“Really? Then what the hell is it like, Emilia?” His voice rose in the slightest. He was definitely pissed. My cheeks burned with all the attention being on me. I did not know what to say or do because everything got all mixed up. In my head and in my heart.
“I don’t know. I just know that I need to focus on work right now, but you’re…hard to resist.” I felt tears prick at my eyelashes. No. I could not believe I was about to cry. I held back the tears trying to escape, burning the rims of my eyes. And the way he was looking at me, an intensity I could not place.
“Right, it’s my fault then.” With anger, he snatched up his keys and wallet, not giving me another look. “Call me when it has something to do with work.”
I gasped as he left, shutting the door behind him with a slam. I let my tears fall then. From frustration and confusion. And I was so confused. I wanted him. I couldn’t resist him. But I knew I couldn’t be distracted from my work. Hell, I was aroused during a meeting with a client and had to cover it up with a sketchbook. A fucking sketchbook.
I almost lost my head in my meeting with my investor that morning. Getting distracted, thinking of Tristan. Something had to give.
I busied myself with work until I left at sundown. I finally stopped crying, but I was still confused and angry. Sad, too; because I felt like Tristan did not want me anymore. I understood. I’ve strung him along, and he doesn’t need that. Not after what his ex did to him.
***
Once I got home, I called Ivy, knowing she would have something helpful to say.
“Hey, I was just about to call you.” She sounded so happy. I did not want to dampen her mood with my shit.
“Really? I was wondering if you want to come over for dinner.” I was never good at hiding my feelings.
“Sure. But what’s wrong?” She asked me.
“Nothing. Honest. I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up before she could pry. I took a quick shower and got dressed in a soft pair of leggings and a large tee shirt. I officially looked like a relationship just ended, even though it wasn’t really a relationship.
The feelings were real though. I burned for him, and ached. I have dreamed of him every night since that ball. I’m sure I would tonight to. He just drew me in with his charisma, honesty, and good looks of course. He’s been hurt and he deserved real…he deserved something good. I definitely wasn’t giving that to him.
Ivy knocked rapidly, pulling me from my cloud of thoughts.
I opened up and she was complete with two boxes of pan pizza. She can read my mind, it’s proven.
“Hey, how was your day?” I reigned my best smile but she was still eyeing me.
“Great… yours?”
I shrugged.
“I met with the bride and groom, from that wedding. They liked my plans.”
“Oh, that’s good! When is the wedding?”
She got plates and cups out, I helped myself to three slices and a full cup of iced sprite.
“Weekend after next. The rehearsal dinner is this weekend. They said I could bring someone, so you want to come?” She shot me a look as she sat with me on the couch.
“Sure, but you have to tell me what’s going on.”
I sighed, I guessed I should start from the beginning, so I did.
“How could I have missed all of this in a week?” She exclaimed
I just shrugged. I never told her about seeing him again because I thought it would make it too real. But she had been busy this week anyway, so I hadn’t actually seen her.
“But when I saw him today we had sex again, despite what I said. I could not resist him…but he left angry. With good reason. He doesn’t want to get played again. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well it’s obvious you like him. So, you should consider his feelings, you don’t know what you want so don’t go to him again until you do.” She really was the voice of reason.
“I know. But I know I want to be professional though, but I want him too. And I don’t want to choose.” She nodded, understanding as she thought more.
“But this wedding won’t last forever? What about after?”
That would be ideal. But I still had to stay focused. On getting a new shop, getting my funding for it. Growing my client base. I still had Sasha. But she could not float me forever. And I had my walk-ins. But I could have even more if I was in a better part of town. There was too much to do that could not involve the natural distraction a relationship would bring.
“No but I still have to stay focused.”
“But you like him. He won’t stick around forever.”
I nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t.
“So, you need to figure out how much you really like him. Maybe you’re even…”
“No, don’t say it. Please.”
She held her hands out in defense, dropping the subject.
“Well I’m here for you.”
I nodded, thanking her. I really needed that. Even when she brought it up I could not entertain it. It would be too real and way too hard.
So, we just ate pizza like pigs and watched trash television. It was perfect. My hands itched to talk to Tristan. To at least apologize. I hadn’t realized how much I was hurting him and confusing myself. But it would just open the floodgates. He even said to only call him when it’s about the wedding. It hurt, but it’s what I wanted.
Isn’t it?
Chapter Twenty Four: Emilia
A week felt like an eternity. I kept busy packing new orders, and talking with Gabriella a lot. But I heard nothing from Tristan.
I supposed I should be relieved, it was what I wanted. He did not speak to me at all, and I had gotten used to his morning texts and daily antics. I had gotten used to him.
I thought not being involved with anyone would make my work better, but it seemed my arrangements were only getting worse. It was like I met him that first night, and my work got better. Then I decided I could not be with him, and my arrangements lost their luster. I heard some customers talking about it in hushed whispers around the flower shop.
And Gabriella sent back four of my wedding ideas. We were going back and forth for the past three days over email. She finally told me she would just discuss it with me tonight when I drop off the flowers for the bridal shower. She was having it at her mother’ house.
