by S. Nelson
“Quinn,” I greeted. “Nice to see you again.” She parted her lips to say something in response but was interrupted before she could do so.
“So, you’re the cop who pulled my sister over and treated her like shit.” The other woman’s words didn’t form a question but instead an accurate statement.
“Sister?” I didn’t know why my tone rose to that inflection because deep down, I knew they were related.
“Yeah. She went on and on about you when she got home that night, telling me what an ass you were.”
“I didn’t go on and on,” Quinn interjected, averting her eyes from mine briefly before casting them back.
“I apologized for my behavior the very next time I saw her. And again when I saw her outside China Queen.”
“She told me.”
The movement was subtle, but I saw Quinn smack the top of her sister’s leg. “Don’t mind Avery. She’s just looking out for me.” I couldn’t remember the name I heard her coworkers call her, but then again, I didn’t pay much attention to anything other than how much scotch was ever left in my glass during my prior visits.
“My brother does the same for me.” The muscles in my cheeks started to ache, and I hadn’t even been smiling that long. But I supposed that happened when the only other expression I wore was a scowl. A whole other group of muscles were enacted to appear anything other than miserable.
“Was that who you were with the other day? Your brother?” Avery asked.
“Yes. My younger brother, Will.”
“Is he single?” Quinn’s eyes widened at her sister’s inquisitiveness.
“No. He’s engaged.”
“Are you single?”
“Okay.” Quinn finally interrupted. “That’s enough interrogation.” She turned to fully face me, and I was thankful I didn’t have to answer Avery’s last question. Technically, I was single, but my heart screamed otherwise. “Sorry about that.”
“That’s okay.” I peeked at Avery and caught her giving me a once-over, smirking when she caught me looking. She didn’t seem to appear embarrassed she just got caught checking me out. Then again, I’d much rather be on the receiving end of admiration than suspicion or distaste. Locking eyes with Quinn, I extended my hand toward her. “Care to join me for that drink now?” My palm remained untouched as she contemplated my offer. “I know it’s not coffee, but I think this will work out much better.”
“Why? Plan on getting me drunk?” Her hazel eyes darkened with the question.
“Not at all. Just some light conversation.” She seemed disappointed, but I could’ve read her frown incorrectly. “Shall we?” Shall we? When the hell did I ever use that phrase before?
“I guess there’s no harm.” Quinn looked to her sister before she moved an inch.
“Go. I have to check on my schedule anyway.” The other woman hopped off her chair, giving me a stern glance before she headed toward the kitchen. I couldn’t blame her for being skeptical of me. In all the times she’s ever seen me, I’d been sullen and quiet, never speaking more than two words to anyone while here. And to top it off, the first thing she heard about me from her sister was that I was a colossal ass.
Before my internal berating took hold, Quinn slid her hand into mine, allowing me to help her from her seat and lead her back toward the other end of the bar where I’d previously been.
“Did you already pay the ticket I gave you?” I hated referencing that night at all, but there was a reason I asked the question.
“Yes.” We sat close, our knees resting against the other.
“Already?”
“I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget. I don’t need a suspended license because I didn’t pay it on time.”
“Then let me reimburse you.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel bad.”
She studied me for a few seconds before pursing her lips. “You can keep feeling bad for a little while longer. Revel in it.” I smiled when she did, her tone teasing, yet I believed there was a hint of seriousness in her words. I couldn’t say I blamed her.
She took a sip of her wine, then looked me up and down so quickly I almost missed the flick of her gaze. “This is the first time I’ve seen you out of your uniform.”
I looked down at myself even though I was aware of what I wore. “What do you think?” I asked, holding my breath without realizing, eager for her approval.
“You do casual nicely.”
“As do you.”
She wore a sheer white blouse, but the top she wore underneath shielded her from being exposed. Her distressed jeans hugged her figure. I knew as much when I’d stolen a glance a few moments ago when she stood up.
“Thank you.”
Both of us took a drink, the silence following awkward yet exhilarating. My heart hadn’t beat this fast in years, and for as much as I wanted to ask her a hundred questions about herself, I kept my mouth closed until I could compose myself. On the inside, I was freaking out, even though I appeared calm and somewhat nonchalant. Unfortunately for me, I’d had more than enough practice wearing a mask.
Another sip later and I decided that if I didn’t say something soon, she might get bored, thank me for the drink I just had the bartender bring her, and leave.
“Can I ask why—”
“How long have you—”
It seemed we were both in a rush to speak first.
We shared a chuckle at the mishap. “You go.”
“How long have you been a cop?” Quinn ran her finger up and down her glass, then played with the stem while waiting for me to answer.
“Thirteen years. I graduated from California State with a criminal justice degree before going into the academy.”
“Do you like it? Or are you always as grumpy as you were that night?” Her expression deadpanned, and another ripple of regret began to rise, but she bumped my shoulder with hers before I became uncomfortable.
