Close to Her Heart

by C. J. Carmichael

  But Eliot had sent her Mrs. Muddle. So she owed him.

  It was still with some reluctance, however, that she opened the door to him.

  God he looked good. So good. Long and lean, elegantly well-dressed. His quirky smile sparked something like joy in her heart and she couldn’t help smiling back at him in return.

  “I see Mrs. Muddle agrees with you.”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me she appeared out of the sky one day, floating down with an umbrella.”

  He laughed. “That good, huh?”

  “Totally changed my life. In just one day.” She opened the door wider to let him in, and only then noticed a woman and a little boy standing about three feet away from him.

  He gestured them forward. “Dani, this is Jess Churchill and her son Cole. I asked them to come and talk to you about their experiences the past six years.”

  Dani shook hands with the mother who looked about Mattie’s age, maybe a few years older. She was tall and very slender, with large brown eyes and a broad, engaging smile.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Dani. This is my son Cole. He turned six this year.” She pulled the boy, who’d been hanging back a little, out in front of her. As he gave Dani a shy smile, the purpose of this visit became very clear.

  Cole had Down Syndrome, too. Just like her own baby.

  Dani invited them in and offered to make tea or coffee, but Jess and Cole only wanted water and Eliot waved off any refreshments at all. They sat on the white leather sectional, which Dani was beginning to realize was a piece of furniture she would soon be looking to sell. White furniture and children were not a good mix.

  “Where is your baby?” Jess asked her.

  “She just fell asleep in the portable crib in my room. Would you like to see her?”

  “Oh, I hate to disturb a sleeping baby.”

  “I don’t mind.” Dani was suddenly anxious to have her daughter close to her. The little sweetie didn’t even open her eyes when Dani eased her out of the crib and into her arms. The baby’s warmth felt reassuring against her chest and Dani held her close before taking a breath and re-entering the living room.

  “Jess and her husband are clients of mine,” Eliot explained, after he and Jess had both taken a moment to admire the baby. “They came to me after Cole’s birth for some estate planning.”

  “We were concerned about what would happen to our children if something happened to us while they were so young. And then having a child with special needs made us worry all the more.”

  “How many children do you have?”

  “Three. Cole has an older brother and sister.”

  “Mom?” Cole interjected with a whisper. “I’m bored. Can I have the mini pad?” When she didn’t react, he added, “Please, Mom?”

  “Sure, honey.” Jess pulled a mini i-Pad from her purse and Dani was impressed to see the little boy touch, swipe and scroll his way around the screen, like an expert.

  “Wow, he knows what he’s doing.”

  “Yes. Like all little kids he loves technology. That’s why Eliot wanted us to come and see you today.” Jess reached across to touch Dani’s arm. “We didn’t know what to expect when Cole was born. We couldn’t help but worry. But then we joined a support group and learned that most children with Down Syndrome learn to talk, walk, read and play just like other children—though it may take them a little longer. We have Cole enrolled in a special school where he’s thriving.”

  “Mom! I got a high score!” Cole held out his hand for his mother to give him a high-five.

  The way Jess smiled at her son told Dani even more than her words had. She could see how much this child was loved and cared for. Just as she could see that while Cole looked a little different—his thick glasses magnified his almond-shaped eyes and his limbs and fingers were stubby—he was a happy child.

  The conversation flowed after that. Dani had so many questions and wished they could stay longer. But after half-an-hour the games had stopped entertaining Cole and he started to get a little whiney.

  “He’s tired,” Jess explained. “We really should be going.”

  But she left Dani with contact information for a support group, as well as for the nursery and grade schools that she’d found so wonderful for Cole.

  “Thank you so much for coming.” Dani was touched when Jess replied by giving her a hug.

  “Call me anytime if you need someone to talk to.”

  “I’m going to walk them out to their car and then I’ll be right back,” Eliot said, on his way out the door.

