfected the art. Also, our cats were all gone, probably eaten by the wolves. Even our ole hound dog, the one Jacob had trained, had passed away last fall.
I missed that dog. He was a good hunter. Jacob would take him out and bring back meat every time. Sometimes ducks. Sometimes deer. With Jacob gone, that dog would still go out and bring me back a quail or a duck. He’d just hunt on his own. I never had to feed him.
I had hid Old Aggie all during the war, taking her down into a hidden root cellar and staying with her while the raiders passed through. I’d hear ‘em comin’ and have just enough time to grab Aggie’s collar and hurry her over to the cellar. They’d stole my chickens and ridden over my young corn. Of the rest of the animals, only the pigs survived, hiding in the tangled brush as pigs know how to do. I didn’t even have a gun to defend myself if they’d have found me.
I’d been living on Aggie’s milk for many days now. I had no mule, but I wondered if maybe I could get her to pull a plow, just enough to put in the last of my seed grain that I’d refused to eat. I had been able to train her pretty quick to lead with that collar, which was just a strap around her neck.
This farm needed a man. Mine had all skedaddled. You’d think a woman who had raised five strapping boys would have had at least one stay to help her. But they wouldn’t stay. Each had gotten bit by the wandering bug, and when the restlessness was too great, they’d pack a kit, promise to come back, and vanish down the trail. The first two had left within a month of Jacob’s leaving, and later that year, when Paralee turned sixteen, he took off too.
I stripped the last milk out onto the ground, picked up my bucket and kicked the milk stool over by the gate.
The bucket was only half full, but it would supply my wants. Aggie trotted out into the pasture, and like all cows, promptly put her head through the fence to check out the grass on the other side. I’d been repairing that fence, and she seemed to be able to find the weak spots and work on it until she pushed it down again.
I’d gotten most of the poles put back up, but needed some new posts. Until then, I really didn’t have a way to keep her inside, except she wasn’t much to wander far. But I had to have a fence up before I put in any crops, because she would eat them right down to the nubbin.
I took the milk back to the house, poured it through a cloth into a bowl, covered it with another cloth and put it in the cooler. Jacob had made the cooler by running a hollow log from our spring so that water would drip over a tin container he’d bought from some ship that was being outfitted in Norfolk. He was always so good with his hands. The water kept the sides cool. I loved that cooler, especially during the summer. Everything stayed fresh.
Then I went back to the pasture to get Aggie and the pigs. Aggie walked into the barn with no trouble, but the pigs didn’t want to go in, ducking and dodging until I finally just closed the barn door and hoped those pigs would have enough sense to take shelter when the storm hit.
I pulled my rocker inside and shoved my shoulder against the cabin door just as the storm front hit, slamming into the side of the hill like it was trying to whallop me one. I barely got the bar dropped. It brought heavy rain with it, and I prayed that Mally was off the mountain where she was supposed to be.
The chill entered the room something fierce, and I built me a fire, small, but it gave off some heat and I put the kettle on to fix me some coffee. Once I was the only one cutting and splitting the firewood, I wasn’t so generous with the size of the fires. Putting on a coat was easier than cutting down a tree.
I’d had to cut up some
of my fence poles for firewood during the deep snow. I’d need to cut wood all summer long to have enough to last the winter again. How was I to do that and also tend a crop?
If I left here and went down into the settlements, what would I do? With the war over, there would only be widows there, a few broken soldiers, and ruined farms. The war hadn’t landed lightly on the South.
That night I read my Bible as I always did, hoping for comfort. And I prayed for guidance. I surely needed it. I was afraid if I left, and the boys come looking, they wouldn’t be able to find me.
The next morning I milked Aggie, then decided to go down the mountain to see who had survived and if there were anyway I could wrangle help for myself. I was looking for an old man, or some youngster who had been too young for the war, who could come up when I needed plowing done. Just how I’d pay for the help, I had no way of knowin, but a person didn’t know until they asked.
‘Bout then the pigs showed up. They’d probably burrowed in the bush when the storm went by. I looked at them and realized that, if nothing else, I could trade a pig for work done.
Before going down to the settlement, I put on my best dress. My work dress had so many holes in it, patched over, that it resembled the patchwork quilt I’d taken apart to mend it with.
The settlement down in the closest holler was gone, the tiny store burned to the ground and the house with it. The other three houses were empty and you could tell no one had lived in them for awhile. I walked around and called, but no one answered. I could walk on to the next village, somewhat larger, but I’d have to hurry. It was almost noon and I needed to get back to milk Aggie tonight.
The road between the two wasn’t as rough as my mountain path, and I walked as fast as I could, forcing myself to cover the distance. Twenty miles. I was probably on a fool’s errand.
From the ridge above I could see no movement and just about didn’t go down. Then a whip of smoke rose—or was it fog?
There it came again, steady enough that it held the promise of a fire. And people.
I ran down into the holler looking for the source and finding a small cabin. It looked like it had been set on fire once, but the people who lived there had put it out, so only a smidgin was burnt.
“Hello, the house!” I called, walking up to it.
My long time friend, Jessica, stepped out, saw me and squealed. She was always thin as a fence post, and was even more so now. “Abigail!” She ran to me and we hugged. I hadn’t been down the mountain since fall, it being the war and all. It was a time to stay close to home.
“We thought you were dead,” she said.
“I will be if’n I have to work that farm alone. You got any help extra here with you?”
“Not really. Jest my husband, Simon. He’s out in the barn. He’s only got one hand, Abigail.”
“I remember. That’s why he didn’t go to war. You had you a boy—”
She shook her head. “The Battle of Nashville. He was in Hood’s army. I got his hat back and some of his letters, but he was amongst the first killed there. Your boys?”
I shook my head. “I’ve no idea. I ain’t seed hide nor hair of ‘em for three-four years.”
