by Amanda Milo
My heart withers a little at the thought. “Zadeon, he didn’t mean-”
“I am well aware he didn’t intend there to be harm. But just as I burned him and there will be no permanent damage; it still hurts, and he’ll remember that.”
I put my hand on his sleeve, and watch his eyes go even warmer. “I don’t know if I’m more touched that you defended me, or more horrified that you attacked him out of the blue. You can’t do that.”
His forehead gets a deep crease. “I did not attack him ‘out of blew’ - though that is essentially how he ambushed you with that discourteously placed query - I was training him.”
“He’s got a scientific mind,” I defend. He doesn’t know it’s rude-”
“He does now.”
“-and you train him by breathing fire on him?”
Does he hear how crazy that sounded just now?
He bobs his head - and his tail lazily curls itself next to my thigh. “Sometimes. Sometimes I pin him down, then hold him there and tell him all the errors he made that allowed me to gain the upper hand. Teaching; training.”
I can just imagine Zadeon doing that. I cover my mouth.
He pulls my hand away. And holds it. My skin blooms with warmth just as my heart does.
“Do you want to watch me train?”
I use my eyes to show him how much I don’t trust his playful smile right now. “I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”
His smile gets wider.
And fangier.
Not like their fangs. Zadeon’s are more like a big, big, big cat’s.
Then he looks over my head. I glance over my shoulder and see Arokh nod.
What are these boys planning?
◆◆◆
I’m standing off to the side of all the action, worrying my lip with my teeth - when I smell it.
My head comes up, and Dohrein’s tilts — half sardonic, half curious. “Let me guess. S’mores?”
“Yeah,” I confirm weakly.
But Gracie has no trouble making light of it. “Now that you said it, I can’t stop craving them.”
My stomach flips a little. “Please, stop-”
She bumps Dohrein with her elbow. “Wait ‘til you try ‘em-”
“I don't believe I will.”
“You sure?” she teases.
I would not be poking a stick at this bear if I were her, but everybody’s got to die sometime.
“I’m afraid it would be a bit unsettling for me,” he replies to her.
She eggs his discomfort on. “A little crunch with a soft gooey center.”
“Hmm. Just like hobs, then,” Zadeon says thoughtfully.
“Too far?” he asks when I choke.
“Too far,” I agree, coughing.
He strokes my back softly.
Dohrein glares.
“Humans can’t be present at the fights,” he says this like a reminder.
“I thought this was training? Teaching?” I tilt my head back and see Zadeon tilting his down to meet my eyes.
“It is.”
Hmm.
To Dohrein he issues a command. “She stays.”
“Not her,” Dohrein disagrees.
I look and find Angie is here. Gracie is here. “Hey, why not me?”
Dohrein looks at me like I’m simple. “Having you in the room will make him fight harder.”
I purse my lips. “Don’t you mean ‘train’ harder?”
Dohrein’s lips twitch. “Of course.”
Hmmmmm.
“He can’t actually get so enraged as to kill any of us, that would be bad,” he says with a raised brow.
Understatement.
“Make that, anymore of us.”
“Got it!” I gripe. “I’ll go then.” But although I’m a fully functioning adult who can easily handle alonetime - and has in fact handled years of alonetime - I don’t want to leave.
This looks like freaking Fight Club.
Zadeon stops me by curling his tail in front of my body, from my hip over my shoulder, like a snug, live, seatbelt. “She. Stays.”
Then his voice goes softer when he adds, “If she wants.”
It’s stupid but… “I want!”
His tail jerks me backward into his chest. “Then she stays.”
Dohrein makes a very masculine tsktsk face that I just bet Gracie loves - because it’s so superior that even I want to smack it off of him - and he pulls out his tablet to tap some things. “If you insist.”
“She does,” Zadeon answers for me. “Now, step aside.”
It’s a wide open space. This room is one big square with mats on the floor and yes, a crowd, but they are sort of roped off from us like we’re celebrities. Dohrein doesn’t have to step anywhere - Z could easily get around him.
I sigh. This must be a male dominance thing.
Dohrein recognizes this too but he doesn’t appear to chafe under it - he really does step out of the imaginary path.
Boys.
I sigh again.
Zadeon gives me a squeeze with his tail.
CHAPTER 26
ZADEON
“Come on. When you know you can’t win; there's no dishonor in ceding defeat.”
“Gladiators don’t,” the hobling grits out.
“They do when they're learning,” I say as I make his arm pat mine. I’m not trying to infuriate him, I’m trying to get him to tap out.
“I’d rather have you break it,” he whispers. But I read his words easily enough.
I shake my head. These young ones…
Despite popular - and profitable - belief, I don’t enjoy fracturing bodies only for the sake of it. If I’m going to vent my frustration, it won’t be on a young male who only desperately wants to learn. I can find plenty of opponents who I won’t lose any sleep over when I thrash them.
This one isn’t one of them.
“I can’t lose my status,” he begs.
Firmly, I tell him, “I’m not going to break your bones. My purpose is to teach you, not to cripple you.”
“They can heal it in MedBay.”
