by Paige Dearth
For the rest of the ride home, Ethan talked about how much he wanted his own landscaping business. While he yammered, Emma daydreamed about the new guy, Salvatore. He was so handsome and obviously rich too. He had been very nice to her and she liked the way he had told her how beautiful she was, because she knew he truly meant it. Ethan often complimented her on her looks too, but his words of praise were invariably twisted with jealous, out-of-context references about how desirable her customers at Doubles must find her.
When they got home, they made love and Emma fell asleep in Ethan’s arms. He held her and stayed awake for hours, consumed by his twisted imaginary thoughts, which turned into a jealous rage of her cheating on him. As he watched her sleeping peacefully, he had the overwhelming urge to beat her silly, but he knew that stupid sister of hers would come rushing in.
In the morning, Gracie crept into their room quietly and woke Emma.
“What is it?” Emma whispered, concerned to see her sister looking so terrified, and slipped out from under the covers.
“I’m bleeding,” Gracie told her.
“What? Where?” Emma asked, frantically looking her over.
“No, Em, I got my period,” Gracie explained, a bit embarrassed.
Emma smiled. “I guess we need to have that talk about the birds and the bees now,” she teased her.
“Knock it off, Em. I need you to show me how to use those things,” Gracie whispered, not wanting the evildoer to wake up and butt into her personal business.
Explaining to her sister how to use a tampon wasn’t a moment Emma had prepared herself for. When she was done, she left Gracie in the bathroom to take care of her business in private.
Gracie reappeared in the kitchen ten minutes later and the two sisters sat down to breakfast. Ethan came into the kitchen while they were eating. He was showered and dressed.
“Where are you off to?” Emma asked, surprised that he was going out.
“I have some errands to run,” he replied, then reached into her purse and took her car keys and a handful of the money she’d earned the previous night. “Ethan!” Emma yelled, outraged, when she saw him take her money. But thinking better of it, she fell silent. She didn’t want to start another big fight in front of Gracie. She knew her sister had heard them arguing over the last several weeks and wanted to spare her the ordeal of watching them bicker again.
“Never mind,” she told Ethan when he turned to her inquiringly.
After Gracie had left for school, Emma went into the bedroom closet where she kept a couple pairs of new shoes in their boxes. She pulled a pair of boots out of a box, slid the hundred-dollar bill, along with some of her other earnings, into the toe of one boot, and placed it back in the box. She felt better knowing it would be there if she needed it. She planned to talk to Ethan when he returned home about him taking her money again. She didn’t like this habit of his. She worked hard for her money and it was meant exclusively for her use and Gracie’s. No one was going to take it from her.
When Ethan walked into the apartment a couple of hours later, Emma practically pounced on him. He was carrying two bags. One contained a pair of expensive sneakers he had bought for himself. The other held a sexy corset and thong for her.
Ethan seemed irritated by her onslaught of questions about the money he’d taken out of her purse.
“Em, really,” he said, unfazed, “you need to stop it. We’re living together now, making a life together. The money you earn is for both of us. Besides, I bought you a present.”
His dismissive way of handling her and the money issue infuriated Emma, but once again she felt her anger ebb when he mentioned the present he’d bought for her. When he pulled out the corset and thong, she stared at them in surprise.
“Are these for Doubles?” she asked.
“No, they’re not for fucking Doubles!” Ethan snapped. “What the fuck, Emma! These are for you to wear for me. I’m so sick of this shit!”
In an attempt to calm him, she said, “I made a mistake. I just didn’t know, that’s all.”
Suddenly he lunged forward, grasped her around the waist, and kissed her. Then he lifted her shirt and put his mouth over her breast. He led her into the bedroom and handed her the gift he’d bought her. Emma began to undress, but before she could put on the corset and thong, Ethan told her to go to the bathroom to change so that she could surprise him. She thought it was a weird request, but didn’t refuse him, touched as she was that he had thought to buy her a present, even if it was with her own money, and it wasn’t lost on her that it was a gift for him rather than for her. All the time she was gone, Ethan sat stewing on her question about the lingerie being for her use at Doubles.
