by Lisa Morrow
I turned to look at the wall of mirrors, at my own reflection. The hopelessness in my face jolted something inside of me. So many things were out of my control, but not this. I could learn, until I discovered something to at least help me with Asher and Sirena, if not all of Tarak.
“Ready?”
Looking back at her, I nodded.
She spoke the name. It caressed down my spine and sank through my pores, searching inside me for something that could never be found. Goosebumps erupted across my flesh, and I clutched my arms. Listening as Blair cried the name, like a terrified child crying for their mom. But it was as if a non-existent wind snatched the name, tossing it cruelly around.
“Did you learn it?”
I opened my eyes, just realizing I’d closed them. “I think so.”
“Then, I want you to find the blue sapphire I hid in this room earlier. It is flawless. The size of my thumb, and will be set into a ring one day.”
Picturing the stone, I cleared my throat. “Antona, Antona…” Testing out her name, I weighed it on my tongue, feeling the wrongness of it. Releasing my arms, I walked across the hardwood floors, listening to the sound of my feet stomping across the floor. How had Blair moved so soundlessly? “Antona, Antona,” goosebumps erupted across my skin, “Antona.”
Warmth spread from me. When I walked, my feet moved as if controlled by someone else, leading me with sure steps to the opposite side of the room. I reached one of the weapon racks, then knelt down and searched.
No sapphire.
Just as my frustration mounted, and I’d thought the spell had lead me wrong, I turned a small shield over to find the sparkle of the sapphire on the ground beneath it.
“Here it is.”
She was by my side in an instant, picking it up. “Very good.”
I stood, feeling proud. I knew this goddess’s name. Next time, it would be far easier to use.
Grinning, I spoke without thinking. “I like this one. It’s good to know I’ll never lose anything again.”
Blair frowned, missing my joking tone. “As with all our spells, this one has its limitations. If you tried to find an item in the woods far from here, you’d have no more than a tingling of the right direction. If you tried to find something in the closest city to us, chances are you would feel nothing at all.”
“Like how I can’t start a forest fire in the capital city.”
She nodded. “No, not unless you were standing just outside of it.”
I stretched, trying to work out the kinks in my muscles. This spell hadn’t been hard. Some of them left me with the kind of exhaustion that made it hard to get down the stairs. With this one, I felt little more than a familiar tension in my muscles.
“Your training has progressed well.” Blair tucked the sapphire into a pouch she pulled out of the folds of fabric around her thin, silver belt. The movement tugged at her sleeve, revealing her own Protectors’ mark burned into her wrist. “In times of peace, you’d be trained for many months, if not a full year. But these are not peaceful times.”
My stomach clenched. “What does that mean?”
Blair sighed. “Soon you will have to take on the role of Protector… it will no longer be in name only.”
“I’m not doing a Choosing, if that’s what you are saying,”
Anger flashed across her face. “That is not what I’m saying. But let me make something clear to you, I’ve let you pretend for long enough that you aren’t one of us. You are. And whatever we, I, ask you to do. You will do.”
I shook my head. “I’m not one of you.”
She strode away from me, but stopped when she reached the stairs. “Our sources say the undead wizards will be able to attack again in a week’s time. We no longer have enough roses to drain to keep the shield up… it will fail, and the final battle will take place.” She met my gaze. “So I need to know, what’s your plan? You’ve seen what Tarak faces. You’ve seen that The Protectors need your help. What will you do?”
Indecision filled me. Should I lie? No. It was better she know now.
“I plan to save Asher and Sirena. Nothing else matters after that.”
Shaking her head, she looked at me, eyes wide. “You’ll save Sirena if you end this war. But Asher… even if he wasn’t dead, he’s a wizard. The two of you have no future together.”
I clenched my fists. “You don’t know that.”
Blair looked young and afraid as she responded. “If that boy had any chance at living a normal life, and not being hunted down for what he is, his only chance would be away from you.” She shook herself and pushed away from the doorway. “He’s dead, Rose. But even if he wasn’t, the best thing you could do for him would be to stay away from him. Do you understand? If the queen receives word of him… just forget about him. For both your sakes.”
“But why? If there’s one thing I’ve learned while here, it’s that what happened to the wizards was unfair. We have just as much potential to do harm as they do, so why can’t Asher be released? No one else needs to know about him.”
Blair started pacing again. “You are so ignorant.”
I glared. “How so?”
She stopped. “What happened to the wizards was unfair, but you’re wrong about them and us. We do have a potential to be evil, just as they did. Yet underneath it all, they’re far more dangerous than we are.”
“Why?”
She rubbed her face, glancing at the ceiling. “We’re limited by the strength of our magic. If we need more, we have to get it from other Protectors or the roses, which is what makes The Orb and our order so necessary. Wizards, on the other hand, can fuel their magic with any living creature, be it human, animal, or plant.”
Just the thought of it made me ill. “So they’re unstoppable?”
