“No problem,” he said, smiling stiffly then looking away.
“I’ll be back soon,” I called over my shoulder as I pulled the door open and hurried out. I wasn’t sure where Bastian was, but I didn’t care if I had to search the entire castle from top to bottom, I would find him and get him to help. Chloe deserved her happy ending; I was going to make sure she got it.
CHAPTER 22
“Bastian?” I called when I arrived at his room and saw that the door was ajar. I knocked gently before poking my head in to find Bastian standing by his bed, rolling up the sleeves of his collared shirt. When he looked up and saw me something flashed across his face that was too quick for me to read. But before I could ask, the question answered itself.
“Becca!” came Alva’s surprised voice from the side of the room I’d not seen. “What a surprise!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I stammered, my brain scrambling for the right thing to say, “I didn’t mean to interrupt…”
“Not at all,” Bastian said, stepping forward to pick up the proverbial dropped ball. “It was wretched of me to keep you waiting, I am terribly sorry.”
“Waiting?” Alva asked, an excited flicker in her eyes.
“Yes,” Bastian lied casually. “I promised Becca a walk this morning, but today’s workout delayed me.”
“Now Bastian,” Alva scolded, coming over and taking my hand, bringing me out of the doorway and into the room. “Is that any way to treat a lady?”
“It’s not a problem,” I said, doing my best to play along. “I understand.”
“You know boys,” Alva sighed, putting her arm around me and leaning in, “always with their games and toys. But don’t worry, it isn’t you dear,” she assured me with a wink, “nothing can keep Bastian from his daily fencing practice.”
“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows feigning interest. “Fencing” again, huh? Yeah right…
“Heavens, yes. He’s studied rigorously for years, isn’t that right dear?” she beamed at Bastian.
“It’s just a hobby,” he shrugged passively, though the tension in his shoulders didn’t match his tone.
“He’s too modest, why I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as dedicated–”
“All right, Mother,” he sighed, coming over with his shoes dangling from his front two fingers. “That is quite enough boasting for one morning.”
“It’s not boasting, it’s pride,” she corrected in that very motherly way, “but if you insist.”
“I do,” he said flatly, slipping on his first shoe.
“Very well then,” she said, then added with a look that was intended to look stern when it was clear that deep down she was thrilled, “but don’t you treat this gorgeous woman so carelessly again.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to be in your way,” she said, backing toward the door with a look on her face that was almost embarrassing it was so transparent. “You two have a lovely time.”
“We will,” Bastian said with his usual smirk.
“Thank you,” I added, not sure what else to say.
With one more awkwardly suggestive smile, Alva floated out of the room, being sure to guarantee us privacy by shutting the door as she left. Bastian stayed perfectly still, listening for a full five seconds before finally looking back over to me, one eyebrow raised. “You seem to have made something of a habit out of testing my ability to improvise.”
“Sorry, but I needed to talk to you.”
“It couldn’t have waited until tonight,” he asked, sitting as he tied his second shoe, “or didn’t you get my note?”
“Yes, I got it, that’s sort of why I’m here, and no, it couldn’t wait.”
He must have heard the urgency in my voice because it reflected in his own. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
“Yes, but it’s kind of random. It’s got nothing to do with Ciaran and all that, it actually has to do with Steven.”
He stood, utterly serious now. “What about him?”
“It’s not bad,” I told him, hoping to quell the worry I saw in his eyes, “it’s actually kind of great. Turns out Steven is Chloe’s Anam.”
All expression fell from his face. “What?”
“I know, right,” I smiled. “Who knew? She bonded to him when he stopped by to deliver your note.”
“And you’re sure?” he asked, face still blank.
“Oh yeah. I was there, it definitely happened.”
“Does Steven know?”
“No, she didn’t react until after he was gone. That’s why I came,” I explained, his lack of response beginning to make me uneasy. “I was hoping you could talk to him. Let him know what happened, and maybe try to convince him… to…” But my thought died when he turned and wandered off as though he was in a trance, his face still entirely unreadable. “Bastian?”
“This can’t happen,” he whispered, pacing slowly back and forth in front of his bed. “It can’t.”
“Well, it did,” I said, growing annoyed, “so now we have to deal with it.”
“No, we don’t” he pointed out toward the hall, “she does. Steven cannot find out about this – no one can find out.”
“Excuse me?” I demanded, my temperature rising. “Do you even realize what you’re saying?”
“Do you?” he growled. “Do you have any idea what will happen to him if anyone finds out that someone has bonded to him? Do you know how the Bhunaidh regard the Anam bond? What it represents to them? Steven has more than enough failings in their eyes, the last thing he needs is this to top it all off.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that Steven is never finding out about this. He will continue on with his life as though he and Chloe had never met, and she…” He hesitated slightly, “she will…” He paused again.
“What?” I snapped, my teeth grinding together, “‘get over it’? Are you out of your mind? She didn’t choose this, no one does, it just happens! Hell, she’s spent the last hour trying to wish it away. How dare you tell her to get over it, you have no idea what she is going through.”