When Emma came back into the bedroom and Ethan saw how hot she looked, lust surged through him. Silently he motioned her onto the bed. She inched closer and bent down to kiss him. He yanked her down on the bed and began touching her intrusively. Taken off guard by his aggression, she took a moment to respond. In those few seconds of hesitation on her part, his arousal was fueled further by anger. He reached down without warning and ripped her thong off. Before she could react, he had jammed his fingers inside of her with unexpected force. She arched back from the pain and tried to push him away. In retaliation, he pinned her arms down on the bed, pushed himself inside of her, and slammed into her over and over again until he came.
He looked at her afterward. “What the fuck is your problem?” he demanded. “Why were you lying there like a dead fish? You got a problem? I buy you nice things and then you treat me like shit!”
Emma was angry. “I wasn’t lying there like a dead fish, Ethan!” she retorted. “I was surprised at how aggressive you were. What the hell is going on with you?”
“What’s going on with me? What’s going on with ME? I’m sick of your fucking bullshit! That’s what’s going on with me!” he howled.
“Look, Ethan, I’m not going to put up with this,” she told him firmly. “You’re acting like a crazy person!”
Ethan got up and left the bedroom. Emma sat on the edge of the bed, bewildered by what was happening between them. She loved him and didn’t want to hurt him. Her thoughts wandered back to the moment when they had first met and she felt wistful recalling his kindness toward Gracie and her. Maybe he was just going through a rough time, she tried to reason. She wasn’t afraid of change. She knew she could live without him. The only glimmer of doubt Emma had was the thought of losing the only man she’d ever loved.
Chapter Forty-Eight
As the Fourth of July approached, Ethan told Emma that he wanted to throw a party at the apartment. Not wanting to have another scene on her hands, Emma declared it was a great idea. Having consented to it, she intended to enjoy it. Planning everything for the party together with her sister, she and Gracie set out to make it a great holiday. They even bought new dresses for the occasion: a short red sun dress for Gracie, a long white cotton dress for Emma.
On the day of the party, the girls were brimming with excitement because they were getting to spend some time with Brianna, who they hadn’t seen much since Ethan had moved in with them. Emma was the perfect hostess, eager to make everything just right for their guests. They had spent most of the day in the small backyard, eating hotdogs and hamburgers. Ethan had bought a keg of beer, and the tenants from the other two apartments in the building had joined the festivities as well.
In the late afternoon, most of the guests had moved inside, along with the keg of beer. Emma was standing in the kitchen, catching up on girl talk with Katie and Brianna. Her childhood friend had just finished a funny story about a creepy guy she had gone on a date with a couple of weeks earlier and, being Brianna, had made fun of the guy’s appearance, making all of them laugh hard.
Their hearty laughter reached Ethan who was in the living room with his friend, Pete Somers. The two young men automatically glanced through the kitchen doorway and Pete’s gaze was drawn to Emma. It was clear to Ethan that his friend couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He
followed Pete’s gaze as it took in the silhouette of Emma’s long legs through the flowing material of her white dress, which had turned transparent in the waning sunlight streaming through the kitchen window.
Turning to Ethan, Pete couldn’t help exclaiming, “God, man! Emma is fucking gorgeous! How did an ugly fuck like you land something like that?”
His tone was playful and Ethan smiled mechanically in response, but fury surged through him. As Emma looked over at him, the two of them locked eyes. His hateful stare pierced through her. She knew at once that something had pissed him off and she wondered nervously what could have gone wrong. She did her best to bury her anxiety and played the perfect hostess until everyone left.
Finally, after Gracie had left to sleep over at a friend’s house, Emma sought out Ethan. He was sitting alone in their bedroom, perched on the edge of the bed.
“Ethan? Is everything okay? It was a great party, wasn’t it?” she asked, testing to see if he was still angry while wishing the prick would move the fuck out of her apartment.