“Not quite.” Her gaze pierced me. “Such dark magic has consequences. They twist the user until their mind and body transform. It sends them into a stupor, making it hard for them to think and act as they once did. Most Blood Wizards eventually disappeared into near isolation. Happy to do little more than exist, as long as their appetite for magic was filled. Many men, who had grand plans of conquering and ruling, forgot such desires as long as their addiction was met.”
“Then why did they need to be killed?”
Misery tugged at her face. “Only Sazar and his brothers seemed to keep ravaging our kingdom, unsatisfied no matter how much they killed and destroyed. The other wizards… they were just victims of the queens fears.”
I gathered my thoughts for a moment, processing all she had said. “So you’re afraid Asher will do the same as Sazar and his brothers?”
Her body stiffened. “Of course not!” She took a deep breath that seemed to shake her whole frame. “But with how dangerous they are, the queen wouldn’t allow him to survive. His only chance is to leave Tarak far behind.”
“I could leave with him.”
She shook her head. “I told you he was dead… but more than that, you won’t be free for a long time.”
I ignored her pointless argument about Asher. “But I thought after the war was over—”
“You must serve your time, as we all must.”
My brain pulsed uncomfortably. “But after the war, Sirena will be free.”
Her tone softened. “Yes.”
“All right.” I stared at her. “But I won’t use the flowers again, no matter what.”
She looked like she might argue, but instead said, “has Meisha taught you how to use The Orb? To fuel your magic with the powers from the other Protectors?”
I shook my head. “No, but she’s warned me about the consequences.”
“Good. Still, you must practice using it.”
I stiffened. “I don’t want to.”
She crossed the room and stopped in front of me. “It may be a choice between life or death for you. Do you really not want to be taught how to use this tool?”
Swallowing hard, my voice shook as I spoke. “I guess I should learn.”
I took a step away from her. “But then you can steal my powers from me?”
Her smile spread into a grin. “I could try it, and might just be powerful enough to take a little bit before you could stop me. But it takes several times to form a relationship where I could steal magic from you, and you couldn’t stop me.”
I didn’t want to believe her, but Meisha had said something similar. So very slowly, I let my guard down, opening myself up to her.
A scent of daisies rushed over me, along with flashes of yellow. I sensed her magic, identifying her as easily as her voice.
Seconds later, I sensed her tugging at my magic, pulling it out of me and into her.
I threw my walls up, and she was gone.
“What was that?” I asked, accusation in my voice.
Blair frowned. “I was showing you how it is done, as we discussed. Now, it’s your turn to do the same to me.”
I rubbed my arms, glaring at her.
She stared back.
After a time, the sensation of someone touching something intimate and personal faded. Ever so slightly, I let down my guard. It was easier to find her daisy scent, tied to her magic. I tugged at it and felt a small surge of magic.
Her walls slammed up.
I could no longer sense her.
“So you see how it’s done?” she asked, her voice even.
“Yes.”
She brushed back a loose strand of hair. “In battle, all you must do is lower your shields, reach out, and call for the help of others. Every Protector, connected through The Orb, will hear your cry and decide whether or not to lend their magic to you.”
“But if they do, anyone who gives me magic may be able to take some from me later on?”
Her expression grew grim. “Yes. So make sure you really need their help, because it will come at a high cost.”
We stared at one another.
“Any other questions? I have other things to do…”
Blair always seemed to be in a rush. But the thought of the amazing food no doubt awaiting me in the dining hall, and my soft bed, called to me. Luxuries I was growing more and more used to each day, the problems of my old life fading away like most memories.
Suddenly, a guilty thought occurred to me. “Can someone bring my father some money?”
Her eyes widened. “Your father? But I have no doubt the man went after your mother the moment you left.”
“What?” I stared at her in shock.
Her mouth snapped shut. “I shouldn’t have—”
My pulse raced. “Please, Blair.”
“No.”
But even though she denied me, indecision flickered across her face. And I knew, if I kept asking, she would tell me.
“I need to know,” I pressed.
Her jaw clenched. “We aren’t supposed to talk about either of your parents.”
“But you could, if you wanted to,” I insisted. “And knowing the truth might help me learn to trust you.”
She studied me. “All right. I’ll tell you what I can.”
I tried my best to conceal my excitement, afraid it might silence her words.
“The Fates foretold that your mother would be the one to end the war with the wizards, but she refused to join us. So the queen went to the three goddesses and asked them what needed to be done. They told her of a place your mother could be held, so that her only daughter could fulfill the prophecy. Your father tried to save your mother, so Nazar cursed him, forcing him to care for you until The Protectors took you.”
My face felt numb. “So where are my parents now?”
“That I can’t tell you.” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. “I’ve said too much already.”
She turned, without looking back, and strode down the stairs, disappearing from sight.
My legs shook.
I lowered myself slowly to the floor. Is that why my father seemed to resent caring for me so much? Because I was the reason he couldn’t save my mother?
My stomach turned. He must have been her One. Each day away from her was probably torture.
But there was nothing I could do about the past now.