“What she is going though is regrettable, but is also not my primary concern, Steven is.”
“So what, that gives you the right to run his life? To deny him what would be the most amazing relationship he’ll ever experience just because you ‘say so’? You don’t have that right any more than you have the right to keep Chloe away from the person she’s bonded to.”
“I have every right to do whatever I can to keep my brother safe.”
“Not if it means dictating his life.”
“At least he’ll have a life!” he yelled.
“He could have a better one as Chloe’s Anam!”
“You don’t know that!”
“You don’t know that, because you don’t get it! You don’t even realize what you’d be keeping him from!”
“Yes I do!” he roared, shocking me silent. The very air around us held its breath as we stared at one another, my eyes wide in skeptical surprise, while his wavered in indecision for a long moment before finally breaking like an angry wave. “It’s everything!” he yelled, “It’s devotion! It’s love! It’s a link that you can’t break no matter how far you go!” He let out a shuddering breath from between his teeth, as the tension in his muscles started to relax as he lost steam. “It’s having someone with you always, even when they are not actually there because a part of them is in you. It’s knowing that there is someone thinking about you every moment they’re not with you, wondering what you’re doing and worrying over whether or not you’re OK.” Hanging his head, he rubbed a hand through his hair and sank down onto the edge of the bed, his elbows resting heavily on his knees as his shoulders sagged forward wearily. “It’s everything.”
I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at him, but I couldn’t help it. I was totally at a loss. Never in a million years would I have gu
essed it, but now, looking at his defeated form hunched at the edge of the bed, it was blatantly obvious.
Bastian was bonded.
I’d known that Bastian was a good actor when it came to fooling everyone, and playing “the game,” as he called it, but it wasn’t until that moment that I realized just how good he was.
With a quiet sigh, I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, following his example and staring down at the floor. “How long?” I asked after a moment.
There was a long pause before he answered, “Five years.”
Wow. “And no one knows?”
“Steven,” he said, sitting up, “but no one else.”
Another quiet moment passed before I shook my head, unable to suppress a smile. “You are quite a piece of work, you know that?”
He glanced sideways at me, grinning in spite of himself. “You’re one to talk.”
“Yeah, well, I’m worth it,” I said, batting my eyelashes, while he huffed a laugh and sighed. “So,” I said with a cheeky grin, bumping his shoulder with mine, “what’s her name?”
He laughed strangely and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a silver pocket watch, he flipped open the cover and handed it to me. At first there was nothing to see other than the time, but a second button next to the watch face opened a hidden compartment that held a picture. I looked down at that photo and saw blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, an attractive smile… and I couldn’t have been more shocked.
“Oh,” I said, embarrassed at how surprised I was. “I’m sorry, what’s his name?”
Bastian chuckled at my reaction. “Justyn Niprùt.”
“French?” I guessed from the accent.
He nodded, something helpless in the way he watched his hands as they lay in his lap. “He was born not far from Nice. He and his sister attend school with Steven and I. I bonded to him during my first semester back after my Awakening.”
“Does he know?”
“About me? No. We’ve been,” he paused as though he couldn’t find the word, “together, for a while now, but the only time we have is at school. During breaks we’ll meet up every morning to talk online or maybe video chat, that sort of thing.”
I closed my eyes with a smile as I remembered the sounds of a computer coming from behind the door that morning Alex and I had followed him. “Fencing?” I asked, shaking my head. So that’s what he’d been up to. No wonder he’d panicked at the thought of getting caught.
He nodded with a chuckle. “My parents believe me to be an expert with the amount of hours I’ve put in to practicing. Truth is, if anyone ever did come at me with a foil, I would be in quite a lot of trouble. But no,” he said, sobering again, “Justyn knows only that Steven and I have a complicated home life, as that’s all I’ve been able to bring myself to tell him. He has no idea what I am, what I can do, or why he’ll never meet the rest of my family.”
“Because they wouldn’t approve?” I knew it was a stupid question, but I couldn’t stop it.
“Approve?” He laughed without humor. “In the eyes of the Bhunaidh, the Anam bond is a curse; a terrible weakness that we are expected to rise above The idea that we could be tied forever to a person of no ability or standing is unacceptable, and to succumb to such a thing is a disgrace.”
“But it has to happen sometimes, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not like it’s something that anyone can control.”
“It can’t be controlled, but it can be avoided. In order for the bond to be formed, you must make physical contact, and most Bhunaidh don’t even enjoy sharing a room with average people, much less allow themselves to be touched by them. But of course, every now and then one of our number will suddenly disappear from society for reasons unknown, or perhaps begin to take frequent extended holidays,” he emphasized the words suggestively. “Occurrences like those are never openly spoken of, but of course the rumors circulate and scandal ensues.”
“That’s so stupid…” I mumbled, rolling my eyes.