  “I’ll leave the door unlocked so you can come in. I’m going to give the baby a feeding and change her diaper.”

  Ten minutes later, Dani heard Eliot return. She was in the rocking chair, nursing the baby, but her daughter was so drowsy, she decided she might as well change her diaper and put her back in the crib. She was just settling her into the covers, when Eliot tapped on the bedroom door.

  “You okay in here?”

  “Yes. Almost done.” Dani gave her daughter a kiss, then turned to Eliot. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “The Churchills are quite the family.”

  “Yes.” She’d been in such a black hole since Adrian’s tirade at the hospital. So sure that she was the most selfish and stupid woman in the world. “Meeting Jess and Cole—it’s really given me hope.”

  “I’m glad.”

  Something in his voice made her look at him more closely. She felt heat rising up between them, an awareness of feelings that had been supressed for a very long time. Did he have any idea how attractive she found him? How much she respected and trusted and just plain liked him?

  “You’re such a great guy. Too bad you’re a confirmed bachelor.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “Is that how you see me?”

  She shrugged. “Dating a different woman every month. What else could I think?”

  “I haven’t dated anyone for a while now.”

  It was true. She tried to remember the last time she’d heard his voice switch to “charming” mode when he answered his phone, or seen him come home bleary-eyed after a late evening out.

  “What’s happening to you?” she said, trying to keep a teasing tone in her voice. Trying not to let him see how much she cared about his answer.

  “I’ve been wondering the same thing. I thought maybe I was tired of the whole dating scene. But then I realized it was more complicated than that. I was in love.”

  “In love.”

  He nodded. “In love with someone who’d been right under my nose for the past two years. But by the time I realized how I felt, she was dating someone else. Then, pregnant and having his baby.”

  Dani felt as if the room had started spinning. All these crazy, wonderful things. Was Eliot really saying them—to her?

  “I can’t even understand what I saw in Aidan anymore.”

  “I can. He was new to Seattle and the University. A grieving widower. A single father. Of course you were drawn to him, Dani. You wanted to heal him, the way you try to heal all the broken people and things in your life.”

  She wanted to tease him about being an armchair psychiatrist, but his assessment rang true. She could see the pattern herself now, not just with Adrian, but with other men she’d dated, what her college and grad school friends had called her “fix-it projects.”

  “The question on the table now,” Eliot continued. “Is whether I have a hope in hell with you? My timing isn’t good. I get that. But I can wait.”

  The steady light in his eyes told her that he could. And would.

  “No waiting necessary. I was already crazy about you this summer, when we were at the cottage. But—as you say—the timing was terrible.”

  Eliot held out his hands and when she reached for them, he pulled her in nice and close and kissed her. She’d been nervous about this kiss, wondering if the sexual pull between them could possibly match the emotional connection they already shared.

  It
did.

  *

  In his wildest dreams Eliot hadn’t expected the plan he’d concocted with Paige that morning to turn out this well. Mrs. Muddle. Jess and Cole Churchill. And now this.

  Them.

  Kissing in the hallway. Dani tasting and feeling like the woman he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. He ached to pick her up and carry her to the bed. The way she was kissing him back, she felt the same way.

  “I never thought I could feel so sexual right after having a baby,” she marveled.

  “Did your doctor happen to mention how long before you’ll be ready for sex?”

  “Four to six weeks.” She shrugged. “Give or take.”

  He groaned. “So it’s just kissing for now—”

  She took his hand. “Let’s make out on the couch like teenagers.”

  “I’m too old for this.” But it turned out he wasn’t. Because he couldn’t stop touching her. Kissing her. Marveling in the fact that she loved him back. How could he be so lucky? They were cuddled together on the couch fifteen minutes later, when the baby let out a squawk.

  Dani immediately tensed. “I’ll go get her.”

  “Let me.” He wanted to test out this theory of his. That he could love another man’s child just because it was Dani’s. She was flailing her little arms when he got to her, her face scrunched up like she was about to cry.

