by Unknown
“You Idiot!” said Pilgrim. “At the time of my leaving, I told you again and again that if Master were caught by a monstrous demon, you should tell him that old Monkey was his eldest disciple. Why didn’t you say so?” Eight Rules thought to himself, “To ask a warrior is not as effective as to provoke a warrior. Let me provoke him a bit.” He said therefore, “Elder Brother, it would have been better had I not mentioned you. Once I said something about you, the monster became even more impudent.”
“What do you mean?” asked Pilgrim.
Eight Rules replied, “I said, ‘Monster, don’t you dare be insolent, and don’t you dare harm my master. I still have an elder brother, who is called Pilgrim Sun. His magic power is great and he is especially capable of subduing monsters. When he gets here, he’ll make you die without picking a place for burial.’ When that fiend heard my words, he became more aroused, crying, ‘Who’s this Pilgrim Sun that I should be afraid of him? If he shows up, I’ll skin him alive, I’ll pull out his tendons, I’ll debone him, and I’ll devour his heart. He might be thin, this monkey, but I’ll still chop him to pieces and fry him in oil.’” When Pilgrim heard these words, he became so enraged that he jumped up and down, madly scratching his cheeks and pulling at his ears. “Who is this that dares abuse me thus?” he bellowed. Eight Rules said, “Elder Brother, calm yourself. It’s the Yellow Robe Fiend who is thus abusing you. I was just giving you a rehearsal of what he said.” “Worthy Brother,” said Pilgrim, “get up. I’ve got to go. If that monster-spirit dared abuse me so, it would be impossible for me not to subdue him. I’ll go with you. When old Monkey caused great disturbance in the Celestial Palace five hundred years ago, all the divine warriors of Heaven would bend their backs and bow to him when they saw him. Every one of them addressed me as the Great Sage. This fiend is truly impudent. He dares abuse me behind my back! I’ll go, I’ll catch him, and I’ll smash him to pieces to avenge myself for being so insulted. When I’ve done that, I’ll come back.” “Exactly, Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules. “You go and catch the monster first, and when you have avenged yourself, you can then decide whether you want to come back or not.”
Leaping down at once from the boulder, the Great Sage dashed into the cave and took off his monster garment. Tucking in his silk shirt and tightly fastening his tiger-skin kilt, he walked right out of the door holding his iron rod. Startled, the various monkeys barred the way and asked, “Father Great Sage, where are you going? Isn’t it better that you look after us and have fun with us for a few more years?” Pilgrim said, “Little ones, watch what you are saying. My accompaniment of the Tang Monk is no private matter, for Heaven and Earth know that Sun Wukong is his disciple. He didn’t banish me back here; he told me to come home and relax a little before joining him again. That’s what this whole thing is about. You all must take good care of our property and don’t fail to plant the willows and the pines in due seasons. Wait till I finish accompanying the Tang Monk and taking the scriptures back to the Land of the East. After that merit is achieved, I’ll return to enjoy the joys of nature with you.” Each monkey obeyed the instructions.
The Great Sage then mounted the clouds with Eight Rules to leave the cave and cross the Great Eastern Ocean. When they reached the western shore, he stopped the cloudy luminosity, saying, “Brother, please stop for a moment and let me go down to the ocean to clean up my body.” “We are in a hurry,” said Eight Rules. “Why do you need to clean up your body?” Pilgrim said, “You have no idea that the few days since I went back there have caused me to pick up some monster odor. Master loves cleanliness, and I fear that he might be disgusted with me.” Only then did Eight Rules fully realize that Pilgrim was utterly sincere. In a moment the Great Sage finished bathing and mounted the clouds again to proceed westward. Soon they saw the luminescent gold pagoda, to which Eight Rules pointed and said, “Isn’t that the house of the Yellow Robe Fiend? Sha Monk is still inside.” “Stay in the air,” said Pilgrim, “and let me go down to his door to see what I can do about fighting with the monster.” Eight Rules said, “Don’t go, the monster is not at home.” “I know,” said Pilgrim. Dear Monkey King! Lowering his auspicious luminosity, he went straight to the entrance of the cave, in front of which he found two young boys playing field hockey. One was about eight or nine years of age, and the other was over ten years old. As they were playing, Pilgrim rushed forward and, with no regard at all for whichever family they belonged to, grabbed them by the tufts of their hair and picked them up. Terrified, the boys began to brawl and scream so loudly that the little fiends in the Current-Moon Cave ran to report to the princess, saying, “Lady, some unknown person has carried off the two young princes.” The two boys, you see, were the sons of the princess and the monster.