“I do like it. And no, I’m not always that grumpy.” I stopped speaking and looked upward before continuing. “That’s only half true. The only thing I can say is that I wasn’t always like that, like this.”
“What happened?” She turned in her seat, angling her body to the side, then crossed her legs. Her right elbow rested on the lip of the bar as her left arm hung over the top of her wooden chair, pushing her chest toward me. It took every ounce of restraint not to stare at how her shirt molded around her breasts.
“Life.”
“Such as?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The bite to my tone escaped before I could reel it back in. “So, how about you?” Deflection had always worked for me in the past, and I prayed it did now, as well. “Do you like your job?”
“I do. It’s stressful, even heartbreaking at times, but I feel like I’m making a difference, even if it’s just a small one.”
“I’m sure you are.” I nodded to the bartender for another drink, but instead of just pouring me a new one, she sauntered over and grinned.
She pointed at the woman next to me. “How did you get this one talking? I don’t think he’s ever said more than two words in here.” She slid the glass toward me, her eyes bouncing from Quinn to me and back again.
“He’s not normally a chatterbox?” she asked, laughing when the other woman’s eyes popped open. “I guess he’s just shy.” Smacking my arm, she questioned, “Is that what it is? Are you just typically shy?”
“I’ve never been called that before. I guess I didn’t want to talk to anyone before you.”
“Ouch,” the blondie behind the bar mumbled, laughing when I realized I’d kind of insulted her without meaning to. “Don’t worry. No harm. You’re hot but too old for me.” She looked to be barely legal, so I was sure I appeared ancient at the age of thirty-five. She left us alone after her half compliment, Quinn smug as could be next to me.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she replied, but the smile on her face indicated a lie. It wasn’t not
hing. It was something.
“What?” I gently smacked her knee, curiosity holding me captive as to what she’d say next.
“She’s right,” she finally said.
“About what?”
“You are hot. But I don’t think you’re old.”
“I’m older than you.” I didn’t want to focus on the compliment of her finding me attractive because I didn’t want to follow where that road might lead. There was something between us, at the very least an attraction, but even though I refused to acknowledge it in its entirety, I believed our connection was deeper. Why I thought such a thing baffled me, but I didn’t possess the emotional strength to dissect it.
“How old are you?” she asked, twirling a strand of her dark locks. Whatever inhibitions she held earlier drifted away, and I had every reason to believe it was because she started in on another glass of wine. I hoped she didn’t plan on driving home, though. Fuck that. Even if she did, I wouldn’t allow it. I’d make sure she’d get home safe and sound, even if I had to pick her up tomorrow to bring her back here to get her car if she drove here at all. Imagining the possibility of seeing her again so soon made me feel things I couldn’t readily describe. If Will was here with me, he’d say I was happy, but that wasn’t the right word for what I felt.
Hopeful was the best choice for what plagued me in the moment.
And that scared me.
13
Quinn
Even without his uniform, Nolan exhibited an air of authority. It was in the square of his shoulders and the sharpness of his eyes, as if he were always aware of his surroundings. There was no question he was a handsome man, and while we sat together talking and flirting, I couldn’t shake the sense that there was a deep sadness inside him. But I hardly knew him well enough for my suspicion to be more than a feeling.
“I’m thirty-five.”
“You don’t look a day over thirty-four,” I teased, touching his arm. His eyes followed the movement of my hand, the heat of his stare sending a shockwave of nerves my way, but in the best way possible. I’d never had this kind of reaction to a man, not even when I first started dating Todd.
“How about you? Or am I not supposed to ask a woman her age? I can’t remember the rules.” The tip of his smile gave me goose bumps, and for a moment, I was unable to properly focus on his question, lost to the image of his tongue running over the plumpness of his bottom lip. I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Were his lips as soft as they looked? Would he be aggressive or tender or a mixture of both? “Did I offend you?”
The deep timbre of his voice knocked me out of my illusory. “What?” I quickly looked away, embarrassed at the possibility he was aware I was just fantasizing about having his mouth on me. “Not at all.” Composure was key if I didn’t want to trip over my words, my flustered state having nothing to do with the wine I’d consumed. Okay, maybe the wine contributed a tiny bit. “I’m twenty-six, soon to be twenty-seven in a few months. But who’s counting?” I made a mental note to slow down on the alcohol, or I might just be brave enough to demand he kiss me.
“You’re still young,” he said, and if I wasn’t mistaken by the tone of his voice, he might have a problem with me being nine years his junior, eight and some change depending on what month his birthday fell into.
“Is that a problem?”
“Why would it be a problem?”
“Do you think I’m too young for you?”
“Too young for me?” He seemed genuinely confused. Maybe I’d been reading too much into our interactions. Maybe he wasn’t interested in me at all, which should be all right with me as I wasn’t looking to date anyone, but his possible unspoken rejection stung more than I thought it would.
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” My laugh was riddled with nerves. Draining the rest of my wine, I motioned to Mandy for a refill.
