Tamara’s still at my side, staring at Uncle Earl like she’s debating if it’s a good idea to leave us alone.
“Come on, baby. They’ll be fine. Uncle Earl will bore him to death, but he’s otherwise harmless.”
Tamara leans forward, bringing her mouth next to my ear. “Is it okay if I leave you?”
I turn my head, our lips almost touching. “Go, princess. I’ll be fine, but you keep using that language, and we’ll have to leave the party early.”
Her eyes twinkle with glee. She knows what she’s doing. She always does. She’s a tease, but in the end, we both come out satisfied.
“Earl, behave,” Clara warns before she heads toward the house, with Tamara, Ruth, and Max not far behind.
Anthony leaves too, wandering toward Denzel, who’s seated a few tables away.
“It’s all an act,” Earl tells me, lifting his beer. “The older I get and the crazier I act, the more they leave me alone. The women in this family can drive a man around the bend, but if you act like you’re only half there, life’s easier.”
I laugh and raise my beer bottle. “I like your style, sir.”
“So, soldier, where did you serve?”
“I was stationed at SouthCom near Miami and did a few deployments to Afghanistan.”
Earl bristles. “I served in Korea. A war that’s often forgotten, but the devastation to the military was tremendous.”
I wince, knowing that even though war is war, I never would’ve wanted to trade places with him. I’d known a few veterans from Korea, and many of them never wanted to talk about their service. It wasn’t that they weren’t proud, but the memories of what they’d lived through were painful for them to relive, even if only through words.
“I’ve heard the horror stories, sir. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you.”
“Back then, the units were segregated.”
“They were?” I ask, shocked and appalled. “I thought that ended after the Second World War.”
He shakes his head. “Sure, the law changed. Truman signed the order, but the commanders in the field had other ideas. Times were different then, son.”
“I can’t imagine living in a world where we’re divided by color, especially when we’re all willing to die for the same nation that’s divided us.”
Earl shakes his head. “We did what we had to do for the nation we loved, which didn’t always love us back.”
“I’m sorry,” is the only thing I can say, even though it’s not my fault.
“Don’t be. You weren’t the asshole commander sending the young men to be slaughtered, thrust out first to be sacrificed.”
I wince at the reality he lived. “No, but they still don’t care. We’re just a number sometimes, a warm body able to hold a gun. It was my greatest honor to serve my country, but the nightmares of the things I saw still follow me.”
“They’ll always haunt you. Always. You just have to learn to realize your nightmare made the lives of others better. You sacrificed a piece of your sanity for the people who are sitting around you today, happy and oblivious.”
“Everyone?” I ask, ticking my chin toward Anthony, Tamara’s dad.
“Even him. I like that man. Liked him since the day I met him. He’s been good for my little Maxie. I’ll never admit it to his face, but I’m thankful he came into her life when he did. She was in a dark place, and he gave her life again,” Earl says.
Someday, I’ll learn the story there, but it isn’t my place to ask or Uncle Earl’s story to tell.
An hour later, Tamara’s at my side again, a plate full of food that looks so good I know I’ll need more than one workout to burn the calories. “Gran made this plate just for you,” she says sweetly before setting the dish in front of me. “She said you’ll need your energy to keep me under control.” Tamara winks. “If she only knew.”
I pull her into my lap, kissing her cheek and neck, tasting the salty sweetness of her skin. “I love you, princess, and I love your family too. Both sides. All of them.”
Tamara’s smile widens. “You love my families?”
“I do. You’re so lucky and blessed.” I wrap my arms around her, nuzzling into her neck. “So fucking lucky to have them all in your life.”
“They’re in your life too now, Mammoth. You’re not alone anymore. I hope you’re ready for a lot of family dinners and reunions, because my family doesn’t just catch up at holidays and funerals. This is your last chance to run.”
I touch her chin, holding her gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve never felt more at home, at peace, than I do when I’m with you.”
“I love you,” she whispers back. “And I never thought I’d say that to anyone until I met you.”
I know then I’m home. My life of wandering no longer appealed to me.
I want roots.
I want a place to call home.
I want family.
I want Tamara Gallo forever.
23
Tamara
One Month Later…
Things are still going strong. Mammoth’s been patient, teaching me, molding me, awakening a sexual part of myself I never knew existed.
If someone would’ve asked me two months ago if I’d be okay submitting to a man, being told what to do, not only in the bedroom but at other times, I would’ve told them to fuck right off with their nonsense.
But I would’ve been wrong. Dead fucking wrong.
There is a power and a freedom in letting go. I no longer worry about pleasing him, questioning what he likes or what he wants. He tells me, making perfectly clear his desires.
I’ve never felt used or abused, only loved and adored. Sure, he’s bossy, but I push back, earning some punishments just for the fun of it.
I’d talked with Aunt Izzy about how she handles her relationship with James, especially since she’s one of the strongest women I know. She laid it out for me, explaining the power I hold even as a submissive. She changed my view, putting things into perspective for me.
I like being cared for. I love that Mammoth does everything he can to make me happy, giving me pleasure and looking out for my well-being. Sure, I fuck up a lot, and he seems to understand, but I always end up with a red ass in the end.
