Kade
A NSC Industries Novel
By D H Sidebottom
Kade
Copyright © 2013
By D H Sidebottom
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual places, incidents and persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2013 D H Sidebottom
For my babies
I love you more with every breath I take.
You are my world, my heart and my life.
You have to learn the rules of the game.
And then you have to play better than anyone else.
Albert Einstein
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Epilogue
Prologue
Kade
8 months previous
She was so damn beautiful and I grimaced as I palmed the glass wall for reinforcement. Not only was she the pulse that powered the blood through my system but she was also the beat my heart needed to pump that blood and the energy that fed sustenance to it.
I needed her.
My very essence needed her.
I dragged air urgently through my nose and looked down at my luggage. Four bags that contained my life, four bags that would accompany me on the start of a new life in Portugal, but as my eyes lifted again, locking onto the woman who stole my soul seven years ago, my fingers unfolded and they clattered to the floor with a thud that matched the drop of my heart.
The hole that had begun to open when I had first watched her dance that night all those years ago began to widen and tear further, splitting me open in its rage and hatred.
Whoever said heartache is an emotion and nothing to do with the actual muscle spoke utter bullshit, because the pain tearing through my breastbone was physical, it was very fucking physical. It bruised, it stung and god damn it was trying to fucking kill me as it threatened to swallow me from the inside and steal every breath I tried to take.
I gasped at the intensity it clenched me with as it tried to climb up my throat so it could bodily make itself known, could tangibly put its hands around my face, look me in the eye and say ‘What the fuck are you doing, you bloody fool?’
She repeatedly glanced nervously at Mason as she watched for me, as she waited for me to climb the few stairs onto the plane with them and start a new life.
But, I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t take any more from her that I hadn’t already.
She owned me, I knew that, I had always known that but Mason owned her and to make her divide her heart between us would eventually rip that amazing, delicate organ into pieces and I wasn’t willing to do that; no matter how much the pain and agony clawed at me and threatened to take me down as I stepped foot onto the tarmac and drank in every single inch of her.
I refused to let her see the wobble in my legs, the pain that was engulfing me or the utter devastation that was breaking me in two as I slowly walked over to them.
I will never forget the look on her face as her soul darkened and her spirit crumbled when she read me, when she realised I was staying behind and I forced myself to drag up any bits of courage I had left inside me to do this.
She shook her head rapidly as I approached, the pain displayed openly on her beautiful face and I savoured the small smile that curled my lips at the sight of her stunning beauty. It would be the last smile that I would make in a long time.
“Kade?” Ava swept her eyes over my face as I neared and the pain she exhibited so very nearly defeated me, almost made me sprint back into the lounge, pick up my bags and refuse to accept what my head was rightly telling me. “Don’t do this, Kade, please.”
I gulped, trying desperately to push air past the lump of hatred stuck in my throat. “Kade?” She repeated more sternly, her clear enchanting voice no longer a whisper as her anger with me climbed higher.
“We would never survive, Ava.”
Damn the break in my voice. She shouldn’t hear that, I didn’t want or need her to hear it. She was hurting enough and I would be damned to hell if I caused this beautiful creature anymore hurt.
“What? What the hell are you on about?” The shock on her face held a flicker of understanding and I knew then that I was doing the right thing. I would sacrifice my soul to make things right between her and Mason. The damage I had done all those years ago already had a seat in Hell reserved with my name on it, but I wouldn’t accept that the Devil had glued it there. I needed to believe that it could be removed and torn up. Otherwise, what was the point to all this vicious agony?
Mason nodded in understanding. He stepped forward and palmed my cheek, “You know you can always join us if you change your mind.”
I nodded. “I do,” I answered with a genuine smile before I pulled him into an embrace, feasting on the respect and understanding he was offering. His firm hand on my back amplified my strength and I mirrored his firm nod before he turned his back and left me alone with Ava. My gratitude for these final solitary moments with his wife gave me a whole new admiration for him. He should have hated me for nearly destroying what they had but instead he had taken me inside him, just as I had taken him.
“Ava,” I whispered as I took a step closer to her. I needed to be closer but she retreated a step as if touching me would pain her, “Sweetheart, please.”
Her eyes pooled and she squeezed them closed, squeezing my heart with them. “No.”
I reached for her as I refused to let her distance herself, needing to touch her and I pulled her tiny frame against my own, inhaling her scent and burning it to memory, begging God that he never let me forget it. She struggled in my hold and I pulled her tighter as she fought me angrily, “Why? Why, Kade?” She sounded defeated as she buried her face in my chest, “It will be fine, it will work. I promise.”