  “Hang on there, Peanut. You shouldn’t say a word without your attorney present.”

  His words seemed to calm her. Gently, he reached his hands under her body, making sure he had a secure hold, then brought her to his chest, blankets and all. He tucked her against his left pec. She sank right into him, like a mini heating pad. Her right cheek was pressed against his body so he could see her face, the button chin, the tiny nose, the dark fluff of hair. So tiny, precious and sweet.

  Oh, yes, loving this one was going to be easy, too.

  Chapter Seven

  October

  From the top of the rise, Dani could see the Circle C Ranch spread out before them. She felt a flutter of happiness, mixed with trepidation, and a dash of excitement. Coming home was always a highly emotional affair.

  “Impressive,” Eliot said. He was in the driver’s seat of the SUV they’d rented at the airport in Bozeman. They’d turned off the main road, through the iron gate bearing the Circle C brand, and over the cattle guards that prevented livestock from leaving the property. “How much land did you say your father owns?”

  “Pretty much everything you can see from here to the Gallatin Mountains.” Dani was sitting in the back, so she could keep an eye on Beverly in her rear-facing, infant traveling seat. It was a big trip for a three-week old infant. The baby had been a dream on the short flight from Seattle to Missoula. At the airport Dani had nursed her and changed her, and she’d been asleep since the moment they put her in the rented SUV and started driving.

  Dani had wished she could bring Mrs. Muddle with them on the trip, but her sisters, Portia and Wren had all promised to help her. She’d learned that when it came to newborns, it really did take a village and holing herself up alone in her condo had really not been a healthy thing to do.

  She leaned forward, resting an arm on Eliot’s seat, her hand on his shoulder. The aspen had begun to turn, and their gold leaves were dancing in the breeze amid the dark green pines that framed her family home and the outbuildings that surrounded it.

  The two-story, Montana-styled log home where she’d grown up was looking in top form for her sister’s wedding. A huge white tent had been put up near her mother’s old gardens, the outbuildings looked freshly whitewashed, and the grass fields around the home were mowed and trimmed. As they drew nearer they could see barrels of orange and gold chrysanthemums flanking the porch. Sitting on the gliding rocker on the front porch, on look-out duty no doubt, sat her eldest sister Mattie with a man Dani did not recognize.

  The day after Mrs. Muddle came into her life, Dani had phoned her sisters and had spoken to them for about an hour each. She’d told them all about her affair with Adrian, her pregnancy and her new daughter. She’d also explained about Eliot. What his friendship had meant to her. And how that friendship had changed into something much deeper. What hadn’t been discussed much was the Down Syndrome. She’d touched on it ever so lightly, as if it was a trivial matter. And her sisters had reacted with equal care, not saying much, though she could hear the worry and concern in the tone of their voices.

  During her call with Mattie, she’d found out that her older sister had been supported during her split from her husband Wes, by the rancher next door, Nat Diamond. Nat had been a perfect gentleman, Mattie explained, until the divorce was finalized. But since then, she’d discovered that they shared many passions—including one for each other.

  Her sister and new beau were standing now, trying to make out who was driving the SUV, no doubt. Since Dani was in the back, and they’d never met Eliot, they were probably confused.

  Mattie had said that Nat was good looking—but she hadn’t warned Dani to expect a man who looked like Dr. McDreamy on Grey’s Anatomy, only taller. “Oh. My. God. He’s gorgeous.”

  “Perhaps,” Eliot said. “But probably not nearly as charming or intelligent as the man you’re bringing home for the old man’s approval.”

  Dani’s light mood immediately darkened. “My father’s approval doesn’t mean a thing to me. As far as I’m concerned he’s just a mean, old goat. I do hope my sisters like you, though.”

  “Charm the sisters. Check.”

  Eliot parked the SUV in line with a string of other vehicles including Callan’s vintage Dodge truck and their father’s rusting blue SUV. Judging by the license plate numbers, Dani guessed the big silver truck was probably Nat Diamond’s. She had no idea about the other truck, which looked brand-spanking new.