The spankings are the best, though. Who the fuck would’ve guessed I liked the sting of his palm before the pleasure of his fingers? I sure as fuck wouldn’t have.
For the first time in a long time, I am excited for the future. I no longer give two fucks if someone looks at us funny, only caring how Mammoth looks at me. The issues people have with us being a couple is their problem, not mine.
I am loved. That’s all that matters. Loved by a good man who respects my family and is openly embraced. Maybe not by Uncle James, but even he’s softened up a bit on Mammoth, realizing I am right where I want to be with the man I want to be with. Uncle James has to relent sometime. No one holds anything over his head about what he does in the bedroom with Aunt Izzy, not even Thomas, who is James’s best friend.
“Princess, we’re late. What the hell is taking you so long?” Mammoth asks from the other side of the bathroom door as I apply one last coat of mascara.
I stare at my reflection, soaking in the new version of me. The happier one who’s more comfortable in my skin than I’ve ever been before. Mammoth’s done that. I’ve never felt as home as I do when I’m with him. I feel a sense of belonging and purpose with him at my side.
“We have a reservation at eight, and the party won’t wait for us.”
“I thought we were going for drinks?” I yell back, running my finger over my red lipstick, smoothing it out across my bottom lip.
“No, princess, we’re going to the club.”
My eyes widen as I gasp, dropping the mascara wand to the counter and running to the door. “You mean a sex club?” I ask, opening the door quickly, almost knocking myself over.
Mammoth laughs, leaning against the wall, looking so handsome, I almost don’t want to l
eave. Almost. But he said sex club, and I’ve been begging to go to one since I found out he was in the lifestyle.
“I got us passes for the weekend and filled out all the paperwork, getting us approved. Had to pull a few strings, but we’re in if you’re game.”
“I’m game.” I throw myself into his arms, peppering his handsome face with red kisses. “I’m totally game.”
He gropes my ass, grinding his hard cock into me. “Then finish up and let’s jet. We have a big night ahead of us.”
“I’m ready.” I push past him, but he catches me by the arm, gently pulling me backward.
“You’re missing something.”
“What?” I ask, glancing down at my outfit, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.
He slides his hand into his front pocket, fishing out something from inside. When he opens his palm, there’re two thick silver bracelets. “I’m not into collars, but these are necessary for tonight. They’ll be enough to let everyone know you’re taken. My name’s carved on each one, leaving no question of who you belong to.”
My insides quiver and my stomach flips. This is official and a big fucking deal in the BDSM world. I know that much, studying my ass off and learning everything I can when I find time in between reading for classes. “They’re so beautiful,” I whisper, holding out my wrists immediately, wanting nothing more than to wear his mark.
“They’re more than decoration, princess. They’re a commitment.”
“I know. I’ve never wanted anything more than this.”
Mammoth’s smile is easy and immediate. “I promise to give you a night you’ll never forget.”
“I promise to give you a life you’ll always want to remember,” I tell him, knowing the future is full of nothing but possibilities.
I gaze down, watching as he closes the bracelets around my wrists, locking them. Each one has a tiny loop, but for what purpose, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway. They’re a work of art and a gift from Mammoth, the first one I’ve ever received.
His hands stay around my wrists, covering the silver bracelets. “Ready, princess?”
“I think so.” I swallow, realizing we aren’t playing anymore.
He slides his hands up my arms, resting them on my shoulders, caressing my skin to soothe my shaky nerves. “You’ll do fine. Just remember the things we’ve gone over. Things we’ve practiced. Everything you’ve learned.”
“I’ll do my best.” My insides are a mess. I’ve been begging him to take me to a club for over a month, and now that he’s finally made it possible, I wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake.
He ticks his head toward my bedroom. “I left an outfit for you on your bed. Put it on and then we’ll go.”
“You bought me clothes?” I blink, wondering who this man is and where’s Mammoth?
His hungry gaze travels down the black cocktail dress I’d picked out especially for tonight. “You need something a little more accessible.” He smirks, and my insides liquefy. When I don’t move right away, too stunned that he not only bought me clothes, but slutty clothes, he pats me on the ass and barks, “Now, get that sweet ass moving. I’m only patient for so long.”
I don’t hesitate again. I’m out of his grip, rushing into my bedroom. I stop dead when I see the outfit laid out on the bed for me. Slutty? Yes. But freaking tasteful, if that’s such a thing.
The miniskirt is simple, white, and short as fuck. If it covers my ass cheeks, it’ll be a freaking miracle. The tube top is cute and white too, without much material, but enough to cover my breasts. Then there’re the shoes. Nothing fancy. No high heels. They’re sandals which kind of throws me. They’re not the shoes I’d wear with an outfit like this, but from what I’ve read, most of the girls are barefoot. Either way, he picked this out for me, and if it’s going to get him to bang my brains out until I’m incoherent, I’ll freaking wear it all day long.
“Leave your underwear off,” he says, and I chuckle to myself because I haven’t worn underwear since middle school.
Changing takes me less than two minutes. It’s not hard when I’m only putting on scraps. When I step into the hallway, Mammoth’s leaning against the wall, eyes trained on my doorway, waiting patiently.