“Yes, it is,” he frowned. “So no, to answer your question, my parents would most certainly not approve. Though even if they could somehow bring themselves to overlook the fact that I had ‘allowed myself to succumb to the great weakness of our kind’,” he quoted with derision, “they would never forgive me the fact that Justyn is male, and as such, guarantees them no traditionally begotten grandchildren, thus bringing an end to their long and prestigious line.”
“Steven could still have kids,” I suggested.
“If Steven himself is no longer welcome in the family, what makes you think any children of his would be?”
“Oh yeah…”
“Unfortunately for them, I am the one on whom all their futile hopes for the future lie. Though it’s my own fault, leading them on the way I do and allowing them to believe whatever they wish. I suppose no plan is perfect.”
“Is this why you couldn’t leave?” I asked, motioning to the watch as I closed the cover and handed it back to him. “You told me that initially you and Steven had planned to leave as soon as you could but that things changed and you couldn’t. Was it him?”
He didn’t answer at first, but the guilt on his face told the tale. “I would have gone,” he finally said, almost defensively before calming again, “or at least I like to believe I would have. But Steven said no. He knew – we both did – that if we left…”
“That you’d never see Justyn again,” I finished for him.
He bowed his head. “We would have had to leave school. At that point I didn’t know Justyn well enough to justify visiting him outside of school…” He tapered off again, but this time I didn’t interrupt. “Steven knew that I had bonded, and he refused to follow through with our plan to leave when he knew that I would suffer – so we didn’t go.” He paused, collecting himself with a deep breath before going on. “That was when I became desperate to find a way to help him, even going so far as to consider working with Darragh. I had ruined our only chance of getting away, and Steven’s only chance at a better life… I had to find a way to make it up to him.”
I could see this was difficult for him, so when he didn’t continue, I gave him some time, choosing my words very carefully before I spoke again. “I know what it’s like to live only to protect and care for a little brother who can’t always defend himself. And I know that you want to be able to give him the life he should have had. But you can do that now,” I said gently. “He could be happy with us. Actually, I think maybe you both could.” He glanced up like he might argue, but instead looked at me with what might have been the slightest hint of hope in his eyes. “Steven could finally be himself,” I continued. “He wouldn’t have to worry about hiding or being ashamed. He’d have Chloe to love and support him, and he would finally be able to branch out and have a life that is all his own. And by the way, Steven isn’t the only one not living the life he deserves. Without Steven here to protect, you could you could stop spending every moment of your time pretending to be someone you’re not, and start living the life you want. You could come with us, or go be with Justyn, maybe something in-between, or who knows, maybe something you haven’t even thought of. I understand why you didn’t want to go before, but things are different now. You and Steven are both adults, you and Justyn have a stronger relationship and no longer need school as an excuse to see one another, Steven has a real chance at happiness, and most of all, you have somewhere to go, with people who can help you both. You don’t have to be on your own anymore.”
He sat quietly for a long time while I waited, toes tapping nervously in my shoes. Eventually he rubbed his hands over his face and up through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking up to meet my eyes. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. Of course Chloe bonding to Steven is a good thing for them both. The news simply caught me unawares, and I overreacted.”
I snorted a laugh. “Yeah well, lucky for you, you’re talking to the queen of overprotective freak-outs,” I smiled, “so don’t worry about it.”
“I’
ll talk to Steven. I’ll let him know what happened, and tell him what the options are, but as to what he wants to do from there, that part will be up to him. As much as I like to believe that I know what’s best for him, in the end it should be his decision.”
“What about you?”
“Depends on what he chooses. There is nothing I’d like more than to leave all this behind me forever,” he admitted, looking idly around the room, “but if he decides to stay, I won’t leave him here alone.”
“I don’t blame you.”
Our eyes locked for just a second as he finished and something passed between us – something new, but still very familiar. He was a man doing everything he could to look after his brother. He didn’t always know what to do, or the best way to do it, but he did the best he could. He may have overreacted and lost his temper from time to time, but that goes with the territory when you are fighting for someone you love. I’d found him annoying, frustrating, and exasperating, but truth be told, deep down… he was just like me.
He let out a long breath with a stretch, breaking the serious tone we’d been in for far too long with one of his trademark smiles. “Now then,” he said, turning toward me and leaning back casually against the bedpost, his eyes filled with a humorous sort of skepticism, “we’ve covered my Anam, let’s hear about yours.”
“Sorry?” I said, trying to play it off, fully aware that I wasn’t at all convincing.
“‘You don’t know what it’s like,’ that’s that you said,” he reminded me, cocking his brow, “not, ‘we don’t know,’ or ‘no one knows,’ but ‘you don’t know.’”
“I think you’re reading way too much into my word choice.”
“I don’t think so. You fought far too vehemently and are far too knowledgeable to have only heard accounts of bonding from others.” He crossed his arms. “Come now, out with it. I’ll not be the only one giving up secrets today, now let’s have it.”
I wanted to deny it again, but the look on his face told me there was no use. He knew he was right and wasn’t going to let it go until I admitted it. “OK fine,” I huffed. “Yes, I’ve bonded with someone.”
The Seers Page 24