“For now, maybe for a few months everything would be great but both Mason and me.” I paused as honesty flowed through me and I grabbed the opportunity to voice all that my head and my heart needed to rid themselves of, “We’re both so in love with you Ava that eventually we’re going to clash. We both want to own you, both of us want to possess every inch of you, we want you to be ours.”
I tilted her face to mine with a finger as I desperately tried to make her understand. “Our dominance over you will destroy us all and I couldn’t bear for either of you to hate me.”
“Never Kade, we could never hate you.” The sincerity in her voice echoed in her eyes and I smiled as I placed a kiss on her nose and slid my hand over her cheek, her soft skin calming my anxiousness just as it always had done.
“And what if I started to hate you? What if we each started to wonder if either of us is spending too much time w
ith the other, or if Mason gives you a better orgasm than me? Or… or if Mason started to think you loved me more and were plotting to out him. Or you begin to imagine things that aren’t there between me and Mason?”
I needed her to understand and my soul begged her. If she never forgave me for this then I don’t think I would get through life knowing that I had hurt her to an extent of hate. “I’ll always love you Ava, always. You are my first love, the first woman who ever owned all of me. I need you to be happy, sweetheart. I need you to live your life now, not live in the shadow of two controlling men; two men who want everything of you, Ava. We’d drown you, suffocate you with love and I couldn’t bear it if we broke you in our desire to make you happy.”
“But,” she paused as she locked me down with her stunning green gaze, her eyes relaying everything her mouth was saying. “I love you, Kade.”
Oh fuck. The power of those words that I had longed to hear for so, so long engulfed my whole essence and freed something inside me as it coupled with an immense feeling of grief. I closed my eyes, letting the peace and chaos of her declaration flow through me but I cursed when I couldn’t hold back the emotion of them and a tear trickled down my face.
I pleaded right then, with God, with someone I had never had any faith in, an entity that had never given me any reason to believe, but right then and there, I begged with my soul, my spirit and my body to give me the strength I needed to let her walk away.
“I’ve loved you for eight years, Kade and I will love you for eternity.”
I nodded as the torrent of grief now descended in a wave of sobs, tearing me in two and hardening me physically as well as emotionally and mentally. I would never allow myself to feel again. This was too much. The torture was so immense it felt like my whole body was been seared from the inside out and I struggled to keep my heart beating as devastation destroyed me.
“As I will always love you Ava, forever and absolutely” I whispered as I rested my lips on her forehead and memorised every single thing about her; burnt to the corners of my mind the feel and smell of the only woman I had ever really loved truly and I knew I would only ever love with absolution again.
“Go.” I breathed frantically, beseeching with approaching hysterics that she go now before she witnessed my final and utter breakdown.
I took one final and ultimate breathe of her before she turned, walked, and never looked back.
Never again showed me her beautiful and mischievous smile.
Never again relished my spirit with her gentle touch.
Never again whispered in my ear what my touch did to her.
And never again allowed me to feel anything other than hatred and loathing.
I didn’t wait to watch them leave. I couldn’t bear to watch that, and as I strolled through the airport with desolation and bleakness beginning to consume me, I didn’t even realise I had left my luggage back by the window… along with my heart.
Chapter One
Kade
Current Day
The room was spinning again and I grabbed hold of the edge of the bar to try and bring it back upright. “Go home, mate, you’ve had your fill tonight. Time for bed.” The barman, Bod or Brock or something similarly stupid told me and I curled my lip at him.
“Do I look fucking twelve?”
He smirked at me, the fucking arsehole and shrugged as he still refused me another drink. What the fuck was his problem? “You’re getting no more tonight. Go home.”
“What? … Oh, fuck it!”
I spun round on the stool and frowned. Where the hell was I anyway? This wasn’t Pulse or even The Loft. It was somewhere new, well new to me anyway, and I perused the opulence of the place, respectfully admiring the high quality fixtures and luxurious décor, their rich but subtle tones relaxing you but at the same time feeding a desire to party. The abundant deep red and classic cream features were welcoming and pleasant yet at the same time stimulating and thrilling and I pursed my lips reverently as I noticed the faint stylish use of chrome arranged here and there, making the building appear more open and clean.
I slid off my stool, my eyes darting around as I took in more of my surroundings whilst I tampered with my memories, trying to assess exactly where I was. I hadn’t been here before, I knew I hadn’t. I would have remembered such a place, especially the guys scattered about with pieces hidden in their waistbands. Did they really think they were inconspicuous or did they even care, come to that? They definitely looked casual but at the same time aggressively prominent and the conflicting vibes they gave off made me queasy.
