by Thia Finn
“I read all of the stories about Chris Kyle. He exemplified what a lot of the soldiers coming home from that crazy war go through. Even if some of it’s been glamorized by Hollywood, at least more Americans might understand that those guys need help to live back in society.”
“Who are you?” KeeMac asked. “I didn’t know you had it in you to think about something besides sex, booze, and music.”
“Hell yeah, I do. I got all kinds of deep thoughts in this brain.” I tapped my head. “I haven’t let them out to surprise this group because… because… yeah, I don’t know why. I just fucking haven’t.”
“That’s good to know, Carter. All these years I’ve been thinking you were a typical bass player. You’ve been holding out on me with your stored brainiac ways.” Chandler patted me on the back.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I had a lot of time to think about what Carter would try to pull by making this announcement. I didn’t trust him to follow through on his word. He’d broken that trust with me a long time ago. We still hadn’t talked about my need to climb on and fuck his brains out on the bus. I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to have sex, no questions asked.
I’d had a few lovers over the past eight years but none that I cared for. Pure and simple sex, that’s it. Our quick encounter lit me up like fireworks. He knew exactly what buttons to push to make me come alive. But when I finished, I was done. He should have felt used because that’s what I did, used him for sex that I needed at the moment, just as it had been with the few guys I let in my pants after he left me.
We arrived back at the bus at dusk. All four of us filled the ride with idle talk about the band, venues, and music. It turned out to be a fun afternoon after we got off the subject of Carter wanting to make changes in his life. I knew the three of us had our doubts about his ability to follow through, but the truth would be in his actions down the road starting with the show tomorrow night. Even in Salt Lake City’s Vivint Smart Home Arena, there must be lots of beautiful groupies waiting their turn at the band.
Another radio station meet and greet followed AD’s performance. The winners of their on-air contest claimed the big prizes of getting backstage to meet everyone. Hayden and I found ourselves in the middle of the party. Getting to meet people who actually knew who we were made me feel absolutely special. To know that people out there knew our names and our music thrilled us. Hayden experienced this before but not me. I didn’t exactly know how to handle it either.
I leaned into him while signing a t-shirt, “Hayden, this is freaking awesome. They actually know my name.”
“Yeah, it’s wild, isn’t it? Wait ‘til you see what happens when AD walks in here. We’ll be back to nobodies by then.” We both laughed.
“Hey, I’ll take my fifteen minutes of fame.” He nodded, and we did a little fist bump between us.
When Gunner, Ryan, and Carter walked in, Hayden’s prediction came true. The fans screamed and mauled them before they could all pass through the doorway and the security guards could get them behind the tables to start the signings. Witnessing the excitement had to be the wildest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
The guys sat down at the table with us. Carter took the chair next to me so I watched him interact with the fans. His friendliness captivated the hearts of screaming girls from eight to sixty-eight. He said kind things, asked important questions, and made them all feel special while he signed whatever they put in front of him. I’d never seen this side of him before. I felt like I might be seeing a new Carter.
“Hello, ladies,” Carter addressed two young teen girls. “Did you enjoy the show?”
All either of them did was stare and nod.
Carter laughed a little. “So how old are you both?”
This time they stared at him like he had grown a third eye. Again, he smiled and glanced at the woman standing behind them.
“They are both fourteen and for some unknown reason they’ve lost the ability to talk which would be a Godsend any other time.”
“I’m sure it is. So, fourteen, huh?” The girls nodded. “And do you have names?”
The cute girls nodded but never said a word. Oh my God, how did the guys stand this? At least when Hayden and I signed, the people acted like they had some still active brainwaves.
The woman leaned forward. “This is my granddaughter, Emmy, and her friend, Paige. Girls please at least say hello so he doesn’t think you’re both hearing impaired and mute.” This caused the girls to start laughing almost hysterically. What a weird thing to watch.
Carter signed the t-shirts the girls won, addressing each with their names. He stood and walked around the table and hugged the woman. He thanked her for taking the time to bring the girls to the show.
She hugged him back and said to the girls, “See what happens when you actually use your words girls? You get a real hug from a hot guy.”
Carter laughed hard at her comment. He kissed her on the cheek, and the two girls looked on the verge of passing out. The woman shook her head and shooed them along.
“Well, looks like you won all three of them over at the same time.”
“Hey, it’s not hard when you have all of this to work with.” He motioned to his body.
“Palleeasse. That’s pathetic, Carter.”
“Oh, babe. The women love me all the time, but I’m going to be more choosy about loving the women. At least random women, that is.” He winked at me, and I stared at him as he signed the next CD case for two beautiful twenty-somethings. His polite conversation almost had me believing he told the truth. Doubts lingered in my mind, though.
The number of fans slowly dwindled down leaving the band, Hayden, and me talking in a group. We all sat together in the same room for the first time since the tour began with only the two little ones missing. I watched them interact like a big family. It made me smile and wonder if they enjoyed being together this much all the time.
Singing as a solo act never allowed me to feel this kind of closeness to others who understood music. I felt alone most of the time which made me want to give the duo act a try when Cash asked me. They seemed to be at home when they found themselves in this situation. I wanted to be part of this family. I wanted to feel at home.
