by Ford Murphy
“Oh Jesus,” she gasped as the wave of her orgasm hit her hard. She sank down onto the bed with her hand still between her legs.
“Oh Jesus. That was pure fucking chemical. If you can do that to me when you’re not here Finn Lane, imagine what you could do if you were actually fucking me?”
She took her hand from between her legs, brought it to her mouth and licked her fingers. “Someday, my beautiful Finn, I’m going to give you the ride of your life and this taste will stay in your brain forever. And that’s a promise.”
~ * ~
Just after noon, Finn pulled out the driveway and headed to Roan Pharmaceuticals. “One of these days, I’m actually going to have to show up and do a day’s work.” He smiled wryly. “Can’t keep just dropping in for lunch.”
He wondered what sort of reception he would get today. He figured that Julia would still be mad at him but he also doubted that he’d get hassle from anyone. “You just never know. But we’ll see soon enough.”
When he arrived, he went straight to the canteen and not bothering to get any food, he walked over to Julia’s table and sat down. His presence created a commotion. He’d suspected as much, but he had other concerns that were more important.
Before he could say anything, Julia reached out her hand and touched his. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was worried that something might have happened to you or that you would have left and I’d never see you again. Finn, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I’ve been mad at myself all weekend.”
Finn just sat there in amazement. This was not the reaction he had anticipated in any shape or fashion. He was speechless.
“Please say something. Don’t just sit there. The silence is killing me.”
“I-I-I’m sorry. To be honest, I’m completely taken aback. I was sure you’d chew the face off me.”
Julia smiled at him. “A good surprise then. So, I’m just going to put this out there, before I lose my nerve. Do you still want to meet? Can we do it tonight?”
Finn’s face split into a grin. “Yes, please. But maybe it’s best if I don’t show up at your house. Do you know Broderick’s pub in Kilavulla?”
Julia nodded.
“Can we meet there around half past seven?”
She smiled. “I’ll be there.”
They sat and talked for a while until Eddie Barrett, one of the company vice-presidents, appeared at the table. “How are you, Dr. Lane? Are you doing okay?”
“I’m grand, thanks for asking.”
“And how are things with you, Julia? Keeping busy?”
Finn could hardly keep from laughing. This was a pivotal moment. Clearly, just like everyone else, Eddie had ignored her for months and here now he was making a public showing of speaking to her. What will you do, my pretty girl? Finn half hoped she’d tell him to fuck off and by the look in her eye, the thought had clearly crossed her mind.
But she smiled, looked up at Eddie who stood there expectantly, and said, “Not too bad, Eddie. Thanks. Bit busier than I’d like to be but I’m getting there.”
Unabashed relief flooded Eddie’s features. “Glad to hear it. Very glad to hear it. I’ll be seeing you guys.”
Finn watched for a moment as Eddie left the canteen. “Well how about that? I bet you didn’t see that coming.”
“No, I did not.”
“Well I’m off, then.” Finn stood up from the table. “See you tonight.”
On his way out, several people greeted him and asked if he was okay and when he was coming back to work. He stopped at Laura’s table. “Hi, Laura. See you tomorrow. I’ll be in bright and early.”
She looked up at him. “I haven’t been in all that long myself.”
She did look a little worse for the wear. “What’s the matter? Are you sick? Maybe you should go home too.”
“Nothing’s wrong with me that time and hydration won’t fix.”
Finn chuckled. “Rough weekend? Somehow I didn’t take you for a heavy drinker.”
“Normally I’m not. I went out with some friends Saturday and met a guy. We…uh…we kind of hit it off.”
Finn grinned. “Ah, alcohol and no sleep.”
She nodded. “Right in one.”
“Then here’s to both of us feeling better tomorrow.”
~ * ~
The owner of the house that David Kirk had been in returned that afternoon. When he saw the open cabinet with all its contents removed, he knew he was in deep trouble.
“How the fuck?” This couldn’t have happened. He was the only one who knew the combinations but the open locks lay on the floor. Panic flooded him. This can’t be happening. They’ll assume I did it. He went upstairs and began packing. He had to get away. He wasn’t sure how far would be far enough, but if he didn’t get the hell out now he was screwed. He might be screwed anyway. He couldn’t think about that now. The only possible way to save himself was to disappear. Now.
~ * ~
That afternoon, Brendan Macken, a production operator at Roan, approached a colleague. “Hey, how are your friends doing? That was a bad beating they took on Friday. I hope they’re okay.”
The guy looked at Brendan as if he had lost his mind. “Are you fucking nuts? Because if you’re not, you’re playing with fire and likely to get burned.”
Macken raised his hands innocently. “What do you mean? I was only being polite asking about your friends.”
Two other men joined the first one, surrounding Brendan.
The first man clenched his fists.
“You think you can pull this shit and get away with it, do you? Think again.”
“Leave him be,” a voice called out.
Brendan leaned to one side, looking around the men who had surrounded him. Six or seven other production operators had taken up positions behind the others.
“Walk away now while you still can,” one of them warned.