Anything relating to the wedding made me think of Tristan, but I was somehow relieved I wouldn’t see him tonight since it was the bridal shower. I was even curious to see what kind of friends she had, and wondered if she was as picky with them as she was with me.
I thought I would be the same way with my wedding anyway, it was her special day after all. So, everything should be perfect. And I was happy to oblige to help her with that.
I walked to the bus station to go down to the rental place where I rented a truck out to transport all the flowers. Gabriella confirmed she paid the retailer, so I picked up everything I needed and headed her way.
The truck was full when I arrived at her mother’s estate. And I do mean estate. It was huge. The front of the house looked like a castle with its pillars and semi-circle outputs. It was an old cream color, lined with darker trim. The van looked out of place even at the service entrance—they had a service entrance.
I rang the doorbell there and waited. I don’t know why I hadn’t expected Gabriella to be the one to answer the door.
“Hey, you look amazing!” I wasn’t just saying that to flatter the bride either.
She had on a beautiful floral maxi dress with a slit on the side. For a doctor, she was very fit and tan. I just did not think she had time to make herself look this good, me? I have no excuse. Levi was a lucky guy.
“Thank you so much, do you need help unloading?” she gestured to the van, stepping out of the threshold.
“Oh no, you just wait inside. I’ll be done soon.” I assured her. I definitely did not want to mess up her perfect up do and makeup either.
I kind of felt my heart panging, wanting t
o be making the floral arrangement for my bridal shower. But I shoved the thought away and got to work. She showed me the main room and then I was otherwise alone. All the trips back and forth had me a little sweaty, and mostly tired. But I was done carrying them in after thirty minutes.
It took an hour to set everything up. We finally decided on azalea side pieces, and a mix of orchids and camellias for the centerpieces. Their large main living room had been changed to a seating area with eight tables. I wanted each piece to be perfect, she would have these photos forever. Her theme was artsy, which made sense. The other sitting room had easels set up where they would be doing a painting session with a nude model. It sounded fun. I could imagine how her bachelorette party would be, which was tomorrow.
It was my understanding she did not have many friends though, so I wondered who she was going with. But as I was setting up, I found out she had seven sisters. Seven. I was finishing up the accent wall with white, hot pink, and fuchsia touch-me-nots. They did well indoors. I strung them out and lined both pillars with them. The living room had a large entryway so I wanted to decorate it as well.
I heard Gabriella outside with her sisters the entire time, they seemed very happy. I tried not to eavesdrop, but I could not help it.
“Gab, if you don’t have naked men at the bachelorette party, it did not really happen.”
“I don’t want to go to a strip club!” She exclaimed.
“What about an entertainment club? The dancing is more tasteful.”
There was more chatter and discussion.
“Fine. Fine. Just help me with this.”
Their conversation bored down and I got back to work. Two hours later I was putting the finishing touches on the centerpieces and the other guests started coming in. I wished Ivy would get married so I could do this for her someday.
“It looks beautiful.” My fingers froze around the dome of the vase. My body softened at the sound of his voice, like it was tight and bothered before.
Tristan.
I turned slowly to look at the origin of the voice, and it was him. Dressed in faded jeans and a crisp, blue button up. He was impeccable; even his shoes were on point, a pair of casual black oxfords. His hair was kept, more so than usual. His eyes green and wide, yielding a smile.
“Tristan, what are you doing here?” His hands slipped in his pockets as he took three steps towards me, closing the space between us.
I inhaled his scent, soap and a woodsy scent, like pine. I had missed it, but it feels I never left it.
“I had to drop off the cake and party favors.” He explained. His eyes searched mine warily.
It was definitely awkward, but not unbearable. We did not leave off on the best terms. I wondered if he was still mad. And I wondered what the hell I was thinking. My body still wanted his. I regret not wearing a bra with my shift dress, I felt my nipples tightening just from him looking at me.
“Oh. I did not know you were coming.” I said. He shrugged.
“Hadn’t planned on it.” It kind of warmed my heart, how sweet he naturally was. He was really kind to be doing all of this for them.
“You need help with those?” He gestured to the stack of empty flower bins. Ugh. I dreaded taking those out.
I wouldn’t deny I wanted to spend more time with him. But I was afraid I would lose control again. Better yet, I wasn’t sure I did not want to lose control.
“Um yes, please.”
It would help get me out of here faster anyway. I did not exactly want to be around when all the girls started piling in. He did not hesitate to start lifting the boxes and take them out. He was done in only a few minutes.
“They seem really excited.” I said.
“Yeah. Her sisters are annoying though.”
He leaned against the pillar in front of me. Effortlessly relaxed. I wondered how well he really knew her sisters, I assumed a lot since him and Levi had been friends for over ten years.
“They’re just happy for her.” I teased the camellias even more. But I was ready to leave so I grabbed my bag and headed out.
“And jealous.” I rolled my eyes. But I did see it in their faces sometimes.