Gazing around the room, looking for the little boy’s room, I spotted at least six tooled up men, each directing their gazes out towards the room of swaying patrons, each alert and outwardly hostile and I eyed one in particular as his fierce stare fixed on a couple of blokes arguing across the room.
The music was blaring and my head was starting to thump with the vibrations of it, my gut giving me bother over the last whisky as it tried to acidly chuck it back up my throat.
Shit!
I swept my eyes around the walls, desperately looking for a door to escape through before I humiliated myself and tossed up all over the dance floor like a pubescent teen.
Big guy narrowed his eyes on the two clowns who had been arguing as they now rolled around on the floor. He moved swiftly across the room, his empty post revealing a door. Perfect! Even if it was the fucking broom closet, I could spew up in privacy.
I dived through it, one hand covering my mouth as my eyes watered with the fumes of the rising alcohol and I groaned loudly when I appeared to be in another room with the same lavish furniture. Although this replica area was eerily unoccupied it still made my heart sink when I knew I couldn’t cough up in here.
“Fuck!” I hissed as I frantically scanned the room looking for the little plaque that displayed a male figure. “Fuck! Do they not believe in bogs?”
I scrambled through another door and fought back the urge to scream when I emerged into a long corridor. Where the hell were the toilets?
I could hear voices down the hallway and I made my way towards them to ask directions or at least ask if they could provide a bucket but my footing stalled as the voices became louder and fiercer, their tones becoming aggressive and slightly sinister as one specific male voice laughed with cold cruelty causing the hairs on the back of my neck to vibrate.
“You really thought that you could fuck my daughter and I wouldn’t find out?”
“I…” The terrified stutter trickled ice through my veins with its unpolluted fear. Whoever was in trouble was in trouble and I stilled outside the slightly ajar door, hoping to – fuck, I don’t know what I was hoping for but I suddenly couldn’t move when I heard a loud crack before the guy cried out in pain.
“You disrespect me Alex, and that in itself screams of your insult.”
The poor guy whimpered with a faint high pitched gurgle and my eyes widened when he let out a loud grunt after a heavy thud rocked the floor under my feet.
“Please… Gr… Mr Baxter, please, it was Elizabeth, she…”
I could feel the temperature instantly drop around me, the waves of fury carried in the tiny dust particles hovering around me, seeping into my pores with the potency of the thunderous silence and triggering a hot shiver. Even I wanted to slap the fucking goon. Who the hell begged for their lives by casting the blame on the daughter of the man threatening to beat you to a pulp? What a twat and I shook my head as I released a small chuckle.
The chuckle morphed into a small whimper and erupted from my mouth with some vomit as it trickled down my body, sliding fluidly over my clean blue shirt and down the crease of my trousers, pooling on the toe of my stupid shiny shoes when the gunshot shook the air around me and I lurched forward with the shock.
Holy fuck! Had they shot him just cos’ he’d fucked someone’s daughter?
“Fucking cunt. Get rid of him, he makes me wanna slice his throat and I don’t need the fucking mess
to be honest.” The blasé way it was said flicked a sense of dread through my system as my whole body stiffened in terror.
Shit they were coming out!
I dived through another door opposite and as quietly as I could, pulled it closed at the same time as I pushed a hand against it to soften the sneck. At last, a broom closet! “Always too fucking late, Kade.” I whispered to myself as I rested my ear on the door and squinted as I listened to what was happening.
“Yeah, I saw it; did you see that brunette’s tits?” One guy laughed as the other guy then went into a discussion about some movie and how he thought the violent scenes were too mechanical. “Well the twat won’t be making any more stiff movies… get it?”
What the Fuck? Just… what the fuck? Oh my god, was the guy they just shot Alex Ingot from the Hollywood blockbuster, Stiff?
I started to panic and wonder if I would get out of here alive as I glanced around the tiny cupboard. There was a toolbox at my feet and I rummaged through it, looking for anything I could use as a weapon in my bid to get out of here alive – unlike the other poor guy and spotting a screwdriver, I shoved it into the waistband of my trousers.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
I opened the door quietly and marginally before risking a peek out. It seemed clear but my trembling knees made me well aware it might actually not be.
The door squealed and I cringed, bracing myself for the attack but nothing happened so I risked venturing a bit further. I shot looks both ways before rushing down the corridor and burst through a door marked with an exit sign that brought me out into a side alley.
“Shit!” I gasped, panting rapidly as the cool night air assaulted my terrorised lungs, the sudden drop in temperature causing a wheeze in my chest as my body tried to battle against my anxiety, however I couldn’t risk giving it a rest and I rushed awkwardly towards the main street, the smooth soles of my pathetic shoes gliding along the frosty ground perilously in my rush to flee.
Kade (NSC Industries) Page 1
