“Sam, how would you feel about having a new father?”
Grace had been debating with herself for the past couple of hours, trying to decide how to best bring it up, but the words slipped out before she had decided on the best way to approach the topic.
“A new father? Why would I need a new father?”
Sam looked up at her inquisitively, causing Grace to shift in her seat. She hadn’t had any idea how Sam was going to take the news, but she certainly wasn’t expecting him to ask her that question.
“I was thinking it would be nice for both of us if I were to marry again. Then you would have someone to look up to, we would have someone who could take care of us, and maybe your nightmares would start to go away.”
Grace let her voice trail off, uncertain as to whether she ought to continue with her speech or not.
I don’t think he likes this idea. Maybe I should have said something before now.
“Well, what do you think?”
Sam sat silently on the bench beside his mother, still kicking his feet back and forth with the sway of the coach.
“I don’t think I want one, Mother. I miss the one that I had.”
He didn’t look at her as he spoke, and now he completely turned away, placing both of his elbows on the sill of the window and gazing out at the passing landscape. Grace felt at a loss for words. She wanted Sam to be happy, and she felt that marry Jasper was going to be the answer to that.
“Sam, I have a surprise for you.”
Sam turned again, his eyes wide with anticipation.
“We are moving to Montana!”
“What do you mean?”
Sam looked confused, even though his mother tried to make it sound very exciting.
“I mean, we aren’t going back home. We are going to get a new home. We are going to live with a very nice man, his name is Jasper. He owns a big house with a lot of land and all kinds of animals. Would you like that?”
A slow smile slowly crossed over Sam’s face, and he nodded.
“Golly! Do you think he has pigs? I’ve always wanted to have a pet pig.”
“I don’t know, Sam, but he has horses, and chickens… and a dog.”
Sam whistled under his breath and looked back out the window. A feeling of relief swept over Grace as she looked out of her own window.
He may not be ready to have a father, but he doesn’t seem to mind the idea of living with Jasper. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him I am getting married yet. Let him meet Jasper and see the animals, then I’ll tell him the news.
Feeling confident in her new plan, Grace started talking to Sam about the things they could see out the window. Although there was still that feeling of doubt in her stomach, Grace decided to ignore it.
Things were going to work out for them. They just had to.
“This is our final stop, Sam! What do you think?”
The stage rumbled to a stop outside of the post office. Sam had his head out the window, and his mother held onto his pants to keep him from slipping out of the stage and into the street.
“There’s a lot of people on horses… and looks like those boys are playing marbles! I think I will like it here.”
Sam pulled himself into the stage and turned to his mother, who smiled at him.
“Good, because I think I am going to like it here, too. Now, listen to me. I am going to go out there, and I want you to stay in here. I are going to meet that man Jasper I told you about, then I will come back and get you, can you stay here and keep quiet for a few minutes?”
Sam looked a little disappointed that he couldn’t go with his mother but he nodded.
“That’s my good boy. I’ll be right back.”
Grace kissed her son on his forehead, then slipped out of the stage and onto the street. Sam leaned over into her window to watch where she went, and was surprised when she stopped by a tall man in front of the store window.
Sam couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could see that his mother looked happy. The man gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she turned to come back to the stage.
Sam ducked back inside and moved back to his seat.
“We are all set, Sam! Come on, let’s grab our things, and I have someone I want you to meet.”
Shyness suddenly overcame Sam, and he didn’t think he could move. He saw that man behind his mother, and felt sick from nerves.
Grace pulled open the door of the stage and held her arms out to her son.
“Sam come on! The stagecoach has to get going, and you don’t want to hold him up.”
Reluctantly Sam slid over to his mother, and let her lift him out of the stage and onto the ground.
“Hello Sammy Boy!”
The tall man spoke loudly, and Sam wanted to cry. He ran behind his mother’s skirts and hid his face in the folds.
“Sam, this is Jasper Farris, the nice man we are going to live with. Can you say hello?”
Grace tried to move out of the way, but Sam clung to her skirts and shook his head.
“He’s a little shy at first, but don’t worry, once he warms up he won’t ever stop talking.”
Grace spoke with a nervous laugh, embarrassed that her son wouldn’t move.
“That’s quite all right. The preacher is still in town for the next couple of days, but I thought we could get things settled right away. Shall we?”
Jasper held his arm out to Grace, who slipped her hand into the crook of his arm.
“Come along, Sam, I have an errand to do, then we can head to the house.”
She spoke softly, and grabbed Sam’s hand.
Sam walked on the other side of his mother, keeping her in between him and his view of Jasper. They walked quickly to the church, but Sam kept his head down. He felt shy, he felt embarrassed, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be here after all.
More than anything, he just wanted to go home.
Chapter 5 – Life on the Ranch
Grace hoped life in Montana would change for the better for her and her son, but it didn’t look as though Sam was any happier here than he was back in Boston. He spent most of his time out in the barn, and seldom spent any time at all with Jasper.
