by S. Nelson
Nolan yanked my head back again. “I wanna hear you.” His voice dipped lower. “Fuck! I can feel you gripping me.” His breaths were heavy and uneven.
My lungs screamed from lack of oxygen, my muscles strained and rigid as I rode out my orgasm. Only after I peaked did I take in air, moaning and writhing from the aftershocks continuing to pulsate through me.
He covered my body with his, pumping his hips faster as his lips melded with mine.
Our kiss was frantic.
Needy.
Primal.
He pulled back and gripped my waist, digging his fingers in almost to the point of pain. He was relentless with every thrust, surging forward over and over. His head fell back on a groan, the circling of his hips slowing as his breathing evened out.
A moment later, he fell to his back, twisting me so I crashed on top of him. “Goddamn, that was amazing.”
“Yes, it was,” I agreed, circling his nipple with my finger. He twitched and I laughed. “Ticklish?”
“No.” I moved to repeat the motion and he grabbed my hand. “Okay, maybe a little.”
Lying on his chest like before, I was lulled into a deep peace, both from the rhythmic beat of his heart and my complete satiation.
“Quinn?” His voice startled me, and I flinched. “Sorry. There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Hmm….” I was too lazy for words right now, only sounds.
His chest rose as he took a deep breath. “Three years ago, I—” A generic ringtone pierced the air. “Hold on.” He sighed. “That’s work.” Nolan leaned to the side and I moved the opposite way so I could lie on my back while he took his call. “Yeah?” He sounded a touch annoyed. There was a brief pause on his end as he listened. “What time?” Another pause. “All right. I’ll be in.” He hung up without saying goodbye. That was another of my pet peeves I’d be sure to tell him about as soon as I could muster the strength to speak. “I have to go to work. One of the other guys, Griggs, had a family emergency.” I didn’t respond right away. “Quinn?” I heard him, but all I wanted to do was stay in this moment of pure satisfaction and peace. “I thought only guys passed out after sex.” He poked my side and I groaned.
“Guys don’t own that.”
He poked me again, and this time I gathered all my energy into a ball and pounced on top of him.
“Watch the balls, woman.” Laughing, he crushed me to him, nuzzling into my neck and sucking the sensitive skin between his glorious lips.
“Don’t you dare give me a hickey. We are too damn old for that.”
“What if I want to mark you?”
“Do you want to pee on me too?” Silence. “Nolan,” I griped.
“I’m thinking.”
“Eww.”
His deep chuckle vibrated through me. “Let’s go.” The sting of his slap on my ass registered before the sound of his hand cutting through the air.
“I want to stay right here for the rest of the night.”
“Me too. But I still have to feed you. Then I have to cover a shift.”
“Okay.” I sulked and fell on my back when he climbed out of bed, his bare ass becoming my number one focus. The man looked like he was carved from every woman’s fantasy. “You’re the one who has an incredible body.”
“This old thing?” He looked over his shoulder at me and flashed me the sexiest grin I’d ever seen, the ache between my legs coming back tenfold. Ruffling through his dresser, he pulled out a pair of black sweatpants and pulled them on before I could protest. Then he meandered into his closet, reemerging with one of his T-shirts. “You can put that on, so you don’t have to get dressed.”
I unfolded the shirt to find it was a band tee. Queen. “Nice choice.”
“Thought you might like that.” He headed toward the door. “Come on. I only have an hour before I have to be at the station.”
Begrudgingly, I dangled my legs over the edge of his bed, released an exaggerated sigh, then finally stood, the thickness of the camel-colored carpet caressing my feet. After a quick cleanup in the bathroom, I rounded the corner and took a seat at the island. As he didn’t have a table and chairs, I assumed this was where we’d be eating.
“Do you want wine with your meal or something else to drink?”
“I don’t want to drink alone, so I’ll just have some water.” I ran my finger over the smooth granite while I waited for him to heat up the dinner he made.
“It tastes better fresh from the oven, but due to our little distraction and me having to go into work, microwaved it’s going to have to be. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” My stomach rumbled the second the appliance beeped. “And by the way”—I motioned up and down him with my finger—“that wasn’t a little distraction at all.” He smirked, as did I. “Now please feed me. I’m starving.” A plate was slid in front of me seconds later, along with a glass of water. Nolan laughed at my eagerness to devour my meal as he took the empty seat beside me and sliced through his helping with a fork.
“What do you think? Do you like it?” I nodded because my mouth was full. “Maybe I should’ve asked you when you came up for air.”
I didn’t like when people watched me while I ate. Or should I say stared? But right now, I was too hungry to care about Nolan’s undivided attention. The man just saw me naked and fucked me two ways from Sunday. I supposed I could handle him watching me devour his delicious meal.
“It’s so good,” I mumbled around a forkful of pasta and cheesy goodness. A few more scrapes of the plate and I finished my serving before he did his. The clatter of the utensil signified my completion. That and the enormous sigh I released directly afterward. Granted, the piece he gave me was smaller than his, but I’d still managed to devour it in no time at all. “That meal is going in my top three favorites of all time.”
