by Sara Craven
He said without preamble, ‘I am going to make travel arrangements, Emilia, to return to Rome. I hope to leave in the
morning. Can you be ready by then’
So Valentina only has to crook her little finger…
Pain slashed at her but she managed to say brightly, ‘Yes, of course. If you can take me to the station, I still have the
return portion of my train ticket.’
He was at the door, but turned abruptly, his frown deepening. ‘Train’ he repeated. ‘What are you talking about’
‘You’re going to Italy,’ she said. ‘And I—I can go home.’
‘Certamente, but to my house in Rome, not your English sanctuary.’ His tone brooked no argument. ‘You are my wife
and your place is with me. Nowhere else.’
‘But—surely…’ she began, then halted.
‘Surely—what’ He glanced at his watch, impatient to be off. ‘There is something more you wish to say’
Yes, she thought. But where to begin
She bent her head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘I think perhaps it does, but there is no time now.’ All the same, he came across to her, his hand cupping her chin, turning
her face up to his as his mouth came down on hers in a deep, hard, lingering kiss that made her entire body clench in
trembling desire.
When he released her, he was smiling crookedly.
‘Later,’ he whispered. Then he was gone and, as the cottage door banged shut behind him, Emily stood, her fingers
touching the faint tenderness of her lips.
He still wanted her, she thought, so he was taking her with him. Yet she had no exclusive rights to him. Because, in Rome,
his beautiful Valentina was also waiting to stake her claim.
As she stared unseeingly into space, it occurred to her that the kiss, which had just left her breathless and melting, might
simply have been the beginning of a very long goodbye.
CHAPTER TEN
NEXTday, Emily found herself on a plane bound for Rome, under the confused impression she’d just been caught up in a
whirlwind.
The first time she’d travelled with Raf had been immediately after their wedding, when she’d still been too stunned by her
father’s loss, and too shocked to find that she was actually married to this comparative stranger, to pay much heed to the
arrangements for the journey.
Now she had plenty of time to appreciate how smoothly things ran when their wheels were oiled by money. How
transfers were accomplished, formalities reduced to a minimum and first class seats on aircraft suddenly became available.
But it also brought home to Emily just how little control she now had over her own life.
A life already occupied by another woman. Someone who was never really out of Raf’s thoughts, even while he was
seducing me. Someone he can hardly wait to return to. Valentina…
She moved suddenly, restively, and he glanced at her. ‘Is something wrong
‘I was just wondering—will I be able to send for my clothes’
His brows lifted. ‘Why’
‘Because I can’t manage with the few things I took to Scotland.’
‘You will not have to do so.’ He paused. ‘They can be thrown away and I shall tell Signora Penistone to dispose of the
rest of your wardrobe in England.’ He smiled at her, adding softly, ‘And tomorrow I will take you shopping.’
‘But that’s totally unnecessary. I’d prefer my own things.’
‘They belong to the past, Emilia. You are no longer a child hiding in the country, but my wife, the Contessa Di Salis, and
you will dress accordingly.’
‘But being your wife is a strictly temporary arrangement,’ she said in a low voice. ‘As it always was. And the fact that
we—we now have sex doesn’t change a thing.’
‘Does it not’ There was a harsh note in his voice. ‘I thought perhaps it might do so, but I see that was foolish of me.’
No, she thought, not looking at him. I was supposed to be the fool—duped into passivity—into ecstatic acceptance by a
few hours of expert lovemaking.
For a moment she found herself remembering the previous night. How unexpectedly, sublimely gentle he’d been with her,
as if he’d sensed her mental tensions and had wished to calm them. How he’d seemed to be aware of her every
breath—each flicker of her eyelashes, as he’d led her, slowly and patiently, to the sweet tumult of orgasm, then held her
close as she slept, so that she’d woken this morning, still in his arms.
But then that was one of his undoubted gifts, she thought fiercely. To make every woman he slept with feel as if she was
uniquely desirable—and desired.
‘Nevertheless you will dress in future to suit your status,’ he went on. ‘And also to please me. Which is why I intend to
supervise your purchases in person. However, you may retain what you are wearing at present,’ he added, his eyes
resting on the cinammon skirt she was travelling in. His mouth twisted sardonically. ‘It has—memories I treasure.’