The days passed, and Grace found she had less and less time to spend with him. Life on the ranch was a busy one, and she spent much of her days in the kitchen. Her marriage to Jasper wasn’t what she thought it was going to be, either. Jasper spent most of his days out in the barn or out on the range, and was seldom there with either her or Sam.
“Why doesn’t Jasper let me ride with him?”
Sam was picking at his biscuits and eggs while his mother washed up the dishes.
“You know he’s busy out there, trying to keep all of the cattle in line. It must be hard when you have one cow going one way, and one cow going another. Don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
Sam continued to poke at his eggs, and Grace sighed. She had hoped this change would help snap him out of his depression, but he only seemed to be growing worse since they had arrived.
“Try to eat something, Sammy Dear. You know you need to get your strength up, school is going to be starting again soon.”
“We still have plenty of summer left, and I don’t want to go to school.”
Grace turned around, surprised that her son had talked back to her. Sam was always so quiet, it was rare for her to get an answer out of him at all, let alone an answer like that.
“I think you’re going to like school here, there’s lots of kids your age, and they’re all from different ranches. You will have so much in common! Maybe you’ll even make a new friend or two.”
“I said I don’t want to go to school! I don’t want to make new friends! I want my old friends!”
Grace nearly dropped the dish she was holding. She may have been able to overlook Sam making a remark to her here and there, but she was not going to overlook his yelling at her. She was his mother, and no matter how upset he was, he was going to treat her with respect.
“Don’t
you talk to me like that, young man! You mind your manners and your tongue when you speak to me.”
Grace fought to keep her own voice under control. She was furious, but she was also sad. It was extremely rare for Sam to ever disagree with her, and she had never fought with him like this. All she wanted to do was wrap him up in a hug, but she couldn’t move.
“Why! Why should I mind my manners? You don’t care about me! You just care about you! That’s why you brought me out here in the first place!”
Sam was yelling now, with tears running down his face. Grace was crying, too, but she didn’t know what to do. Same couldn’t speak to her like this, but it pained her to think of him hating it out here.
“Samuel! That’s enough! When your father gets back inside I-“
“He’s not my father! He’s never going to be my father! Pa’s dead, Ma! He’s gone!”
Sam interrupted his mother in the middle of her sentence, and he now jumped down from the chair he was sitting in. There was more than half of his breakfast left on the plate, but he didn’t care.
“You sit back down there Samuel! Come back!”
But Sam ran out the door and headed for the hen house as fast as he could run. Grace stood in the kitchen, tears running down her face, watching him go. She didn’t know if she should follow him, or if she should just give him space. Never would Grace have thought that they might fight like this. It was so out of character for her and Sam both.
Grace turned back to the washbasin and buried her face in her hands. She splashed some fresh water on her face to get rid of the tear stains, and she took a deep breath in.
“Is everything all right in here?”
Grace jumped at the sound of Jasper’s voice, and turned around. She smiled, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice.
“Yes, I was just having a conversation with Sam. School is going to be starting soon, and I wanted to know if he was ready.”
Jasper looked at her, then at the table with the food still on it. It was evident that he wasn’t satisfied with her answer, but he didn’t pursue it further.
“Is he going to waste that food?”
Jasper looked at the food on the table, then back at Grace. She followed his gaze to the plate, and she shook her head.
“I’ll pack it away for later. I’m sure he’ll be hungry in a little while.”
“See to it that it’s not wasted, and I want dinner to be on the table by three this afternoon. I need to go into town and I want to eat first.”
With that, Jasper put on his hat and strode out the door, letting the screen door hit on the doorframe behind him. Grace stood in the kitchen and watched him go, disbelief rendering her speechless.
I swear, it’s like that man wanted a maid more than a wife, and he said he was going to love Sam like his own. I think he sees Sam as more of a bother than anything. Maybe this was all a big mistake.
Maybe Sam’s right, and I should just take us back home where we belong.
She sighed and shook her head, then scraped the rest of Sam’s breakfast in the pail for the pigs. Jasper didn’t need to know what she did with it, and he wouldn’t as Sam about it, either.
He acts like Sam doesn’t even exist.
Maybe that’s the problem…
Chapter 6 – Fall Days
“Sam, hurry up! You don’t want to be late for school on your first day!”
Grace stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Sam to come out of his room. Their relationship was still strained at times, but Grace was determined to make the most of it, and Sam had resigned himself to his new situation.
When he finally did appear and walked to the top of the stairs, she beamed up at him.
“I say! You look as handsome as a peacock on his way to the fields!”
She tousled his shaggy blonde hair when he reached the bottom of the stairs and kissed him on top of his head.
“Ah Mama, I don’t want to go to school. Do I really have to?”
“Yes, and you are going to love it. Here’s a pail with your lunch in it, and Jasper left a nickel for you to purchase a new tablet and chalk. Now hurry up so you aren’t late! Don’t play on your way there, you have a few miles to go. Hurry!”