He stood and walked up to her. “I bet it was a great party for you, Em!” he snapped.
“Why?” she asked, irritated. “What’s wrong?”
“I saw how you and Pete were looking at each other,” Ethan snarled. “What the fuck is going on here? Are you fucking him? Don’t make me lose my head!”
Before he had even finished uttering those ominous words, he shoved Emma into the closet door. She struggled to keep her footing, but he was on top of her in an instant, his left hand grasping her throat in a vise-like grip. She fought him hard, kicking and wiggling to get out from under him, until he brought his free hand up and pinched her nostrils shut. Realizing she couldn’t breathe, Emma fought harder to free herself. Just as she passed out, he released his hold on her.
When she came to, she realized she was lying in the same spot where he’d left her. Confused at first, she began to replay what had happened right before she blacked out. Emma rose gingerly to her feet and made her way into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and was horrified by what she saw: the bruises on her neck and a glimpse of the abused child she had once been. She sat on the edge of the tub and cried. Then, exhausted, she crawled into bed and fell into a deep sleep.
Hours later, not knowing what time it was, she woke up to find Ethan having sex with her. She didn’t fight him, because she knew that would only lead to another, more serious brawl. Rather, she lay there like a lifeless doll, letting him do whatever he wanted. But a slow, grinding anger was building up within her and she welcomed it this time, letting it course through her veins and reach her heart, its flames red-hot, obliterating, and turning to ashes any love she might have once felt for him.
Chapter Forty-Nine
While Emma’s relationship with Ethan had turned rotten, her closeness with Salvatore ripened. He had been at Doubles almost every night since he first met Emma. Within a couple of weeks, they had fallen into a routine. She would give him a lap dance and he would reward her with a hundred-dollar tip. Over time, Salvatore and Emma became friends. After she performed her lap dance, they would sit and chat at the bar. He was a kind man. Yet he commanded respect from everyone who talked to him. She was turned on by the aura of power and authority he exuded and couldn’t quite understand where its source lay. All she knew was that when Salvatore talked, people wanted to hear what he had to say. He always came to the bar alone and showered all of his attention on Emma, a fact that made her feel flattered and reassured her that she had something that made her stand out from the others.
Eventually Emma confided in Salvatore about her past. She told him how she had been beaten as a young child by her father, pointing out the scar on her right breast from the cigarette burn and that the slash marks on her lower back were a permanent reminder of her father’s relentless beatings. It was as if God never wanted her to forget the pain that abuse can cause. She told him about Jake and all that he had done to Gracie and her. Salvatore felt his anger flare at the injustices she had suffered and wished Pepper and Jake were still alive so that he could kill them with his bare hands. Yet his anger was dimmed by his fascination with the courage and resilience that this seemingly innocent young girl had shown to survive such horrors in her life.
Emma told him about some of the ways in which Ethan treated her, but was too mortified to share all of her stories or go into detail. She did tell him that whenever her boyfriend was aiming to launch into a jealous tirade against her, he would create an opportunity for himself by yelling, “Don’t make me lose my head!” as though she had provoked him in some way and was, therefore, responsible for his loss of temper.
“Ethan has been taking my money. Just last night he was angry with me and he well…” She stopped, noticing his clenched jaw.
“He what?” Salvatore demanded.
“He choked me until I passed out. Then while I was out cold, he started having sex with me. With all the arguing and jealousy, he’s become a real pain in the ass,” she shared nervously.
Enraged by Ethan’s violent behavior, Salvatore suggested giving the dickhead a much-needed visit, but Emma urged him to stay out of it and mind his own business.
“No, I can deal with it,” she stated confidently, assuring Salvatore that she wasn’t afraid to fight back in self-defense.
Emma and Salvatore enjoyed a rapport she hadn’t shared with anyone. He was full of wisdom and never seemed bothered by anything. He listened to her stories patiently and never once accused her of any wrongdoing. On the contrary, he became more protective about her, something she began to sense over time. He rarely spoke about himself, giving his full attention to her every time they were together.