He hums his appreciation as his gaze glides up and down my body. His eyes blaze with so much hunger and heat, I know he likes how the outfit looks on me. He’s always been a fan of my body, making sure I know it at every opportunity. He doesn’t waste any time, taking my hand, and leading me toward the door.
As soon as we’re in the living room, Gigi looks up from the couch, her eyes raking over me before widening. “What kind of restaurant are you going to?”
Pike glances my way, almost choking on his tongue, not out of lust, but shock. “Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath as he shakes his head, going back to looking at his phone.
“Don’t wait up,” I tell her, ignoring her question. “We’ll be late.”
“It’s your long weekend home, Tam. I thought we’d all hang out.” She gives me a faint smile, disappointed that I’m ditching her for some dick.
“Tomorrow, Gigi. I promised Mammoth tonight, but tomorrow, the four of us will do something fun.”
“Lily too,” Gigi adds because I keep forgetting she’s in town instead of away at school.
“Lily too, but the girl better be ready to party.”
“She’s a totally different person,” Gigi tells me. But I’ve known my cousin my entire life, and Lily’s always been as straitlaced as they come.
Mammoth tightens his hand on my waist, a cue for me to wrap it up without sounding rude. “We’ll figure it out then. We’re off. Wish me luck.” I smile nervously, toying with the bracelets, and Gigi’s eyes narrow in on my new jewelry.
“Sweet Jesus,” she mutters, waving at me as I rush toward the door, not wanting to answer too many questions right now.
“We’re taking your car, princess. Give me the keys.”
I hand them over, not even thinking twice, because my hands are shaking so badly, I’m not sure I could drive without causing a wreck. Mammoth takes the keys before opening the car door for me. “Your night of pleasure awaits.”
This may not be a coach and I’m sure as hell no Cinderella, but I do feel like a pampered princess and the luckiest woman in the world.
I barely speak as we wind through traffic, making our way to downtown Tampa in record time. Mammoth doesn’t drive slowly on a bike, and it’s no different in a car.
By the time we’re in the parking lot of the club, the jitters I had earlier have turned into a full-on, body-shaking anxiety attack.
“Baby,” Mammoth says as I hunch over my legs, breathing so fast, I think I might pass out. “Maybe we shouldn’t.” He rubs my back, soothing me, letting me freak out.
“No.” I inhale, closing my eyes, trying to calm down. “I want this.”
“When you walk through those doors, pretend you’re a different person. This is the one time in your life you don’t have to think. I won’t let you fail. I won’t let anyone touch or hurt you. This is about us, your pleasure, your experience. But if you want to leave, we’ll go. Just say ‘boat’ at any time, and I’ll take you home.”
I take two more deep breaths, squeezing my hands together, knowing I want this. He’s right. I don’t have to think. For once, I can let go and be free. No one knows me inside those walls. The only thing that matters is us. I’m all about new experiences, and nothing usually rattles my cage. Tonight shouldn’t be any different.
I straighten my back, slowly opening my eyes. “I’m ready.”
“Tonight, we’ll watch others and, if you’re comfortable, maybe get a private room.”
I nod, not speaking, knowing he hasn’t given me permission. It’s easier this way. The less I have to talk tonight, the better.
He’s out of the car a second later, rounding the back.
“You can do this.” I take one last deep breath before the car door opens and Mammoth’s han
d appears.
I don’t even stumble as I climb out of the car, hooking my arm in his. I’m doing this. We’re doing this. I’m about to step into a world I don’t fully comprehend but am dying to know more about.
“Good evening, Sir,” a man says when we walk through the front doors and into a dark, lush foyer. “Name?”
“Good evening,” Mammoth replies, handing the man two passes. “Reservation is under Saint.”
When the man gazes at me, I immediately tip my head, staring at the floor.
“You can leave her shoes with me unless you’d like her to keep them on.”
“You can hold them,” Mammoth tells the man before dropping to one knee and carefully removing my sandals. The cement is cool under my feet but not cold. A welcome sensation because I’m almost sweating from being so nervous.
“Enjoy your evening.”
“Thank you.” Mammoth slides his arm back around me. “Come on, princess. I’m about to rock your world,” he whispers in my ear, sending goose bumps scattering everywhere.
24
Mammoth
There’s something about being surrounded by a large family, even one that’s not my own, to put things into perspective. I never looked at my life like I’d lacked anything, but after being with the Gallos, I know I was robbed.
Maybe if I’d had a family like this, I wouldn’t have felt as lost when I left the service, and I’d never have ended up with the Disciples. I wouldn’t be under their thumb, doing their dirty work for God knows how long. Things would’ve been different. I would’ve been different.
Looking around the room, I can see the love these people have for one another. Sure, they fight like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day, they’d all take a bullet for one another.
I want what they have, and since meeting Tamara, I’ve been welcomed into the family by everyone, even her parents. After they gave me half a chance, they saw a change in their daughter. She is more settled, probably feeling some of the same way I did once I found her. She is like a tether, anchoring me to something more than myself and giving me purpose.
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