Grace pushed her son out the door, then watched him head up the lane. She was proud of him, and hoped that he would enjoy the first day of school. They had driven past the schoolhouse on their way into town, and Grace thought it looked perfect for Sam.
It was close enough to town that there would be many of the children there, but it wasn’t so far that she or Jasper would have to go with him. If he stayed on the road as she told him to, it wouldn’t take him more than half an hour to get there.
Maybe once he makes some friends here, then he’ll want to stay. After all, life on this ranch is quite different than what he was used to back in Boston, it’s a small wonder that he hasn’t been happy.
That afternoon, Grace was in the chicken house collecting the eggs. There were more than two dozen hens, so there were more eggs than she knew what to do with. Jasper told her to clean and bundle the eggs so he could sell what they didn’t eat, but with all of the baking she did, it was hard to know how much they weren’t going to eat.
“Jasper! Jasper!”
She saw her husband walking out of the barn, and hurried over to meet him. It had been all day since she had seen him, and she hoped it would be a good time to connect.
“Yes, Grace? What is it?”
“I was just wondering what you were doing. Sam is still at school and will be for another hour or two… do you maybe want to take a walk with me?”
Grace’s cheeks were flushed from her jogging to catch up with him, and her eyes held a playful sparkle. Jasper looked at her for a moment, then he looked at the barn and shook his head.
“Can’t you see I’m busy? There is enough work to keep you and me busy well past the time Sam will come home, and with any luck he’ll be back in time to get his chores done before dinner.”
Grace’s eyes fell, but she tried to sound optimistic.
“Of course, Dear, how silly of me. I guess I just lost my head for a second, and acted like a giddy school girl myself. We must get this work done before it gets dark, the shorter days are going to be upon us before we know it!”
She gathered her skirts up, and checked to make sure the eggs weren’t cracked, then she turned to head back to the house. Jasper stood where she had left him for a few more minutes and watched her walk to the house. He couldn’t help but take note of how pretty she was.
For a brief moment, Jasper wondered what life would be like if they really were to act more like a family. It was hard for him, he had grown up an orphan himself, and was never close with anyone. When he was grown, he left the orphanage and worked until he could afford his own place.
Now, he knew the value of working hard, and saw little worth in trivial time. Marriage was the joining of two forces for a common goal, not for silly fancies. But there were times when he saw Grace and he saw someone he could love. There were times when Sam came running up to them and he wondered what it would be like to view that boy as his son.
The sound of the wind blowing leaves off the trees shook him back to reality, and Jasper turned to head back up to the barn. Time was of essence, and the seasons waited for no one. If he wanted to make sure everything was set for winter, he had to get it done now.
Back in the house, Grace had turned to see if Jasper was still outside, and her heart pounded when she realized he had been watching her. There were times when she wondered if she was breaking through to him, and there were times when she thought she caught him staring at her.
It had been a long time since she felt pretty. She spent her days caring for the house and for Sam, so the thought of Jasper finding her attractive made her heart skip a beat inside her chest. She lingered in the kitchen for a moment, thinking of what life could be like if she and Jasper really did fall in love, then she forced herself to snap back into the moment a
nd start dinner.
In Grace’s life, dreams were dreams and reality was reality. Some things were the way they were for a reason, and whatever the reason was for her to live the life she was living, she was going to live it the best she could.
Chapter 7 – The Disappearance
“I don’t care what it is! I’m not going!”
Sam slammed the door to his room closed as hard as he could, rattling the entire upstairs of the house. Grace knocked on his door, then opened it. She found Sam lying on the bed, facing away from her.
“Come on Sam… why don’t you want to go to school?”
“I miss my friends, I miss my teacher, and I miss my real life.”
Sam had tears in his eyes, but he brushed them away before Grace sat down.
“You are going to make new friends here, Sam. It’s been less than a week of the new schoolyear. Surely going will make new friends.”
“I’m not going, Ma! Please don’t make me.”
Grace wanted to tell him he had to go, but something came over her. She didn’t know why, but she suddenly didn’t want to make him go anymore. One day every now and then wouldn’t hurt, and she knew he was still dealing with a lot.
“Ok ok, you don’t have to go, but I do expect you to work on your studies.”
Grace rose to leave, and she heard Sam mumble something to her as she did. She lingered a moment at the door of his room, then she sighed. There was nothing more she could do right now, so she closed the door behind her, and headed downstairs.
“Dinner smells delicious.”
Jasper sat down at the table and tucked his napkin into the front of his shirt. Grace smiled and replied she had made his favorite, then she headed upstairs to call Sam to dinner.
“I thought he was in school?”
Jasper looked up at her in surprise.
“I let him have the day off. He’s been going through a lot lately, and I didn’t think it would hurt.”
Grace headed upstairs and knocked on his door. There was no answer, so she knocked again. This time, she called his name, but there was still no answer. Grace opened the door.
[2016] A Widow's Love Page 2