When the princess heard that, she ran out of the cave, where she saw Pilgrim holding the two boys. Standing on top of a cliff, he was about to dash them to the ground below. “Hey, you!” screamed the horrified princess. “I have no quarrel with you. Why did you take them away? Their old man is rather mean, and if anything happens to them, he won’t let you get away with it.” “You don’t recognize me?” said Pilgrim. “I’m Pilgrim Sun Wukong, the eldest disciple of the Tang Monk. My younger brother, Sha Monk, is in your cave. You go and release him, and I’ll return these boys to you; two for one, you’re getting a bargain already.” When the princess heard what he said, she went quickly inside and told the few little monsters guarding the door to step aside. With her own hands, she untied Sha Monk. “Princess, you’d better not untie me,” said Sha Monk. “When your fiend comes home and demands the prisoner from you, I fear that you would take the blame again.” The princess said, “Elder, you are my benefactor; not only did you send a letter to my home in my behalf, but you also saved my life. I was trying to think of a way to release you when your eldest brother Sun Wukong showed up at the door of our cave. He told me to release you.” Holla! When Sha Monk heard the name of Sun Wukong, he felt as if his head had been anointed with mellow wine, as if his heart had been moistened with sweet dew. Joy flooded his countenance; his whole face lit up with spring. He did not behave like someone who heard the announcement of a person’s arrival, but rather like someone who had just discovered a block of gold or jade. Look at him! Flapping his hands to brush off the dust on his clothes, he ran out the door and bowed to Pilgrim, saying, “Elder Brother, you have truly descended from Heaven! Save me, I beseech you.” “O, you Sandy Bonze!” said Pilgrim with a chuckle. “When Master recited the Tight-Fillet Spell, were you willing to say a word for me? You were just as much a braggart! Why aren’t you accompanying Master to go to the West? What are you squatting here for?” “Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “no need to talk like that anymore. A gentleman forgives and forgets. We are commanders of a defeated army, hardly worthy to speak of courage. Please save us.” Pilgrim said, “Come up,” and Sha Monk leaped up to the cliff.
When Eight Rules, who was standing in midair, saw Sha Monk coming out of the cave, he dropped down from the clouds, crying, “Brother Sha! You’ve had a hard time!” Seeing him, Sha Monk said, “Second Elder Brother, where did you come from?” Eight Rules said, “After I was defeated yesterday, I went into the city at night where I learned from the white horse that Master was in great difficulty. He was changed into a tiger by the magic of Yellow Robe. The white horse suggested to me that I should go ask Big Brother to come back.” “Idiot,” said Pilgrim, “let’s not chitchat. Each of you take one of these boys and go into the Precious Image City to provoke the fiend to come here, so that I can slay him.” “Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “how do you want us to provoke him?” Pilgrim said, “The two of you should mount the clouds and stand above the Palace of the Golden Chimes. Don’t bother about the consequence: just hurl the boys down to the ground before the white jade steps. If anyone asks you whose kids they are, just tell them that they are the sons of the Yellow Robe monster caught by the two of you. When the fiend hears this, he will certainly want to return here. I don’t
want to fight with him inside the city because our battle will scatter cloud and mist, throw up dirt and dust. The officials of the court and the city’s whole populace will then be disturbed.”
“Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules with a giggle, “the moment you do anything, you start to bamboozle us.” “What do you mean?” asked Pilgrim. Eight Rules replied, “These two kids, after having been seized by you like that, are already shocked beyond cure. Just now they cried till they became voiceless; after awhile, they will die for sure. If we hurl them to the ground from the air, they’ll turn into meat patties. You think the fiend will let us go once he catches up with us? He will surely make us pay with our lives, while you get away scot free. There’s not even a witness against you! Aren’t you bamboozling us?” “If he tangles with the two of you,” said Pilgrim, “just lure him here. We have a smooth and wide battlefield at this place, and I’ll be waiting for him.” “Exactly, exactly,” said Sha Monk. “Big Brother is right. Let’s go.” Riding on the power and assurance of Pilgrim, the two of them picked up the boys and left.
Pilgrim leaped down from the boulder and went before the door of the pagoda. “Hey, Monk,” said the princess, “you are completely untrustworthy. You said that you would give me back my boys once your younger brother was released. Now that he is, you are still detaining my boys. What are you doing here instead?” Pilgrim smiled at her and said, “Don’t be offended, princess. You have been here for a long time, and I thought that we should take your sons to present them to their maternal grandfather.” The princess said, “Monk, you’d better behave! My husband, Yellow Robe, is no ordinary person. If you have frightened my boys, you should try to comfort them first.”
“Princess,” said Pilgrim with a chuckle, “do you know what is considered a crime for a human being living in this world?” “I do,” said the princess. Pilgrim said, “You are a woman! What do you know?” “Since the time of my youth in the palace,” said the princess, “I was taught by my parents. I recall an ancient book said, ‘Set against the Five Punishments are some three thousand crimes, but none is greater than an unfilial act.’”3 Pilgrim said, “You are precisely an unfilial person. Remember:
O my father,4 who begot me!
O my mother, who had nursed me! . . .
Pity my father and mother,
How hard they toiled to bear me!
Therefore, filial piety is the foundation of a hundred virtuous acts, the source of all morality. How could you entrust your body to be the mate of a monster-spirit and not think of your parents at all? Haven’t you committed the crime of an unfilial act?”
