I hoped he was clueless. But knowing Az, he would never jump without looking first. I questioned if the reason he had started dating me was because he knew back then what I was going to become now. I mean, why not? The man I knew as my Father was a Shadow. Why shouldn’t the man I would risk the only life I know for, be a traitor?
My whole world had been shaken to the core and I was now questioning everything in my life, even the things I was absolutely sure of. Because I had been raised by a Shadow, anything was possible. And that was terrifying.
How could I be part Angel when my life had been nothing but a series of trips and falls? I wasn’t anywhere near perfect like I imagined most Angels were. Except for the crazy ass Angel that burned down my house, he had to be a little unstable.
I guess I could be more Demon than Angel, then the whole thing with Az made more sense. Maybe God did work in mysterious ways. Or maybe he was just as much of a sadistic bastard as Mastema was.
I lay in bed for a moment or two longer then jumped up to search for Anie. I opened the door and found Anie holding up the wall.
“Are you being paid to sit outside my door?” I said.
“Are you always such a bitch?”
“These days, yes.”
Overall I had been a pretty hardcore bitch recently. She was right.
“Well, it’s never too late to change.”
Anie could be a real bitch too, but you always got glimpses of the good heart she had. She would do anything for me, and I was thankful to have her in my life.
“You know I love you right?”
Wow. I couldn’t believe those words passed my lips, and without my permission nonetheless. I mean I did love her, but it’s not something I wanted to throw out there all the time.
She had been a part of my family as much as Cade and his parents had been. I was pissed at her but not really. I was trying to blame her for things she didn’t know. She had no idea about Az and I. I couldn’t blame her or be mad. I shouldn’t at least. But it didn’t mean I wasn’t trying to ignore the truth of that situation: It was my fault.
Anie gave me her one eyebrow-raised look, which said: Did you really just say that? I can’t wait to hold it over your head later. She didn’t need any more ammunition. We had known each other long enough where she still held over my head the time I peed my pants during training because she kicked me in the bladder after I had just told her I really had to pee. I had been so pissed at her that day. The Hunters had to restrain me and pull me off her, urine soaked pants and all.
“Are you feeling okay?” She said it jokingly but I knew there was an undertone of seriousness. I wasn’t okay and I probably wasn’t going to be for a long while.
“Sure. Yeah.”
“You just going to sit around in your underwear all day or are you going to do something about the Shadow?” Ah, Anie always knew how to make me feel better.
“That’s why I’m out here. It’s just taking me some time to get around to it.”
I really, really did not want to have this conversation with her, but there was no other way around it. I needed to talk to him and the symbol he had given me was the only way I had to get a hold of him. I knew Anie probably had at least a burn-phone number.
“I need you to get a hold of Azrael.” I said it like pulling off a band-aid.
Anie’s color immediately turned to a bit of a blush. Huh, so he had shown her some of his moves in the sack. When a man’s name conjures up that kind of blush, he had to be something else. And I knew for a fact he was.
Anie had never been good at hiding her feelings. I, however, was a pro at it. I’d been doing it all of my life. If I had acted on the feelings I had for my Father over the years he’d have been dead many times over. Or, rather, the Shadow would be dead. Which I think would mean both of them, right? I was confusing myself needlessly.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” She said. Bullshit!
“Just fucking call him!” Well, I used to be good at hiding my feelings. Now, it would seem, I wore my heart on my sleeve.
“Woah!” She put her hands out as if her tiny hands could stop my temper. I knew she was about to enter into the tirade I had started. “Listen heifer. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but stop taking it out on me.”
“You slept with the Demon Azrael. Had sex with him. Fucked him. Six months ago.” Her eyes widened as I pointed each sentence with a sharp edge.
“What’s it to you?” She put her hands on her hips and the attitude ensued.
I was just too beat down and on an emotional roller coaster to try and explain the complexity of Az and I’s relationship and answer all of the questions that would surely follow. And, honestly, what do I tell her? He’s the only one I’ve ever loved enough to walk away from? He’s my soulmate? He’s my lover? He’s the only one in the world that at this moment I feel I can trust?
I know I could trust Anie but I didn’t want to put her in too much danger by telling her all of my deep dark secrets as I had with Az. I knew he could take care of himself, he had proven that. Anie was tough, but not like Az who sat right below Mastema. Anie had fourteen locks on the inside of her house. I bet Az didn’t even have a door on his house.
“Just call him.” I said barely over a whisper. I turned and went into my room, grabbed my blades, and decided now was as good a time as any to sharpen my blades.
~XIV~
“Is there a chance, a fragment of light, At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?”
– A Fine Frenzy, Ashes and Wine
I sliced the air with my blade, doing so with weighted precision and depth. I needed this. The influence of the steel brought me focus and, although only a small amount, peace. This was what I had done as a stress reliever for as long as I was able to balance a blade. It helped me think and work through situations that were livable but felt unlivable at the time. This was one of those times. One of those moments in life where every thought is in chaos and question. My life had never been so out of my hands. But the familiarity of my blade helped.