“Come in and rest.”
“Cain’t. Got to go home and milk Aggie. I came to see who was left. I don’t reckon I kin work that farm by myself. Was hoping I could hire someone to come help me now and then. I got me a pig I’d trade.”
“You live up next to ol’ stone face don’tcha? The one that looks like a man with a beard?”
“Yes’m.”
“I’ll ask Simon if he kin go up once in a while. That’s a fur piece to walk and still have time to put in a day’s work. The men are still coming back, Abigail. Maybe one of them boys of yours will return.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not bettin’ on it.”
“I thought the Buchanans lived the other side of you.”
I told her how the missus Buchanan got sick and just gave up on life, and when the mister got home and she died soon after, he shot himself. I said how Mally had left once her folks were gone. “Mally was a good shot. Me, I let the boys do all the shooting. I can’t hit the broad side of a barn when it’s sitting in front of the barrel. So I cain’t hunt for food.”
“Have you tried trapping?”
I nodded. “Mally showed me how and I’ve caught some rabbits. Could I possibly get a hen from you? I’d pay, once I knew what you’d take in return.”
“The raiders killed our flocks, but I have a goose you could have. It was a baby when the rest were killed and I hid it in the brush when the thieves came by.”
“I couldn’t take your only—”
“Simon is going to go get us some chickens and more geese once the crop is planted. You take that there goose back with you. She will walk right along if you put a cord round her neck.”
“Then, thank you.”
Things were looking up. Jessica brought out a long cord and we put a loop around that goose’s neck and tied it with a bowline knot, so’s not to choke her.
My time was short, so Jessica walked to the top of the ridge with me and we said our goodbyes there. We used to see each other once a week at meeting time. I didn’t even know if the church was still standing, and neither did she. Jessica and I hugged again, and I walked the goose home.
She squawked and waddled, grabbing a bite to eat now and then as we traveled. Maybe the mountain wouldn’t be so lonely with her nearby, honking at me. A good goose was better than a watchdog, for it can make an awful clamor when it’s aroused.
I kept feeling the rocks under my shoes, and when I stopped to rest, I looked at the hole that was forming there. I wondered if the whites of a goose egg would act like glue, the way the whites of a chicken egg did. I was going to try it, for egg white sure did hold well. Jacob had used it all the time.
One more thing needing fixing. I could feel the weight bearing down on me.
It was well past dark when I arrived home, as the goose slowed me down. I’d spent the last half-hour kickin’ the side of the trail to find it, as it was worn down in the dirt, forming a small ditch. I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it, and I’d made it home many a times like this.
I expected Aggie to be bawling at me for neglecting her so long. But she was quiet, not waiting at the fence.
I stopped. Something warn’t right.
A light went on in the cabin and I backed away into the brush, pulling the goose with me. I tied her to a small sapling, then moved over to a stand of trees where I could see into the cabin. I couldn’t leave her tied up for long, or the critters would git her, but she was too noisy to take with me.
Someone was inside and the bulk of the body made it look to be a man. I warn’t expectin’ no man.
I went back past the goose, skirted the cabin on the far side and entered the barn. My lantern hanging there had been lit, and I poked my head in, cautious like.
A horse stood in a stall, unsaddled. I’d never seen it before, munching away on the grain I’d been so carefully saving. Angry, I went further into the barn, looking around. Next to the saddle hung a blanket, Union blue. As far as I knew, my boys had all joined the Confederates.
What in tarnation was I goin’ to do? Hide until he left? Yet...what if it were one of my boys?
If it were a stranger, he’d know someone lived here. A cow left unmilked will get milk fever or go dry. He’d be able to tell, from the size of her udder, that she’d been milked this morning. And that there’d been a fire in the fireplace last night.
Maybe I should go over to Mally’s house and spend the night there. It was pitch dark now, and I’d probably break my neck on the rough trail, but I didn’t want to face a man alone, with no gun.
Suddenly a dog barked, startling me, and as I backed up, it charged around the corner and into the barn. I turned to run, but it caught my dress in its teeth and tore it. It was the size of a wolf, and I backed away to where the pitchfork leaned against the side of the barn and gra
bbed it with both hands.
“I wouldn’t do that,” a man said. He walked though the door with a pistol in his hand.
“Abigail?” he said.
I looked at this stranger with his long beard and Jacob’s voice. After five years? Could it be?
“Jacob?”
He put the pistol away. “Yes. Down, Barney. Sit.”
The dog sat immediately. My legs felt so weak I almost joined him.
“Sorry about him. He’s still young. Aggie was waiting when I got here. I milked her and hoped you hadn’t got yourself hurt, since you wouldn’t have left her uncared for. I figured you’d gone to the Buchanan’s and were just late getting back.”
“I went to the settlements. Got me a goose.”
He nodded. “Where are the boys?”
“Grown and gone.”
“Even Razzel?”
“Yes. They didn’t stay any better ‘n you.” I didn’t intend to accuse him of neglect, but it came out that way, and thinking of it, he had.
“Did you get yourself another man? I wouldn’t blame you.”
“No.” Jacob had always been man enough for me. It was just that he had to see what was on the other side of the hill.
“You done with your seeing?” I asked him. He had grown older, there was a touch of gray in his beard, but he still had the size to fight a bear if he came across one. My boys were all like him, big men who could handle life. I could only hope they’d handled the war.
“There’s another ocean out there,” he said, his voice glowing with remembrance, “past some plains and some mountains. When I got to it, I turned around. Was coming home when a war got in the way.”
“You come to stay?” I wanted him to. Oh, how I wanted him to.
“No.”
My heart fell. It was as I expected, the wanderlust would never leave him. I felt like all the gumption had plumb gone out of me. He’d never settle down until he died and got buried in some foreign land.