“What are the other two?”
“The parmesan chicken casserole my mom makes.”
“I remember,” he responded, taking another bite of his lasagna.
“And a hefty bowl of creamy mac and cheese.”
“That’s not really a meal.”
“It is to me,” I laughed, shifting in my seat to face him. I parted my legs an inch, the shirt he gave me riding up my thighs with the movement.
His eyes dipped to look. “Are you teasing me?”
“No.” I hadn’t been, but now that was all I could think about. I spread my legs further apart, biting my lip in the process. “This is teasing.”
He pushed his plate aside and stood, crowding my personal space. His hand rested at the nape of my neck, and with little force, he urged me to my feet. “Why can’t I get enough of you?” His lips brushed over mine, but he pulled back too quickly. “I have to shower and get ready for work. We’ll continue this when I get home.” His grip on me tightened, but he never made a move to kiss me again. I was so enraptured with the look on his face that it took a few seconds for his words to register.
“I’m not going home when you leave?”
“I’d prefer if you stayed here. I’m not working a full shift, so I’ll be back in five hours. Enough time for you to get some rest.”
“Are you sure?” His response was to grab my hand and lead me back toward his bedroom. Once inside, he let go of me, stripped his bottoms off, and stood there in all his gloriousness.
“Now who’s teasing who?”
Nolan enfolded me in his strong embrace, his mouth hovering over mine. “I’m trying so hard.”
I didn’t quite understand why he uttered those particular words, our lips meeting before I could ask. Again, he pulled back too quickly for my liking.
“Do you want some company in the shower?”
“Yes. And that’s why you’re staying right here.” He led me toward the bed. “I’ll never leave this house if we start again.”
As he walked back across the room, I asked, “You’re sure you want me to stay here? Alone in your house? What if I get nosy and start snooping?” My teasing tone ha
d him shaking his head.
“Snooping through what? I don’t have anything for you to go through.”
“Oh, I see. That’s the only reason you’re letting me stay. So where is all your stuff? In a storage unit somewhere?” Something flashed across his face so fast I wasn’t sure it was anything at all.
Instead of answering, he pointed toward his utility belt, resting on top of his dresser. “If you don’t get back in bed, I’ll have to cuff you to it.”
The thought was certainly enticing. “Promises. Promises.” Before he disappeared, I pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it on the end of the bed, winked at him over my shoulder, then climbed under the covers.
“Such a tease,” I heard him say before he walked into the hallway, closing the bathroom door behind him. Lying there alone, staring at the wall in front of me, I couldn’t believe where I was right now. Everything between us seemed to have gone from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t complaining, per se, but I was concerned with the possibility he’d get bored now that he’d got me into bed. Was he one of those guys who enjoyed the chase more than anything else? Even as my doubt surfaced, my gut told me Nolan wasn’t like other men. He shied away the first time I kissed him, and he hadn’t been with anyone in such a long time. Then again, that could’ve been all part of his ruse, to draw me in and think I was someone special to him.
My incessant and rambling off-the-wall thoughts continued as I closed my eyes, only stirring when Nolan kissed my forehead.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.” He moved back, fully dressed in his uniform. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay.” I’d suddenly become exhausted, but I supposed that was what happened after two rounds of sex and a plate of lasagna. “Nolan?” I caught him before he walked out of the room.
“Yeah?”
“What were you going to tell me before your work called?”
With a shake of his head and a slight shrug, he answered, “It can wait. It’s not a big deal.” He smiled, but it never reached his eyes. “Get some sleep.”
I didn’t have the emotional strength to dissect what I thought I saw or didn’t see in his expression. My last bit of energy was reserved for rolling over and nestling into his comfy bed, his scent surrounding me like the best security blanket. I didn’t even think I took a full breath before I passed out.
30
Nolan
“I told her it was no big deal. But it is. It’s the biggest fucking deal of my life, and I played it off like it was nothing.” I barely took a breath between my rants. “Fuck! How am I going to tell her? I don’t want to get into every goddamn detail, but how do I come off as I’m not hiding anything when she starts asking questions? Because she will ask questions. I know I would if the roles were reversed.”
“Nolan, calm down.” Will sighed on the other end of the phone. “Let me wake up before you start spouting all this shit at me.” A few grunts later, followed by ten seconds of silence, and my brother was back on the line. “Now, tell me what happened.”
“We were lying there, and I, like the stupid ass I am, not being fully prepared, told her I needed to tell her something. But before I could, Nunez called and asked if I could cover a shift tonight. Other stuff happened, and I let it go, but before I left the house, she asked me what it was I wanted to tell her, and I said, and I quote, ‘It can wait. It’s not a big deal.’” Expletives flew out of my mouth in quick succession.
“I have so many questions.”