I tilt my head. “Yet it still hurts for weeks as if you snapped a limb because you broke a bone.”
When even that doesn’t seem to get through, I explain, “My mate declared she wanted no one hurt.”
The hob’s eyes lose their glaze of desperation. “I understand.”
He would. After all, his dam would have knocked it into his skull; her word - a female’s word - is law.
But when his eyes find Callie...
They heat.
His wing markings go brighter.
He is not thinking of his dam.
Suddenly, he’s encouraged me to reevaluate. I lean in, and even I can hear his bone creak. “You want all of your bones broken? Keep looking at her like that.”
◆◆◆
CALLIE
Dohrein sidles up to me - not close enough to brush me, but close enough we can hear each other over the others. “This dancing that you do... You should do it more often. I strongly recommend it.”
“Why do you recommend it?”
“He has been very controlled lately.”
I scoff.
“No, it’s true. He’s got some sort of system I haven’t been able to figure. Sometimes he lets comers off the mat with nothing more than a bruise - if that. Other times his approach has been to damage as much as modern medicine can ‘reasonably treat’. I think his overall betterment might be attributed to you and your activities. He was very interested in your dance.”
I’m marveling at the barrage of images in my head. The Zadeon I know - the one who carefully selects food for me, practically begs to do chores like pick up my dirty clothes, and who fluffs all my pillows - this Zadeon, my Zadeon - breaking bones? In a battle; as a matter of course. But this is reportedly during ‘training’ exercises. “I didn’t even know that he left me.” The thought makes me a little alarmed.
Which is ridiculous. I was never the wiser; I wa
s safe. I’m fine!
Then I turn to Dohrein in horror. “All this time I thought he hadn’t been fighting and that’s why he was so keyed up. What would he be like if he hadn’t been fighting at all?”
Dohrein drags a hand over his face, his wings touching the floor they are so droopy. “They’d have to put him down. It was actually discussed at length. His entire career, there’s been speculation that he’d bonded - he fights with the fury of a bonded male. Obviously, there was no female. Not until you. Many of the humans brought on swift bonding reactions in males, making us all more challenging to deal with than we'd normally be but…”
Dohrein scrubs a hand over his mouth. “He’s… he’s terrible in captivity. At first, he was the worst creature anyone had ever seen; he has a number of oddities that, while interesting, are not easily controlled and he was not responding well to most of our attempts to make you and him more, ehhm… settled. And we weren’t prepared for something of his abilities as your first and second rooms proved.” Dohrein sighs. “But with your improvement came his.”
I’m scared to learn how close my Z came to being killed for a nature that the entire culture seems to revere. “They wouldn’t just let him go free? They’d kill him?”
Dohrein gives me a hard look. “There is no ‘going free’ for him now. You know that, don’t you?”
Deep in my heart, I do know that. That’s not true; not even ‘deep’. Zadeon doesn’t hide his feelings for me. And I’ve heard about the mechanics of bonding. Chemicals, pheromones, instincts; blah, blah, blah. But what I haven’t told them, what Zadeon hasn’t told them, and apparently what their limited monitoring hasn’t been able to pick up (thank goodness the topic of dreams would sound completely innocuous to the casual observer); there’s even more going on between the two of us than the bonding as most know it. And we certainly aren’t sharing that bit of news.
They already find us quite interesting. Probably best not to make Gryfala or hobs very, very curious.
“It’s a shame. He’s born and bred to kill, he’s efficient at taking on entire forces; his skills are wasted here really.” He shrugs. “Retirement is not something Rakhii gladiators handle well.”
“But he’s teaching. That is useful.” Now I’m going to be laying awake at night thinking of ways to prove just how much the Gryfala need Zadeon. They can’t kill him. They can’t kill him!
“If you’d be so accommodating as to agree, let’s talk about a subject that makes you happy,” Dohrein says quickly. “Anything.”
Mouth hanging open, I can only stare at him. “Right now?”
His eyes dart to me, brows disapproving. “The sooner the better. You stink of fear. It just started, but if that scent reaches Zadeon there could be a problem.”
Understatement.
“It’s been days since he’s thrown any equipment through the walls. Hasn’t thrown any hobs recently either, come to think of it,” he says offhandedly. “I really believe the dancing must calm him. I’m going to mention it at the next team meeting, perhaps a program can be placed for all the Rakhii that need a change in routine.”
I was resistant to dance again, for several reasons. Now, with the lives of someone I care about, along with a number of other completely innocent, upstanding males (insofar as I know) threatened? If there is a way I can help prevent that?
Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do it.
“Callie?”
“Hmm?”
“Happy thoughts, please.”
That does make me smile. I turn my attention to Zadeon in order to keep my mind clear of negative emotions.
As clear as I can make it anyway.
I don’t know how many boys Zadeon figuratively takes under his wing.
It’s cute - he’s very patient, and it’s sort of like watching a wolf with pups; they’ll let the youths exuberantly test boundaries… to a point.
But even when the teeth come out, there is always an important lesson passed on.
When all the youngest in the room have taken a turn on the mats, I assume that’s that.