With the room cleared, we worked our way to the bus. Only a few groupies made it backstage since the party had been arranged by the radio station. The DJs got to pick and choose who they allowed through the doors. I didn’t need groupies to make me feel accomplished, but I felt sure Hayden and Carter probably thought differently, but Peri sent them on their way.
“You guys have plans for the night?” Peri asked the question in general, but I knew she directed it to those of us who were still single.
Hayden spoke up. “No, I’m worn out and want to wake up with the little man early so we can play in the dirt with the dinosaur toys before we hit the road again. I’m headed to bed.”
That left me and Carter looking at her. “What about you two? Going to call it a night or head out to a club or something?”
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have plans, but I knew I couldn’t sleep now if I tried. “I’m flexible if y’all want to go out.” I looked at Peri not wanting to make it seem like I needed to be included with Carter’s plans.
He turned to me. “I don’t have plans, but we can go do something if you want.” He turned to Peri. “Any good clubs around here? Doing some damage on a dance floor right now sounds like a plan.”
I started laughing. “Really, you want to go dancing?”
“Hell yeah, sweets. I’m a badass dancer.” He swiveled his hips and made a few thrusts. “I thought you knew that about me already.”
“Must’ve been after my time. You used to hate dancing.”
“That’s before I knew I had moves that drove the women fucking crazy. Come on, we’ll have some fun. You know you damn sure want to see my moves like Jagger.” He danced around in the parking lot. I laughed watching him look ridiculous. Hot, but ridicul
ous. His moves suggested sex, and he knew it.
“Okay, if there’s some place Peri knows we can go.” She searched her phone and pulled up a country music place not far from the venue.
“Country music, huh? I don’t know if they’re ready for me on that kind of dance floor.” He spun around again.
“It’ll be fun. I know you have those moves. I’ve seen those before.” My mind drifted back to the last dance we attended in high school. They played mostly country music back then where we lived. He led me around the floor with smooth moves, perfect twists, and turns.
“Yeah, I guess I can still do that. Like falling off a horse, huh?”
“Or a mechanical bull. I’ve seen you do that as well.” I smiled when I said it.
KeeMac jumped into the conversation. “You mean this guy can do those line dances with his fucking cowboy boots on? I think Chan and I need to come with so I can make some YouTube-worthy videos. Hell, we’ll go live from there. It’d be fucking epic.”
“Keeton, the last thing we need to do is attract attention,” Chandler told the dumbass. If we encouraged our fans over Facebook to come join us, the fire marshal would close the place down.
Peri jumped in. “I’m calling security to go with you. I know it’ll be fun, but fans can get out of control quickly. He can take the car, too.” She moved away and started typing into her phone.
“Sounds good. Let’s fucking do it.” KeeMac pumped his fist in the air. I thought their after-show dressing-room sessions alleviated some of his adrenaline. Guess I was wrong.
We sped down the freeway to the club. I never missed a chance to wear my skin-tight bootcut jeans. I paired them with a short lacy top and my red cowboy boots. Peri made Chandler buy cowboy boots before they left Austin, and she wore them occasionally onstage. Tonight they would get used for their original purpose. For once, I looked forward to being out having fun with this group. With KeeMac and Chandler along, some of the pressure would be off me.
Cowboy Cadillac proved to be the place everyone touted on Yelp. The music blared, the dance floor moved, and the beer flowed. The security guard led the way through the door first and paid our way. As the bouncer checked the ID’s, the others grumbled, but I knew it would happen. Thankfully we all had ours on us.
The huge man looked the names and faces over and when he got to KeeMac, he stopped and then smirked. “Kinda out of your element, aren’t ya?” He turned and looked at the other two AD members and then at me. “Bringing some of your own groupies with you tonight? You didn’t need to bother. They may be fans of country music, but they’ll know you guys.”
Carter stepped up to look eye to eye to the six foot something guy. “That would be a big no, dude. She’s a star, too. This is Victory of Hayden Victory. Remember the name. You’ll be hearing it more and more in the next few months.” He turned from the guy and grabbed my hand. “Forget this dickwad. Let’s go in.”
We entered the loud, hot room and Carter headed straight for the bar. “Coronas, guys?” We all nodded, and he repeated it to the bartender. Once we grabbed the cold beverages that slid across the bar to us, we found a high top to sit down.
Carter whispered in my ear since the music blared through the speakers. “Sorry about that. I didn’t plan to get all caveman, but that pissed me off.”
“That’s okay and thanks for setting him straight. I’ll never be the star like you guys, but I appreciate you telling him. Who knows, maybe he’ll remember my name.” I smiled and nodded my head. His “Hulk” action made him look all badass to the people standing behind the rope trying to gain access to the crowded club.
“Let’s go dance.” He stood from his barstool, and I jumped down when he took my hand.
“Yeah, I want to watch this. I’ve never been to a dance hall like this.” Chandler seemed excited to be doing something different for a change.
“I’m getting my phone ready. I won’t post, though, until later anyway.” KeeMac smirked at us.