“About what?” The irritation in my tone wasn’t directed at him, but at myself, for the predicament I now found myself in. Would Quinn be pissed off I waited until after I slept with her to tell her I’d once been married? Would she be hurt I hid something like that from her? And how would she react when I told her my wife and daughter died and that it was partly my fault? And would she storm out of my house when I told her I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened, just that I wanted to let her know?
“When you say you were lying there, where exactly is ‘there’?”
I should’ve expected he’d home in on that. “In my bed.”
Will mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear what he said before he asked another question. “And what was the other stuff that happened?”
“Can you focus on my fucking dilemma?” I smacked my hand against the steering wheel, sitting in the precinct’s lot, needing to vent before I signed in.
“I am. But answer me something first.” I didn’t ask what it was because I knew what the question was before he opened his mouth again.
“Did you have sex?”
“Yes.”
“More than once?”
“What does that matter?” He remained quiet, waiting for my response. “Yes.”
“Wow.” The silence that followed spoke louder than any words.
“I know. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it since the first time she kissed me, but I didn’t think it would happen this fast.”
“It’s not really that fast. Some people hook up after an hour of knowing each other.”
“It’s fast for me,” I argued.
“If you consider waiting three years fast, then sure.”
“I shouldn’t have called you.”
“Sorry. It’s just I’ve been telling you to get back out there, and when you finally do, and you meet someone you actually like, you freak out. I get it, kind of. But the fact you’re worried about what to tell her and what not to tell her, that you’re driving yourself nuts all because you’re not sure how she’s going to react, I have to tell you, it makes me happy.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“You’ve finally taken the first step to move on, Nolan. I want nothing more than for you to be happy again, to go back to the brother I once knew. I miss that guy.”
“I’m still here.”
“You’re not, but I see now that you’re on your way back.”
“All right,” I shouted. “Are you going to give me your advice or not?”
“Yes,” he answered. “She has to be pretty special for you to take a chance. Trust in that. Trust in her. Tell her about Kathy and Emma, about what happened. If you don’t want to get into specifics right now, don’t. You set the pace. If she pushes you beyond what you’re comfortable with, you need to be upfront with her. And if she keeps at it, then you have a different decision to make. But something tells me you’ll be fine. Women like when you share your feelings and shit, so just do that.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I am.”
“There’s a slight possibility.”
“Whatever, man. Is that it? Can I go back to bed?” Glancing at the clock on the dash, I saw it was ten minutes before eleven.”
“I remember a time when you didn’t get to bed before three in the morning.”
“Those days are long gone, brother. G’night.”
“Thanks, Will.”
“You got it.”
Once the call ended, I took a few regulating and deep breaths.
These next five hours were either going to drag or fly by way too quickly.
31
Quinn
Feeling like someone turned on a heater and pointed it directly at me, my lids slowly opened, my attempt to move thwarted by a strong hold around my middle. I glanced around the darkened space, willing my eyes to adjust, the fog of sleep dissipating until I realized where I was and that the heat caressing my skin came from the man behind me.
Again, I tried to move, but instead of him releasing me, he tossed his leg over mine and snuggled closer, if that was at all feasible.
“Nolan,” I whispered, not wanting to wake him but needing him to let me go. Not only was I hot, but I also needed to pee. I tapped his arm. “Nolan.”
He grunted but still didn’t move. Leaving me no choice, I reached behind me, intent on either poking him or smacking him with a little more force. And what I felt was bare skin. Trailing my fingers
up and down his body, I concluded that he was completely naked. I blamed him disorienting me with his inferno of a body as to why I hadn’t noticed until right then.
There was nothing left for me to do other than wake him if I planned on making it to the bathroom in time. Trying to dislodge his hold, I slapped his arm several times and said his name louder than before. Finally, he shifted on to his back and released me.
“Don’t be long,” he rumbled, soft snores trailing behind me as I walked across the room. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time, my grin intensifying when I reentered the bedroom moments later. The light in the hall illuminated enough of the room that I could see him sitting up in bed, no longer dead to the world. My eyes drifted to the clock on his side. 5:23. It was too damn early to be this awake, but one look at that sexy man was more stimulating than the strongest cup of coffee. “Are you coming back to bed or are you going to stand there and stare at me?”
“I’ll do both, in whatever order I please, thank you very much.” Resting my hand on my hip in a faux show of defiance, I remembered I was completely naked.
There was no time to register the thought before he was suddenly in front of me. For a big guy, he moved with the stealth of a panther, picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder.
“You’re taking too damn long.”
Several strides later, he stood at the foot of the bed, tossing me through the air. I yelped in surprise, landing softly on my back, legs spread and eyes dancing over his glorious body.
“Are you going to punish me?” I taunted.
“Yes.” His answer was quick and final. The mattress dipped with his weight, but instead of him covering my body with his, he pushed my legs further apart and rested between them, the warmth of his breath spreading over my inner thighs and making me squirm. “I promised you two orgasms last night. I failed. But I’m going to make it up to you right now.”
Words traveled up my throat, but when I parted my lips to speak, they swirled into heady sounds instead, my appreciation for his skill obliterating any coherent thoughts I managed to summon.
