by Ariel Tachna
Ramakrishnan and Susheela made a point of speaking English so Trent could understand them, but the discussion was all around updating Nik on the doings of his various cousins. They may as well have been speaking Malayalam for all Trent could participate in the conversation.
The traffic slowed. Trent craned his neck to see what the cause was. In the middle of the road, he saw a huge gray elephant being guided by a man in a brightly colored lungi.
“Elephants? I expected cows, but not elephants.”
“You won’t see many cows wandering around in Kerala. People have them, but they don’t let them wander here the way they would in the north or in Hyderabad,” Ramakrishnan uncle said. “The elephants belong to the temples. With Chirappu starting, they’re taking them to bathe before the processions over the next few days.”
Trent shook his head. Elephants in the street. Nik hadn’t been kidding yesterday when he’d said they weren’t in Chicago anymore.
“Almost there,” Nik murmured. “We’re in Alappuzha. We just have to get to Thathampally, our neighborhood.”
“The main days of Chirappu don’t start until tomorrow, so traffic shouldn’t be too busy,” Susheela aunty said. “Tomorrow, though, you will hardly recognize the city. You remember, Nikhilesh.”
“I remember, aunty. Aysha, Reena, and I always looked forward to it. We’d eat so much sugarcane we’d get sick, and then we’d go back and do it again the next day,” Nik said with a smile. “Last I heard, Reena had moved back to Alappuzha after university. I wonder if Amma has any news from her mother.” He saw Trent’s confusion and explained, “Aysha and Reena were my best friends in school. We did everything together. I can’t tell you how many times I went to the mosque with Aysha or to church with Reena. And they always came to the temple with me for Chirappu. Reena’s mother gave Aysha and me Christmas presents along with her own children every year.”
“Leelavati used to worry about him getting in trouble with the girls,” Susheela aunty said to Trent. “It turns out he was safer with them than he would have been with boys his age.”
Trent blinked in surprise at the casual reference to Nik being gay. Nik’s parents accepted him and had been friendly to Trent when they visited, but he hadn’t expected the easy acceptance from the wider family, especially given the separate rooms they’d been assigned last night. He relaxed a little. Maybe the trip wouldn’t be a complete disaster after all.
“They were my best friends,” Nik said. “It never occurred to me to think of them any differently than I thought about Nandini.”
Trent knew that name. Nik’s sister was five years younger than him and had just finished medical school. If he remembered correctly, she was doing the Indian equivalent of a residency right now. He hadn’t met her, but Nik talked about her all the time.
“I had a friend like that,” Trent said. “Not that I have a sister to compare the relationship to.”
“Do you have brothers?”
“No, I’m an only child,” Trent said.
Susheela aunty tutted softly. “Did you warn him about your family, Nikhilesh?”
“I drew him a family tree and everything,” Nik said.
She tsked at him again. “I apologize in advance for everything. Our side of the family is bigger than Chechi’s side—Leelavati, I mean—but her side isn’t small either. If it gets to be too much, tell Nikhilesh, or if you can’t find him, tell me.” She turned to Nik. “Really, dropping your whole family on him at once when he isn’t used to large families. Are you trying to scare him off?”
Trent decided Susheela was his favorite aunt too.
“Of course not, aunty,” Nik protested, “but once I told Amma we were coming for a visit, nothing would do but to invite everyone. I haven’t been home in ten years.”
“And whose fault is that? Not Trent’s, but he’s the one who will have to survive the craziness.” She switched into Malayalam after that, a spate of sound so rapid he could barely distinguish one sound from the next. He’d already learned he wouldn’t be able to pick out words. Nik flushed beneath his dark skin, something Trent usually only saw when they were in bed, and reached for Trent’s hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said when Susheela aunty had finished her tirade. “Promise you’ll tell me if it gets to be too much?”
Trent really wanted to know what Nik’s aunt had said to make him look so sheepish, but he settled for squeezing Trent’s hand. “I promise.”
