I had only fought when I had come across supes in my path over the past six months. I stopped seeking out the fight. Which for me was unheard of. My numbers should have been a red flag, which they were but in the other direction. It just never registered with me to think it was Azrael using my knife. Hell, nothing really had registered since I had left him. I half thought he would have destroyed it. I was way off my game these days.
I bent to pull my jeans on, without thinking about my former lover being in the room. Az was standing behind my ass before I could blink. The way he was standing there was causing my hormones to stir in the most body-dripping way.
“God I’ve missed this.” Az said. I looked back to see him staring at my ass. Apparently he had just missed my ass and not me. He met my eyes. “For old time’s sake?”
I know I shouldn’t have even thought about it, but my body was winning this battle and who was I to stand in its way? My head nodded my agreement before my brain had a chance to vote. It was all the signal he needed. He knew, like Cade, to act before I changed my mind.
He slid his hands around my ass and pulled my underwear until it tore. He tucked his fingers in the moisture that had pooled between my legs.
“Already dripping.” He said.
It didn’t take much for Az to get me going. Mostly because I knew what was to come. The second he had come up behind me, I was ready. He bent, sliding his fingers over my clit and nipping at my shoulder blades with his teeth.
As he continued to tease me with his hands, I wondered if he had learned any new moves while he had been away from me. The thought of it made me feel murderous. I could live the rest of my life without ever knowing if he had slept with anyone else. Of course, even if he had slept with someone else, you couldn’t improve perfection, could you?
Az pulled his fingers out of me and stepped back, my body temperature immediately dropped ten degrees. I stood and watched with eager eyes as his clothes disappeared. This was the sight I had dreamt about for all of these months: Him hard and ready with not a thread of clothing on him. He was glorious in his bare form.
I sat on the edge of the bed and Az stepped to me, pushing me on my back. He pulled my legs over his shoulders and slid into me. I saw bursts of light. I think I may have seen an Angel or piece of heaven. I may have died. I had been too long without him. It was hard, fast and out of this world. He pounded into me relentlessly and I loved every minute of it. He pounded so hard I was probably going to have an outline of his balls on my ass. Wouldn’t that be a souvenir? I could feel my orgasm building and slipped over the edge as his filled me with his cum.
Breathing hard he said, “I missed you screaming my name.”
I hadn’t realized I had been screaming his name as he pounded, but I always lost control with him. The freedom was liberating and disconcerting. I could never remember anything when he took me that high.
“I’m sure you got some details of the screaming I’ve done over the past six months.”
I didn’t know what my problem was. The only man I’d ever loved just gave me an incredible orgasm and now I was pushing him away? Fuck. Me. Oh, wait, he had. That’s why I was pushing him away. Because nothing could come of this. Except more orgasms and death.
Life was not worth living if it didn’t have him in it. But if I was with him he was already looking at a death sentence. I’d have to pull Paul out of retirement again. He was my vibrator. Not as good but he got the job done.
“You’re a fucking bitch sometimes, Laney.” Then he was gone, without another word or any piece of clothing on.
Did I have any redeeming qualities left in me? Or had I lost them all on my way to this bottom feeding life I’d come to live? I hoped I had some good left in me somewhere.
I lay on my back sated, but alone. I thought of all the mistakes I had made in my life: fighting my Father on so many things, not fighting him enough on others, allowing the Hunters to control every aspect of my life, not being honest with myself. But hurting Az had been the thing I regretted most in my life.
I pictured the scene the night I walked out on Azrael. I could still see myself standing in our old apartment, making dinner that last night. I could still smell the food, feel the heat from the stove, hear my rapid breathing because I was terrified of what I had to do, all of it. As I pictured it all happening, a fold of blinding white light opened and swallowed me.
~V~
“What I’ve done, face myself, to cross out what I’ve become, erase myself, And let go of what I’ve done.”
– Linkin Park, What I’ve Done
The light faded and I found myself watching the last meal I had made Az unfold. Only instead of being a part of it, I looked around to find I was standing against the wall of the kitchen. A bystander watching the past.
I watched as I struggled to cook the chicken on the stove. I could smell the chicken as it charred. It made me want to take cooking classes. I had made his favorite – chicken enchiladas. It was another one of those things I could cook without screwing up too badly. Burn the chicken? Yes. Burn the chicken and play it off like it was supposed to be part of the recipe? I was a pro.
I wondered if I was standing in a dream. Had I fallen asleep? Or maybe I was dead. Maybe I had died in my sex-coma. Wouldn’t be the worst way to go.
I could clearly see the tension in my body as I cooked Az dinner. The pain was already plainly written in every wrinkle of my face. Az walked in our front door, already pulling off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack behind the door. It was strange watching it all happen instead of being a part of it.
I held my breath and listened as the pain spread-out before me.
“That smells amazing, Laney. What’s the occasion?” He was more carefree then.
“I just wanted tonight to be special for you.” The real reason I had done it was to do a good thing before doing the worst.
“Why tonight?”
I could tell – seeing his face from this angle – he already knew something was very wrong – I had pretended back then he didn’t know me.