The three who had first approached Brendan glanced at each other before turning to walk away.
“This is not over,” one of them snarled over his shoulder.
“That’s for sure,” Brendan Macken called out to their retreating backs. “You can count on that, assholes.”
~ * ~
About an hour later, the gang boss’s phone rang.
“Boss, I have bad news. Frankie’s gone and so are all the weapons.”
He went rigid. “What the fuck happened? I want his ass here…now.”
“I’m sorry, boss, he’s gone. He left a note saying someone broke in and stole everything. But he’s done a scarper.”
Rage rose within him, but his voice remained deadly calm. “Find him. He hasn’t had time to go far.”
“I put men on it as soon as I found out. But he’s covered his tracks pretty well.”
“Son of a bitch. Well he’d better stay missing, if he knows what’s good for him. Stay on it.” He banged the phone down.
This was bad. Very bad. He prided himself at maintaining complete control at all times. Nothing escaped his iron fist. But with McGill starting to grow a set and all of their weapons now missing with no real likelihood of getting replacements any time soon, the situation was rapidly spinning out of control.
Panic, something he hadn’t felt in years, began to compete with his fury.
Calm the fuck down. Don’t lose focus. This is only a minor setback.
He sat down, lit a cigarette and mulled over various scenarios as he smoked.
~ * ~
“I’m going to be so late,” Julia groaned as she drove herself demented over what to wear. She had already tried six different combinations but none of them satisfied her. She wanted him to think she’d at least made an effort. “But I’m not tarting myself up for anyone.” She stared morosely at the current outfit. Maybe she’d gone too far. The fact was, she didn’t possess any clothes that could even remotely be considered for one second something a tart might wear. The outfit she had on now would look overly conservative on someone’s granny.
Eventually,
she settled on a red blouse and black trousers. She opened the first two buttons in the blouse then closed one up when she thought she was showing too much cleavage. “Not very appropriate for tonight,” she murmured.
By the time she got to the pub, she was twenty minutes late. Finn was sitting in the corner nursing a pint with an anxious look on his face. Apart from one old man sitting at the bar, there were no other customers in the pub.
A look of relief flashed across Finn’s face when he saw her. “Hey.” He got to his feet. “I thought maybe you got lost, changed your mind or that I had given you the wrong time.”
“No, sorry.” Julia smiled apologetically. “I’m just late and I have no good excuse.”
“That’s absolutely fine.” Finn virtually beamed at her. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Gin and tonic, please,” she replied as she sat down. “Tanqueray if they have it. If not, Bombay Sapphire. Failing that, Smirnoff. Failing that—” She grinned. “—that excuse for a gin they make down in Cork will do, as long as there’s lots of tonic.”
“Hah.” Finn smiled at her. “Picky, aren’t we? And you yourself from Cork also.”
Julia’s brows drew together. “How do you know that?” She had grown up in Cork, but it wasn’t widely known. In fact, it wasn’t known at all.
“Are you kidding me?” Finn laughed. “With that accent? Sure, where else could you be from?”
She was only partially mollified by his response. “I do not have a Cork accent.” Her tone sounded more indignant than she’d intended.
It didn’t seem to bother Finn. He winked at her before heading to the bar to get her drink. When he returned, she was more relaxed.
“Sláinte.” He clinked his glass to hers.
“Sláinte.” She took a sip of her drink then gave him the warmest smile she could muster. This was hard. Beyond hard. But in order to move on, to even have the faintest hope of a friendship with him, she had to do it. “I need to tell you about that night. It’s important to me that you know exactly what happened and how I am today as a result.”
“It doesn’t matter to me, Julia. You don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t need to know.”
“Please, this is very difficult for me and perhaps you don’t need to know, but I need to tell you. Please.” Her throat tightened and tears welled in her eyes. Get a grip. You’ll never get through it otherwise.
Finn sat back in his seat and nodded. “Okay.”
“Please, let me finish the whole story before you say anything. Can you promise me that?”
~ * ~
Finn nodded again.
And then he listened.
As she told him about Brian, regret and guilt threatened to consume him. But he suppressed the need to make his own confession. He told himself this was her moment. There would be time later.
He listened as Julia walked him through in great detail what had happened to her that night and afterwards. She described the abduction and what those men had done to her. She didn’t in any way attempt to spare herself the trauma of having to say it all out loud nor spare Finn from having to hear it. And with the same strength of resolve, he listened.
At times, she had to pause and blow her nose or catch a breath or wipe away the tears that streamed down her face. Finn was glad of the privacy Broderick’s offered without having to endure this ordeal in one of their homes. At times, he felt like his head was going to burst with anger while at other times, he thought his heart would break, such was the unspeakable sadness written on Julia’s face.
Finn sat with her, listening to her every word, never once taking his eyes away from her face. He was absolutely amazed by the courage, determination and will to survive that this girl had shown and continued to show every day. He was totally in awe of her. There are very few people who could have endured that much punishment and still be able to sit across from someone and relive the events.