They crossed over a canal on a white stone bridge and Nik leaned over Trent to point out the window. “There’s the Jilla Cout Jama Masjid, and that’s the Sri Bhuvaneswari temple, and then next to it is St. Michael’s church. We’re almost there.”
“Were they fighting to have the most prominent place in town?” Trent asked.
“No, not at all,” Susheela said. “It’s just easier to celebrate together if we all worship in the same part of town.”
“Wait until Chirappu gets going tomorrow,” Nik said. “You’ll understand then.”
They turned off the main street onto a narrow, dusty road lined on both sides with fences and beautiful flowers. Nik hopped out of the car when his uncle stopped in front of a wrought-iron gate.
“This is Shankar chettan’s house,” Susheela said. “He and Leelavati chechi built it when they first got married. Nikhilesh, Nandini, and Nareshkumar grew up here. Normally Nikhilesh would live here with them as the youngest son, but with him settled in Chicago, Nandini is the only one at home now. She’s doing her medical surgeoncy. Did Nikhilesh tell you? We’re very proud of her, following in her father’s footsteps that way.”
“He mentioned she was studying medicine,” Trent said.
“Shankar chettan hoped one of his sons would go into medicine and take over his practice, but they both went into engineering. Then Nandini surprised everyone with her interest. She finished at the top of her class.”
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Trent said. “Nik talks about her all the time.”
NIKHILESH HELD the gate open as his uncle drove inside and parked, but he focused on the house—the house that would have been his if he’d stayed in India—instead. Seeing it again after ten years of being gone and six years of American architecture, it appeared smaller than he remembered, but nothing had changed. He could smell his mother’s flowers, and the tree where Reena always hung a Christmas star to go along with the garlands for Chirappu had gotten taller but still stood waiting for them to decorate it. He’d have to hang a star with Trent this year.
He closed the gate and started toward the house. He ought to wait for Trent, but he couldn’t. He was home. He made it halfway to the porch and caught sight of his grandfather sitting in a rocking chair with an imperious expression on his face. His footsteps faltered long enough for Trent to catch up with him.
“That’s my grandfather,” Nikhilesh murmured. “I didn’t think he’d be here already.” His parents had come to Chicago, and he’d talked with Nandini and Nareshkumar on the phone and via e-mail. They didn’t hate him for being gay and had urged him to come for a visit and to bring Trent. Nobody had answered him when he asked what the rest of the family thought. And now he had to face his grandfather without any preparation.
Fingers tingling with adrenaline, he climbed the steps to the porch and approached his grandfather with his hands in front of him. “Muthassan.”
His pulse raced as he waited for his grandfather to react. Would he take Nikhilesh’s hands and welcome him home or would he refuse to acknowledge him? Surely if he intended to repudiate him, he would have done so by his absence rather than being here to meet him.
“Nikhilesh.” Muthassan closed his hands over the backs of Nikhilesh’s and drew him closer. Nikhilesh bowed his head, fighting back tears, as Muthassan kissed his forehead. “You took your time coming home. Your mother missed you.”
The sudden surcease of tension left him trembling. “I’m sorry, Muthassan. It’s a long trip from Chicago.”
Muthassan humphed. �
�At least you didn’t come home alone.”
That was a demand for an introduction if Nikhilesh had ever heard one. “Trent, come meet my grandfather.”
Trent stepped forward with his hands in the position Nikhilesh had taught him. Muthassan wouldn’t reject Trent after the way he’d asked to meet him, but that didn’t mean he would approve once he met him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
Muthassan looked him up and down slowly and finally folded his hands over Trent’s. Nikhilesh let out the breath he’d been holding. “Shankar and Leelavati have been looking forward to your visit.”
The words were carefully neutral, but Nikhilesh took them as a good sign. He hadn’t refused to acknowledge Trent’s presence. Trent would win Muthassan over the same way he’d won over Nikhilesh’s parents. As long as Muthassan’s reticence didn’t scare Trent away.