I remembered how I chose my words then, so very carefully. I stepped in front of Az and slid my fingers down his jaw. I saw Az close his eyes and shudder. Az swiped his hand and the room froze.
Well, the me cooking froze. The me touching Az was still able to move. I had forgotten he could freeze time for short periods. His eyes opened, searching. It was nice touching Az without having to worry about the repercussions. I was doing two things at one time, cooking and touching Az. Don’t tell my procrastinating side she’d be piiiiissed.
“I can feel you. I know you’re there. I feel like I know you – but …” Was he talking to me? The past me, or the present me? Nothing else was moving but past Az and present me. I waved my hand in front of his face. There was no response from him so I suppose I was physically invisible to him but he could still sense my energy? What a strange dream.
“Yeah. You know me.”
Az opened his eyes wider, alarmed. He brushed my side as he walked around me. I just stood and watched, enjoying the time I had to see him.
“Laney? What’s going on?” I was pleased he knew my voice. Of course he knew my voice. The six month absence hadn’t started yet. Even now, I would never forget him. His voice, the memories, the way he felt to me. I’d miss him if I hadn’t met him.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know how I got here. I think I’m dreaming.”
“Me too. What’s the last thing you remember?” Well, that’s not the question I expected. I expected him to start freaking out, at least a little bit.
“I was laying on my bed. You had just ridden me hard and left – because I’m a total bitch – and I thought about how much I regret pushing you away. Regretted this night.”
“I can’t see you, but I can feel you. Maybe I’m going crazy.” He drug his hands through his hair. It was his nervous tell. He wasn’t telling me something. Heaven help me.
“If you’re crazy, then what am I?�
�
“A voice in my head.”
“I miss you so much.” I said sincerely.
“What are you about to say, Laney?” He was studying past me. Should I give him the truth or some of the truth? If this was just a dream, as I thought that it definitely was, then why not the truth?
“I’m about to break our hearts. About to do what I think is necessary.”
“I knew something was up.” Az’s eyes dropped away from past me. “You never cook my favorite meal unless you’re in trouble or saying sorry.”
“Yeah. I’m kind of doing both.” I said as I stared at a happier me, if only for a few more moments. “I’ve never mourned anything more in my life. I miss you every day. I want to call you, I want to love you, but more than anything – I want to keep you safe.”
“How fucked up are we now? Wherever we are.”
“Pretty bad and it’s all my fault.” Wow. I really was giving him the truth. But why not? If I felt better when I woke up, then it was worth it.
“You can’t protect me from everything. You do realize I’m a Demon. I work for Mastema.”
“No need to remind me. In the future, you sit at his right hand.”
“What?!” He started pacing agitatedly and I almost couldn’t track him with my eyes he was moving so fast.
“I know, right?” How surreal could this conversation get? Az stopped moving and clasped his hands on top of his head.
“Do you still love me?”
“Not even in the darkest corner of my world could anything ever change that.”
“Keep that in mind when I show up and remind you of this conversation.”
What the hell was he talking about now? This dream was getting too weird for even my head now and that’s saying something.
“I better go, before I get a cramp from being frozen like that.” Az laughed at my comment. It was warm and thick and I hung onto it like the last life boat on the sinking Titanic.
“I love you Delaney.”
“You more.”
I felt the world moving around me. It felt similar to riding a roller coaster and going down that first big drop. Your heart ended up in your throat and you were screaming a moment later. When I opened my eyes again I was out of my dream world and back where everything made sense. Well, most things anyway.
It shouldn’t be dark out but it was. I just fell asleep and it could only have been mid morning then. I was still tired, too. I looked down and saw I was still lying naked on my bed.
I heard someone in the kitchen. I grabbed my robe, which always had a blade stored in the pocket, and secured it tightly around my frame. I crept down the hall in search of my intruder.
Cade had the kitchen faucet on and was crouched in the sink scrubbing at his eyes with dish soap and water.
I stowed the knife back in my robe pocket. He didn’t need any surprises when he couldn’t see.
“What’s wrong with your eyes?” Cade jumped at the sound of my voice like I had just stuck a needle in his ass. At least I had tried not to scare him.
“I came to pick you up for the Council meeting. Little did I know you’d be naked and spread eagle on your bed when I got here.” He finally turned off the water, “The vision is permanently burned into my retinas, thank you.”
“Kind of like the time you walked in on your parents screwing on the kitchen table?”
“That’s it. I’m going to kill you.” He turned the water on in the kitchen sink again and splashed his face with more water.
I left him to it while I went to my room and got dressed. I threw on my gear and went to the bathroom. I had no idea where the day had gone. I must’ve been wiped and tired from all of the shit on my plate. It was the only explanation I had for losing all that time. The dream had made me feel better, at least that was some consolation for losing the day. I hadn’t realized how much I needed those things off my chest. Thank God it was just a dream. Cade knocked on the bathroom door.
“You ready?”
“In a sec.”
“We’re going to be late!”
“They can’t start without you.” I came out as I said that, and it looked like just in time. Cade hated being late, and I was perpetually late to his perpetually early. He was about to boil over. Cade’s face morphed then and he sniffed the air.