Among so many others, she thought, her heart twisting, and none of them to do with me.
Hypocrite—hypocrite…
She said quietly, ‘As you wish.’ She paused. ‘What are people going to think, do you suppose, when you suddenly turn
up with me, after three years of living as a virtual bachelor’Above all, what is Valentina Colona going to think And how
can you do this to her
‘People’ he queried curtly. ‘People may think what they wish. Their opinions do not trouble me.’
What supreme arrogance. Her voice shook. ‘But not the whole truth, either—as we both know.’ And could have bitten
her tongue.
He said slowly, ‘You talk in riddles,mia cara . What is that supposed to mean’
She shrugged evasively. ‘Just that—everyone has to answer to someone in this life,signore . Even you.’
‘Perhaps,’ he said. ‘I decided long ago to answer only to myself.’
Emily bit her lip. ‘And that’s why I’m being suddenly dragged back to Italy, where I can’t even speak the language’
‘I will arrange lessons for you.’
‘I hardly imagine I’ll be there long enough to justify the expense.’
‘But an ability to speak a foreign language is always an asset.’ His smile grazed her skin. ‘Now, if you will excuse me, I
have work I must do.’ And he took some papers from his briefcase.
Emily stared out of the plane window. So, here she was, she thought, the Contessa Di Salis—but this time in fact instead
of the usual polite fiction. Yet she still didn’t believe it, and knew it would take much more than first class travel and a
wardrobe full of designer labels to convince her that this new identity was really hers.
Besides, everyone she met in Rome would know about Valentina Colona, and she was bound to suffer from the
inevitable comparisons that would be made. A skinny redhead, she thought, up against one of the world’s most
sophisticated women.
Except I don’t want to compete, she acknowledged painfully. Not when I know I’ve already lost.
And realised how strange it was that she should suddenly be thinking in terms of loss rather than anticipating the freedom
from her marriage that she’d always craved.
She looked down at her hand, watching the glint of the sapphire ring she was wearing once again.
To her surprise, Raf had suddenly produced it before they’d left for the airport, saying quietly, ‘I found this with your
wedding ring, Emilia. In future, I expect you to wear it—per favore’.
Her face had warmed as she remembered its significance,
but, taking one look at the implacable set of his firm mouth,
she’d reluctantly swallowed back her instinctive protest. Mutely, she’d held out her hand and let him place the ring on her
finger, then, still in silence, had walked out to the car.
But what would become of the ring—and of her—when his desire eventually waned she wondered. What hell of
loneliness might be waiting then And her mind shivered away from the prospect.
At the same time, she knew she should be more concerned with the immediate future and her introduction to a life for
which she knew she was woefully unprepared. A life that might call for the kind of painful discoveries and reluctant
compromises she couldn’t even imagine as yet. Where she would need to be blind, deaf and dumb in order to survive.
But, for now, there was the comfort of a first class seat to enjoy, glossy magazines to flick through and champagne to
drink. Who could ask for more she thought ironically, stealing a sideways glance at Raf, his dark face absorbed and
intent as he made notes in the margin of some document.
He did not turn his head, but, as if aware of her scrutiny, he replaced the papers and pen in his case and reached silently
for her hand, raising it swiftly and gently to his lips. Then kept it clasped firmly in his as the descent to Rome was
announced.
And Emily, looking down at the strong brown fingers interlaced with hers, suddenly felt her heart miss a beat and her
breathing falter.
It didn’t mean anything, she assured herself. He probably thought she was nervous about the plane landing, and she
was—grateful. That was all. Wasn’t itWasn’t it
Only to hear, from nowhere, a small, desperate voice in her head whispering—begging, Hold my hand always—please.
Never let me go, darling—darling.
For a moment, shock seized her by the throat. Overwhelmed her. Rendering her breathless. Powerless.
Leaving her to wonder how it could have taken such a simple gesture to make her understand that she was in love with
him. Deeply and passionately in love.