“After all the stories Nik has told me, I’ve been looking forward to visiting.”
Muthassan closed a gnarled fist around Trent’s wrist and reached for Nikhilesh with his other hand. “Help an old man inside.”
“You’re not old, Muthassan,” Nikhilesh said even as he helped Muthassan to his feet. He kept his expression under control even though the words rattled him. Muthassan never used to ask for help. “You’ll outlive all of us.”
They settled Muthassan on the couch and Trent stepped back, hovering behind Nikhilesh. Muthassan tugged on Nikhilesh’s wrist to draw him closer. “Muthassan?”
“Do not deprive your mother of a wedding to plan.” He spoke Malayalam, so Trent wouldn’t have understood, but the words stunned Nikhilesh. They mirrored his deepest desire, if that was what Muthassan meant. Unless Muthassan wanted him to give Trent up and accept a girl of his parents’ choosing…. Amma and Achan wouldn’t do that to him after being willing to meet Trent in Chicago and to invite him for a visit, but Muthassan was the patriarch. If he didn’t give his approval, coming home again while he was alive would be unpleasant, if not impossible.
As he tried to figure out how to ascertain Muthassan’s meaning, the front door opened again as his mother came in, the tail of her blue and white sari trailing behind her. “Nikhilesh, you’re early!”
TRENT LET out a deep breath when Leelavati breezed in, breaking the tension that had hung over Nik and his grandfather. She clung to Nik for several moments, but as soon as she released him, she reached for Trent. He let her surround him in a perfumed embrace. He’d only met her for a few brief days in Chicago six months ago, but besides Nik, she was the only familiar face in the room. Her welcome settled him. Maybe Nik’s grandfather or his uncles and other relatives wouldn’t approve, but she did. He could weather the rest with her and Nik’s father in his corner.
“I meant to have lunch ready for you when you got here,” she told him, “but my lecture at the college just ended. Let me change clothes and I’ll heat everything up. Do you like shrimp?”
“I love shrimp, aunty,” Trent said. He still felt odd calling Nik’s mother aunty, but both she and Nik had assured him that calling her Mrs. Sharma was too formal and calling her by her first name was too informal. Nik called all his friends’ mothers aunty, so Trent had accepted it as another cultural difference and tried to move on.
“Good. Susheela was worried about what she’d cook for you last night, but I assured her you’d eat anything she made.”
“Even pavakka,” Nik said with a moue of disgust.
“That’s because he has good taste,” Leelavati said with another hug for Trent. “Take your things to your room, kutta. Trent will want to settle in before lunch, and your brother will be here soon with the children. We’ll want the boxes out of the way before they get here.”
They carried the suitcases into one of the bedrooms off the main room. The decoration was much simpler than at the house in Ernakulam, just a bed and dresser in the small space. “The bathroom’s through there,” Nik said. “Same setup as in Ernakulam except it’s my parents’ bedroom through the other door, so don’t forget to lock it when you’re in there.”
He was babbling. Trent didn’t know why, but he didn’t like it. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong out there?”
Nik shook his head. “No, it’s just….”
“Just what?”
Nik shook his head again. “Just something Muthassan said. It’s nothing.”
It clearly wasn’t nothing, but Trent wouldn’t get anything out of Nik when he was like this. He’d try again later when Nik had settled down some.
A burst of happy shouts in the living room drew their attention. “Nareshkumar chettan and his family must have arrived,” Nik said. “Come on. I’ll introduce you.”
Trent let Nik lead him back into the living room and the chaos of another four bodies in the relatively small house, even if one of them was an infant. Trent hung back while Nik greeted his brother and sister-in-law and his nieces, but it wasn’t long before Nik looked around for him and drew him into the conversation. “Trent, come meet my older brother. This is Nareshkumar.”
“Nice to meet you,” Trent said, holding out his hand. Nareshkumar shook it.
“Welcome to Alappuzha,” Nareshkumar said. “Nikhilesh talks about you often. This is Varsha, my wife, and my daughters, Swopna and Shilpi.”