“Have you had a very strong Higher Demon here?” Why, yes. Yes, I have. And it was the best sex I’ve had. Ever. Right, like I would ever tell Cade that. And if I did, I’m pretty sure I would have to buy him a lifetime supply of soap. Some things were meant to stay private.
“Nope. Probably one of my tails. Let’s go.”
~VI~
“Come away little light, come away to the darkness, in the shade we’ll come looking for you.”
– Maroon5, Come Away to the Water
Cade and I stood in the main meeting hall of the Hunter’s HQ. It was white marble with swirls of red in it. Being a Hunter facility you would think it would be all black. But no, we only wore black, the rest of our things were actually very tasteful. I thought all the black we wore made us look a little too U.S. government, but maybe that was why the Hunters had us dress that way. I glanced over at the side wall and saw a picture of the Hunter’s council wearing all black with the exception of my Father, who sat in the middle, of course, wearing all white.
Cade’s constant presence next to me was the only thing holding me there. He had stayed glued to my side while schmoozing and putting up a good front for all of the Hunters surrounding us. I was graced with unmasked disgust and speculation from my fellow Hunters.
The stares and unconcealed hatred had gotten worse in the months I had been absent from the meetings. I stared each one of the judging Hunters in the eyes because even though everyone had their speculations, I was still the Bossman’s daughter and a fellow Hunter. I did get a few hellos from younger Hunters who, obviously, didn’t know who I was. You would think they would’ve seen the older Hunters reaction to me and kept their distance, but no. They just said a friendly hello. Probably thinking I was Cade’s girlfriend. Yep, I could see that. But I was itching for a fight so I continued to stare back at the open hostility and begged for one of them to act. I knew they wouldn’t, but I could hope.
This had been the first time I had wanted to fight anything for six months. The dream really had helped.
My eyes continued scanning over the unfriendly faces that surrounded Cade and I. I found the eyes of my seamstress staring honestly at me. Asking me, silently, to not draw attention to her.
Aniese had been a Hunter – just like me – our only differences now was she had been bitten by a Drover and I had been bitten by love. Or maybe consumed by love would be a better way of putting it. Now her eyes were like a snake’s and she could shift at the full moon into anything she wanted. Even another person or creature. The only catch was, just as their name indicated, they stayed in droves and were not allowed to leave their packs. Luckily, Anie’s pack was here in Miami.
She had been my tailor for as long as I had the idea for my leather jacket. Which happened when I was 19. She was the one that made any piece of unique gear I needed.
When she was a Hunter the equipment hadn’t cost me a penny because she was paid through all the Hunters for her services. Now, though, she charged me an arm and a leg for the jackets. Or maybe it was that I needed one every couple of weeks. I mean, how messed up was it that we paid for our hunting equipment? (Although, most tradesmen pay for their own tools.) We were taken care of on every normal level there was, clothing, housing, food, healthcare, you know, the norms, so I couldn’t complain too much.
I nodded my head and went straight for her. She looked pissed I was coming toward her, but I needed a familiar face in the trenches.
“If you weren’t my best customer, I’d break your nose right now.” Such hostility! I was her best customer. But I was also not viewed upon fondly by the Hunters right now, either. I understood her conflict.
“Good to see you Ass, I me
an Anie.”
“Aniese, Goddamnit Delaney.” She insisted I call her Aniese at these meetings. A sign of respect. I hadn’t seen her in months. It was nice to see I still had the same effect on her.
“So you’re still coming to these little shindigs, eh?”
“As long as the invite stands, yes. I thought they would’ve thrown your ass out by now, though.”
Since Aniese had been a badass, well known Hunter, and the Hunters had little to no allies on the “other side”, they had invited her to continue coming. They had made it very clear with the invite, though, that the door was to swing both ways. Since they were letting her in, they wanted the same courtesy. Tête-à-tête, per say.
“I weaseled my way back in. Can’t keep a starving snake away from the angry mice.”
“Oh, I think the mice may overwhelm the snake this time.” She said it with a smirk. I stopped to look around us and saw that most of the eyes in the room were glued on us. I cussed under my breath.
“Thanks for the support, Anie.”
“No problem. Let’s sit.”
Aniese moved to the front row and sat. It was her way of reminding the Hunters of what could happen. Who was I to not sit with her? She was a good friend and, had been and still as a supe was, the best Hunter I had ever seen. I sat proudly next to her.
The gavel came down as we sat and I saw my Father behind the giant long desk in front of us. He raked his eyes over every Hunter in the room with the exception of me. He was intentionally ignoring my presence. Good to see you too! Dick.
What a passive aggressive asshole.
~VII~
“When the days are cold, And the cards all fold…”
– Imagine Dragons, Demons
I didn’t want what was being sold in this room. However, I needed answers and I needed my face to be seen so it would not be forgotten. I would not have my memory wiped clean from these walls into which I had poured my blood, sweat and fears. Like the desert craved a drop of rain the walls of the Hunters’ headquarters sang to my soul.
Demons: A Hunter's Novel, Book 1 Page 4