  By now Mattie had figured out who they were and was running to greet them. She had the back door open by the time Dani had the infant car seat unlatched.

  “You’re here! It’s so good to see you! Now, pass me that baby, I’ve been dying to meet her.”

  “She really has,” Nat said dryly. “God help us if and when Portia and Wren have children. She’s going to be one doting grandmother.” He stepped forward to shake Eliot’s hand and introduce himself. Dani gave him a brief smile and a hug, but her attention was on her sister. How would she react when she saw Beverly’s face?

  “Oh, my, she is just the most precious thing. Hold this would you, honey?” Mattie passed the car seat to Nat, who did as requested, keeping it steady as she undid the straps to release the baby.

  Beverly’s eyes were wide open now as she gazed with interest at her new surroundings. Dani felt herself tensing, waiting for someone to mention the almond-shaped eyes, but all Mattie did was exclaim again how beautiful she was. Only after she’d planted kisses on both of Beverly’s cheeks, did she finally turn to Eliot.

  “Hi, I’m Mattie. Sorry if I got a little carried away there. We haven’t had any babies in this family since my twins were born. And they’re almost twenty now.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mattie. I’m happy to play second fiddle to Beverly anytime.”

  Mattie’s eyes widened when he said the name. She turned to Dani. “You named her after Mom.”

  “I hope you don’t mind.” She was worried that her sisters might feel that a less-than-perfect—in some eyes—baby wasn’t worthy of their mother’s name. But Mattie quelled that silliness with a big hug.

  “How perfect. Mom would be so honored.”

  *

  Round one was over and he was still standing. Eliot shouldered the diaper bag, then grabbed two suitcases, leaving Nat to carry the portable crib. As the two men followed the women toward the house, Eliot noticed Nat was walking with a slight limp.

  Dani had explained that he had been recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but other than the limp, Nat seemed strong and perfectly healthy.

  “You ready for this?” Dani paused at the large woode
n door to ask him.

  “Bring it on.”

  She gave him a brilliant smile, then followed her sister inside.

  Eliot’s first impression of her family home was of strength and durableness. Heavy wood beams, plank flooring and an impressive river rock fireplace grounded the structure. The furnishings were practical and solid, and the paintings on the walls reflected the natural beauty of the Montana landscape. In her Seattle condo, Dani had created a world for herself that totally removed from this. Her father, Eliot knew, was the reason for that.

  And it was also the reason he was interested—if also trepidatious—to meet the man. But the reality was underwhelming. Hawksley Carrigan was seated in a leather arm chair as they entered the family room en masse. He seemed reluctant to set aside his newspaper and rise to greet them. He was shorter than Eliot had expected, with a wiry build and shoulders stooped with age. His thin hair was gray, as was the two-day stubble on his face.

  “You’re back,” was all he said to Dani, clasping her on the shoulder, rather than giving her a hug and a kiss. “I heard you had a baby.” But he barely glanced at the bundle in Mattie’s hands.

  Eliot could tell Dani was relieved that he hadn’t taken a closer look. She’d been tensed for a reaction similar to the one she’d had from Adrian. But, it was odd that this man didn’t seem even a little interested in his new granddaughter.

  “We’re naming her Beverly, Dad,” Dani said.

  His eyes widened at that. If Eliot wasn’t mistaken, they even filled with tears. But all he said was, “Good. That’s a good choice.” He turned to Eliot next. “And you’re the lawyer she’s taken up with.”

  He’d made him sound like a flavor of the month, but Eliot didn’t object. One day he was going to marry Dani, and this old man would know then that he was in this for the long haul. He shook the man’s hand, surprised to find a strong, vice-like grip.

  In the dining room off the kitchen they found more family, sitting around a large wooden table and packaging chocolates into small copper-colored boxes.