When she had finished, Julia was quiet for a moment. She took a deep breath before saying, “And that is why I have to be by myself. I’m broken and I’m no use to you or anyone else. I really like you and I’m so grateful for what you’ve done. Heck, you’ve almost given my life back. But I can’t be with you as a girlfriend, not in the normal way. I was a virgin before that night. I wanted to wait until the right guy came along. Now, I don’t think I can ever face sex again. I can’t bear the thought of someone taking my clothes off or…or…well, I just can’t. I’m sorry. I needed you to know.”
Finn looked at her and said gently, “Is it my turn now?”
Julia nodded.
“Okay then. First, thank you for telling me this. I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it was for you to have to relive that night. I think you’re very brave. Second, I think I let those guys off too easily on Friday. If I had known this back then, they’d have gotten far worse. Third, and most importantly, I really like you and I want to be with you.” And that was a huge understatement. “I’m willing to accept whatever rules and boundaries you want to establish. That’s fine with me. You give me a chance, please. There’s no promises required nor will there be demands made.”
Julia gave him a sad smile. “I know you’re being honest, but seriously, how long would it last? Look at you, women throw themselves at you and you think you’ll be happy with the one girl in the country who won’t sleep with you. I know you’ll get fed up and leave eventually and that would kill me. I could not bear for another person I care about to leave me. It’s happened too often.” Julia’s eyes filled up again with tears and she looked down at the table.
Finn reached across, lifted her chin up and wiped her tears very gently away. “All I’m asking for is a chance. I know it’s difficult but can you please give it a try? If you get concerned or anything, then walk away, but please give us just this one chance.” He looked into Julia’s eyes for several long moments, her warring emotions most evident there. “Please, Julia.”
“God help me, but okay. Just for a trial period, mind you.”
“Perfect.” Finn smiled broadly at her. She smiled back. She looked exhausted and sure, why shouldn’t she? She’d just run an emotional marathon. “Now, beautiful girl, it’s getting late, shall we go?”
When they left the pub, it was pouring rain. As Finn walked her to her car, Julia staggered and almost fell. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely. The fact that she leaned into his body instead of pulling away gave him joy. They stood there in the pouring rain for several minutes without speaking or moving, both of them getting completely soaked. Julia cried softly. Gentle, cleansing tears that mixed with the raindrops.
Finally, Finn took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead “I’m here. And I’m on your side. Just remember that. Okay?”
She nodded her head, got in her car and drove away.
On the way home, Finn kept thinking about what Julia had told him and how broken she believed she was. “It took a lot of guts to do that,” he said aloud. “A hell of a lot of guts.” In the background he could hear Leonard Cohen singing Sisters of Mercy in that unmistakable voice of his. Finn smiled to himself. He had always thought that Leonard couldn’t sing but what a voice he had. It suited his melancholy songs so perfectly. This song was a particular favorite of Finn’s, telling a story of love, loss and the road to redemption.
The song reached its pivotal moment. That’s it. Once again you hit the nail on the head, Leonard. “Graceful and green as a stem”—that’s what’s needed here.
His thoughts turned to the men who had done those horrible things to her. “Two down, two to go. The next two won’t get away as lightly, I promise you that Julia.”
~ * ~
For Julia, the journey home was very different to her trip to the pub. On one hand, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. On the other hand, the graphic details were now out there in glorious Technicolor. She felt certain that no man, no matter how good or how understanding he was, could ever put those images
aside. It just wasn’t possible. She was also convinced that even if those images didn’t deter someone, the sight of her completely disfigured body would more than do the trick.
“Oh well. I had no choice but to tell him and now I have to trust him.”
She smiled to herself. It had felt nice when he held her. She wondered if it would ever happen again. She felt more alive than she had for a long, long time.
Chapter Fifteen
July, 1984
Two Years Earlier
Moscow, The Soviet Union
Finn and David sat across from each other in the dank and musty dressing room. They were in Moscow, both competing in the European mixed martial arts championship. This was their first time participating in the competition and they were the only Irish fighters to have made it there.
David had competed in the light heavyweight division and was beaten in the fourth round. Finn, however, had made it to the final of the heavyweight division and was now just twenty minutes away from his shot at becoming the undisputed best mixed martial arts fighter in all of Europe with a chance to fight for the world title in Brazil six months later. There was one last obstacle to overcome first though. A very, very large obstacle. His opponent in the final was Sergei Litkov, a native Muscovite and the hometown favorite.
“Man, I don’t envy you,” said David. “Litkov is an absolute beast of a man. Six foot six, and two hundred and seventy pounds of pure muscle.”
“I know, David.”
“And, he’s been the undisputed champion for the last five years.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
But David was right. Not only was Litkov a great fighter, he was an extremely mean fighter who set out with the intention of not just winning the bout but of hurting his opponent as much as possible.
“Do you have a plan?”
Finn frowned. “I’m not afraid of him, but to have a chance of winning I have to keep the fight going until the third round. As far as I know, Litkov had never fought beyond three minutes.”