That same night, while Emma sat at the bar with one of the other dancers, Foster came over with two beers.
“These are from Salvatore,” he told them.
The girls lifted their beers to toast him from across the bar and he lifted his shot of grappa, toasting them back.
“Em, he also wanted me to give you this,” Foster said, sounding concerned.
Emma took the paper from his hand. It had a phone number written on it. “What’s wrong with you, Foster? It’s just a fucking phone number,” Emma said mockingly.
“Yeah, well, Salvatore doesn’t give his phone number to just anyone,” Foster replied. “You get me?”
“Not really.” Emma looked at him, puzzled. “Why are you being so mysterious, Foster? Can you just speak English, please?”
“You’ve been dancing for him for months. Giving him lap dances almost every night. And the two of you have been talking for a long time. You do know who Salvatore is, right?”
“No, I don’t,” Emma shot back. “He’s just a nice guy who comes in and wants to spend time with me. What the fuck, Foster! Tell me what you know!”
“Shit! His name is Salvatore Morano. Ring any bells?” Foster asked.
“No, it doesn’t ring any bells. What’s the big deal?” Emma persisted, beginning to lose patience with him.
“Salvatore’s father is Johnny Morano. He’s the head of the Mafia family here in Philly. You know, his dad is the Godfather. I’m sure you’ve seen the movie. Now do you get it?”
“Oh my God! Oh my God! I didn’t know!” Emma said, more to herself than to Foster.
Anxiety suddenly overwhelmed her. She had told Salvatore so much about Gracie and her. He knew just about everything there was to know about her life, including where she lived.
When Emma got up from the bar to leave for the night, Salvatore stopped her.
“That number the bartender just gave you is my cell number. If you ever need me, call me. Understand?” he said, planting a small kiss on her forehead.
“Yeah, Salvatore, I understand.” Emma turned to walk away, but stopped abruptly. “Thanks,” she said and kissed Salvatore on the cheek.
On the drive back to her apartment that night, as Ethan rambled on about the Eagles losing another football game, Emma was submerged in her
own thoughts. The evening’s events, the time she spent with Salvatore, lulling her into a false state of security.
Chapter Fifty
The next day, Emma went to see Katie. As the two women chatted over coffee and Emma poured herself another cup, she handed her friend the piece of paper with Salvatore’s cell phone number.
“I need you to put this number in your cell phone,” she told Katie. “Ethan checks my cell phone all the time. He keeps worrying that I’m cheating on him, the moron! Anyway, put it under the name Sal M., all right?”
“Sure, but what’s going on?” Katie asked, intrigued and a little excited by her friend’s need to keep the number a secret from Ethan. “Who’s Sal M.?” Was Emma about to dump Ethan for a new boyfriend, she wondered, hoping that she would.
“He’s one of the regulars at the bar,” Emma confided. “A powerful guy. I want to keep his number, just in case I ever need it. Don’t tell anyone.”
“You know I won’t, Em,” Katie promised. “So what’s up with you and Ethan? He’s been a bit of an asshole lately, hasn’t he?”
“What do you mean an asshole?” Emma asked, wanting her friend to validate her decision that he was no good.
“No, nothing, really,” Katie replied. “I’ve just been getting a bad feeling about him. He just isn’t the nice guy he used to be when the two of you met. And why the fuck isn’t he working anymore? He’s taking advantage of you, Emma.”
“I know. I’m going to tell him he has to move out,” Emma assured her.
However, there was something in Katie’s tone that caused Emma’s stomach to turn. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else going on?” she asked her friend. “You know you can tell me. Right, Katie?”
“There’s nothing wrong, Em,” she reassured her, not wanting to reveal that she got a bad feeling every time she watched Ethan when Gracie was around. It was almost as if he was jealous of the young teen.
Over the next couple of days, Ethan’s jealous rages grew completely out of control. He yelled at her for trivial things, such as spending too much money on food at the grocery store. The morning she was going to tell him to move out, things between them deteriorated to an all-time low.