I had grown up living the life of a Hunter, and now how could I not question everything that my life was? I continued with my rolling, slicing, flipping. I was wearing a sports bra and a pair of black yoga pants. I had sweat sliding down my back being slurped up by the top of my pants. I was in good shape and didn’t see the point in hiding it, even from myself.
As I finished a slide, I felt my Demon in the room with me. Az stood watching me. He grabbed the extra blade he preferred from the floor, sluiced his jacket off, and stood ready to fight me. I could fight him with less restraint than I normally would have with any other sparring partner because he healed quickly. I never put so much oomph behind my blade that I would take off a limb or kill him, but enough where I could be less gentle than sparring with a Hunter. Az healed very quickly, especially with how high up he was now. He could take a beating and be fine afterward. Perfect.
“Came crawling back?” I said.
“Something like that.” He smirked. I knew he had come back because Anie had called him. But a girl could hope it was for her.
He brought the blade from above his head down onto me, I caught his blade with mine. It was a signature move he always began our sparring with. One I had never forgotten. It’s my warning we’re beginning. He had said those words only once but had done the move as his first from that moment on. I appreciated the fact he trusted my memory enough not to say it over and over again. Unlike the Shadow who had repeated every phrase to me at least 100 times.
Normally, I would dance around him before I threw my first jab. But I needed the physicality of this dance now. I shifted my weight to strike him on the left side and he blocked easily. I spun quickly around to try and elbow him in the face before he could catch onto what I was doing. He blocked my hit and brought the sword under my chin. Fuck.
I could feel his breath on my neck and the chill that followed it down my body. Not from any sort of cold air, but from the he
at his mouth could illicit without ever touching my skin.
“One to me.” He whispered in my ear. I loved this man.
He released me and I brought the blade low, swinging to take him out at the legs. I’ll admit it was a stupid move. The second I went down to do it, I realized my error. He jumped and landed as the blade zipped under his feet. I had my back to him now because of the momentum of my movement. Az kicked me in the butt. I lost my balance and fell on my front, catching myself with my hands, and holding a sort of yoga plank pose with the sword still in my hand. That was embarrassing. I didn’t need to turn around to see the smile on his face. I could hear it clearly enough in the silence.
“Two.” Az said. He was going to pay for that.
With a quickness I didn’t know I possessed I pushed up off the floor and kicked backwards, catching Az off guard. He stumbled a few steps. I turned to see the light in his eyes flare. He loved fighting as much as I did.
He jabbed at me twice on the left side which I blocked once with my blade and then dodged with a spin. It was a beautiful dance that I enjoyed immensely, especially with him. He jabbed at my left side again, I felt the blade bite my skin and took the opportunity to pin the blade under my arm. Keeping it tucked to my side, I spun, taking the sword away from Az. When I turned back around I had a blade in each hand and struck out to cross cut. It cut his shirt in an X shape and I saw his chest bared to me.
I could feel the beginnings of a fantasy, one I wanted to act out with him. Heat licked over my body. I looked to his face and wanted to smack the smirk off it. He had always known the effect his body had on me.
“My first point, but not my last.” I said.
He would not win the fight today. I was breathing hard now, a little bit from the exercise, a little bit from Az’s body. I dropped the sword because it was only fair. I would’ve had him on the ground in minutes had I kept it. Which had crossed my mind but I needed this, more than the win. Az rolled, grabbing his blade again and stood like he had never left his feet.
I shifted closer to him with my sword, going left to right. We went blade to blade for a few minutes and then something happened that had never before, everything slowed down. I could see his progress slow along with mine, but I somehow knew it was still real time. It gave me more time to plan my next move, which wasn’t always easy with Az.
I looked into Az’s eyes as I moved my sword to cut his cheek, but just barely. I knew it would only be a scratch for him while the blade came down slowly. After it connected with his cheek, everything sped up and Az brought his hand to the blood dripping. He rubbed his fingers together and then looked up at me, surprise showing clearly on his face.
“No wonder you’ve always won our fights. Being able to slow everything down helps.” I kept my blade clutched in my hand. I was stabbing at a hunch but I saw his reaction and knew I was right.
“So you’re part Demon.” It was a statement from Az. So he didn’t know much.
“You tell me.”
“I actually went and spoke to Mastema when I left you earlier. You caught me off guard.”
Of course I caught him off guard. It’s not every day you hear that your ex-girlfriend is some sort of supernatural when you thought she was just a Hunter. But he talked to Mastema instead of me?! What the hell?
“You went and talked to your boss instead of me?!”
I could feel my temper rising, as well as the blade in my hand. I placed it on the ground in front of me so I didn’t do something stupid.
“I’ve always felt a pull toward you. It was…painful not being with you. And I don’t use that term lightly.” I would think not since he was from Hell. “But now it makes sense why I couldn’t let you go.” Well, fuck him too.
“And I thought romance was dead. It couldn’t be that you loved me? That you needed me? That maybe I was more to you than just a good fuck?!”