I stopped outside to tell her I was finished. I stuck around for her to check it out, but she said it was perfect so I was free to go.
“Thank you so much. I love it!” She hugged me, much to my surprise. She just did not seem like much of a hugger.
“No problem.”
Her mother thanked me too and I took my leave. I hadn’t noticed Tristan had left until I saw him leaning by my truck. My heart leapt towards him, quickening in pace. My fingers twitched as I approached him, looking like a god under the lowering sun light.
“Hey.” I said.
He nodded at me. “Hey.”
“You’re still here.” I stated.
He nodded at me again. I could see it behind his eyes, there was so much he wanted to say. “You have a minute to talk?” He asked. I fiddled my keys in my hand, nodding once.
He stared back at me, stepping closer. He was about to speak, his lips parting but he stopped when we heard voices. The guests were arriving now, a bunch of women who made no secret of stopping and starring.
“In here.” He took me to the back of the truck. I unlocked the door and we climbed in.
The space was small, but not so much so. He sat on the bench across from me, hunched over in the small space that didn’t fit his tall frame. I set my purse aside and crossed my legs nervously.
“I should apologize.” He said. My brows furrowed. I hadn’t expected him to say that at all.
His eyes stayed on mine before fleeting elsewhere, his jaw tightened. I cocked my head to the side, studying him. He was so handsome, even in the dim lighting that I’m sure did not flatter my porcelain skin.
“You want to apologize? Why?”
I thought I should be the one apologizing.
“I should have respected your wishes. I shouldn’t have been flirting with you and teasing you. It isn’t your fault, what happened last week. And I made it seem like it was.”
I took in his words. Really thinking them over. I still felt guilty. If I were stronger, we wouldn’t have been in that situation.
“It’s no one’s fault. It isn’t like I minded you flirting with me, even though I said I did. I do want to focus on work but… I want you too and I don’t know what to do.”
His eyes found mine. He seemed so sad and…dejected. “You said you don’t do casual sex. I’m not sure I ever want to be in a relationship again.” He said honestly. I nodded in understanding.
“Maybe…maybe that’s better in our situation.” I whispered.
The air grew hotter. I was suffocating, and the only thing that could give me air was him. I crossed the space and he did not miss a beat, grabbing my hips and pulling me onto his lap. I felt him against my thigh, not hard, but obviously there. He peered at me, like he was studying me.
I knew a relationship would distract me. But just sex would be completely different. I do like him, and my feelings were real for him. But I knew it was worse if I can’t have him. Can’t be around him. Maybe a casual sex relationship was below our ages, but it seemed best.
“I just think you deserve more than that.” His voice was husky, hooded with desire already.
I ground myself against him, pressing my chest to his as I linked my arms around his neck.
“This feels right. I only want things to feel right.”
He gazed at me, studying my expression. Like he wanted to be sure. He cared about me. I cared about him. We can figure the rest out later. Right now, I needed him. For the first time I initiated a kiss, but he quickly took over.
My lips parted, allowing his tongue to lap over mine. My breasts pillowed against him, the thin fabric of my chest did little to keep the warmth of our bodies from meeting. I felt my nipples harden from the desire coursing through me. My fingers seared through his luscious tuft of hair, latching him to me.
His han
ds gripped my fleshy thighs, moving to my ass to ground me against his length. I was pretty much dry humping him for minutes, building up the sensation. He took my dress off at once, revealing my bare chest. I wished I hadn’t worn such a boring pair of green cotton panties. But he still feasted on me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He trailed his lips down my neck, sucking the hollow of my clavicle before moving farther down to my breasts, kissing everywhere but my aching nipples.
“Please…please.” I whimpered. He growled, finally suckling on my nipple until I feared it could fall off. He released the hardened bud and did the same to the other. I was writhing against him, wiggling around until I felt his hardened cock against my thigh.
I undid the buttons of his shirt, raking my nails down his chiseled muscles as his fingers traced my folds over my panties. I fiddled with the belt of his jeans, until I finally released him from his briefs. His cock was so fucking perfect, and pretty. It’s head an angry pink, throbbing for me as moisture formed and slipped down his length. I circled his base and brought my hand upward until the moisture pooled over my hand. I wanted to taste him.
I maneuvered myself down to a kneeling position. I kept my eyes on him as his eyes widened. He bit his lip softly as I brought my lips to him. I sucked just the head, tasting him, feeling him in my mouth before I moved farther down. Teasing him by not going all the way. He twirled his fingers in my hair, latching me to him by my bun. He bucked his hips toward me, fucking my mouth slowly. I wanted to keep going, but suddenly he pulled me up. I fondled his balls, a heavy sack of his desire and he growled like an animal.
“I want to come inside you.” He pulled me back up onto his lap.
He pushed my panties out of the way. His mouth went to mine, kissing me roughly, with so much passion I barely noticed when he entered me. I broke away, my breath catching. He felt so much fuller this way, hitting me right at my core. I thought I would come already. Everything was tight, full, and throbbing as he guided me over him.
2X The Hear Page 21