When the princess heard these words of rectitude, she was so embarrassed that she blushed for a long time before blurting out her reply, saying, “The words of the elder are most righteous. How could I not think of my parents? But all my troubles began when the monster kidnapped me here. His orders are very strict, and I cannot travel at all. The distance, furthermore, is great and there is no one able to send word for me. I wanted to commit suicide, but I was afraid that my parents would suspect that I had eloped with someone, and the whole matter would not be cleared up. I had, therefore, no alternative but to prolong my fragile existence. Indeed, I am a great criminal in this whole wide world!” When she finished speaking, tears streamed down her face.
Pilgrim said, “Princess, there’s no need for you to be sorrowful. Zhu Eight Rules did tell me that you wrote a letter and you saved my master’s life. You did express your thoughts for your parents in the letter. Now that old Monkey has arrived, you may be assured that he will catch the monster for you and bring him back to court to see the Throne. You can then find a worthy mate and look after your parents in their old age. How about it?”
“Monk,” said the princess, “don’t look for certain death. Those two younger brothers of yours were quite tough, but they could not overcome my husband, Yellow Robe, during the fight yesterday. Now look at you! You look like a ghost with more tendons than bones! You look like a crab or a walking skeleton! What kind of ability do you have that you dare speak of catching the monster?” Laughing, Pilgrim said, “You really don’t have much judgment, and you can’t discriminate between persons. As the common saying has it,
A urine bladder, though large, has no weight;
A steelyard weight, though small, licks a thousand pounds.
They may look big, but they are useless: creating wind resistance as they walk and wasting cloth when they put on clothes. They may be big as a mountain but they are hollow inside; their heads may touch door frames but they are slack of torsos; and they may eat a lot but food won’t do them any good. I, old Monkey, am small, all right, but hardy.”
“You really have the skills?” asked the princess. “Nothing that you have ever seen,” said Pilgrim, “but I specialize in subduing monsters and taming demons.” “You’d better not get me into trouble,” said the princess. “Certainly not,” said Pilgrim. “If you are able to subdue monsters and tame demons,” said the princess, “how will you go about catching him?” Pilgrim said, “You’d better be out of sight, or else I can’t really move when he gets here. I’m afraid that you still have a lot of feelings for him and can’t give him up.” “What do you mean by not giving him up?” said the princess. “My remaining here is not of my choice!” “If you have been husband and wife for thirteen years,” said Pilgrim, “you can’t be wholly without affection. But when I see him, I won’t be fooling around: a stroke of the rod will be a stroke, and a punch will be a punch. I have to slay him before I can take you back to court to see the Throne.” The princess indeed followed Pilgrim’s advice and went off to a secluded spot. Her marriage to the monster, moreover, was fated to end, and that was why the Great Sage made his appearance. After he had the princess hidden, the Monkey King shook his body once and changed into the form of the princess to enter the cave and wait for the monster.
We tell you now about Eight Rules and Sha Monk, who took the two boys to the Precious Image Kingdom and dashed them to the ground before the white jade steps. Alas! They were reduced to two meat patties; their bones were all crushed and blood splattered all over. “Terrible! Terrible!” cried the officials in court. “Two persons have been thrown down from the sky!” “These boys,” shouted Eight Rules from above, “are the sons of the monster, Yellow Robe. They were caught by old Hog and Brother Sha.”
Still under the effect of wine, the fiend was sleeping in the Silver Peace Palace when he heard someone shouting his name. He turned over and looked up: there were Zhu Eight Rules and Sha Monk standing on the edge of the clouds hollering. The monster thought to himself: “If it were just Zhu Eight Rules, I could understand this, but Sha Monk was tied up in my house. How could he get here? Why would my wife let him go? How could my boys land in their hands? Could it be that Zhu Eight Rules, fearful of my unwillingness to do battle with him, is using this to trick me? I can take the bait and go fight with him. Hey! I’m still hungover. If he gives me a whack with his rake, I’ll lose all my credibility. Let me go home first and see if they are indeed my sons or not. Then I can speak to these monks.”
Dear monster! Without taking leave of the king, he headed straight for his cave in the mountain forest to investigate. At this time, people in the court knew full well that he was indeed a monster. For, you see, he ate one of the palace maids during the night, but the seventeen others who escaped made a thorough report to the king after the hour of the fifth watch. Since he left so abruptly, they knew all the more that he was without doubt a monster. All the king could do was to order the many officials to guard the specious tiger, and we shall speak no more of them for the moment.
We now tell you about the fiend, who went back to the cave. When Pilgrim saw him arriving, he at once devised a plan of deception. He blinked a few times and tears began to fall like rain; stamping his feet, pounding his chest, and calling for the boys all the time, he bawled lustily in the cave. So sudden an encounter made it impossible for the fiend to recognize that this was not his
wife. He went forward instead and embraced Pilgrim, saying, “Mistress, why are you so upset?” With artful invention, with imaginative fable, the Great Sage said tearfully, “Dear Husband! As the proverb says,