“I felt all of those things initially. I still do, but it was more concrete once you left me. I felt like I was missing a piece of me. With Demon blood, when a Demon mates, the bond is stronger. A Demon without its mate is like a void. It’s why I now sit at Mastema’s right hand. I was hollow without you. I tried to suck up all the pieces of myself until one fit back into place. Mastema understands that better than anyone. That’s why I talked to him.”
I’m not really sure what he meant about Mastema knowing that better than anyone, and I could tell by the look on his face, he wasn’t about to tell me either.
I had felt the same way. I wondered if he’d still feel the same way once he found out that I wasn’t just part Demon.
“I have something else I should probably tell you.” I gestured to the bed. Az threw his blade on the floor next to mine.
Once we were both sitting I took his large hand in my slender one. I knew he would try to understand what I was about to tell him but whether he would accept me the way I was ….that was a different story.
“I know what I am, right now anyway, and it’s probably more than what you think.” I paused and took a deep breath.
“You’re a Hunter. And, at least partially, a Demon.”
He was trying to piece what I was together and that was encouraging for me. It meant he had not known what I was before we had gotten together. But I didn’t know how he was going to react to what I told him next, and that was unfamiliar ground for us.
“I’m not only Demon, I’m Angel, Hunter, Vamp, Drover, Shifter, Fairy, and human.”
“How do you know?”
His face was blank now so I knew the process of deciding what to accept and what to cast aside was happening for him inside that gorgeous head of his.
“Kai. I called him.”
“You told me Anie cast the thread.”
“Anie cast the thread. I called to him.”
I had only lied to him once in my life and that was when I told him I didn’t want to be with him – I wouldn’t do it again.
“You can do that?”
“Like calls to like I guess. I didn’t know I was doing it until after Kai told me I had. I could read his thoughts too.”
Az put his hand up for me to stop talking.
“Do you realize how much danger you’re in?”
“I’m getting the idea. I know why the Angel or Demon or whatever blew up my house now.”
“It was an Angel. I checked the signature. I thought it was trying to keep you from becoming a Demon by killing you. But now it could be something else entirely.” He seemed to grab onto a thought and run with it when he said, “How did this happen?” Probably talking to himself. But I answered anyway.
I told him that someone had created me, but I wasn’t sure how, who or why. I told him about the Shadow that was my Father. Az listened and brushed my cheeks affectionately. He did it with such gentleness it felt like a butterfly had kissed me. It was a strange sensation.
It was an affect of being around Az now with the Demon blood coming to the surface, I guessed. It seemed whatever I was around came to the surface. What I didn’t understand is why I hadn’t started with the Drover stuff when I was around Anie more than anyone.
I looked up at Az to see how he was taking everything as I finished with the Shadow story and answering his questions.
“Don’t worry, Love. We’ll get your Father back.”
It was as though everything in the world would be fine as long as he was there with me. So long as Az was with me I felt stronger and more at peace, placed, still.
“Did you hire Anie to protect me at the Hunter meeting?”
It was the last question I needed to ask.
“I would never leave you unprotected.”
I knew it. I patted myself on the back and high-fived myself, quietly in my imagination.
He leaned down and took my mouth with his and laid me back on the bed, running his hands under my shirt over my pebbled nipples. As I lay taking in all of the feelings he was giving me, I heard an intake of breath and without thinking put myself between Az and whoeve
r was standing behind him.
Anie stood in the open doorway with an expression of disbelief. How had I not heard the door open? Oh right, Az and I were getting ready to do the nasty.
“Azrael? Laney?!” She started sputtering, smacking her forehead and looking between us. “You getting pissed about his sign being up makes sense now. What the fuck, Delaney? Why didn’t you tell me!?”
“What would I have said?”
“I don’t know, ‘Anie, I screwed Azrael too?!’” Anie threw her hands up in exasperation. When she said it that way, I guess I could’ve said something.
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“I can only imagine.” She waited a beat then said, “Good to see you Azrael.” She spit out with distaste, “Fuck you both. Oh, wait! You already are! In my house!!”
Anie flipped us off with both fingers, turned on her heel, and left the room. Damn did that girl know how to do an angry storm out.
I decided to let her go for an hour, or maybe a day, to make sure she had time to calm down. She was the type of person, when pissed, you didn’t want to try and have a conversation with.
“Well, that went well.” Az grabbed my hand and pulled me back down on the bed with him.
“Ummmm…don’t you think we should show a little respect to Anie, and not do this right now?”
“She’ll be fine. As long as you’re quiet, she’ll never know the difference.”
I wanted to tell him that I would. But when it came to Az, my love, or maybe lust, for him would win out. I decided to try and change the subject instead.
“I need help Az.”
“I thought I was helping.”
He said as he rubbed his obvious arousal against my hip. Well, I thought I was changing the subject.
“Ha. Ha. I’m serious. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. Well, I know the first thing I need to do is to get rid of the Shadow.”
“There is an easy way of doing that.” I knew what Azrael was suggesting.
Since he was a Demon he could see what the Shadow was by touch. If it was a type of Shadow that Az could get rid of, aggressive spirit or Demon, he could do so on his own. If it wasn’t then the Shadow could kill him. Was I willing to take the risk?
Demons: A Hunter's Novel, Book 1 Page 9