A love, she thought, stunned, that had probably begun a much longer time ago than she dared to remember, or admit,
even to herself.
A love that she had tried with all her strength to deny for three whole years.
But failed.
Impossible now to pinpoint the day, moment, hour when Rafaele Di Salis had first put his seal on her. She could only
recognise that it had happened. And find some way to live with it.
I told myself I disliked him, she realised with anguish, because I was too scared to examine how he really made me feel.
And too young to deal with it, anyway.
I didn’t want to belong to anyone as completely as I knew I would to him, because I thought I wasn’t ready for that.
Didn’t want to become part of his life—flesh of his flesh, bone of his bone, because even then I knew somehow that Raf
could have the power to destroy me if I came too close.
So it was infinitely easier to focus on Simon. To convince myself thathe was the one, instead of a mere adolescent crush,
and use him to try to put Raf out of my mind.
Only it hadn’t worked, she thought wretchedly. And when Simon had gone, she had had to learn to distance herself from
Raf in other ways, out of sheer self-preservation.
So she’d deliberately and consistently driven him away, then told herself she was indifferent when he’d sought comfort
elsewhere—even though, in reality, she’d been torn apart, suffering the torments of the damned through jealousy.
She touched the tip of her tongue to suddenly dry lips.
And her sole certainty of survival had been to ensure the marriage existed in name only.
Yet, with victory in sight, she’d engineered her own downfall by that crazy demand for an annulment.
My quite deliberate mistake, she thought.
Because instinct had told her that Raf would not allow such an insult to his virility simply to pass.
Which meant that everything that had happened between them since was entirely her own fault, she thought soberly. And
she had no one but herself to blame if she now had to endure the consequences.
Leaving her with no choice but to go on keeping her terrible secret, while her marriage to Raf ran its brief course, and the
inevitable moment arrived when he would send her away.
And there’s nothing I can do about it, she thought, with shuddering anguish. Nothing. Except prepare myself for the
heartbreak that I’ve always dreaded. And pretend all over again that it doesn’t matter.
And all this just because he took my hand—and held it…
The skies were grey over Rome and rain was falling in a steady downpour. Emily sat stiffly at Raf’s side, watching the
drops beat against the windows of the car which was taking them to the house they would share for—what
Weeks—months Certainly not years, she thought, sinking her teeth into her lower lip, tasting panic like acid in her throat
as she contemplated what lay ahead of her.
Oh God, she thought, how could I possibly have allowed this to happen
His voice reached her. ‘You are very quiet,mia bella . Are you tired’
‘A little—perhaps.’
It wasn’t true. She was just sick at heart and bewildered, totally unprepared for the unwelcome revelation of her true
feelings for him. And at a loss to know how to deal with them.
‘I have had some work done to the house,’ he said after a pause. ‘I hope it will meet with your approval. I have spent so
little time there myself over the past years, that I did not realise how dark it might seem, or how dismal.’
To a stranger…The words were unspoken, but they nevertheless seemed to hover in the air between them.
But she could hardly object. A stranger under his roof was all she was—or ever would be. And she must never forget
that.
Raf was speaking again. ‘If there are any further changes you wish to make, you must tell me,naturalmente .’
I don’t care about dark or dismal. I’d live in a hole in the ground if you only loved me…
Aloud, she said jerkily, ‘No, I’m sure it will be—beautiful.’ She forced a smile. ‘I can’t wait to see it.’
‘I regret that I cannot be there when you pass judgement,’ he said.
‘But, once I have seen you safely to the house, I must return to my office in the city.’
‘You’re leaving me on my own—on our first day back’ The query jerked from her before she could prevent it. Oh,
God, she thought in horror, how needy and pathetic did that sound
‘Unfortunately, it is unavoidable. I have an essential meeting, and other urgent matters to attend to.’
Valentina Colona among them
She dared not ask it aloud. Instead she lifted her chin and said, ‘Of course. I—understand perfectly.’
And waited for the knife to turn inside her as it inevitably did.
Raf’s mouth twisted. ‘I do not think that is altogether the truth,mia cara . Please believe that I do not wish to leave you.’
‘I’ve told you. It’s—absolutely fine.’