I tried to ignore the confusing array of emotions churning through me. One day I’d try to find my parents, to meet the woman who had no doubt endured horrible things to be returned to me and my father. For now, I needed to focus on helping to end this war and get Sirena back, and to find Asher before Blair did something terrible to him.
So what could I do?
The answer hit me like a slap.
Chapter Eighteen
Rising to my feet, I scrambled out of the room, down the stairs, and through the halls. A few Protectors cast me curious glances, and I tried my best to look free of guilt.
When I came out into the courtyard, hope blossomed inside of me… but also anxiety. I’d have no more than two hours before Clarissa would expect me back in the training room, and yet, these women kept me so busy there’d be no better time.
Making certain no one was watching, I left the path and weaved through the wild garden, not stopping until I was far enough not to be seen by unwanted eyes.
“Here goes nothing,” I mumbled to myself.
Closing my eyes, I thought of Asher. The smell of earth filled my nostrils. And the thought of him holding me closely wrapped me like a blanket. “Antona, Antona.”
The moment I spoke the goddess’ name, I was tugged in one direction. Running, I allowed the magic to guide me. But when it finally stopped, I’d been led to an ordinarily looking wall. The faces of several goddesses were carved onto the stone, but moss obscured parts of them.
“Now what?”
I tried to smooth the moss off, to touch, to explore each piece of stone, but nothing happened. After several minutes of pushing, shoving, and pounding on the stone, I admitted that the spell hadn’t worked.
Frustration pounded through my blood. My first real idea, and I’d failed.
Back at the path, I couldn’t bring myself to return to the castle. Letting my feet lead me, I stepped outside of the courtyard and onto the small patch of land surrounding the castle. The cold hit me with a surprising force, and I suddenly wished I’d have at least brought my cloak. The blue dress I wore was made of velvet, giving me a small bit of comfort, but the cold quickly dug its vicious fingers into my exposed flesh.
But I couldn’t go back. Yet. Not with my failure swimming through me like poison. Not to the people who’d tied my magic to their Orb. Not to the people who trained me for something I’d never want to be. And not to the little voice that told me to give up on Asher and Sirena, and to embrace my new life.
“Are you all right?”
I whirled to find Meisha watching me. Her hair was wrapped in a white silk cloth. A flowing, pale yellow dress swished around her ankles as she crunched through the snow, heading straight for me.
“I’m fine.”
Reaching inside the pocket of her gown, she pulled out something and held it out to me. “I got you a gift.”
“What is it?” I asked, in no mood for more of these women’s nonsense.
She pointed at my wrist. “To hide your mark.”
I held out my hand, and she dropped the item into my palm. It was a simple leather bracelet made of a fine quality.
“Many of the women wear something of this kind.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, tying it onto my wrist.
If not for her and the others, I wouldn’t have had a mark to hide.
She tilted her head as her tender gaze swept over my face. “You are thinking of your One.”
It was like a punch to my stomach. I gasped, fighting back the tears threatening to overwhelm me. Yes, even though I kept failing Asher, he was constantly in my thoughts. But no, I didn’t want to talk about it with one of the women keeping
him from me.
“I don’t want to—” I choked back a sob.
She waited for me to gather myself before speaking. “I understand.”
Anger replaced my sorrow in a flash. “But you can go to him whenever you want. I can’t! She took Asher from me, and I don’t know if I can ever get him back.”
Meisha tried to touch my shoulder, but I pulled away. Her hand dropped back to her side. “I also cannot return to my man.”
“Yeah. Right.”
She turned to go, but stopped. “My sister, Kamilah, and I were both Chosen. But she was not powerful enough. She too was turned into a flower. If I serve my time, and my sister survives, I may take her home with me.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Meet me outside your room, in twenty minutes time. Blair’s orders.”
The wind played with the thin fabric of her dress as she left me standing, too shocked to speak. I wanted to hate her. To hate all of them. But my heart betrayed me. Meisha and I really were more similar than I ever wanted to believe.
Rubbing my arms, I kept walking through the snow, and away from Meisha. Red roses dotted the grounds around the castle more and more until I felt I could walk no farther without stepping on one. And I would not risk stepping on one. Any one of them could be Sirena. Or Kamilah.
Or not.
Picturing the freckled, round-cheeked face of my best friend Sirena, I spoke the familiar word. “Antona.”
The tugging led me forward until I stopped before a red rose, like any other. Cautiously, I pushed away the snow and used my uneven fingernails to dig out a small bit of dirt around the flower. When I stood, the rose and its rootless stem lay in my hands. A surge of relief ran through me.
But I wasn’t done yet.
I didn’t know Kamilah, but I pictured Meisha as I thought her sister’s name. “Antona.”
This time I was led to the opposite side of the land surrounding the castle, to another rose. I dug this out too. Then, I ran back inside the castle. My nails were torn and bleeding from digging into the frozen earth. My face was numb, but joy filled me.
Out of the tool shed, I took two pots and filled them with soil, then planted both flowers. Sneaking to my bedroom, I set them on the windowsill before washing and cleaning my hands.