Trent nodded at Varsha and bent down to talk to Swopna. “Hello, how are you?”
Swopna hid her face in the hem of her mother’s churidar.
“She hasn’t learned English yet,” Varsha said. “She won’t start school for another year.”
Trent stood up with a forced smile, feeling isolated once again. “I didn’t mean to scare her.”
“She’s shy by nature with anyone outside the family,” Varsha said. “She’ll come out when she’s ready.”
Trent kept his smile in place, but her comment stung. He wasn’t family, and the way things were going, he wasn’t sure Nik would ever want him to be.
Leelavati came back out of the bedroom in a loose caftan. She hugged Swopna, kissed the baby, and patted Nareshkumar’s shoulder. “Varsha, give the baby to Nikhilesh and come help me get the food ready. Nandini will be home soon, and she only has a short time for lunch.”
“Yes, Amma,” Varsha said. She handed her daughter to Nik and followed her mother-in-law deeper into the house. Before Trent could slink off to lick his wounds, Nareshkumar came up to him.
“Nikhilesh said you work together?”
“Yes, we’re both at Trustwave in Chicago. Nik works in threat management, and I do data security. And you’re an engineer, right?”
“Yes, in Thiruvananthapuram,” Nareshkumar said. “When Chirappu is over, you should come visit. You might be ready for a break by then. Amma has plans for the next few days.”
The way Nareshkumar said “plans” set Trent’s stomach to churning again. He swallowed hard, trying to bite back the panic welling in his chest, but he couldn’t find an easy way to retreat for a minute.
“Nikhilesh chettan!”
Trent watched a brightly colored blur race across the room.
“Careful, Nandini! I have the baby.”
“Well, give her back so you can give me a proper hug.”
Nik gave Shilpi back to her father and embraced his sister. She clung to him for a long time.
“No more staying away for ten years at a time. Do you hear me?” she said in a tearful voice. She switched to Malayalam after that. Nik hugged her tighter and buried his face in her hair. Trent looked at Nareshkumar for an explanation, but he didn’t offer one. Trent excused himself and went toward the bedroom.
Susheela aunty caught him before he could lock himself away until lunch. “Let me show you the garden. Chettan has many different plants and trees than we have in Ernakulam.”
Trent couldn’t figure out a polite way to refuse, so he followed her outside and retrieved his sandals before walking into the garden. Susheela pointed out the coconut and mango trees as well the pavakka vine. Trent started to relax finally in her
undemanding company.
“Nikhilesh went to university in Chennai, to IIT, the Indian Institute of Technology. Most university students come home in the summer or for holidays, but Nikhilesh never did,” she said suddenly.
“Why not?” Trent asked.
“He told us he was gay the week before he left. His parents had started making arrangements for Nareshkumar, and Nikhilesh overheard them speculating about possibilities for him as well. For after he finished university and had started working, of course, but Nikhilesh didn’t care. The conversation didn’t go well. He was upset, his parents were caught unprepared, and nothing was really resolved when he went away to university. He finished his degree and left for Northwestern a few days later. This is the first time he’s been home since then.”
“I had no idea,” Trent said. “His parents came to see him over the summer, and everything seemed fine.”
“Because everything is fine now,” Susheela said. “We’ve had ten years to grow used to the idea. There are concerns, of course, but they’re not all that different from any parents’ concerns for their children. They want him to be happy. They want him to settle down with someone who will be good to and for him. They want the same for Nandini, and they don’t want Nikhilesh’s choices in life to have a negative impact on her prospects. They have accepted Nikhilesh, but that doesn’t mean Nandini’s prospective in-laws would be as open-minded. It’s not an insurmountable hurdle, but it does complicate matters. It’s less of an issue with his cousins, but even then, it could come up. He knows all this, and it’s one of the reasons he’s stayed away. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that.”
“So do I make that better or worse?” Trent asked. “Not only is he gay, but he’s involved with an American.”