Carter pulled me close to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder for the slower tune while I put my hand behind his back. I prayed he didn’t pull me in so it looked like I hunched his leg the entire song. When we were in high school, we danced that way all of the time just for the thrill it created. We didn’t need that thrill now.
He led me around the floor as though we’d been doing it all our lives. Being this close to him, his signature cologne floated in the air around me, assaulting by senses with pleasure. The woodsy scent reminded me of how long it’d been since a man held me this close. My body screamed too long.
The next song sped things up, and he twirled me around the floor to the George Strait music everyone knew. Our rhythm flowed on the floor as though we hadn’t ever stopped dancing together. The twists and turns dazed my senses with the sensuality of it all. People who’d never danced didn’t know what they missed out on.
We both laughed when the song came to a close and he twirled me a final time, signifying the end of the dance. He hugged me to him and kissed the top of my head.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Damn, Halo. I forgot how much fun we had dancing together to good music. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I loved it. I haven’t been dancing in a long time.” The look he gave me warmed me in all the best places. Those feelings messed with my head. I couldn’t think of him like that. He obviously wasn’t interested since he’d never mentioned the sex I initiated. For me, it scratched a long overdue itch. For him, it must’ve been uneventful.
KeeMac patted us both on the back when we reached the table. “Well hell, y’all look like some fucking Dancing with the Stars contestants out there. The two of you surprised the hell out of Chan and me.”
“Yeah, Carter. You’ve been holding out on us. All this time you could’ve been teaching us about this country dancing. It looks like so much fun.” Chandler jumped off her stool and mimicked the way I twirled Halo.
“That’s right. We need to get the two of y’all out there to teach you how to cut a rug,” Carter told them both.
“What? Why would we want to do that?” Chandler’s confused face made us all laugh.
“Girl, that means dance. We need to teach the two of you how to dance.” I laughed at her lack of Texas lingo. For a girl who grew up a Texan, she missed out somewhere along the way.
“Oh okay. I get it now.” The three of us started laughing. After a couple more beers each, we changed partners and taught the two of them the basics so they could get out on the floor to dance together. They both picked it up quickly, so Carter and I were reunited after only a couple of songs.
The next song slowed things down and Carter once again pulled me in close. “This is more like it.” His warm breath whispered in my ear. “It’s great getting to hold you this close.” He sang the familiar song as he led me through the crowds of people in smooth movements. “I really do miss this, Halo. Holding you and feeling your body next to mine takes my mind to all kinds of good places.”
He held me tightly around the back of the neck so that my upper body seemed molded to his chest. My mind overloaded my brain with sensual feelings. What was he thinking? He barely acknowledges me after we have phenomenal sex, and now he’s excited to be holding me pressed up against him. I didn’t get it.
“I’m sure a lot of those women you bring home can dance this way, too. You didn’t have to wait on me to show backup in your life.”
“Just placeholders, Halo. Not a damn thing more.”
“What the hell does that mean, Carter?”
“Those groupies only want one thing from us, to say they’ve fucked a rock star. They’ll never be replacements for real relationships with the real women in our lives. KeeMac got laid every chance he had until Chandler came along. None of those women meant a thing to him. Hell, most of the time he didn’t even know their names. Same thing with Gunner and me.
“Now Ryan, his story didn’t follow that path because he wouldn’t let it. He never got into the group
ie thing. He went looking for long term and found Krissy, but she wanted him to leave the band and work a nine to five. Ryan couldn’t do that. None of us could do that either. We’re not built that way. They parted ways but not before Hayden got caught in her web that gave him Crew.
“Even after Gunner found Lola, he didn’t readily give up the wild nights of sex. We still had our fair share of crazy women willing to do whatever we dreamed up. Once they decided they trusted each other, that lifestyle ended, but Hayden stepped in and took his place as my wingman most of the time. He still spends as much time with Crew as possible. I have a feeling that he’s going to be looking for women instead of place markers very soon if my conversation with Crew is any indicator.”
We moved onto a faster song, and he twirled me and even flipped me over a couple of times before the song ended. Why had I waited so long to go dancing? Stomping our boots proved to be a great way to spend the evening.
“That’s so much fun.” Chandler’s breathless comment made us all laugh. “I didn’t know it would wear me out so fast. I thought I worked out enough.”
“Yeah, just means we need to be doing some more strenuous activities that require heavier cardio on your part.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “I suggest we go home and practice it right now.”
“Did I say anything about sex?” She glared at him. “Besides, I’ll be too exhausted after all this.”
“All you gotta do is lay there. I’ll do all the work.”
“Famous last words, Keeton.” She rolled her eyes and smirked at him for a change.
A line dance came on, and I drug Chandler back to the floor to dance to Copperhead Road. “You’ll learn to do it in no time. It’s all repetition,” I promised and we laughed the whole time because having too much beer first made it even funnier. When Watermelon Crawl came on right behind it, she took us both to the ground.
“What the fuck, Chandler?” KeeMac grabbed her and picked her up. “Babe, you have no business dancing without me holding you up. I think we need to go home and practice that cardio. You’ve got the whole ride home to sober up.” They walked toward the doorway where our security guard stood.