“I hope you’re not planning on driving home.” Nolan leaned closer, the subtle note of his cologne making me want to bury my nose in the crook of his neck and breathe him in. The smell reminded me of the outdoors mixed with a hint of spice.
“Would you pull me over if I did?” My question wasn’t serious as I wouldn’t even think of driving my car after consuming several glasses of wine, but he didn’t know that, which was obvious when his expression morphed into one of irritation.
“Don’t even joke about that, Quinn. I think people who get behind the wheel drunk are some of the most selfish.”
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head as I said, “I wasn’t serious. I would never do that.”
The brief awkward quiet made me think I’d overstepped some imaginary line he’d set, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask him about it. He’d probably seen some horrific accidents over the years, which could be why he was so adamant about the subject, but the fleeting sadness, or what I viewed to be sadness, disappeared before I could be sure.
“I didn’t mean to react that way,” he finally said. “It’s just that it hits too close to home for me.”
“Me too,” I responded, kicking myself for even joking about it in the first place. What the hell was I thinking? “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” He drained the rest of his drink and ordered another. “You’re doing a great job of distracting me. I haven’t had four drinks in a row in quite some time.” His complete switch up was appreciated, allowing our conversation to push forward when I thought it all but died.
“I’m happy to oblige.” Mandy pushed another glass of wine toward me. “This will be my last one, though, because I’m already feeling good.” My entire body was warm, and I bet if I looked in a mirror, I’d see the evidence in my cheeks. “I’m not a big drinker, but it’s been a tough day.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No.” I responded the same way he did a few seconds prior. “I’d rather not.”
“I can understand that.” He leaned in again, closer than before. “I believe we share more things in common than we thought.” His lips were but an inch from mine, and had we been alone right then, I believed I would’ve gone in for a kiss, the prior seriousness of our conversation be damned.
Nolan moved back, and as I feasted on his obscenely handsome face, his gaze swallowed mine. “What are you thinking about?” My words barely came out above a whisper.
“Can I ask you something?” He answered my question with one of his own, a clear case of avoidance.
“Sure.”
“What happened the other day that you needed me to assist on a routine check?”
All signs of flirting were gone as he changed the subject to that of work. I hesitated answering, remembering the reason why I needed someone to go with me to the Grendons’. The fear I’d felt the moment Ray confronted me resurfaced, and I used the word confronted loosely.
“Linda, the woman whose house we were at, her husband is abusive, as you know. Well, a few weeks ago when I went by to check on her and the boys, he showed up, yelling at me to leave his family alone, that no one was going to take his kids away from him.” I glanced down at my hands, playing with the band of my watch before picking my head back up. “He slammed me against the wall and threatened to make me disappear if I ever went there again.”
The slight flare of his nostrils indicated he was upset. “Did you end up calling the cops?”
“Yes, but not as soon as it happened.”
“Why not?” He lowered his voice once he realized how loud he’d been.
“Because I didn’t want their case to be given to anyone else. I’m invested in their family and want to help them.”
“You’re not going to help anyone if you end up in a dumpster somewhere.”
“I know. That’s why I told my boss what happened and agreed to press charges. Now all the cops have to do is find the bastard.”
He slammed back the rest of his drink and covered the top with a coaster. “Promise me you won’t go back there again without me.”
“I can’t—”
&nb
sp; “Promise me, Quinn.” His insistence should’ve irritated me, but instead I was comforted.
“Fine. But what if you can’t be there? I can’t not show up when I need to.”
Nolan reached for my hand, the heat of his touch almost making me forget what we were talking about. “If I can’t go, I’ll send one of the other guys.”
I had to admit that although I didn’t like him having a say when it came to me doing my job, I felt safer about my upcoming visits to the Grendons.
14
Nolan
For the next hour, we talked about work and hobbies, of which I had none. Not anymore. I told her I loved to hike in my free time, which wasn’t completely a lie as I’d done it often before my life changed. And for the first time in years, I looked forward to one day getting back out there in nature, to feel the sun on my back and the breeze in my face as I hiked my favorite trails.
Quinn was not only beautiful and witty, but she was easy to talk to. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt comfortable chatting with anyone other than Will, and even most of those conversations were tense.
“I have to confess something,” she said, pushing her empty glass toward Mandy, shaking her head when asked if she wanted a refill.
“Oh no. Am I going to like this?”
“It’s not bad.” She laughed, and my heart suddenly didn’t hurt as much. “After we ran into each other getting food, I went home and tried looking you up on social media, but I couldn’t find you. Are you under a nickname?”
“No.”
“So, you aren’t on social media, then?”
“No,” I repeated.
“Can I ask why?”
“Sure.” I smirked when she did, not answering right away. “I prefer to keep my private life just that… private.”
She nodded. “Although it’s a rarity these days, I understand. People can be awful sometimes, even without knowing all the facts.”
“Meaning?” It wasn’t Quinn’s response that piqued my curiosity, per se, but the way the corners of her mouth turned down and the defeated look that danced across her face.