The cheering sets me straight.
“Rotk Kotok!”
I look to Angie. “That’s like his high-gladiator-title-thing,” she answers without taking her eyes off Arokh. “Arokh is a Prime class and that’s a big deal. Zadeon’s in his own class and to them that’s a huge deal.”
Zadeon jogs to me. “The people want to see a mock battle.”
I press my lips into a mock disapproving line. “Mock, huh?”
His eyes go from my lips, to my eyes, and he smiles crookedly. “Absolutely.”
“Zadeon,” I let my tone chide and tease. “Would you lie to me?”
His tail cups my chin, and pulls my face so close to his that my belly starts to flutter. “No one will die.”
“Oh good.” I give him very wide eyes. “All my worries are gone.”
With an even brighter smile, he bumps his nose gently against mine. “I’ll take that as permission then. Thank you.”
As he trots away, I turn to Angie. “Did I just do that wrong? Was he seriously getting my permission to hurt people, and took my sarcasm as agreement to that end?”
“Yeah, they’re kind of crafty when they have something they want to get. ‘Women rule all’ until we disagree on something.”
“What does Rotk Kotok mean?”
“Arokh said Rotk... it’s like our word for Sociopath - it doesn’t quite translate to ours but its meaning is essentially a person who is antisocial, without conscience, aloof and Kotok is like ‘cold killer off its leash’.”
“He’s not aloof! He’s not even antisocial! He’s hearing-”
Angie doesn’t spare me a glance. “Defend him later, watch match now.” Her voice is tight.
Arokh just stepped into the ring.
Right across from Zadeon.
“WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!” I screech. So loud, that Zadeon’s head whips around until he locks eyes with me.
He winks.
He freaking winks at me.
I can’t even wink.
An alien just winked at me when he’s in a ring that he’s secretly (or, not-so-secretly since everybody knew about it but me) been using to routinely keep his body-breaking skills sharp and now he’s facing off against his own brother!
I latch onto Angie’s arm. “Stop them!”
She sighs. “I know. But we can’t. It’s a boy thing.”
I make fish faces - and by that, I mean my bottom jaw just moves up and down, useless for recognizable speech.
She pats my arm. “Don’t worry. Arokh is tough.”
I tear away my eyes long enough to throw an incredulous, “AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE OPPOSITION LATELY?”
CHAPTER 27
ZADEON
We give the crowd the show they want.
What most of them want, anyway - no blood, no broken bones, and as I promised, no one dies.
At one point, the crowd swells so large and gets so rowdy I tap my brother and make my way to Callie. She looks startled.
“Callie, can I pick you up?” I lean in to say into her ear.
She turns until our noses nearly brush, and nods.
I lift her up and set her on a shelving unit. “There. No one will jostle you now.”
She beams at me.
Arokh likes this idea and he quickly finds Angie a place on the unit next to Callie’s and is patting Angie’s ankle as I turn to go back to the ring.
There is a reason we have never gone up against the other in real combat.
Arokh is an excellent opponent.
But I could never hurt my brother.
I can, however, simulate it.
It feels good to grapple. Familiar. I feel my face break into a grin every time he blocks me - and every time I manage to break through it.
But he doesn’t make it easy. His skill has me working harder than I have in a long time.
I manage to flip him.
That is not easy. I’m so proud of him.
But he doesn’t make the strikes that I know he can.
I don’t either.
We teach the whole time - with words, or in demonstration. It’s good. The hoblings especially take it all in with studious expressions.
Despite the noise and the bodies, Callie handles it well; although she seems a little tired afterward.
This time at least I believe her fatigue to be genuine to the strain of the day’s activities and not from internal battle.
When we clear the room out and I move to set her on the floor, she cries, “Wait!”
I yank her hard to my chest and look around. “What is the matter?”
She laughs. “Nothing, I just want a chance to get a workout in. You got yours, now it’s time for mine.”
She may be tired, but she is determined.
Her eyes warm when I lean in.
I like that.
I tap my nose to hers and smile. “Lead me.”
CHAPTER 28
CALLIE
As is our routine after a workout, I go into the bathroom (Zadeon insists I get the shower first; always a gentleman) undress, wrap a towel around myself - then I toss my sweaty clothes out the door.
Zadeon insists on that too.
I don’t know about the other Rakhii, but it sure is Z’s thing. He was almost demanding about it the first few times. I guess he likes to pick up after me.
I make it a quicker shower than normal - more of a rinse, really - thinking that Zadeon must be looking forward to hot water on well worked muscles. I exit the bathroom…
To find Zadeon rolling on my dirty clothes like a tomcat on catnip.
Both the front and the back of my shirt had been soaked from the throat to about belly-button level - and he’s got that grimy, nasty thing against the side of his face like it’s silk.
“What are you doing?”
Guiltily, he sits up and gingerly peels my bra (with its mosquito-bite cups that manage to look even more ridiculous and tiny when they are in his huge hand) off of him where the static kept it clinging. And in the process of doing that, one of his rolled up sleeves rides up further.
